September 2015, present day

Her stomach was turning and Clarke couldn't distinguish whether it was fear or excitement she was feeling. Move in day was already a disaster, Abby seemed to be having an internal meltdown and that was definitely not making Clarke feel any better.

"Clarke I know you're capable of lifting things on your own, but please, don't argue with me, just let me do this," she said defensively.

Clarke doesn't fight her and decides to stay silent as she pressed the button to the thirteenth floor. They were in the elevator with a horde of messily taped boxes piled around their feet. How they managed to take all of Clarke's things in one trip up to her dorm, she had no idea.

"I just realized how screwed I'd be if the elevator stopped working, being on such a high floor doesn't exactly have its perks." Clarke muttered.

"Hopefully the view is worth it. And Clarke, you haven't met your roommate, right?" Abby asked.

"Uh no, I haven't. But I'm assuming they're already here considering how late we are." Clarke was actually really looking forward to sharing her room with somebody for a change, being the only child of a single mother got pretty lonely.

The doors opened and Clarke used her feet to push some of the boxes out of the elevator doors while holding another large box. Abby followed behind as she tried to maneuver her daughter's belongings around people walking by.

"Okay so the room is 1303 so it should be just down this hall." Clarke said under her breath, but mostly to herself.

"Hey! Sorry I didn't mean to eavesdrop but 1303 is actually down the hall to your left." Abby and Clarke both turned around to see that the voice had come from a head peering out the door behind them.

"I couldn't make it more obvious that it's my first time being here," Clarke spoke. "Thanks for steering us in the right direction."

The figure had left the doorway and made his way towards Clarke, "It's no problem, I figured you'd have wanted to know before dragging all your stuff the opposite way." The boy smiled genuinely and stuck his hand out. "Name's Jasper, welcome to the floor."

"Clarke," She reached out and shook his hand firmly. "I'm sure I'll be seeing you around." She turned on her heel and sighed when she noticed her mom had already left.

"It was nice to meet you, but if you'll excuse me I have to go find my mother before she makes friends for me."

"Cool! Well you know where to find me, good luck with your mom and settling in I guess." Jasper smiled a toothy grin and walked back towards his room.

Clarke started to head towards her dorm and saw the door open when she came into view of 1303. She didn't see Abby outside so it was safe to assume she was already inside. Making her way through the wooden doorframe, she saw three figures in the room with her. One being her mother and two other girls she didn't recognize.

"I didn't even need to be here you know, the least you could do is thank me for helping." A girl with dark hair and a tanned complexion was lying on a bed with her hands behind her head.

"You literally picked up two boxes and have been lying on my bed for the past hour, but thank you so much for your presence." The other girl replied sarcastically, she had intricate braids on either side of her head.

"Girls, if it helps, my daughter is going to be here any minute so you guys can all help each other out." Abby walked over to them, back facing the door.

No one had realized Clarke was still standing by the entrance until she cleared her throat awkwardly. The three women looked towards her with different expressions.

"Oh good you're here. I'll let you do your introductions, just pretend I'm not here." Abby gave the girls a smile and resumed her place by the emptier side of the room, starting to unpack the boxes.

The girl who was lying on the bed opposite to hers got up and made her way to Clarke, "Hey, I'm Raven. Sorry about her," she pointed her thumb behind her, "she's on her period."

"Raven, I swear to god."

"I'm Clarke, nice to meet you. Sorry but I have to ask, which one of you is actually my roommate here?"

"That would be me," The other girl had appeared beside Raven and stepped forward to politely offer her hand to Clarke. "I'm Octavia, I promise I'm less of a pain in the ass than this one here."

She grabbed her hand and noticed the firm shake she was given in return. Clarke gave her a small smile; her demeanour was genuine.

"Looks like you're more or less unpacked." Clarke said walking towards her side of the room, joining Abby with a small smile. She began to rifle through her stuff and started to empty the box which read "ART" in sharpie.

"Yeah, I figured I would get here early before it got too crowded. Raven already moved in last week because God knows she's such a keener."

"A keener with 6.0 GPA who can't afford to fuck anything up, mechanical engineering isn't exactly easy, Octavia," Raven replied annoyed, walking back to the disheveled bed. Abby turned around and gave a look to the relaxed girl when she heard the profanity leave her mouth.

