My Husband
Abbey sat in the limo, bouncing her knee and wringing her hands. The President has MS. Relapsing-remitting Multiple Sclerosis. The President has relapsing-remitting MS. Abbey kept repeating different forms of the sentence in her head, practicing the words she would have to say to the anesthesiologist when she arrived at the hospital. She kept repeating the words to herself because it was all she could do to keep herself from bursting into tears or throwing up. Her husband had been shot. Her daughter had been inches away. Her family was in danger. And she was in a limo.
As soon as the car stopped, she practically jumped out. She walked quickly and with purpose. The first person she saw when she entered was Zoey. It was all Abbey could do to keep herself together when her baby fell into her arms.
Once she determined that Zoey was alright, Abbey was back to her mission. The doctor on Jed's case gave her the relevant vitals. The prognosis was good. Very good. As good as could have been expected after getting shot, really. But they weren't out of the woods yet. Abbey knew better than anyone the risks involved with surgery, being a world-renowned cardio-thoracic surgeon herself.
The President has relapsing-remitting Multiple Sclerosis, she repeated to herself one more time as she approached the anesthesiologist. "My husband has relapsing-remitting MS," she told the doctor. She saw the shock in his face, though it probably mimicked the shock she herself felt in that moment. What had she just said? The President has MS. But that's not what Abbey had said. She said my husband. Not the President. Abbey's feelings were getting away from her. She couldn't do this.
Abbey walked away from the anesthesiologist and into the trauma room where they were readying Jed for surgery. She pasted a smile on her face. "I leave you alone in Virginia, of all places, and this is what you go and do?"
Jed smiled. He was in too much pain to engage in proper banter with her, as much as he would have liked to. "Sorry," he said simply.
She sat down on the edge of his bed and took his hand, pressing her lips to it reverently. "You're gonna be okay, Jed," she whispered.
"You bet I am," he assured her. He weakly pulled at her. "Come here," he insisted.
Abbey leaned forward, careful to avoid his injury. "They're going to take you into surgery any second, sweetheart."
"I know. But I have to tell you that I love you. Everything's going to be fine. I know you know that, but I'm the President, and what I say goes." His voice was growing weaker and weaker. He had lost a lot of blood.
Abbey could feel the tears stinging her eyes, but she blinked them away. "Well you gave the order, Mr. President. I'll see you in a while."
He nodded and closed his eyes. The doctors and nurses came in to take him to the operating room. But before they could wheel him away, Abbey gave his hand one last squeeze and kissed his cheek. "I love you," she whispered. She didn't know if he had heard her, because he was wheeled away a second later. But even if he hadn't heard, Abbey knew that he knew. He always knew.
She took a deep breath to calm herself before she walked out of the room. She had to be First Lady now. She could be Abbey Bartlet later. This was more important right now.
But when she walked out, there was a new wave of chaos in the emergency room. Doctors and nurses ran alongside a critical trauma victim. Leo grabbed Abbey's arm and pulled her out of the way. CJ and Sam and Toby all came rushing over.
"Josh," Toby said simply. Everyone looked panic stricken. Sam seemed too shocked to speak.
CJ held a melted icepack on her head. Her eyes darted around, not focusing on anything. Abbey watched her closely, diagnosing her silently. Most likely a concussion.
"Is the President…?" CJ asked quietly.
"He's going to be alright. They just took him into surgery to repair the damage, but he was awake and joking until they took him away. He was lucky," Abbey informed them. Everyone released the breath they didn't know they were holding. Now all their thoughts were with Josh.
Two hours later, Jed was just coming out of surgery. Good news. Josh was still being operated on, and likely would still be all through the night. Not good news. The doctor said he would update them on Josh's condition as got the information, and he told Abbey that she could visit Jed in about an hour or so.
