It wasn't until later that he finally found her. She was sitting in front of a small window, one that didn't look out into the back yard full of people, but that was in a room painted purple and had a picture of two very best friends on the bed side table. Her black dress was wrinkled and her heels sat next to her.

He had started looking for her about an hour into the "gathering", but guessed that she didn't want to talk to anybody. He didn't either, but put on his mask and acted like he didn't feel like hundreds of knives were splitting his insides apart. Ever since Friday night he had felt like that, and it progressively got worse. The hardest part was not being able to talk to his best friend.

Figuring she needed some space, he didn't go where he knew she would be, but he got tired of people saying how sorry they were, and how it was going to get better. Somewhere inside of him believed that, but at that moment it seemed a long way away.

Hesitating in the door way, he got a chance to really look at her since Friday night. Of course he knew what she looked like, but somehow he knew her light brown eyes would be cloudier, and her almond colored hair would have lost its shine. There wouldn't be a glow in her poreless skin, and she wouldn't show her beautiful smile at all.

He was right.

He didn't really tell people this, but a lot of times he could just glance at her and know how she was feeling. A lot of times he used that to his advantage, and tried to cheer her up, or laugh with her. He knew that's why they were friends. Sometimes he wanted to be more, but others, he thought he was crazy for wanting something like that.

The old wooden floor creaked as he slowly made his way into the room. Standing beside her he noticed her legs pulled up to her chest and her eyes puffy and red. He had hoped they wouldn't look like that, but ever since Friday night it was inevitable.

"Hey," he said as he sat down on the floor beside her, so monotone he could barely tell it was his own voice.

He didn't look at him, but managed to mutter a soft hey back. He was happy she replied to him, honestly, he wouldn't have been surprised if she hadn't.

They sat in silence for a while, feeling the cool early fall breeze creep in through window cracked only a little. Thick trees covered the large front yard, and covered it with shades of red, orange, yellow and brown leaves. The faint crackle of poeople shoes against the leaves had become normal to everyone, since fall was in full bloom. Autumn was her favorite season, but right then she wished it would snow, and cover everything that reminded her of her best friends. The smell of fallen leaves, pumpkin spices and maple filled the room, blurring his thoughts for only a second before he heard her sniffle sensitively.

Large tears were rolling down her red cheeks just like they were when he saw her standing on the edge of the football field on Friday night. The knives felt sharper inside of him as he watched them fall and soak into her black dress. Instinctively, he pulled her into him and wrapped his arms around her. He hoped that somehow she would feel safe. She curled into him and let his strong arms hold her together. She wouldn't realize it until later, but she knew it felt right. So did he.

"Do you know why she went to his house?" she asked him, her voice hoarse and shallow.

"No…actually, nobody ever told me," he answered, placing his chin on her head as it rested on his chest. Surprisingly, even though her hair looked dull, it was soft and smooth.

She untangled herself from his grip and sat Indian style to face him. She didn't care if she was wearing a dress or not, she knew he wasn't going to pay any attention to that now.

"Nobody ever told you?"

He shook his head as she sniffled and tucked her hair behind her ears.

"He didn't tell you?" she asked again, surprised.

He looked into her eyes. "No, I just thought she had gone home with him after school and was just going to come to the game when the players had to be there."

She looked away and bit her lip as more tears fell without her having to blink.

"All anybody ever told me apart from what I already knew was that the rain was too thick and they lost control," he said to her.

"Tell me what you know," she whispered, leaning closer to him, not wanting to hear the story again, but knowing she needed to so she could know every little detail.

He sighed and looked out the window. Obviously he didn't want to talk about it, but maybe it will help, he thought.

"I saw Grant after school and asked him when we needed to be at the game because I had written down the wrong time. He told me six thirty and then I gave him one of the Mountain Dews I always give him after school that I get from the vendee machine by the gym. So I got to the game at six thirty and wasn't surprised that he was late. I mean, when was he not? But when it got around to game time, and Coach Solomon was worried that our starting kicker was not there yet, I got worried too. Anyways, Jonas had to kick off, the rain was pouring, and the field was muddy, and when we went into the locker room for half time that was when I saw you, but I had turned around for some reason and that's when I saw that Mr. Townsend had gone up to Solomon and they were talking, and Solomon's face got paler than anyone's I have ever seen. I didn't know what was going on, because people in the stands were getting a little restless and the noise from the locker room was louder than normal. Then I saw that you were crying and I knew something bad had happened."

He sucked in the breath he was holding as she played with her blue and yellow string bracelet. He knew it was the one Bex had made for her in sixth grade. ONly then did he notice how close her hands were to his that was holding him up on the floor. He wished he could reach for it, but something inside of him told him it was a bad time.

She didn't look at him when she asked, "But do you know why she was at his house?"

He scratched the back of his neck and took a deep breath.

She took that as a definite no. "Zach, Bex was pregnant."

"What?" he was astonished. Bex was pregnant?

She ran a hand through her hair. "Yeah, she was about eleven weeks. That's why she went to his house Zach, because she needed to tell him."

"Well, why didn't she tell him earlier? Why would she want to tell the best kicker in the state he was going to be a dad before a game?" he found his voice rising.

She looked at him, her face growing softer. "Because," she practically whispered.

"But why before a game?!" he almost shouted. "Didn't she know that it would completely take his focus out of our team and onto her!? There were so many college scouts there! He was hoping somebody would want him so he could go to college next year! Did that not mean something to her?!"

He didn't mean to get mad, he really didn't, but for some reason, talking about Grant and Bex stirred his emotions and this time, they produced anger.

She let his voice die out of the air before she continued. She reall didn't want him to get mad about it all. He wasn't supposed to.

"She had been putting if off since she showed me the pregnancy test. I told her he needed to know but she kept saying she just couldn't tell him yet, so I backed off. But Friday at school I told her enough is enough. It had been almost six weeks since she found out, and it wasn't right that he didn't know. So she said she would tell him that night and I relaxed a little. So around six I went to her house to pick her up for the game, but she wasn't there. I walked to her front door and the whole house looked empty, so I was just going to go ahead and go but I decided to call her just to make sure she would get to the game. But when I called her, I noticed her phone laying in the front yard, and when I hung up, there was a text from a random number that said, Did you tell him yet?"

He studied her, wanting to see the happy girl he saw at school everyday and on the weekends. His stomach turned and he suddenly felt light headed. She was still so beautiful to him, even after the whole weekend of grief and crying.

"What are you saying Cammie?" he asked, still puzzled.

Tears started to fall from her swollen eyes again. She took another large, deep breath.

"Bex was pregnant, but I'm not sure if it was Grant's."