Lost Souls
Prologue
* Set about a year after the events of "Birds of a Feather; Epilogue" *
Catherine stared dismally out of her apartment window at Asgard, watching the people go about their daily business. A light rain had fallen over the land this afternoon which was fitting really considering that some of the citizens, herself included had gone to a funeral today. It was certainly the right weather for it though Catherine was grateful it had not turned totally stormy. It was no fun looking out at Asgard with a murky unpleasant sky. She tugged her dark mourning robes about herself, keeping out the growing chill in the room. She would have to light the fire if it got any colder. Turning around, she headed to the kitchen and produced a bottle of the cider she enjoyed so much. Pouring herself a drink, she began to reflect on the events of the day.
She supposed that she ought to be sorry that she was unable to shed any tears at her mother's funeral today or that she shed so few at her younger sister's funeral, a few weeks before. But she did not feel any regret over her own feelings for the deaths. She had long since parted ways with her family and though she had been sorrowful about her sister's death, she felt next to nothing about her mother's suicide. If anything, her mother's suicide was something she could understand. More than understand, she could remember such pain and wanting it to be over.
Catherine downed the glass of cider and poured another quickly. Lately her life seemed to be filling up with deaths though it was fortune alone which kept her father and remaining sister alive. Despite the tragedies that had unfolded in the family, Catherine had no desire to rejoin them. She had no desire for anything anymore. Her goals, her hopes and dreams had all come crashing down within the space of six months. Wandering around the lounge, sipping her second glass, Catherine began to reflect on this year and everything that had happened. Funerals did that to you, they made you look at your own life. Well, Catherine told herself, hers wasn't that much to look at, not at the moment.
It had been ten months since her child had died inside her and had to be delivered stillborn. All the time, she was taken back to that day in the apartment where she had been pushed through the throes of labour only to be handed her dead baby. A beautiful, perfect baby boy, he had been. Catherine had already seen his father's image in him and it brought back the pain of Loki's death even more. Losing her son on top of that grief had nearly driven her mad. It had only been the day to day necessities of life that had pushed her to survive.
She had driven herself from Loki's family as much as she could, not wanting anything to do with them. At first they tried to convince her to stay near them and recover but eventually they had stopped visiting her, realising it would do no good anymore. Her heart was forever steeled against Odin and his family after Catherine's losses.
Oh there had been times when she felt like she couldn't go on. In fact there was nothing in her life that was really worth living for but Catherine just didn't have that overwhelming urge to do anything about ending her life. She was just existing. Doing what she could to have a normal routine, pretend she was normal like everyone else. But all she saw when she woke up were Loki and her boy's faces.
She had named him Tyr Lokison. If it hadn't been for their culture of surnames, the child's first name would have been Loki after his father but Catherine was rather attached to the name she had given him. Sometimes she liked to imagine how he would have turned out. She imagined even now, a small raven haired baby with bright green eyes and a look of innocence on his face. Catherine took a heavy sip of her drink and shook her head. Thinking of Tyr was too much at times.
She had already had to accept Loki's death and had been struggling with that when she lost Tyr too. She could remember how devastated Frigga had been to learn of the baby's death and Thor too, had been touched by great sadness. Odin, though sad for such a tragedy to occur to Catherine, had never been an advocate for the pregnancy anyway. In fact he had continuously called for a termination and once upon a time so had Thor until Catherine had managed to reason with him. Even though the medics had said that unborn infant deaths could happen for many reasons, Catherine had her own suspicions as for what caused her son's death.
Odin's pressure had not been easy to live with knowing that he wanted a part of Loki dead. It had made her stressed and protective. Thor too, with his disapproval had not made things easier. Not to mention that she had been caught up in her own grief over Loki. She had lost her appetite during the early stages of pregnancy and had had high blood pressure regularly in the later months. There were many reasons for the cause of the stillbirth but Catherine was sure that essentially Odin's disapproval had cursed the pregnancy, with the pressure his stance put upon her. She would never voice it out loud but she held him the most accountable for Tyr's death.
She could have been a happy new mother by now, picking up the pieces of a life without Loki and raising her son. But no, it had not been allowed to happen. Sometimes she did wonder if it was punishment for her siding with Loki. She could never and would never find a true explanation for the death of her son and that was something that haunted her every dream. There had been a suggestion that the child's Frost Giant's genetics could have disrupted the pregnancy but in truth, Catherine didn't believe that any more than Odin did. Asgardians were strong though sadly not immune to such infant tragedies.
She took another long sip from her glass and stared out the window again. It was just another insignificant day, she told herself. Maybe one day soon she would find a way out of this world.
Hey guys! I hope this prologue was a good info chapter on the time gap between the fics. I quite enjoyed establishing Catherine as a changed character without telling it through the process of the change. It will become more explored though with the fic about the events of the last year in more detail later. Anyway please read and review! No flames please!