Post-ep for 3x13: 'Knockdown'
Chocolate and Hazelnuts
She stays with him, waits outside the ambulance, bathed by the florescent lights of the sirens in the biting cold while the paramedics finish checking him over. Ryan and Esposito have already chased her away from them, reassuring her that they're okay and shrugging off her concern as they try to keep up the bravado and protect what's left of their pride.
They scared her. She'll never let them know, at the risk of endless teasing, but she really thought that she might have lost them today. And Castle…
Castle beat up a trained killed to save her life.
She releases a heavy sigh, slumping back against the side of the ambulance. This isn't what he's supposed to be doing. He's supposed to be tucked up at home watching a movie with his mother and daughter, not having his injured fist wrapped up in the back of an ambulance.
He shouldn't be exposed to the kind of darkness she surrounds herself with.
She reaches a hand to her lips, fingers shaky as they come into contact with the skin, still swollen from his kiss.
Their kiss.
Closing her eyes, she tries to erase the memories, so vivid it's almost as if she can still feel it. The heat of him, enveloping her in the strength of his arms, large hands she's thought about more times than she'd care to admit running through the strands of her hair, tugging gently on the curls. His mouth…
Oh, his mouth.
"Beckett?"
She startles at his voice, eyes flying open as she tries to stem the blush heating up her cheeks at the sight of the very man whose tongue she was just fantasising about.
"You okay?" he asks, sounding so concerned that she wants to wrap her arms around him, feel the comforting warmth of his arms again.
"Uh, yeah," she stutters, coughing to clear the tightness in her throat. "Ready to go?"
He nods, following her over to the cruiser, no quips or smartass comments in sight as he walks beside her, almost solemnly. This week must have been difficult for him, too. While she's been wrapped up in the grips of her mother's case, he's been doing his best to cheer her up, keep her grounded in the way that only he seems able to.
They drive in silence, everything that's happened tonight sitting between them like a third passenger. She keeps thinking he's going to say something, bring up the unconventional distraction technique they used, but he doesn't. He stays quiet, brow furrowed as though he's deep in thought, silent until she signals for a turn that will take them in the direction of his loft.
"Wait," he says, putting his hand out to stop her.
She slows down, glancing over at him. "What's wrong?"
"I…I just," he stumbles over his words, like he's struggling to work out what to say.
"Castle?"
"Mother and Alexis," he tells her, voice low as he bows his head slightly, looking at her with pleading in his eyes as he motions to his bandaged fist. "I don't want to have to explain this to them just yet."
She nods in understanding, filled with a sudden sense of guilt, gnawing at her insides as she thinks how easily everything this week could have gone so very wrong, how Alexis could have lost her father and Martha her son, to a fate that she herself had led him to.
Keeping on the same straight road, she ignores the turning, following a new route to a very particular place that she has in mind.
Castle must realise that she's taking them somewhere different, because he turns to face her, looking confused. "Where're we going?"
"Wait and see, Castle."
"Beckett, seriously, just drop me off at a bar or something," he says. "Don't go out of your way for me."
"Castle," she tells him sternly, not taking her eyes off the road. "Shut up and let me take you somewhere, okay?"
He blinks at her, and she can see the emotions warring on his face from the corner of her eye. Does he really think that spending time with him is some kind of obligation for her? After all this time?
It only takes another few minutes before she pulls over, parking up at the side of the road outside of her intended destination, still open, even after midnight.
She climbs out, a confused and strangely hesitant Castle hot on her heels. The curiosity she knew he'd have is practically oozing off him. He blinks up at the pink neon sign, glowing brightly in the shadow of the night, turning to look at her with shining eyes and barely reigned in enthusiasm.
"An ice cream parlour?" he chuckles, looking happier than she's seen him all week. "Really, Beckett?"
She shrugs, feeling kind of shy all of a sudden, tucking her hands into the warm pockets of her coat, bouncing on the balls of her feet. "I figured ice cream at midnight would be the best way to say 'thank you for saving my life'."
