A/N: I apologize, but I had major WB on One Step Beyond, & I was uber bored. Plus I'm gonna be gone like all next week so I wanted to post this so CERTAIN PEOPLE didn't track me down skin me alive e-e" You see, it might be a bit traumatic for my cousin. Either that or she'd burst out laughing. But whatever.
Everyone except Mrs. Stephens (teacher,) Mr. Kraft (principal,) Watari, & the task force are, like, 12-14 in this. HOORAY FOR THE MAGIC OF FFs! :D Oh, Edward & Alucard are whatever age they are too... (...spoiler :/)
EDIT: Also, QueenOfAshes wanted me to make a note that we brainstormed a little together on da phone before I wrote this, & that she may have come up with a few of the ideas used in this fic. So if she uses any of them in hers, she's not "stealing" ;P ...so yeah. Give her some credit, people.
Mrs. Stephens: blah blah blah science crap blah blah blah
Mr. Kraft: Hey yeah sorry for interrupting your class but we've got a shitload of new students & this is the "smart class" & they're all either geniuses, dumbasses, or super old so they're in here.
Mrs. Stephens: ...But we've already got like 30 students...
Dexter: 34 :D
Everyone: STFU DEXTER
Mr. Kraft: Yeah I know... BAI. *walks away, revealing new students*
*Watari, Soichiro, Aizawa, L, Mello, Matt, Near, Matsuda, Takada, Light, Misa, & Mikami walk in, in that order*
Jacqueline, Mallory, Ashley, & Ariel (me): *LE GASP*
Aiden: Oh god... Please don't tell me those are...
Ariel: STFU AIDEN OF COURSE THEY ARE :D *starts stabbing Aiden with my pen*
Mary: Who the hell are they? *trollface*
Jacqueline: WE KNOW WHO THEY ARE :D *points to Watari* That's Watari. He's oldddddddddddddddddddddd.
Watari: WTFLOL.
Ashley: *points* That's Soichiro. His mustache will kick your ass, so beware.
Soichiro's mustache: MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA 8)
Ariel: That's Aizawa & his CANNIBALISTIC AFROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Aizawa's afro: *to Soichiro's mustache* Yo, what up?
Soichiro's mustache: Meh, just Chuck Norrising some 3 year old.
Aizawa's afro: Cool. *eats Ukita's dead body*
Jacqueline: That's L, also known as Good Noodle, Sad Panda, & L-Kitten :D
L: WTFH I'm not called any of those O.o
Ariel: YEAHYOUARE & that's Mello, also known as Tinkerbell-
Mello: *drops chocolate bar* WHAT THE FUCK?
Ariel: Marshmello-
Mello: *eyetwitch*
Ariel: & Mels :D
Mello: ...
David: Hehe, he looks like a girl-
Jacqueline, Mallory, Ashley, Ariel: NO DAVID. BAAAD DAVID.
Mello: *shoots David*
Ariel: & that's Matt *points* A.K.A. Matty & Cuddleboy
Matt: *looks up from DS* wait WHAT?
Mallory: & that's Near... *point* MR. WHITE FLUFF, THE SOCK SHEEP
Near: *looks up from making MelloxMatt yaoi with his hand puppets* ...w.t.h.?
Jacqueline: THAT'S MATSUDA, AKA MATSOOOO-CHAN :D
Matsuda: LOOK I'MA TRAIN CHOOO CHOOOOO *train motions around classroom*
Ashley: ...*point* That's Takada. She's a whore.
Takada: I do not belie-
Jacqueline, Mallory, Ashley, Ariel: STFU TAKADA NO ONE CARES
Jacqueline: *points* & that's Misa! She's me only slutastic! :D
Misa: OMG I love your shirt!
Jacqueline: :D & I love your hair!
Light: Hey don't I get an introduction?
L: You don't like being ignored, therefor you are childish and indeed Kira.
Light: BULLSHIT DX I am not Kira!
Mallory: ... Nope. You're Kira. L, he's Kira. So's Misa. & Mikami. & Takada.