"My bad Ms. Griffin, I'm not exactly ladylike when it comes to speaking." She replied with a smirk.

"Mechanical engineering? That sounds intense." Clarke was putting away her brushes, when Octavia piped in, "what about you?"

Clarke hid her growing smile, "Visual arts, it's my passion, really."

"What kind of art?" Raven turned on the bed and leaned up on her elbow to face the blonde.

"The visual kind, what do you think Raven?" Octavia rolled her eyes.

Clarke was actually enjoying the banter between the two girls she just met, it was pretty amusing, and it made her feel less out of place.

"O, do us all a favour, take a Midol and stop being hormonal." The tan girl had reached over into a bag and grabbed a pillbox then threw it towards Octavia. She caught it in a swift motion and swore under her breath.

"Sorry, you were saying?"

A chuckle escaped Clarke's lips before she could stop it and internally scolded herself. "Well, I mostly draw but I paint as well. It's the only thing that keeps me sane to be honest."

Raven just nodded, "Boxing is that for me. It's been keeping me stable. When I'm pissed off I just go to the gym and punch stuff, it's pretty ideal."

Clarke had finished arranging her art supplies on her desk, and took a seat on the chair in front of her. Abby was putting sheets on the bed, and for a minute she had forgotten about her being there.

"Octavia, I'm sorry I didn't ask, but what are you studying?"

She mirrored Clarke's seating at her desk, looking up from her phone with an unreadable expression, "Psychology. The mind fascinates me, I want to learn the reasoning behind everything we do, and why."

"I have a psych lecture every Tuesday and Thursday actually," Clarke said with a hint of a smile.

"1010 with Kane?!" The girl shifted her focus from her phone to Clarke.

"Yeah! Tell me you're in that class." She pleaded.

"Oh hell yes! That's a relief, now you can take notes for me whenever I want to sleep in," Octavia paused, "Why are 8am classes even a thing?"

Abby broke her silence after making Clarke's bed and took a seat on the single bed with a tired sigh, "That's college for you, have fun ladies."

The three girls groaned in unison at the realization of early wake ups, and then fell into a relaxed laughter at how ridiculous they sounded. Clarke wore a genuine smile, she already felt like things were going the way they were supposed to.

It was Thursday already, and Clarke thought the first week was going pretty well. She was walking out of class with Octavia trailing behind her. Clarke was taking tentative steps as she typed on her phone.

Mom: i hope ur going to class and remember to call me at least once a week! Love u

Me: I'm going to all my classes don't worry and i've been calling every day

Mom: i just miss hearing ur voice clarke, can u blame me?

Mom: love u :)

Me: love you too

She smiled to herself before putting her phone in her back pocket. "Your mom again?" Octavia asked catching up to her.

"Yeah, it's only been 4 days and she's already getting anxious."

"Hey, at least she still cares about your existence. Mine, not so much." Clarke looked to her and saw anger flash through Octavia's eyes but it was gone as fast as it appeared.

"But at least she did me and Bell a favor, she was a shitty excuse for a mother to begin with…" Clarke noticed her hands balling into fists, knuckles white.

"I-I'm sorry-" Clarke was about to finish but Octavia interrupted, "Don't apologize for something you have no control over, I'm over it."

Clarke could see in her expression that it was a sensitive topic, so she just nodded. The two of them were about to round the corner of a busy walkway when she felt a vibration in her pocket.

Mom: when did u want me to visit next?

Clarke continued her pace beside Octavia, eyes downcast towards her phone about to type out her reply when she felt herself run into somebody's shoulder. She instantly felt an ache on her chest when she realized she walked right into someone. Clarke thought she dropped her phone but was thankful when she felt it clutched in her hand. She finally composed herself enough to squat down and reach for the fallen water bottle and textbook, "Sorry, I wasn't watching where I was going."

The person she bumped into was wearing a black baseball cap covering her eyes, hair tied into a loose bun, wearing a knit top with jeans. What caught her attention the most though, was the small but visible tattoo of a black and white rose between her index finger and thumb. It took Clarke a second to realize it was a girl, because, duh. As she went to grab the plastic bottle she saw it being snatched so quickly she forgot it fell in the first place.

