BPOV
I woke up from a restless sleep. I was getting married today. But not to who you think. I'm getting married to Darrin Jones.
When Edward left me a year ago, I went crazy. I was a zombie. That is, until Darrin came along. He was sweet the first day at Forks High School. His deep blue eyes and jet black hair stood out from anyone. He wouldn't give up on me and I eventually fell for him. And our relationship blossomed from there.
But then, Alice came back after seeing me jumping off a cliff, thinking I was committing suicide. But really, I was doing it recreationally.
Unfortunately, Rosalie called Edward, who went to the Volturi to commit suicide. Alice and I made it just in time. We barely escaped without confronting the Volturi.
When we got back to Forks, Edward and his family "moved back" and that's when Edward met Darrin. I'll never forget the look in his pain filled eyes when I introduced the Cullens to Darrin as my boyfriend.
But he masked it well after that. Darrin never found out about the Cullens being vampires, which is good. I don't need him sucked into that world.
So, about two months ago, Darrin proposed. He took me out for our year anniversary, and popped the question. And I agreed. When I went to the Cullens' and told Alice and Rosalie, who had became a sister to me just like Alice, they freaked and told the whole family. Including Edward.
Alice and Rose demanded that I let them plan my wedding, so I agreed, knowing not to deny them. I had found Edward in his room later that night, in a horrible state.
*Flashback*
I peaked through the door of Edward's room. He had his head in his hands. Darrin was downstairs with Alice and Rose. I knocked quietly on the open door. Edward's head snapped up and looked at me.
"Can I come in?" I asked, gently.
"Yeah, sure," he said, moving over so I could sit down.
I looked around his room, avoiding his painful eyes.
"You haven't changed your room at all," I said, avoiding the subject.
"There's really no need to," he said, his voice emotionless. I sighed.
"Edward, I'm sorry I'm putting you through this pain. I'm really sorry. But Darrin and I, we love each other. And you're getting your wish. I won't be changed. But it's not like we're never going to see each other again. We can still be friends. A part of me will always love you. But the seventeen year old Bella. Not the nineteen year old Bella. The nineteen year old Bella will love you like a brother. And I wish you would be happy for me and not be in pain," I said, starring in his topaz eyes. So much pain.
"Bella, I'll always love you. But I'm not going to get between you and Darrin. I can see you love him. It's what I intended for you to do when I left, but seeing it up close and personal is much worse than I imagined," he said, avoiding my eyes.
"What do you mean that's what you intended?" I asked confused.
"The day in the woods, when I left, everything I said was a lie. I did it so you could have a chance at a normal human life," he said. I shook my head and stood up. I headed to the door and stopped before leaving, looking at Edward.
"I never said I wanted a normal human life," I said before walking out.
*End of Flashback*
A knock brought me out of my flashback.
"Come in," I called.
It was Alice and Rose.
"Alice, really? I haven't even eaten yet! No Bella Barbie without eating," I said, throwing the pillow over my head. It was yanked off my Rose.
"I've gotten you some food, Bella," Alice said, putting a plate in front of me. It was waffles and I dug in.
"So, Miss Bella, you ready for you honeymoon?" Rose asked, winking. I blushed.
"That's none of your business," I said.
"Oh come on, Bella! You're both still virgins. It's time for you to lose it already!" Rose said.
"Rose, only you would tell me something like that," I said, finishing my waffles.
"Go take a shower!" Alice said, pushing me towards the bathroom.
"Yes, Mom," I said when the door closed.
"I heard that!" Alice yelled through the door. I laughed and jumped in the shower.
When I was done, Alice and Rose were waiting for me. They immediately attacked me with hair products and makeup.
We were having the service at Darrin's parents' house. It was a beautiful house, considering they were filthy rich.
They went on for about two hours, then helped me in my dress. I looked at myself in the mirror, stunned. I was beautiful.
"Aw, Bella! You're so pretty!" Alice gushed.
"Just like a fairytale," Rose agreed.
"Okay, we're going to get ready," Alice said as she and Rose headed for the door.
"Wait, Alice. Is….is he coming?" I asked. She knew who I meant. She sadly shook her head.
"He's still moping in his room," she said. I sighed.
"Thanks, Alice," I said. She smiled and her and Rose left to get ready.