His eyes crinkle at the edges, gazing at her with such fondness that she has to drop her head, hide behind the curls of her hair and look away before she's tempted to kiss the smile he's giving her off his face.
Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.
But he's already swinging the door open, motioning her inside as he holds it for her. The parlour's empty, of course, but the college-aged kid at the counter doesn't look surprised to see them, just giving them a smile as he hands out a menu.
They choose their flavours quickly, moving to take a seat each on the stools by the window. The counter looks out to the city outside, still wide awake with traffic and artificial lights even as most of its inhabitants sleep. Beckett tucks herself into the corner, needing the stability of a wall behind her back after today, and she situates herself on the creaking stool, the wood worn with age.
Once Castle's seated next to her, their server presents them with a bowl each, the large scoops of succulent ice cream already beginning to soften inside. Choosing this place on a whim, she hadn't really felt hungry, but now, faced with the mouth-watering scent of coffee from the tiramisu flavour she chose, she finds herself eager to tuck in.
Castle seems perfectly satisfied with his own chocolate and hazelnut ice cream, already licking his spoon clean of his first mouthful, mindful of his bandaged hand. She watches the play of his tongue, squeezing her thighs together at the jolting memory of it painting the seam of her own lips only a couple of hours ago.
"So," Castle starts, thankfully forcing her to pull herself together and forget about what happened earlier. "How do you know about this place?"
"I used to come here with my dad," she explains, picking up her spoon to ready her first mouthful. "It used to be a weekend treat when I was younger."
He nods thoughtfully at her, not needing any elaboration to know that she hasn't been here in a while, especially not with her father. She appreciates his lack of commentary on the topic, not wanting to delve into it tonight. He might usually be one to push, but he always seems to realise when to back off.
The first taste of ice cream has her releasing an appreciative moan at the taste, flavours bursting on her taste buds so wonderfully that she closes her eyes and lets it melt against her tongue. Opening them again, she finds Castle watching her, own ice cream momentarily forgotten as his iris darken, fixated on her mouth.
It makes her shift in her seat, blush rising and surely painting her cheeks scarlet as they give away her reaction to his hungry gaze. This is a dangerous game that they're playing, but the scary part is that she isn't entirely sure she wants to stop it.
"Um," Castle coughs, clearing his throat when he sounds a little rough. "Are you going to be able to call Josh soon?"
Josh? Why would she be calling-
Oh.
"He's in Africa, Castle."
"I know, you told me before."
"No, he's in Africa…permanently."
Castle pauses, his spoon hovering halfway to his mouth as he stares at her. "What?"
She begins to fidget in her seat, bouncing her spoon between her fingers. "Well, not exactly permanently, but he'll be gone for most of the year, so obviously, it's not going to work out with us."
"You broke up?" he asks, looking genuinely shocked. Maybe she should have told him sooner, but she's been so scared that the both of them being single will make things weird, bring up issues that they haven't had to worry about recently. Only now…
"Yeah," she nods, giving him a half shrug to communicate that she's mostly unbothered by these recent developments. "I never really thought it would be anything long term anyway."
He hums, not seeming particularly unhappy about this, and she doesn't expect him to be. Josh had obviously not been his favourite person, and you didn't need to be a detective in order to work that out.
"I'm sorry, by the way."
"Castle, I already told you that I didn't-"
"No, not about that," he interrupts, looking far too serious all of a sudden. "Well, actually, I'm sorry for that too, but I want to apologise about…before."
She stares blankly at him, utterly confused. "What are you talking about?"
Shifting on his stool, he suddenly looks uncomfortable, and it makes nervous butterflies erupt inside her stomach. "I kissed you," he says finally, staring right at her, and she gapes at the words. Is he seriously going to bring this up? "And I didn't give you much of a choice in the matter."
