I woke up feeling a lot more hungry than usual. I slowly and quietly sat up. The bed sheets were over my legs and I looked over at Rumple peacefully asleep next to me. A smile awoken on my face, thinking the good side of him finally showed up. I couldn't be more happier, it felt like just yesterday that I sent Rumple out of Storybrooke. I regretted a lot of things in my past, but this one I regretted the most. After Rumple left Storybrooke, I was miserable and my heart was broken. The pain was too much for me to take in. But when Rumple returned to Storybrooke I wasn't ready to forgive him, I needed proof that he changed... Permanently. What made me realize that he changed was he offered to take Henry for the day when Emma couldn't find anyone else to take him. At that moment I knew he brought out the good in him. I was ready to forgive and forget. Good was in him all along, he just needed to let it out.
Things went by so fast. Rumple and I went through a lot in our past, fighting, romance, life and death. There were even parts when I was truly certain I didn't want to see him again. But when I think about it, it all just grew and developed into a lifetime relationship. I knew that because when I thought I lost Rumple when he sacrificed himself to kill both Peter Pan and himself, that made me realize I couldn't find anyone else to take his place after all we've been through together.
When Rumple asked me to marry him, I said 'yes' right away because I knew it was time to spend my life with him. It was true love all along. But when I found out Rumple deceived me with a fake dagger to maintain his power, I was heart broken again. I thought he truly changed when he asked me to marry him, that he loved me. I thought that his power was more important to him. Rumple wouldn't give up power for me, he never has, and never will, at least that is what I thought. I was so frustrated with him when I saw that he was going to kill Hook by crushing his heart. For the first time I used the real dagger to control his actions; to make him do the right thing. That truly killed me inside to control him, at least I thought he was. I sent him out of Storybrooke because I couldn't bare the sight of him. Even though I killed me inside to do so.
Spending all those months without him, I didn't know what to think or do. It was terrible. But the good part about it was that it gave me plenty of time to think about our struggles and our complicated romance together. We had our ups and downs. Many times. But the good thing about our fighting, is that we have a great time making up. Putting it in the past. I don't really like looking into our past a whole lot because I had my heart broken more than once. He deceived me, lied, broken my trust, faith and belief in him multiple times, made me cry angry and full of emotion. He is a complicated man, which I found out makes us stronger in many ways. We definitely have different opinions and the way we think about different situations, but it's always good to hear what he has to say and what I have to say and work it out together that makes us both happy. But sometimes I need my space, to heal my heart before working out our problem whether or not it's big or small. He has broken my heart in the past and I just want to make sure that whatever he has to tell me or what I have to tell him, doesn't affect our relationship or our delicate hearts.
It may affect our relationship, but it does makes us stronger, so that the next time we have disagreement, a fight, a different opinion, or whatever it may be, we know not to make the same mistake twice, talk it out calmly and really listen to each other so we can learn more about the person we care about.
I may not know everything there is to know about him, and I agree that he is secretive about many things and doesn't like to open up and tell me often, at all. But, every time he does tell me something about his past, or something he did that I didn't know about, I may get angry or upset at first and I know I can't fix what he did in the past, and no matter how angry and upset I may be at the time, I'll always find a way to forgive him. That's how our relationship works. Forgive and forget.
Having Rumplestiltskin in my life isn't easy and it never will be. I'm not expecting it to be easy because after all he's the dark one which makes things difficult for him to make decisions. He as both good and dark in him which makes matters more serious than a person without dark magic. I now realize that he fights both good and dark in him and sometimes the good comes out more or the dark may come out more. Which is hard for him, and I guess I can't really put the blame on him for that. It's not his fault he has trouble controlling that.
I now also realize that I am the key to make the good come out of him, but I also know that he needs to learn to conquer this on his own. He needs to learn to listen to his heart. Which I suspect will take a long time, but I think he can get there. If he tries and I help him.