Edward barely had anything to do with me anymore. He would stay up in his room a lot, only coming down to hunt. Those were the rare times I saw him out of his room. I knew it was my fault, but part of me wanted to blame it on him. He left me.
My dream kept coming back from last night. In my dream, I looked like I did now. The wedding was beautiful. All my friends and family were there, smiling at me. But when I got to the end of the aisle, it wasn't Darrin I was saying 'I do' to. It was Edward.
I didn't understand it at all. Was that my heart talking, or was it just suppose to be a nightmare?
My thoughts were interrupted by Renee coming in with Charlie behind her.
"Oh, Bella! You look lovely!" she gushed, hugging me.
"Thanks, Mom," I said.
"You look beautiful, Bells," Charlie said, getting his own hug.
"Thanks, Dad," I said.
Alice came in then.
"It's time!" she said, jumping up and down. "Renee, Esme said you have to go downstairs now."
Renee nodded, hugged me again, then left. Charlie grabbed my arm and we followed Alice out the doors.
My mind kept wandering back to my dream. I started thinking about Edward and what he was doing, but stopped the thought. 'You love Darrin, Bella!' I told myself. But the main question was, did I really?
I didn't have time to dwell on the question because the wedding march started.
"Here we go, Bells," Charlie said, leading me through the doors.
The crowd looked towards us and stood up. I blushed, of course. I saw Carlisle and Esme, Jasper and Emmett all sitting next to Renee. Rose was at the piano, playing music. But no Edward. There was an empty seat where he was suppose to be. I saw Angela and Ben and smiled at them. I saw Darrin's parents, who had fake smiles plastered on their faces. They never liked me. Something about how I wasn't rich.
Then I saw Darrin. He looked gorgeous. He had on a black tux and was smiling at me. But not crookedly, like Edward was in my dream. Oh, shut up, stupid mental voice!
When we reached him, Charlie put my hand in his and we turned to the preacher, who started the ceremony. But I didn't hear a word. My thoughts went to my dream.
All I could think about was Edward and how happy I felt in the dream. How I felt whole, how the hole was gone. But it was gone when I was with Darrin, right? Actually, when I was with Darrin, the hole was still there, just a ghost, but still there. But when I was around Edward, it was gone. Completely gone. Darrin was like a bandage. Covers up the wound, but the wound was still there, hurting. But Edward, he were the stitches. They close up the wounds that are there and heal them forever, but still leave a scar that will never go away. But the scars don't hurt. It's like a memory. I'll never forget the day in the forest, but I could make better memories, that will help keep my mind off the bad memories.
I was so deep in thought, that I almost missed Darrin speaking.
"Do you, Darrin Jones, take Isabella Swan to be your lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, in rich or poor, as long as you both shall live?" the preacher asked.
"I do," Darrin said, smiling. I smiled back. Now it was my turn, but could I do it?
"And do you, Isabella Sawn take Darrin Jones to be your lawfully wedded husband in sickness and in health, in rich and in poor, as long as you both shall live?" the preacher asked me. I froze. Why wasn't I saying anything?
I immediately looked towards the seat, where Edward should be sitting. The empty seat. Then, I realized for the first time since I got back from Italy, that I love Edward.
My heart never belonged to Darrin. It will and forever belong with Edward. That's why I never felt pain when I was with him.
That's what my dream was telling me. I'm meant to be with Edward. I was stupid for thinking I could live without Edward. I sighed. I felt guilty for what I was fixing to do, but it had to be done.
"I'm sorry, I don't," everyone gasped, "Darrin, I love you, but I'm not good for you. I couldn't ever be someone you would want to stay with forever. Because you deserve someone better than me. Someone who could love you back equally. I'm sorry, but I'm not meant to be your wife," I said.
I turned away from his eyes and ran back down the aisle, leaving everyone behind me. I could faintly hear Alice talking.
I threw the doors open and ran down the stairs. I heard someone behind me and turned to see Alice. She tossed me something and I caught it automatically. Her car keys.
"Go get him," she said, smiling. I smiled at her and headed to her yellow Porsche.
I jumped in and sped off to the Cullens' house, to my heart. I broke the speed limit several times, for once, and whipped around sharp turns. It started pouring rain as I pulled up to the house. I could faintly make out a tall lanky figure in the pouring rain. Edward.