"It's fine." The voice slurred a bit, but Clarke didn't notice.

Clarke managed to hand over the textbook which read "Guitar Tabs for Advanced Players", and both of them got back on their feet at the same time. She was about to say something else in apology but before she knew it green eyes blinked to her blue ones and then she was gone.

What the hell was that?

Clarke forgot that she was in the middle of a crowded hallway and was pulled from her thoughts when she heard, "Dude, don't text and walk. Let's go?" Her response was a wordless nod and she followed.

She started walking but couldn't stop herself from thinking about the weird encounter she just had. The girl was pretty from what she briefly saw, like really pretty. Clarke didn't know if she was jealous or just thought she was attractive. She could barely make out her features because her hat was obscuring her face, but she distinctively remembers those green eyes.

Clarke was so distracted that she didn't even remember to respond to her text.

"So there's this really cute guy in my stats class..." Octavia was lying on her bed looking up at the ceiling waiting for a response.

"Oh yeah? Have you guys talked?"

Octavia scoffed, "He's literally the most attractive guy in the entire class. I'd be lucky if I he looked my way."

"Like my favourite band Coldplay once said, "if you never try, you'll never know."

"Seriously? Coldplay's lame as fuck."

"You're lame as fuck," Clarke retorted mockingly, "I wouldn't even talk O, you're literally staring at a poster of One Direction above your bed. Speaking of which, what made you think it would be a good idea to position it so that you're staring at their faces before you go to sleep?"

Clarke was sitting cross-legged on her bed leaning against the wall with her laptop, when she looked back to her quiet roommate. "That was a rhetorical question. Tell me more about this attractive guy."

The girl got up from her place and mimicked Clarke's position so that they were facing each other on opposite sides of the room.

"His name's Lincoln. He always raises his hand and asks questions which makes sense because stats is insufferable," Clarke notices the way she plays with her hands and fidgets nervously under her gaze. "But he knows what he's talking about and he just sounds so smart, and did I mention that he works out? Like a lot, his arms are ridiculous."

"You're practically swooning, you need to talk to him."

"What if he's already got a girlfriend? I'll feel so stupid to have even bothered, like he's too good looking to not have someone." She sounded annoyed but mostly at the situation.

"Look Octavia, you're hot. Anyone with eyes can see that, all I can tell you is that you should give it a shot. If it doesn't work out, whatever, you tried." Clarke looked away from her laptop and gave a reassuring smile.

"So you're into chicks, huh blondie?" Octavia smirked.

Clarke felt heat crawl up her neck and onto her cheeks, "I'm more of a best of both worlds kinda gal." She replied suggestively.

"Ugh gross, you didn't need to throw a Hannah Montana reference in there. Totally unnecessary."

Clarke went back on her laptop to play the song to make Octavia even more uncomfortable when they heard a knock on the door. Clarke didn't make any attempt to move, and with an eye roll Octavia got up and answered the door.

"Bell!" Clarke shifted her gaze from the screen in front of her to the door to see Octavia hugging a guy with unkempt hair. "I missed you, jerk." He released her from his grip and smiled apologetically.

"I'm sorry, I moved in the same time as Raven and I had to work double shifts at the shop, couldn't get out of it."

Octavia looked in Clarke's direction, and she awkwardly got the memo and walked towards the two.

"Bellamy, this is my roommate Clarke, and this goof right here is my brother." Octavia smiled at him.

"Hey, it's nice to meet you. She hasn't gotten on your nerves yet I hope?" He joked.

Clarke wasn't sure if she should shake his hand, but that's what she's been doing so far, so she extends her hand to him, "Likewise. And no, she's great. For the most part."

They were about to close the door after them when Raven called out, "Are you forgetting someone? I'm pretty insulted."

"Oh shit right, sorry!" Bellamy held the door open and let the shorter girl inside.

"And this was my idea too, not cool bro." Raven shot a disappointed look towards the older brother.

"Wait, what idea?" Octavia asked confused. They all found places to sit in the double room, with Clarke and Raven on one side, and Octavia and Bellamy on the other.