As long as Rumple's with me, my heart's complete. When I sat up in bed, not only did I feel hungry, I started to feel sick. I thought about waking Rumple up, but he was sleeping so peacefully, I didn't have the heart to wake him. I could be just getting a cold, and it wasn't fair to worry him over nothing. So I slowly got out of bed and and grabbed my housecoat. I was going to go downstairs and make some toast. I quietly left the bedroom and shut the door silently behind me. I walked downstairs and got some bread out. Next to the bread was bananas and a bowl of fruit. I grabbed everything I saw and sat down. I was eating so fast, I didn't even have time to think about why I was eating so much.
A half hour later I heard footsteps coming from the stairs. I knew it was Rumple, I didn't want to embarrass myself by hogging all the food. I quickly got up putting the food away. It was too late, I turned around and Rumple was looking at me oddly. I forced a smile on my face as I was holding chocolate ice cream and the bowl of fruit in my arms.
"Uhhh.. Good morning honey," I said making my smile nice and gentle so Rumple wouldn't think I was crazy. "I guess you are wondering about all of the food." Rumple looked at me with an odd expression on his face.
"Yes, it did come across my mind," Rumple said walking towards me. He took the ice cream from me and put it back in the freezer.
"Well, honey, I... I just remembered, I have a dentist appointment to go to in a hour," I said quickly trying to change the subject and out of his sight. Rumple walked towards me before I made a run for it.
"Hold it," Rumple said. I stopped and looked at him.
"I want an exclamation for all of this," he said firmly. My eyes looked at him for a second and then I stared straight ahead. I was caught in the middle. There's no escape when Rumple wants an answer or something. I didn't know what to do, I didn't want to worry or upset him over nothing. I had to think of something... Fast.
"The food was out for a... A... A picnic," I said quickly. Rumple looked at me in curiosity then all the food that wasn't really for a picnic. I thought to myself, 'that wasn't a very good excuse'. Rumple could get it out of me pretty easily if he tried hard enough. I forced a small smile on my face, my eyes looked at him for a split second then staring straight ahead hoping he let me off the hook.
"Since when do we take chocolate ice cream to a picnic?" Rumple asked. I was running out of excuses to get him off my back.
"Look Rumple," I said holding his arms gently. "I was just rearranging the food so I can find things. There's no need to worry." I forced another smile upon my face and kissed him quickly.
"I am going to go upstairs and get ready," I said walking away. I felt so relieved that I got away with it. I usually never get away with anything with Rumple. But I was confused why he didn't do anything afterwards. He usually tries to get it out of me after he knows I'm running out of excuses. Oh well.
I had my shower and I am in the bedroom getting dressed. I had that sick feeling again after I put my makeup on. I felt like this was more serious than I thought. I sat down on the bed thinking. What's wrong with me? I was thinking and thinking. I decided to go to the library to see if a book might explain why I am feeling sick and hungry. But I was worried that Rumple might find out what was going on.
"Hey, I'm going to the library," I said to Rumple as I was getting my jacket from the closet next to the door.
"Sweetheart?" Rumple said as he was walking towards me.
"Yes?" I said putting my boots on.
"I thought you and I were going out for lunch," he replied to me. I completely forgot, I promised Rumple we go out for lunch today.
"Oh... I'm sorry Rumple, I just remembered that I have a lot of things to get done at the library," I said. "We can do lunch tomorrow, I promise." I walked up to Rumple and kissed him.
"Bye," I said as I was leaving. I was walking down the street and onto Storybrooke Maine to the end of the block to the library. I unlocked it and walked in. I started doing some research. I took out many books on sickness and hunger.
An hour later I finally came to a conclusion. I'm pregnant. I sat there in shock with my hand over my mouth. I started crying with tears forming in my eyes. They dropped down my cheek and hit the counter. This was so emotional for me, I didn't know what to do. I sat there crying for a good five minutes until I realized something. Before I jump to any conclusions, shouldn't I go to the drugstore and buy a pregnancy test? I stopped crying and left the library. I locked up and walked down the street to the drugstore on the left hand side of Storybrooke Maine. I walked in and bought a pregnancy test.