Shaking her head at him, she drops her spoon to the table with a clatter. "No, don't apologise, it's not like I didn't en-" she catches herself suddenly, clamping her mouth shut, a dark blush no doubt rising on her cheeks from the way they're burning. Oh God, did she really almost tell him that she enjoyed it?
She coughs, clearing her throat. "Uh, it's not like I didn't…endanger you by putting you in that situation, so it was acceptable to, um, improvise."
He just looks at her, not speaking, but she can see a slight twinkle in his eye, the subtle curve of his lips as he tries to fight a smirk.
She rolls her eyes, heaving out a sigh as she decides to just give up the pretence. "Oh, shut up," she mutters, picking up her spoon. She raps him on the knuckles of his good with it, smothering a giggle when he curses, jolting away from her.
"Ouch!" he cries out, sticking his knuckle into his mouth to soothe the throb. "Shit, Beckett, you're going to leave me unable to write for a week if you injure this hand as well."
"Oh, don't be a baby," she scoffs, smiling easily as she leans closer to him with her elbows on the counter.
He pouts at her, and the adorable childishness sends a rush of warmth through her. Or maybe it's just that she kind of wants to kiss him again. "It's not funny, Beckett," he says. "That seriously hurt. You're going to have to kiss it back to make it better."
Humming at him, she twirls her spoon inside the bowl, watching as the softening ice cream twirls around it. "I already kissed you back."
She's met with silence, and it takes a couple of moments to realise the implications of what she's just told him. Her face is probably burning scarlet now, being able to feel the embarrassed heat all the way to the tips of her ears, and she quickly uses the curtain of her hair to hide from his wide eyed stare and smug grin.
Thankfully, the waiter chooses that moment to check that everything's okay with them, and it gives her a moment to catch herself, get a grip on the situation and just get through tonight without digging a deeper hole for herself.
Not bringing it up again, they finish their desserts while trying to discuss more light hearted topics to warn off the wading darkness of the past couple of days; Castle's unfortunate run in with Ashley's parents last week, as well as the incident at the precinct when a cat belonging to a suspect got loose and started wreaking havoc in the bullpen. She finds herself relaxing slightly as they talk, some of the tension that's been building inside her replaced by warmth that only his presence seems to bring her.
They leave the parlour, stepping into the frigid night air as she buries her chin into the collar of her coat, protecting it from the chill of the wind as they walk back over to her car. She stumbles slightly, her heel catching on a crack on the side walk, and he swiftly moves to steady her, hand firm as it grips her waist. For a second she worries that he's jarred his bandaged hand, but she sees it dangling uselessly by his side.
Pausing, their eyes meet as the dormant flames between them begin to simmer again, flaring up at only the barest contact. She suddenly feels like she's back in the alley, staggering next to him in a pretence of being drunk, when he grabs her, spinning her around. The determination on his face clued her in to exactly what he was planning to do, the skin of his palm soft against her cheeks, eyes darkening as they struck with hers', and she was hopeless to resist what was going to happen.
She jumps away from him, startling as if she's just been burnt, trying to ignore the hurt flaring in his eyes as she opens the car door, climbing inside before she can do something stupid, like drag him over to the nearest flat surface and have her way with him.
Waiting for Castle to get in himself, she drives off, shifting in her seat nervously as the silence falls around them. He's tense, she can tell by the stiffness of his posture, the way he's staring out the passenger window and refusing to look at her.
Sitting in an awkward silence for a few endless minutes, she suddenly jerks the wheel, pulling over and cutting the engine.
Castle lifts his head from where he's slumping against the window. "Beckett, this is your building."
She ignores him, unfastening her seatbelt and gripping hold of the steering wheel with both hands, chewing her lip as she watches her knuckles turn white. Letting out a shaky exhale, she turns to where he sits beside her, seeing the play of confusion, nerves and frustration flick over his features, and she decides right there and then what she wants to do.
Releasing the wheel, she grabs both of his cheeks, pulling him over to her as she surges up to him, kissing him hard as their lips crash together. He lets out a muffled sound of shock, and he freezes long enough for her to begin doubting herself, before the ice in his veins melts, and he relaxes into her, pulling her closer with a hand to her arm.
