Edward's POV
I clenched my chest, pain aching through me. My thoughts, selfish and selfless, cried out trying to make me listen. The beautiful sky was a gorgeous fade of pink, drifting my thoughts back to her. Bella. My Bella had just amazed me once again. Perhaps amazed wasn't the greatest word to fit around the situation. I could feel my eyes darkening and growls building in the base of my throat. It took everything for me not to yell up to the heavens that wouldn't open up for me. Now Bella was about to be on that list too.
Sweet angelic Bella had just signed off her soul in a vote. The odds were always stacked against me, so why would they soften up to me now? My own family decided for her to welcome damnation. After graduation Bella would become a monster like me. Her soothing warmth would be washed away with ice. The adorable blush Bella wore would never again lighten the mood. Most of all her family would be left in the shadows. Charlie would die lonesome and wondering where he went wrong with his only daughter. Renee would weep and her free spirit would be guilt ridden. Even Bella's petty friends would feel an enormous loss. Even so, how would Bella feel about all of that? Knowing her parents were just planes away, thinking their loving daughter was dead. I couldn't take all that away. Bella says she's strong enough to give that all up. I don't believe her for one second.
Aside from all of that could my fragile Bella even dare to kill innocent creatures to live? How would she cope with human blood? A rebellious stage could cross her path, as it had for me. The fifthly dogs would be angered as well. The Voltouri could whisk her away, for as a human Bella is special, there's no telling what vampire abilities she would gain.
The sight of Bella shrieking in pain, wishing for death even for just three days would kill me. Seeing her reaction to the venom in her hand was awful enough. The beating of her heart would stop, replaced by nothing. Food she craved for would be spat out, tasting like nothingness and to be coughed up.
I couldn't fathom why Bella wanted this. Saying we should be equal never mattered, she was much more. Being together forever sounds amazing yet human feelings change as much as the weather. Yes, Bella would age but in my eyes she was always the most beautiful thing to walk this earth. Human qualities out weighed vampires by far.
It was bitterly ironic. I wanted to be human for Bella, to go to heaven if I ever die. Bella wanted to throw her life away and become a demon. Maybe the grass is greener on the other side.
I thought EDWARD CHANGE BELLA GOD DAMMIT!!! But then I was thinking just that so the two could be together forever, not really realizing what Bella would have to go through. So I basically just hopped on the computer and put this together to make myself understand what Edward was thinking. Really I've written some stories about Bella being a vampire and I always thought "wow… I don't like it…". Just the thought of Bella being a vampire doesn't sound right to me anymore.
This was my first Twilight/New Moon fanfic so please don't flame me and stuffs. I wrote this just for fun XP
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Twilight or New Moon or any of the characters. Those belong to the all powerful Stephenie Meyer. (I LOVE YOU!!! XD)
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Love,
The Bubble Alchemist
Laura