I went back to the library to take the test there. It was too risky to take the test at home, what if Rumple found out? What would I say? I didn't want him to go on thinking that I'm pregnant when I might not be. It wouldn't be fair to get him all worked up about a possible pregnancy. I didn't want to tell him until I knew for sure. I went into the bathroom and followed the instructions. After I was done I sat on the toilet seat waiting for the result. I was hoping I wasn't pregnant, that could just ruin my relationship with Rumple. I love him and all, but a baby? Now? Maybe someday when the times right but I'm not ready to be a mother. I just got Rumple back. I want to make sure that we won't fight or get a divorce before we make a major commit in our relationship to have a baby. That could be the key to our happiness or worst of all, the end of us. What am I going to do if I am pregnant? I can't just tell anyone, I have to tell someone that I can trust besides Rumple. I thought about it for a moment, Mary Margaret is my cousin, I can trust her with secret information.
I looked at my pregnancy test, it was positive. My theory was right, I am pregnant. God. Really? I started bawling my eyes out in the bathroom for a good half hour. Afterwards I realized I need to pull myself together and deal with it. I got up and left the library holding my stomach. I walked to Mary Margaret's apartment and knocked on the door. Of course, Mary Margaret answers.
"Belle?" She said looking at me like I was crying or had a nervous breakdown. "Are you ok?" She asked me. I started sobbing again.
"No," I said quietly. I walked into her house and stood there like I was in pain.
"Sweetheart, what's wrong?" Mary Margaret said concernedly holding my arms gently.
"I... I... I'm pregnant," I said sobbing holding by stomach. Mary Margaret has let goed of my arms and stood there in shock for a moment, then she hugged me.
"Sweetheart, I'm so sorry," she said hugging me. I hugged her back crying into her shoulder.
"Snow, I don't know what to do," I said continuing to hug her crying. "I can't face Rumple with this kind of information, he'd kill me. You were the only other person I could turn to, that I could trust." I was hugging Mary Margaret crying. She released the hug.
"Honey, would you like to stay here until you figure things out?" Mary Margaret asked me. I didn't want her to go through the trouble to have me. I couldn't impose.
"Snow, you don't have to go through all the trouble to have me," I said politely.
"Honey, it's no trouble and we would love to have you," said Mary Margaret. I smiled.
I have been with Snow and Charming for about 3 days. I didn't call Rumple or anything because I needed my space. But I came to the conclusion that I need to face the music with Rumple, whether he is going to kill me or not. I got up and thanked Snow and Charming for letting me stay. I walked down the street towards Rumple's house. I was trying to find the easiest way to break the news to him. There is no easy way to tell him. I walked up the steps of Rumple's house and walked in. When Rumple saw me,
"Belle?" He said surprised. He walked over to me and hugged me tight. I didn't want to hug back because it was just too painful with the news I needed to break to him.
"Where have you been?! I've been worried sick," said Rumple.
"Well you won't be worried after what I have to tell you," I said crying.
"Belle what's wrong?" Asked Rumple concerned holding my shoulders gently.
"There is no easy way to break this to you," I beginne to tell him. "... I'm pregnant." Rumple stood there in shock and released his arms off my shoulders.
"Well?! What do you have to say? Are you going to just stand there?!" I began to shout. "I thought you and I were going to discuss this sort of commitment first! I just got you back and now I am pregnant! Rumple, I'm not ready to be a mother yet! What do I have to offer this baby?! Nothing! My father will be a no good grandfather to it and with everything happening right now, I don't think that it is safe at all for a small, innocent baby!" Rumple held my arms and kissed me slowly on the forehead and hugged me.
"Oh Belle," he began to say. "Every woman is afraid to have a baby. The fact that you're concerned for it and worried about being a good mother, already tells me that you're going to do just fine." I calmed down, chuckled and hugged Rumple.
"Do you really think I can go through with this?" I asked hugging Rumple.
"I know you can," said Rumple politely. "You're the most toughest woman I ever met." I chuckled and released the hug. I put my hand on my stomach and rubbed it gently.
"We are going to have a baby... A family," I said crying with joy. Rumple put his pointer finger on my chin and raised it so he could kiss me. This is it. Our key to happiness.