He was standing out in the rain, his hands in his pockets, hunched over, staring out at the small stream by the house.
I jumped out of the Porsche and immediately got drenched by the rain. Edward turned to me and froze when he saw me.
"Bella?" he called out, moving slowly towards me. I just stared at him, not knowing what to say.
"Bella? What are you doing here? You're suppose to be at your wedding," he said, closer to me now.
"You weren't there," I said, tears coming down my face. He looked away.
"I couldn't. But that doesn't matter. You shouldn't worry about me being there or not. It's your day, not mine. You should be married by now," he said.
"What do you mean you couldn't?" I asked, ignoring everything else he said. I was ignoring everything around me, the rain, the cold wind.
"Bella, I-"
"Tell me," I snapped. He looked me in the eyes and nodded.
"It hurt too much, to watch you with another man. I know you told me to not feel pain, but I couldn't not feel it. I'll always feel it," he said.
"Why?" I asked, even though I knew the answer. I needed to hear him say it. The rain poured down harder soaking us to the bone.
"Bella, let's go inside. We're getting wet," Edward said.
"Tell me," I said, not moving from my spot.
He looked down. "Because I love you," he said, quietly, I could barely hear him over the rain.
"What?" I asked.
"Because I love you!" he said, louder. "But it doesn't matter now. I'm too late. You're marrying another man and you should be there. Laughing and dancing with your new husband. You should go and have a normal honeymoon, a normal life. Something I could never give you," he said.
"You're telling me to leave? Really? After you tell me you love me, you want me to leave? You're just going to watch me go?" I snapped again, more tears falling down my face.
"You should! I'm not good for you. Darrin can give you things I couldn't even dream I could give you. So yes, go back to him while you still can," he said, turning and walking away. Oh, hell no. We're not about to repeat the day in the forest.
"I left him at the alter," I said. Edward froze and turned back to me, shock written all over his face.
"What?" he asked.
"I left him at the alter. Because I realized, Darrin never had my heart. He never will. My heart will never belong to him. When I'm around him, there's the ghost of the hole that was there when you left. But when I'm around you, it's gone, like its healed. I realized I was stupid and blind and never saw what was in front of me. And what was in front of me, was you. I want you to tell me you love me. I want to be a vampire like you and spend forever with you. I want you to make love to me and not worry about hurting me for once. I want you to be the face I see before I go to sleep each night. I want you to hear your voice telling me you love me. I want to hear your voice for the rest of forever. I want you to be the one who I lose my virginity to. I want you to be the one to hold me when I stand above my parents grave and say goodbye. I want you to be the one to tell me everything will be alright when I feel the world hates me. I want to stay in your arms and never have to leave. I want you to be my husband. I want you to tell me I didn't make a mistake. I want you to kiss me and never stop," by the end, I had even more tears coming down my face, never stopping.
Before I could blink, Edward was in front of me, kissing me. And for once, it felt right. These are the lips I have wanted to feel against mine for so long. This is what I have wanted for a year. This is where I belong.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and jumped up, wrapping my legs around his waist. I felt us flying and before I knew it, we were in his room, standing inches from the bed.
I went for his soaked shirt and started unbuttoning it. When that was discarded, I jumped down and took his hands to the back of my dress. He was hesitant at first, but eventually started undoing the line of pearls.
He moved down to my neck and started kissing and sucking it as he finished the line of pearls. My hands went to his hair and pulled it by the roots.
I stepped out of the dress and Edward pushed me back on the bed. I fell backwards, only left in a lacy bra and panties set. I reached to Edward's pants and unbuttoned them.
Soon enough, after tons of kisses, both our clothes were gone and we were thrown into a whole new experience, filled with passion and love for each other. One we both experienced for the first time together.
It could have been days, hours, years, or seconds, but I didn't care. I was where I finally belonged. And that was right here with Edward.
Edward collapsed next to me, panting. I curled up next to him, intertwining my legs with his and laying my head on his chest. His arms went around my and held me tightly to his cold body. I closed my eyes.
"I love you," I whispered, knowing he could hear it.
"I love you, too. Forever," he said.
"Sounds just right," I mumbled.
"Marry me?" he asked suddenly. I smiled.
"Most definitely," I said, looking up at him. He smiled a huge crooked smile. For once in the past year, he didn't have pain filled eyes, but love filled eyes.