Abbey thanked the doctor and excused herself to the ladies room. She stood in front of the mirror, staring at her own tired eyes. The last seven years had put a lot more age on her. Jed liked to tease her about aging. She didn't mind; she wasn't a very vain woman. Abbey had always found herself to be a very good-looking woman, and as long as she could still turn Jed on, what did she care if she had a few more lines on her face and a few extra pounds around her waist?
But this was different. She wasn't used to this look in her eyes: defeat. And that was something she would never admit. Not to herself and certainly not to Jed. He would never know how the MS and the Presidency, the combination of the two, was slowly defeating her. Because no matter what she did, how much she nagged him and loved him and fought him, there was absolutely nothing she could do to help. Abbey had become a passenger in the journey of his life.
She felt the tears come back, and this time she didn't stop them. Her mind went completely blank as she let herself cry. All the emotions she had fought so hard to stamp down over the last few hours were pouring out. It was all for the best. They could drain out and leave her, allowing her to regain her strength in time to see Jed.
The door to the restroom opened and Abbey quickly wiped her face. CJ Cregg stood in front of her with a heartbroken expression. "Ma'am?"
Abbey took a shaky breath. "Josh?" she asked expectantly.
"No, they haven't told us anything new."
"Oh." Abbey grabbed a paper towel to dry her eyes.
CJ stepped forward cautiously. "You've been in here for a little while, Mrs. Bartlet. Zoey was going to come get you, but I had a feeling you wouldn't want her to see you this way."
Abbey nodded. The tears came back. She hadn't forgotten about Zoey, certainly, but her daughter was yet another concern that Abbey hadn't fully thought about yet.
"Is there anything I can do for you, ma'am? Anything I can get for you?"
"CJ?"
"Yes, ma'am?"
"Just for right now, could you call me Abbey?"
CJ smiled. "Of course."
"CJ?"
"Yeah?"
Abbey's voice hitched in her throat but she choked out the words. "My husband got shot."
CJ took the First Lady in her arms before she fell. "I know, Abbey," CJ said soothingly. "He's fine. He's gonna be fine."
Abbey felt her knees give out beneath her and CJ's long, strong arms hold her up. In that moment, Abbey realized that it had been quite a long time since someone had held her, rather than the other way around.
CJ just kept repeating her words, hoping she was helping. She and Abbey had become rather close over the course of the campaign, but their various duties had distanced them since the inauguration a year earlier. CJ was just glad that she could be a help to her friend when she needed her most.
After a moment or so, Abbey regained herself. She gave CJ a hug and thanked her. "I'm sorry to break down like this. But it's time to get back to work," she said with a deep breath.
"There is absolutely no need to apologize, ma'am."
Abbey smiled. "There it is. Thank you, CJ."
"Any time, ma'am. I'll tell Zoey you'll be right out."
She nodded as CJ left. She ran her hands through her hair, fluffing it up a little. Her eyes had gotten a little of their own back, Abbey noticed. They were red from crying and her makeup had all since run off, but the green of her irises seemed a little brighter and stronger.
Almost as soon as Abbey left the ladies room, a doctor came by to tell her that she could see Jed. She turned to Zoey to take her hand.
But Zoey shook her head. "You go first. I'll go in when Charlie gets back with Dad's stuff," she told her mother.
Abbey nodded. Before following the doctor, she gave Zoey a hug and a kiss on the cheek.
Jed slowly came back to consciousness. Everything was fuzzy and heavy, like there was a fog sitting on top of him. But through the haze, he felt something soft and warm take his hand. And he heard the prettiest voice in the world say his name.
"Jed?" she repeated, seeing him stir slightly.
"Abbey?" His voice was hoarse and groggy.
"I'm here, babe," she said with a smile. "You just got out of surgery. You're coming off the anesthesia now. The doctors fixed you up. You're gonna be fine."
He mumbled something she couldn't hear.
"What did you say?" Abbey leaned in closer to decipher what he was trying to say.
Jed responded to the last thing he heard his wife say to him in as clear a voice as he could muster. "I love you, too."