Light: WHAT THE FUCKING HELL MALLORY? ...And why do I know your name? O.o"
Ashley: EVERYONE LIGHT IS KIRA! KIRA IS GODDDDDD! Oh & that's Light ^-^ *points*
Jacqueline: & L IS JUSTICE! ...OR THE OTHER WAY AROUND, IT'S COMPLICATED!
L: ...
Ariel: Oh & that's Mikami :D He haz epic hair... & a lazarrrr pen. :D
Mikami: *to Light* GOD? :D
Rachel (an 8th grader): *runs into our class from her classroom* OMG NEAR I LOVE YOUUUUUUUU *glomp*
Near: O.O WTFH DX
Hannah (another 7th grader not in our class): *runs in* :D ...wait, no BB? D:
BB: *walks in behind her*
Jacqueline, Mallory, Ashley, Ariel, Hannah, Rachel: :DDDDDDDD
Hannah: 'TIS BB! OR JUST B! OR BEYOND BIRTHDAY! OR BEYOND! OR RUE RYUZAKI! :DDDDDD
BB: O.o
Max: *is making origami knives... in the middle of class. Yeah, he does that.*
BB: Can I have one of those? 8)
Max: *childish voice* They're 50 cents :3
BB: D:= GIVE IT TO ME
Max: D: NO D:
BB: ...*takes it & laughs creepily*
Max: DDD':
Mia (another 8th grader): *walks in* *Brittish accent* Thi' i' awesum, eh chaps?
Madison (follows her in): L :D I HAVE A PLUSHIE OF YOU :D
L: e-e"
Mia & Ariel: *fighting over Mello & Matt*
Mello & Matt: ...
Zack (who lived in Japan for like 5 years): *to Light* Hey... Have I seen you before?
Light: O.o um...
Jacqueline: ROSEMARY! You know Light? He's from Death Note, it's an anime! :D
Zack (yeah. we call him Rosemary.): ...I see.
Matsuda: *pulls the little shower-pull thing, which has words on it that read "PULL IN EMERGENCY"* *pretty much gets a shower... a cold one.*
Mrs. Stephens: *eyetwitch* Honey, sweetie, sugar, darling, pumpkin, dear...
Jacqueline: OHHHHH SHE JUST CALLED YOU PUMPKIN & DEAR! You might as well just move your little butt over to the Corner of Scienceeeeeee *points to Tanner's practically permanent seat*
Tanner: :D I'M FREE
Kendall: No. *looks at him for twenty seconds without blinking*
Tanner: WTF? ... *bursts into flames*
Light: *just finished explaining Death Note to Anna*
Anna: So none of you are gay lovers?
Light: -.- No.
Anna: You sure?
Light: T.T Yes.
Anna: Certain?
Light: *facepalm*
Matsuda: ZOOM NOW I'M AN AIRPLANE :D *leaving puddles everywhere*
Edward: Hey look at me I'm a real vampire! :D
Alucard: *shoots him* Damn pixies. *walks through the wall & off campus*
Mrs. Stephens: *spontaneously combusts*
Zack: So, Hey, Misa...
Jacqueline: DDDDDD: WTF? WEEKEND PEDOPHILE? ARE YOU THE FULL-TIME PEDOPHILE NOW? (long story.)
Zack: DX ONLY ON WEEKENDS!
Randy: what...the...hell...
Ashley: STFU Randy go have gay sex with Dexter or something
Dexter & Randy: *start exchanging weirdly gay glances*
Aizawa's afro: *starts nomming on Mary*
Mary: DX HELP ME!
Everyone: *doesn't help her*
Ariel: See, Jackie-chan Dryer-kun? I TOLD YOU AFROS EAT PEOPLE!
Jacqueline: YOU ALSO SAID YOU WERE PROTECTED BY DEATHICORNS!
Ariel: That's because I am! D:
Jacqueline: That's ridiculous, Sebastian! Falcon, what do you think?
Mallory: *eyes the purple jacket I always wear* I see you're wearing your green jacket again, Sebastian.
Ariel: That I am, Falcon.
