I've started writing for CSI:NY :) It's set from the episode 'Right Next Door'. M&M/Danny & Lindsay... Please R+R. It's work in progress. This goes out to Laura and Katy!!!

I own nothing!! Thank you to Laura for being my beta, she is a wonderful friend, who is an english expert (but not as a job... yet :P) and a grammar freak.

The Lipstick on Your Coffee Cup

Danny sighed as he watched Rikki Sandoval leave his apartment - in his shirt. His salmon-pink shirt was a remnant of their activities the previous night. After Ruben's death, Danny had pulled away from his friend's, only allowing Rikki to come closer, yet now he realised that it was too close. Ruben had died and Danny told himself his instincts as a CSI caused it. He had told Ruben to go home, watching him take the shortcut home. He had run into the bodega, making sure the victim was okay. Little did he know that Lucy Scott had shot Ruben by accident. Little did he know that whilst Ruben was peddling away, he had a bullet inside of him, he didn't know he had died in the alleyway.

He pictured in his mind the very moment he found out about Ruben's death. The morgue. A young child had been rolled in, Danny becoming lost for words as Hawkes dragged him out of the mourge. "Ruben," he whispered to himself. "Ruben," he repeated. Suddenly there was a knock on his door, and a female voice protuuding the silence. It was Lindsay - who was she to him now. He didn't know whether to call her his girlfriend, his ex or his colleague. "I'm comin'!" He shouted as he made his way over to the door, clad in his tight-fitting boxers.

As he opened the door, he greeted her with a quiet "Hey." His voice was hoarse, showing just how much grief he was putting himself through. Closing the door, he followed her as she took a seat on the sofa. "What's up?" He asked, sitting opposite her in the armchair, rubbing his bleary eyes.

"Danny..." Lindsay began, first glancing to the floor, then to him. They had rarely spoken about their relationship, the only conversations they had were about the cases they were working. "I don't know. I don't know what to say." She continued, lost for words as she looked into his eyes. "I fell for you. Where are you now?" She said as he got out of his seat, walking over to the kitchen. "Two sugars." She said as he took two mugs out of the cupboard.

"I'm here Linds', what are you talking about?" He replied, leaning on the counter. "When did I go? Where did I go?" He asked, pouring steaming hot water into the mugs, stirring the coffee with a teaspoon, adding just enough milk. Lindsay raised an eyebrow as she focused on his face, on his eyes. He was tired, exhausted - lonely. He had turned from the quirky, loveable boyfriend from Staten Island, into a degenerated loner who seeked solace in the arms of Lindsay's new enemy - Rikki. She didn't have to ask him about it. She knew as soon as she saw Rikki enter her apartment alone, wearing the very same shirt Lindsay had given to Danny as a gift.

"Why, Danny. Why?" She asked, accepting the coffee as he sighed, resuming his seat. She stared down into the miniature abyss, hoping to drown her sorrows there. She noticed that he didn't, he couldn't make eye contact any more - it was unbearable to see the sadness in her eyes. They both knew she had lost him, but he couldn't admit it. He couldn't admit it was real; He couldn't admit that he had changed, that he was a 'broken man'. That he pushed away the ones he loved the most.

"Why what? The only why I think about is 'Why didn't I make sure he got home safe?", Linds. You know that." He replied, still looking down at the floor, avoiding visual contact with her. He was reluctant to face the music - to get back to reality. To him, the distance between the two sofas wasn't big enough. He wanted Rikki. The one piece he had left of the little boy who would knock on his door at seven in the morning, the little boy who would be on a high at five in the morning, the little boy the he unknowingly watched get shot.

"You think I don't know?" Lindsay retorted. She was doing her best to keep her cool. It had happened two weeks ago, and Danny was still at a loss, blaming himself over and over again. Sometime or other, she had to make him see it wasn't her fault - it was just how cruel life can be at times. "Danny, five minutes ago I was in that hallway. You remember that shirt I bought you?? The pink one?" She asked, getting up and moving herself closer to him. "I just watched her walk from your door to hers, wearing it!" Her voice was becoming louder, releasing the hurt and the anger she had kept bottled up. "I get it. You feel guilty for Ruben dying. I know what that's like. You think I don't regret going into that bathroom when my friends were killed?" She continued, going back over to the sofa to sit on the arm.

"You... You saw... Her?" Danny stuttered finally moving his eyes from the floor, to Lindsay. He saw the hurt, the pain he had caused her. He saw into her eyes. He made the void empty again - the void he had filled long ago. He knew of his doing, Lindsay knew of his doing. Yet he still wouldn't admit it even as she confronted him about it. "Im... Sorry, Linds." It took him all the strength he had just to say the phrase I'm sorry. "I know. But I-I." He continued, pausing to think carefully. "You know I love you. You know I love... I love waking up in the morning, knowing I get to see you. I love your country girl moves and your county girl attitude. I love wiping your lipstick off of my coffee cups when you leave for work. But I... Just can't." He sighed wearily, things had began to fall apart in his life, since Ruben's death.

"Oh yeah?" Lindsay replied, standing up. "Well I don't want to be the girl that puts lipstick on the coffee cups of a guy who can' face up to reality, a guy who can't commit." She told him, before breaking their visual contact, walking over to the front door. "I'll see you at work."

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