"Change me?" I asked. He smiled wider.
"Most definitely," he said, kissing me.
This is exactly where I belong.
Four months later
I was bent over the toilet, puking my guts out.
"Bella, I swear if you get any puke on that dress, I'll kill you! You already ruined one with your stunt four months ago, but if you ruin that one, you'll never live to see your own wedding!" Alice yelled through the door.
"I won't Alice, I promise," I said.
"Come on! It's almost time! You don't want to keep Edward waiting!" she yelled.
"Give me ten minutes, Alice!" I said, getting up. I quickly changed my mind so she wouldn't see what I was about to do. She groaned and I heard her walk off.
I opened the drawer where I had hidden what I bought last night. I pulled out the pregnancy test and opened it.
The past four months have been wonderful. The Cullens were happy about me and Edward being together again. Alice and Rose got to have fun because they got to plan another wedding. Just days after I left Darrin at the alter, I called him and met up with him for lunch so I could explain and apologize the right way. He understood everything and I learned that he was going back to his hometown where his once love, was waiting for him. We said our goodbyes and sometimes call and catch up. I had just talked to him three days ago and learned he was engaged again.
After that day four months ago, Edward and I have been inseparable, barely coming out of Edward's room. Charlie and Renee were a little shocked that I went back to Edward, but supported me through everything.
But these past three weeks have been a little weird. I've been throwing up every morning and Alice complained about how I need to stop gaining weight because she's had to alter my dress three times already. And last night, I looked at the calendar while Edward was out at his bachelor party with Emmett and Jasper, and noticed I've missed my period.
So with a quick decision, I drove to the nearest drug store and bought a pregnancy test. I didn't have time to take it last night, for Alice called and said I better get in bed, and I didn't have time this morning because Alice and Rose have been playing Bella Barbie with me all day. It was very hard to keep my eyes off the drawer I had stashed it in while they were fixing me up.
I paced the tiny bathroom, waiting for the three minutes to be up. It seemed like it took three days rather than three minutes. When it was up, I ran to the counter and flipped the tiny test over. Positive. Tears came to my eyes a small sob escaped my lips. I was pregnant with Edward's baby. I smiled.
"Bella? You better not be crying! You're going to ruin your makeup!" Rose shouted through the door. I wiped away a few stray tears and hid the test in the drawer, then opened the door.
Alice and Rose were sitting there in the dark blue bridesmaids' dressed, looking beautiful.
"Sorry, just the nerves," I lied. Please don't see through it.
"Okay. Well, it's time. I hope your not thinking being the runaway bride again," Alice said, smiling. I smiled.
"Never," I said.
"Girls, you ready?" Charlie asked, poking his head in.
We nodded and got our flowers. Alice and Rose were my bridesmaids, Esme offered to play the piano. Charlie took my arm and we headed down the stairs.
"Okay, Bella, count to ten then, follow us," Alice said.
"Wait," I said. I reached over to a piece of paper and pen that was sitting on a table and scribbled down two words. Alice, Rose, and Charlie looked at me weird when I tucked it in my hand.
"Okay, I'm ready," I said.
The music started and Alice and Rose started down the aisle. I counted to ten and started down the stairs after them. I didn't look up until my feet were both off the stairs. I immediately looked up, searching for him. When I found him, his face broke out into a smile and mine did, too. It was hard not to sprint headlong down the aisle towards him.
When we reached him, Charlie put my hand in his. As soon as my hand met his, I dropped the little piece of paper in his hand. The preacher started and Edward looked down to read the note. I'm pregnant, was written on the tiny paper. When he looked back up, his eyes held so much love, I thought I would faint from it.
We said our vows and when the time came, we each said the words that would bind us together forever.
"I do," Edward said. Tears fell down my face.
"I do," I said. He smiled, which caused me to smile.
"I now pronounce you husband and wife. Edward, you may kiss your bride," the preacher said. Edward took my face in his hands, extra careful now, and kissed me gently.
My arms immediately went to his neck, throwing my bouquet with me. He pulled away and laughed lightly.
"I love you," he said.
"I love you, too," I said.
His hand slowly slid down to my stomach and kept it there. My hand went over his.
"And I love our baby," he said.
I smiled and kissed him again. This is exactly where I belonged. Forever.