Gabriel woke up feeling more than a little irritable.

The curtains were almost closed, but not completely, leaving a sliver of bright light to streak across his face. The smell of the room was starting to bother him too, the pillows he tried to bury under, the blankets, the mattress-

All of it was just adding to his bad mood.

Smelled stale, like him and sweat and spice.

Jack wasn't in bed, hadn't been, hadn't shared his nest since two months ago. Just during his head, a momentary lapse in judgement spurred by a near fatal mission and too much time apart. He wouldn't go as far as to say they were separated, couldn't be divorced if they had never gotten married(his engagement ring had been gathering dust in his desk drawer for over a year now).

The stress had been getting to him, that mission hadn't helped, and when his heat hit early he didn't want to suffer it alone. But he still couldn't get his head around the thought of someone else.

No one else he trusted, not with that, not when he was at his most vulnerable.

Gabriel growled, starting to feel the irritation bubble into anger, fury, knowing there was no point in hiding. He was awake, needed to stay awake, had to get ready for the day.

It was a rare day off at least, time he could enjoy to himself, maybe shake this bad mood.

He finally gave up trying to get comfortable, getting himself up and out of bed instead. He shuffled around the small room; just a standard issue space, like a cracker box, only containing the essentials.

Nothing to make it 'home', because it wasn't. Just a temporary place to be between missions. Sure, it was his more frequented room, but that didn't mean he didn't have others. Bases all across the globe, each one holding far too much baggage.

Worse that he still kept a picture of his mate-

Ex-mate. Correction.

Kept in his wallet, didn't help that he looked at it sometimes when he was out, too far away.

They didn't have much now.

Not since the promotion.

Not since he let his anger, jealousy and bitterness eat up all the love they had shared.

Jack avoided him mostly, and when he didn't, he kept things strictly professional.

It just pissed Gabriel off more.

Morrison, the golden boy.

Always so put together and perfect.

Didn't seem bothered at all when Gabriel had demanded they split up; had just took it in stride, as if he expected it.

It hurt still, even though it had been a year now, maybe a little more than that. Missed birthdays, and a anniversary. There was an ache in him that was bone deep, something he couldn't shake; but whenever he passed Jack, it felt like the alpha didn't feel it at all.

Bathroom had been first on the agenda, turning on the taps to the shower before he brushed his teeth. He frowned around the brush, watching his own reflection in the mirror.

He looked like shit.

Not eating well, not sleeping well.

Shadows like bruises under his brown eyes, his lower belly felt soft, his chest itched. Something to note; not really a symptom, or what he could see in his reflection, though he also had trouble keeping food down. He needed to maintain a hefty diet regime due to his super soldier body, but lately he'd been skirting it, and he'd been feeling the adverse effects.

Even the mint of the toothpaste was bothering him.

He spit before his body latched onto the need to puke. The bathroom smelled sterile, recently cleaned, the steam from the shower cleansing his lungs when he breathed back in.

Maybe he needed a real vacation.

Maybe he needed to get laid.

He dropped his underwear, climbing into the shower and letting it rinse over him. His hair, sodden and heavy fell in his face as he closed his eyes and tipped his head back. The heat felt good, soothing, the water smelt pure and clean, settled him.

Maybe he should find another bed partner.

When he had been younger(before Jack, his mind supplied unhelpfully) he had hardly been shy. Not a virgin when he hit the military, and during his stint at the many bases, he fucked around casually whenever he felt like it.

Only with beta.

Beta were easy, no strings attached, scentless and didn't adhere to the same biological codes. Simple, his plan had always been 'figure things out later'. Gabriel was afraid of committing, didn't like to be pushed around and hardly abided by what someone expected an omega to be.

Gabriel had always been full bodied, muscular, tall-the SEP only enhanced his natural physique. Physically only his wide hips and ample thighs gave way to his gender, but most could hardly believe it.

He was so aggressive, dominating, territorial-

Omega just didn't sound right.

He'd worked the ranks by skill and willpower, becoming a commander a few short years into his service. One of the few omegas even admitted into the SEP.

There he met Jack Morrison and everything changed.

Like a cheesy romantic sitcom.

His rule of 'no alphas' got broken.

The first heat he had ever shared with an alpha, to the first person to ever see him that vulnerable. Jack had bonded him, they hadn't talked about it; it had just happened in the passionate moment between them.

There had been backlash, stigma, but they stuck it out. Together.

Gabriel had believed the blue-eyed pretty boy's croons of 'always and forever'.

He fell in love, he committed, he even accepted Jack's marriage proposal years after they had been bonded.

He was an idiot, still was.

Pining like this, letting Jack use him, letting Jack share in intimacy he no longer deserved.

Bastard took the promotion that had been Gabriel's. Jack knew how much he wanted it, fought for it, had been next in line for it-

But he took it.

Could've declined.

Didn't.

Gabriel growled, feeding that rage, the knot in his belly like a stone; hot, heavy and impossible to ignore.

Ten years they had been together.

Ten fucking years and Jack does this to him.

Gabriel was given blackwatch like a consolation prize. The organization that wasn't even supposed to exist. Full of reformed criminals, almost constantly deployed on clean up missions. Interrogations, torture, murder-

Jack saw the debriefing reports, saw every file to cross his desk, signed off on each mission and never once asked him about any of them.

Strike Commander; sitting pretty behind his desk, so far removed and uninvolved it was painful.

Not just in tactics, but with everything.

Which brought Gabriel back to his original thought:

Maybe it was time to move on.