*ten seconds of silence*
Mia: HEY BITCH I'M STILL ARGUING WITH YOU~
Ariel: MATTY & MARSHMELLO ARE MINE BITCH~
Mia: NUUUUUUUUUH~
Matt & Mello: O.o o.O
Misa: HEY LIGHT~
Light: DX BACK OFF SLUT
Mallory & Ashley: LOL!
Misa: DDDDDD:
Mallory & Ashley: LOL!
Light: IT'S LIKE YOUR VOICE REPELS ALL INTELLIGENT THOUGHT! DX
Mallory & Ashley: LOL!
Misa: DDDDDDDDDDDDD':
Mallory & Ashley: LOL!
L: That was a very mean thing to do, Light. Kira is mean. Therefor, Light is Kira.
Mallory & Ashley: LOL!
Light: That's preposterous! I am not Kira!
Mallory & Ashley: LOL!
L: Nope, nope, you're wrong. Just sit there in your wrongness and be wrong.
Mallory & Ashley: LOL!
Dexter: So, Hey Misa... I really like your skirt, & I was wondering if-
Jacqueline: DEXTER YOU PERV! Go back to being gay with Randy!
Dexter & Randy: *exchange more gay looks*
Hannah: HEY BB :D Who you stabbing?
BB: I think his name was Brendan...
Hannah: :O ... :D
Randy: ... 'bout time.
Dexter: Hehe, that's what you get for being curly fry head :)
Dexter & Randy: *go back to their gayness*
L: OHNOEZ THE CUPCAKE IS BLEEDING!
Ashley: OHNOEZZZZZZZ-
Jacqueline: ZZZZZZZZZZ-
Mallory: ZZZZZZZZZZZZ-
Hannah: ZZZZZZZZZZZZ-
Rachel: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ-
Ariel: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ-
Mia: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ-
Madison: ...no. I refuse.
L: D:
BB: *has been singing Blood by MCR* ...Blood, Blood, Gallons of the stuff, I gave you all that you could drink and it has never been enough I gave you Blood, Blood, BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOD-UH, I'M THE type of human wreckage that'cha love DUN-dun ;)
Ariel: :DDDDD
Eva (another 8th grader): *pops in* OMG MCR! :DDDDD
Ariel: IKR?
Mello: ...Suddenly I wish I could disown all other MCR fans.
Matt: *nodnod* *doesn't look up from DS*
Watari: WTF is going on, eh? LOL
Soichiro: IDK, LOLOL.
Aizawa: Liek, ROFLMAO!
Madison: O.o why are you using txt talk?
Watari, Soichiro, & Aizawa: RMFAOSHRNDJSOLOSHFW!
Matsuda: OH! I can do that too! dskfjdshafjsdhf fhdsjfgsdgfd dfdgf74 dfhds, fdsgfdgfwe!
Kendall: Spam.
Jacqueline: OMG MATSUDA YOU'RE ADORABLE!
Watari's mustache: L337 $P34K!
Near: CHOCOLATE IS AWESOME
Mello: I LOVE ROBOTS
Matt: SMOKING IS BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH
L: CAKE SUC- WAIT, WTF? DDDX
Light: WTF IS GOING ON? DX
Ryuk: Ah, that's simple. This is a fanfiction, and so everyone is extremely OOC. Humans are so... interesting.
Sidoh: I WANT MY NOTEBOOOOKKKKKK DX
Ryuk: SHIT *flys off*
Jesus: What has my dad done?
God: HEY, HEY, I'm sorry. Satan gave me some weed, & things just kinda went downhill from there...
L: God, you're a druggie? D:
Mikami: *to Light* Kira... ur a druggie? D:
Soichiro: Light, you're a druggie? ):= TO YOUR ROOM!
Jacqueline: LIKE FALCON!
Mallory: HEY YOU'RE THE ALCOHOLIC!
Jacqueline: IT WAS APPLE JUICE NOT BEER! DX
Ariel: ... :D
Well it was a sunny day & I was riding my bike & I was smoking a joint 'cause THAT'S WHAT I LIKE
Everyone: o.o"
Ariel: And along came a police man to stop and stare and he said "HEY SONNY WHATCHA SMOKIN' THERE?"