"It's Thursday, you know what that means!" Bellamy said enthusiastically.

"We aren't all third years here Bell, we're freshmen all over again. Now elaborate, what exactly goes down on a Thursday?" The younger of the two repeated.

"Pub night, nowhere specific because all the bars on campus do it, but I always hit up The Ab." He replied. He went to lie on the bed and draped his legs over Octavia's lap.

"The Ab? Is that code for something?" Raven laughed beside Clarke.

"The Absinthe, that's the bar I'm talking about. It's got a rustic grungy feel to it, you guys would like it."

"Oh yeah, you know how I like it all rustic and grungy." Raven was laughing even harder now.

Clarke noted the way Raven subtly lit up at Bellamy making conversation. She smiled, "I'm in."

Raven chimed in, "Same here, I'm always up for drinks."

Octavia looked at her brother with her hands up, "If I end up throwing up on you, don't say I didn't warn you."

"So basically the stage of being white-girl wasted." Clarke grinned, and Raven failed at holding in her laugh.

"Shut up, let's see how you two look by the end of the night." She sneered.

"Alright, it's settled," Bellamy clapped his hands together, "I just realized how weird it's going to look bringing in three chicks."

"Hey maybe you'll get a reputation for being a ladies man, you'd like that." Raven gave him a knowing look.

"Are you kidding? I've had that rep since high school and it's been working out pretty well."

Octavia pinched the bridge of her nose and gave Raven an exasperated look, "Don't make me regret coming."

The fact that Clarke didn't know what to expect tonight made it all the more enticing.

So it didn't end up being only the four of them going, Clarke remembered the lanky guy she met on move in day and decided to invite Jasper too.

"Thanks a lot for inviting me Clarke. I haven't really had the time to do anything since classes started, bio is seriously killing my social status." Jasper was closing his dorm room door behind him and gestured his arms outward to Clarke, "After you m'lady."

"I barely know you but I can already tell you're a huge dork." She laughed lightly moving towards the elevator.

"If you think I'm a dork, wait till you meet my roommate Monty, he's a lot worse. He didn't even know I left just now, once he starts a match in League of Legends, he's a goner."

"I don't even know what that is, but sounds cool? I guess," Clarke wasn't exactly up-to-date on the latest video games, "I don't really play, I'm an artist so I usually spend my time sketching or something."

They wait for the elevator in a comfortable silence and walk in once it reached their floor. It reaches the lobby fairly quickly and Clarke saw her group of friends waiting by some couches. She felt like everything was falling into place and couldn't help but grin when she approached the familiar faces.

"Oh yeah, this is Jasper, he's on our floor." Everyone introduced themselves one by one.

"Hey Jasper, good to see you again." Octavia gave the boy a small smile, and Clarke could already tell he was drooling.

"You look good Octavia, I mean you always look good, but more so today. That sounded weird didn't it, sorry I think my hermit lifestyle made me suck at socializing," he nervously rubbed the back of his neck looking away from Octavia. Clarke inwardly cringed at his awkward small talk.

Bellamy and Raven pretended not to notice Jasper's feeble attempt at flirting. Octavia just shot him a small smile, which was apparently good enough for him. He was back to his giddy self and spoke, "So are we going to go drink or what?"

"This is going to sound really stupid because I only thought about this now, but… we don't have any fakes on us. They won't even serve us." Octavia said with a blank face.

The realization hit both Clarke and Jasper and their faces fell, Raven brought her hand to her face and groaned loudly, "Bellamy this was your plan, any ideas?"

"Guys ease up, it's totally fine. My friend works there, he won't give us any trouble, I promise." Bellamy's reassurance brought on hesitation from the group but they went for it.

"Okay, I'm tired of wasting time, I need a drink, or like ten." Raven pushed through the exit grumbling.

The five of them finally made it to the building where the bar was; it was in the basement of the arts building, somewhere Clarke would be frequenting. She finally understood what Bellamy meant by "rustic grunge". The doors leading in were lined with vintage concert posters from the 70's, and a hand painted sign that read 'The Absinthe Pub & Café' at the top. Clarke liked it already, except for the musty smell of stale beer and rotting wood that filled her senses as soon as she walked in.

