Stay up With Me.
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A/N: Felt like writing something sad. Loki just seems like he would be an emo, doesn't he?
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Another night of waiting for the sunrise.
Loki didn't even lay down. Why bother? He wouldn't be able to sleep, anyway. He watched that huge light rise over the horizon line, it blinded his face. The sun stung in his eyes, his pupils shrank from their original dilation. His muscles and joints were sore. He never could relax, no matter how much he wanted to.
He knew that is he 'got out of bed' this early, someone would know something was wrong. No one, not even the Allfather, is up with the sun.
He sat there, legs crossed in Indian style, closing his eyes and letting the now welcome sun warm his face from the window.
It was time to start his day anyway.
He moved his extremely sore legs to his vanity, staring in the mirror, counting the flaws. The dark bags lay under his brown eyes, making him look like just what he was. His hair was frizzy. But it was okay. He needed to wake up this early to fix all these things.
He opened a drawer and put out his supplies. The makeup to cover his bags. His hair products. Everything.
He took care of himself, applying his makeup to make him look like his normal self. He combed and brushed his hair down, until it was his signature style. He took care of his hygiene and stretched out his aching muscles. By the time he deemed himself ready, it had been three hours. He looked in the mirror, all hints of his disorder gone. He looked like normal, mischievous Loki. He wore his devious smile for the day as he pressed his ear against the door.
He could hear Odin's and Frigga's voices. They were up and functioning.
Though he heard no traces of it, he knew Thor was awake as well.
He opened his room door and stood in the doorway of his "parents'" room.
"Loki! You are, once again, the last to rise!" Odin said, shaking his head. "You must really work to improve that!"
"Odin!" Frigga said, "There is no need to make him feel that way!"
"No Mother," Loki said, shaking his head. "Father is in the right. I really must work to improve myself."
Frigga's eyes fell. "Loki, you waking at this time is fine."
Odin shook his head.
Loki only shrugged. "Well, I guess it is time for my day to begin."
"Your brother is already in the courtyard, he said he needed to have a word with you. He is probably waiting for you." Frigga advised, stirring her tea.
"I suggest you go now. Do not keep him waiting any longer." Odin said, rolling his eyes.
Loki nodded. "Of course. I will see you later, Mother and Father." Great. What could Thor possibly want? Loki wasn't in the mood for horseplay of any sort. But, if Thor wanted a word; Thor wanted a word. Loki made his way back to the hall, one of his muscles contracting uncomfortably. He shrieked from the sharp pain and held his arm. This lack of sleep had gotten out of hand long ago, and it was annoying to go through this hurt all day long.
Frigga frowned as she heard him. He wasn't all the way down the hall yet, and he was still in sight, so she called to him. "Loki? Is everything all right?"
Loki froze, almost forgetting that they could see him still. "Yes, I am fine." He stretched out his arm, hoping the hurt would go away. It did, at least for the moment.
"Okay..." Frigga reluctantly agreed, letting him walk back down the hall.
Loki met Thor in the courtyard.
He was sitting on a rock in the garden area. The fountain pumped water beautifully behind him. "Brother. We need to share a word." He wore a serious face.
Loki only tilted his head, leaning his back on a rock affront his brother. "Go on."
"Brother, I know your secret."
Loki's eyes widened and he put his head down. "What could you mean?"
"Do not act like you know nothing of what I am speaking of. It is unhealthy for you to not only have the condition, but to hide it and not seek help makes it harder on you, Loki."
"You fail to understand, Thor. It is not that I do not want to sleep...It is that I simply cannot."
"You need to speak with someone."
"I do not want to! I can get through this alone!"
"No you cannot."
"And you would know how?"
Thor was silent. Loki was right, he didn't know what being an Insomniac was like, but he did know that no disease or disorder can be overcome alone. He had went through a similar situation, and he got the aid he needed. Loki failed to grasp the concept of professional help.
Silence fell onto them. They stood there, waiting for the other to say something.
Loki finally spoke. "Do Mother and Father know?" Loki asked him.
"I figured you wanted them not to know."
"You figured correctly."
"You need to tell them, eventually. Father is wondering why your drive and energy is so low, and I know that this is his answer. My only question is this: how long have you been hiding this?"
"Let us look into that...today is...hm. A few months now."
Thor's eyes were as wide as they could get. "Months? You haven't slept for months?!"
Loki nodded. "I've only gotten to sleep once, but I kept waking up."
"I don't understand what could cause Insomnia with you. You are a prince! You get everything you ask for, the best training, and yet you cannot get to sleep?"
"Thor, you get everything you ask for, because you are the favorite! I never got any respect from Father. I do not even know where the hell I came from, who I truly am, or anything of that nature! Everyone likes you better, even Lady Sif, whom I have come to love! But of course I cannot have her1 Why? Because you get everything I desire! I have lived plenty of my life and have nothing to show for it!"
As Loki spoke, Thor pieced everything together. "I think it is because you want to be loved. You figure no one loves you. That makes you stressful, anxious, and upset with yourself. Loki, why do you feel that way? You are loved, whether you see it or not."
Loki just looked at Thor. "Try being me for a day. Then you will understand." He turned and left the gardens, going back into the palace. Thor doesn't have a clue what he's talking about. Loki isn't loved. He's loved by no one...except Mother. But why does he strive so much to please his father, someone who doesn't even care about him? He halted his pace as he stood there, center of the hallway.
The servants moved past him, going about their day.
Loki looked at them all. They must be happy with their lives, their families, their sleep...
He needed to think in his chambers, so he went to go do just that.
...
There was a knock at his door a fair amount of hours later.
"Please leave." He said, loud enugh for whomever was on the other side to hear.
"Loki...open the door. We need to talk, seriously."
Loki sat up. "Fandral?"
"Yes. Now please, open the door."
"I do not wish to speak with anyone."
"What if I told you that I know what you are going through?"
"I would not believe you."
"Why would you not?"
"Because we are nothing alike."
"Not all Insomniacs are alike, Loki Laufeyson."
Loki considered that. It was true...He got up and opened the door, slowly. "What?"
"May I enter."
"We can talk here. You need not enter my room to speak with me."
"Very well, then. Thor told me about your problem, and I came here right away."
"Why would Thor tell you about my problem?"
"Because I was the same way as you, Loki. I was an Insomniac and I did not want anyone to know that. Well, Thor found out and urged me to get help, and I was very reluctant. But I did, eventually. And it did help me, more than anything else would have. Soon enough, I was sleeping."
"So, what does this have to do with me?"
"I came here to talk to you about it. Maybe even stay up with you, to help you get to sleep."
Loki stared at Fandral. Was this really happening. "Stay up with me?"
Fandral nodded.
Loki was strongly against this idea, that is, until he actually thought about it. "When did we even become friends?"
"We can start now."
Loki actually smiled. He has a friend, now.
Somebody who loves him.