This is my first fanfic. Please please PLEASE comment. If people like it so far, I'll continue it. sorry for any mistakes.
It was three AM by the time Bella stumbled through the door of her house, the moon fading as the night drew to an end. She was exhausted, and she was angry. She slammed the door behind her, not caring if she disturbed Charlie or not. The old door let out a groan as the it smashed against the frame, but Bella didn't notice. Another long, unsuccessful night, and she wouldn't even be able to sleep in. She still had to attend school, and that started at the ungodly hour of seven AM: six hours too early for Bella.
Head pounding, eyes aching from the lack of rest, she drug herself upstairs. A dull amber light still shone from beneath Charlie's door, and Bella wondered briefly if she ought to go and talk to him. She had seen very little of her father these past few days, and she felt a tinge of regret over leaving him alone so often. In the end though, fatigue won out, and she turned down the darkened hallway that led to her room. Her father would understand. Well, as much as anyone could understand Bella.
Showering was also put off for the night. Though she stunk of sweat and dirt, she was simply too tired to stand up for even five more minutes. Looking down at the tattered remains of her t-shirt, she decided her clothes were ruined already, so she hastily ripped them off, tossing the remaining scraps off to the side carelessly. She felt as though she were burning up, so she crossed a night gown off her list. She just needed sleep, and it was only seconds from the time her head hit the pillow to when she slipped from reality into the dream world.
Not that reality made anymore sense.
She wasn't fast enough. It was as simple as that. Her heart beat sporadically, her lungs heaved as she panted heavily from the strain of running. The thick coat of fur that covered her body was slicked back by the wind as she raced blindly through the darkness, running, yet going nowhere. Where her arms had been, two more legs had taken their place, making her faster than the helpless human she sometimes was. Still, it was not enough. Her feet drug along the ground, as if weighed down by heavy chains. The trees around her blurred into a mesh of brown and green, their shapes distorted by the shadow that clung to them. The moon above was gone, swallowed by the blackness that hissed words she couldn't understand. All she could do was run. Run. But she wasn't fast enough. Couldn't escape. And all the while the darkness was closing in around her, pressing in until there was no ground beneath her anymore, no sky above her or trees beside her.
There was nothing.
The screech of her ancient alarm clock shook Bella awake, last night's aggravation returning in full force as she literally punched the clock, eliciting a crunching sound and then silence. She wasted no time putting her dream out of her mind. Nightmares were something she was used to now. And this one she had gone through countless times. She rolled over, willing the clouds to snow in September. But of course, it was rain that pattered softly against her windows. It was always raining in Forks. Just another thing Bella hated.
Her morning routine was perfected to a measly fifteen minutes in order to let her sleep as much as possible. Today, however, she had to make up for the shower she skipped out on last night. She leaned against the wall, eyes straining to stay awake as the hot water washed away all traces of her late night activities. Though she was grateful for the refreshing feeling the water gave her, Bella was now running late, and had to skip breakfast if she wanted to make it to school on time. Her beat up truck groaned to life as she turned the key, put it into reverse, and slowly made her way towards the high school. The cars of her classmates raced by her, as apparently none of the other teenagers in town cared about the speed limit. Whether it was her police-chief father or her own conscience, Bella always chose to drive at the designated speed.
The parking lot was nearly full by the time Bella's truck wheezed it's way into the student lot. The truck pulled into one of the last parking spaces and shuddered to a stop. While most of the student body had long ago gotten bored with mocking Bella's stone-age method of transportation, some still snickered as she heaved against the door to make it shut, nearly destroying the old truck in the effort. She didn't give a damn what the other kids thought. Bella loved that old junker, for reasons she didn't even know.
She shoved her way through he throng of students, doing her best not to snap at the boys who refused to move out of her way quickly enough. Bella little tolerance for anyone at that stupid school. She had moved to Forks only a few months ago, and already she had decided that most, if not all, of the students here were typical hick idiots. They were all so self-absorbed, completely unaware of the other universe that mingled unnoticed with their own.
But Bella knew.
Bella lived it.
Pushing the dark thoughts from her mind, Bella finally reached her destination: her science class. As boring as the class usually was, what with her teacher's tendency to ramble and Bella's general distaste for science in general, there was one thing that made this class tolerable.
Edward Cullen.
He was undoubtedly handsome. One could even call him beautiful. His rusty brown hair, perfectly fair skin, and piercing green eyes made him the fantasy of almost every teenage girl in Forks. And while Bella considered herself to be anything but akin to the other girls here, there was something about Edward that she found…interesting. Maybe it was the way he held himself above the image everyone projected of him: the hot, muscular jock who could have any girl he so desired. Or perhaps it was the fleeting glimpses of sadness Bella saw in his eyes. She wondered what a boy like that would have to be sad about.
Realizing she was drifting into daydreams, Bella shook her head, silently chastising herself. Don't kid yourself. She thought angrily. Edward will never, ever want you. Who would want you? Bella shook her head again, and tried to focus on what the teacher was saying. Something about cells and their division. Giving up on that as well, she turned her attention to the girl sitting opposite her. Jessica, the girl who was so depressingly obsessed with that meathead Mike Newton. Bella rolled her eyes as she thought of the cocky, over-zealous football player who'd tried to "hook-up" with Bella numerous times. As if she could find anything in common with that pig. But Jessica seemed to find something desirable about Mike, though what it was Bella couldn't place. Maybe she just wanted to be popular, too.
Try as she might, Bella's thoughts continued to drift back to Edward.
Maybe he'd like you because you're different. Maybe he'd find it…exciting.
Exciting? Would it be EXCITING when he was dead, and you were to blame?
No. Edward Cullen could never be hers. He deserved much, much better. She wasn't the girl of his dreams.
She was a monster.