"This isn't my usual type of place to get drunk at, but I like it. Nice one Bell." Raven gave Bellamy a pat on the shoulder and walked with the rest towards a booth near the front.

Octavia stiffened as she sat down and spared obvious glances toward the bar where a tall, broad man, with a shaved head stood pouring drinks.

"Uh, Octavia? You alright there?" Jasper noticed the change in the girl and tried to see what was wrong.

"Clarke, that's the guy. It's Lincoln behind the bar." Octavia looked so flustered and her sudden onset of awkwardness was becoming kind of funny to watch.

Raven followed her line of sight and finally put two and two together, "Damn." she turned around again for another glance to get a proper look. Jasper looked towards the bar and saw the burly man Octavia was staring at and his disappointment was evident, to Clarke at least. She didn't say anything, but smiled at Jasper in a poor attempt to comfort him.

Clarke who was seated to Octavia's right moved her eyes toward the bar and saw the source of her roommate's affection. He was nice to look at, that's for sure, no wonder Octavia's so freaked out to make a move, she thought.

"Well shit O. He's pretty cute, I'll give you that." She gave a nervous Octavia a coy smile.

They both turned to face Lincoln who stood behind the bar leaning towards Bellamy, both of them erupting into sincere laughter. Octavia put her face in her hand and leaned onto her elbow, Clarke tried to hide a smile when she turned to see how absolutely infatuated she looked. She let herself hold a genuine smile, more to herself than anything.

"Hey you guys, I'm going to get us a pitcher. I'll get some vodka and limes just in case too." Bellamy had come over and let everyone know before moving back towards Lincoln.

"I'm good with any alcoholic drink, no issues here." Raven said out loud then high-fived Jasper when she saw him offer his palm to her in agreement.

She felt Octavia slide over and out of the booth watching as she sauntered over beside Bellamy and leaning on the bar with her forearms.

Took her long enough.

Clarke took a proper look at her surroundings; the entire interior of the bar was made out of distressed wood giving it that rustic look, with a heavily stained carpet covering the floor adding to the obvious grunge vibe. She noticed a hook just above the bar with different coloured bras on display and she chuckled, but that wasn't the only thing that caught her attention.

She tried to block out the loud voices coming from all around the room, it was getting pretty distracting, and most of them already sounded wasted. Clarke was scanning the place when she took notice of a figure slouching on a table for two towards the back of the bar in dark clothing and a beanie. The girl looked to be pretty absorbed in the book in front of her face, loose brown curls framing the sides of her head.

That was when she saw it, a black and white rose on the back of her hand.

Shit.

Bellamy couldn't have chosen a better time to bring the drinks over to the table, Octavia sidled back over with an obvious grin on her face. Clarke was snapped back to reality when a pint glass was put in front of her, blocking her view from the girl she was staring at.

"Cheers guys. I told you everything was handled, you gotta trust brother Bell." He lifted his glass towards the middle of the table and waited to toast his glass with everyone.

"Clarke? Are you okay? You seem kind of distracted." Raven looked concerned when you didn't lift your glass.

"Oh, yeah! I'm fine, it's just super loud and I can't even hear myself think," She lied, and brought up her glass, "Cheers."

Clarke was taking a sip and her gaze drifted back to the hidden figure in the back corner of the room. She set her glass down and made sure no one was trying to strike up a conversation before she returned to looking at the girl. There was a pack of cigarettes lying on the surface of the table, along with 3 empty pints.

Girl can drink, impressive.

You look back to your friends and watch as Raven animatedly tells a story about how she basically built a 5 foot model rocket ship by herself, you only notice Octavia leave when the warmth of her pressed to your side disappears. Lincoln was wiping down the bar counter and had a grin on his face when he saw her approach him.

Clarke averted her gaze to the girl and expected to see the back of the book, but instead she saw the book being set down on the table, and the pack of cigarettes being stuffed into her jacket pocket. Clarke didn't realize she was staring until those familiar pale-green eyes met hers from across the room. She thought she was having something similar to a stroke because everything just kind of stopped. Clarke couldn't explain what she was feeling in that moment, she stopped breathing somewhere along the way too but she couldn't move her eyes away.

