Life for Me

-

I don't know exactly when it happened—when I stopped thinking of me and started thinking of him. Perhaps it began the first time he saved me. Then again, it might have started the moment I turned the final tarot card. In any event, I gave up the life of me at some point to begin a life of him. Meaning, a life where all my thoughts were about him, every breath I took was for him; my reason for waking, for living was him.

But one day he disappeared. Gone out of my life like the trash the garbage men took away, once a week. Gone like the money I spent and would never see again. Gone like…like…like he was gone.

At first I panicked. Afterward, I searched all his normal visiting spots. I called all his friends, all his enemies. When these efforts proved futile, I panicked some more.

I remember Tails trying to comfort me, telling me that even though Sonic had left, he'd be back soon. I shushed him and told him to go away. I was in no mood for pretty words. My hero was gone and wasn't coming back.

The first days after his disappearance, I sat at home staring at the wall. I didn't eat, I didn't sleep, I didn't even use the bathroom. I just sat there, staring. What else could I do? My whole reason for living had vanished.

One morning, Cream came over. She let herself in with ease; I hadn't locked my doors, seeing no point in doings so anymore. "Amy," she said to me, eyes brimming with tears. "Please don't die."

Die? I looked at her, startled. I may have had no reason to live but, "I'm not going to die," I told her. My voice was low and sounded like a frog croaking to his love.

"But you can't live like this," she said. "If you don't eat, you'll die of hunger. If you don't drink, you'll die of thirst."

My eyes widened. Why hadn't I realized something so simple?

Then I noticed, for the first time, that I was hungry and thirsty. "No," I whispered. "It's already too late." I fainted.

Later I awoke on a hospital bed with tubes attached to me. "You're going to be alright," Vanilla, Cream's mother, told me. "Thanks to Cream we got you here in time." I looked at the tubes, emptiness filling me. Alright? How could anything be alright now that he was gone?

Upon being released from the hospital I went to live with Vanilla and Cream, on a temporary basis. I was given my own room and a set of chores. "Breakfast is at eight," I was told. "Dinner is at five." I asked when lunch was and was told, "We eat lunch whenever."

"Whenever?" I said. "Well what if I decide to eat lunch at eight or five? What then?"

"Well then I guess you won't be eating breakfast or dinner."

After the house rules were laid out, Vanilla took us out for ice-cream—a treat I hadn't given myself since his disappearance. Holding the brown checkered cone in my hand, I stared at the scoop of strawberry ice-cream that rested on top. I stared and wondered about the possibility of enjoying eating it. Sighing, I knew there was only one way to find out.

Bring the cone to my lips, I stuck out my tongue and licked a hearty portion of the strawberry ice-cream. My eyes widened in shock. It was good. No, it was better than good. It was great!

That night, I watched a movie with Cream, while Vanilla went out to play the slots. Sitting on the couch, with a bowl of extra salty popcorn between us, I found that I not only enjoyed the popcorn, but also the movie.

It was strange. For the longest time, I had thought that I'd find no enjoyment in anything if I wasn't enjoying it for his sake. Yet here I was, laughing and having fun; and he was gone.

"Hey guys." Then, as sudden and pleasant as the rising sun, he was back.

Cream, Tails, and I were busy digging holes for our game Six Feet Under when he appeared. He gave a wave and smiled lazily. His legs moved swift and easily, as his feet pattered out a familiar rhythm. He stopped a few feet away from us and linked his arms behind his head. "So what are you guys up to?"

He looked like he'd never been away.

My shovel dropped. "Sonic."