Everyone: o.o""
Ariel: And I said
"HEY it's a reefer day, do ya want some, police man? It's a reefer day, ya want a blast? It's a reefer day, ya want some police man? OR WOULD YOU RATHER ME SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS?"
Everyone: o.o"""
Ariel: Well he put me in his car & we left my bike & he took my reefer which HE QUITE LIKED
Everyone: o.o""""
Ariel: We got to the station & his eyes were all red & the Sergeant said "Constable you've gone OUT OF YOUR HEAD!"
Everyone: o.o"""""
Ariel: He said
"YEAH! It's a reefer day, ya want some Sergeant? It's a reefer day, ya want a blast? It's a reefer day, ya want some, Seargeant? OR WOULD YOU RATHER ME SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS?"
Everyone: o.o""""""
Ariel: Well he suspended the Constable for his little joke & he went to the bathroom to HAVE A LITTLE TOKE
Everyone: o.o"""""""
Ariel: And when he got back and rolled another eight, and they were being passed around EVERY COPPER IN THE PLACE~
Everyone: o.o""""""""
Ariel: Well I sold them two ounces, and one sixteenth, And they rolled the biggest joint THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN~
Everyone: o.o"""""""""
Ariel: And they sang
"HEY! It's a reefer day, ya want some, mindless, It's a reefer day, ya want a blast? It's a reefer day, ya want some, mindless?
Thanks for your company & thanks for the grass!"
Everyone: o.o""""""""""""
God: OhdearKira, what HAVE I done? .-.
Jesus: ...
Matt: SHIT What the hell Luigi? What dipshit in here was I playing with just then? WHO JUST PUSHED A MARIO OFF A FRIGGIN CLIFF?
Josh: ... *raises hand* ...
Matt: *glare of death* *starts smoking*
Ashley: DON'T DO THAT THERE'S SMOKE ALARM THINGIES DDDDDX
Smoke alarms: LOLOL WE'RE LOUD LOLOL REEEEEEEEEEEEWR REEEEEEEEEEEEEEWR REEEEEEEEEEEEEEWR
Sprinklers: LOL! Cold shower time! Courtesy of Matt! *cold showers*
Matt: My cigarette went out! D:=
Everyone: -_-"
Jacqueline, Ashley, Ariel: THE FANGIRLS CRY & POUT!
Matt & Mello: O.o
Mallory and Aiden(recovering from stab wounds): Oh no...
Jacqueline, Ashley, Ariel: Dead Matt, Dead Matt, Dead Matt, He's dead!
Matt: WTF DX
Jacqueline, Ashley, Ariel: Now Matt's good buddy Mello,
Is sorry his friend died,
But he's still got Takada and a SWEET-ASS-RIDE!
Mello: Damn straight.
Jacqueline, Ashley, Ariel: His plan is still in motion,
There's no way Kira can hiiiide,
HE WILL DEFEAT NEAR THE GOAL'S AHEAD
Mello: :)
Jacqueline, Ashley, Ariel: OH NO!
She's got a death note, now he's dead.
Mello: WTF? DX
Everyone: o.O"
Random chair: SIT ON ME! :D
L: O.o
Paper airplane: ZOOM SOMEHOW THE WATER ISN'T WEIGHING ME DOWN! :D
Matsuda: FRIEND! :D
Light: o.O
Jesus: ...ohjeevas...
Matt: WTF why is Jesus using my last name?
Mello: *shrug* *noms chocolate*
Watari: I'M HERE TO BREAK UP WHATEVER WAS GOING ON!
. . .
:D
Paper airplane: HEY HEY HEY LOOK AT ME! OPEN ME UP!
Near: *opens it up, revealing M&M kissing* I knew it.
Mello: WTF? DX WE WERE HIGH! & WE WERE DARED! *shoots paper*
Bullets: YO YO YO, we gonna DESTROY you paper, we gonna DESTROY you in da name of da Mello!
Paper: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO D'X
Mello: *blows shit up*
*shit happens*
*chaos ensues*
*everyone's dead*
-later-
*everyone's not dead?*
Ariel: Hey Mom :/
My Mom: How was school today?
Ariel: Same old same old :/
DA END.