She was ripped from her thoughts when she heard loud chanting coming from the frat guys' table beside theirs. Clarke thought she was still staring but realized thegirl wasn't at the table anymore, she doesn't remember seeing her leave.

Pull it together and chill the fuck out.

"Hey Bellamy, do you have any cigarettes?" She didn't know what she said until she heard it come out of her mouth.

"Since when do you smoke Griffin?" Raven gave her an incredulous look while Bellamy wore a similar expression.

"Yeah I do, here just take it. Don't tell Octavia, she hates it." Clarke didn't think he would give in so easily but she grabbed the pack and put it in her coat pocket.

Octavia was deep in conversation with Lincoln, and didn't notice Clarke slip past the entrance and into the hallway. She walked the opposite way they came in and pushed through a set of doors that lead outside. Clarke didn't see anyone and something inside of her ached, until she rounded the corner and saw someone's back facing her.

The sound of the door closing shut startled the girl and she turned around a little too quickly. Clarke kept her eyes down and pulled out the pack from her pocket.

"Shit." She muttered. Of course she forgot to ask Bellamy for a lighter.

In the corner of her eye, she saw the girl take careful steps toward her and Clarke lifted her gaze to see a hand outstretched offering a white lighter.

"Thanks." Clarke placed one between her lips, the act not feeling completely alien to her, and brought the flame to the end. She inhaled, and oh boy she forgot how to do this. She didn't exhale her first puff before she choked and coughed out the smoke.

She heard a muffled laugh from the other side of her but it was gone as soon as Clarke stopped struggling for breath.

"I take it you don't smoke." Was all the girl said.

Clarke looked up into her eyes and finally got a good look at the mystery girl's face.

Holy fuck.

To say Clarke was enamoured would be a huge understatement. The girl had green eyes with some grey infused in there, they were mesmerizing to look at. What Clarke noticed most was the change in the girl's expression, she only remembered the hardened stare and expressionless eyes. But this time her eyes were gentler, but her face remained stoic and guarded.

"Not really, it's been a while if that's what you meant."

"I meant what I said, you don't smoke. So why are you?" This time her voice had a bit of an edge to it, she took a long drag and blew the smoke out in a cloud. Clarke noticed the change and levelled with her.

"Why are you?" She challenged. Clarke brought the cigarette to her lips and slowly inhaled watching the girl with an open stare, careful not to repeat her first puff. This time she didn't cough out a lung, but it was apparent she didn't do this often with her self-conscious hand movements.

"That's not the point." She said flatly.

Clarke moved her eyes so that she was looking at the concrete below and glanced at the girl who had now walked a few steps further away. There was something about her voice that had changed when she spoke, it wasn't angry, it sounded defeated more than anything.

"Then it shouldn't matter, don't you think?" Clarke didn't really know where this conversation was going, but something inside her fuelled her responses. She brought her head up to look at the girl again; she was tall, taller than Clarke even. Her posture was a lot better than when she saw her inside the bar, her shoulders were set straight while she kept her other hand in her pocket. The girl was blowing out a breath of smoke and looked back at Clarke.

"It doesn't matter what I think." She turned so that her back was facing Clarke and took another drag.

"Why are you being like that?" Clarke spoke a little louder, annoyed at how the girl turned a light conversation into a tension filled silence.

The girl turned around, and Clarke felt herself shrink under her gaze when she was met with a familiar scornful expression, her eyes darker than they were a minute ago.

"Like what? You don't know anything about me." She scoffed and lifted her arm to throw the filter a couple feet away with a flick of her finger. That was the last thing she said before she walked away, and like that she was gone, again.

Clarke was stunned at the sudden outburst and tried to understand what just happened, she doesn't remember saying anything insulting. She hadn't expected the girl she saw five minutes ago to turn around and become another person entirely.

Something stuck in Clarke's mind though, as the girl went to throw away her cigarette butt, her sweater sleeve slid down and she could see a blend of pink and dark red lines up and down her forearm.

She clenched her jaw and squeezed her eyes shut, "God I'm such an idiot."