God, it's even better than before, the familiar taste blending with the chocolate and hazelnuts of the ice cream he's just eaten, his tongue stroking against hers languidly when she parts her lips for him. His hand starts running through her hair again, tugging at the tangles as he tilts her head, trying to get closer to her.
Attempting to do just that, she inches forward, trying to drag him towards her, but the stupid console between them is making that difficult, so she decides to throw caution to the wind, releasing his lips with an audible smack as she climbs over the seats, straddling him as she moves herself over and onto his lap.
Placing her hands on his shoulders, she takes a moment to pause, breathe him in as they sit there, nose to nose as they pant from the breathlessness they both feel. The blue of his eyes are shining, darkened with arousal, but there's something deeper too, something she's too afraid to think about right now. He lifts his trembling, injured, hand up to her cheek, breathing against her as he tenderly strokes a wayward curl behind her ear, and she turns her head, brushing her lips against the bandage. He lets out a shaky sigh, and she presses her forehead to his and closes her eyes, not being able to resist seeking out his lips again.
Responding eagerly, he begins pecking soft kisses to the seam of her lips before he begins to travel to her chin, smudging his mouth down her neck, right to that spot that makes her knees go weak. She makes a sound that can only described as a whimper at the contact, but she's too lost in the heat of him, overwhelmed by the feeling, to care as he pushes her coat off her shoulders.
He lets out an amused chuckle, asshole, so she drags him back up to her, silencing them both with her mouth, rolling her hips against him as she tugs his bottom lip between her teeth. His hands are roaming her back, gripping her hips to still her movements, and she gently grabs hold of his bandaged right hand, cradling it in her own tenderly, bringing it to her chest as she presses it against the thud of her heart. The growl he responds with only pushes her on, and she runs her other hand down his chest, scratching the material of his button down until she reaches the clasp of his belt.
"Fuck, Kate," he pants into her ear when she pulls away, smiling against his neck as she tugs on his belt, making his hips jerk into hers so perfectly that her eyes threaten to roll back.
She's breathing heavily, so overcome with arousal that she can think of almost nothing but the sound and feel of him. She has enough presence of mind to still his hands when they start fumbling to unbutton her shirt though, squeezing the one with no bandage gently as she holds them in her own.
"Not here," she whispers, biting the lobe of his ear gently, smirking when he groans at her. "Come up."
He releases one hand and grips her shoulder, pulling her away slightly to get a look at her. His hair is rumpled from where she's run her fingers through it, eyes hungry and dark as they roam over her face. "Are you sure?"
She huffs out a laugh. "Castle, if you aren't aware of how sure I am by now, then we need to have words."
"But, Josh-"
"Was not you," she tells him firmly, not breaking eye contact with him. "And hasn't been the one I've wanted to do this with for a long time."
His eyes widen, staring at her in awe, and she blushes under the perusal of his heated gaze.
"You almost died today, Kate."
"So let's reaffirm life."
He chuckles, and she can feel the rumble of his chest from where she's pressed up against him. He's stroking the skin of her cheek so gently that her eyes flutter shut and she can't help but lean into the warmth of him. "Are you always this bossy when you're turned on?"
"Hmm," she hums as blinks up at him, slowly so that her eyelashes flutter in that coy way she knows drives him crazy. "Why don't you find out?"
His eyes widen, and she can't help but grin at him. He darts forward, cradling her cheek as he presses a hard kiss to her, kicking her heart into overdrive all over again. "Lead the way, Detective."
Uh...yeah.
So, this is one of those random things that your brain forces you to write at midnight when you should be asleep. I never really intended to upload it, but I haven't posted in a while because I'm trying to write a mutli-chapter story, so I figured this might do for now (and also because some lovely people on twitter asked me to upload it).
Anyway, apologies for all mistakes I've probably missed!
Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed my brain's ramblings :)