Author Notes: This is my first fic. I wasn't going to upload it at all, but I figured, why not. It can't hurt. So I have more, but I'm gonna try to do a lot of chapters and upload them at intervals.

This is a Yuna x Seymour, AU. It's kind of like, if they took a little (reeeeeally long) turn in between the wedding. I don't FFX or any part of it... or very much really. Anyway. It's all in the perspective of Yuna (for now.) Rated T. Spoilers!

Oh I put a song in there to listen to during that part. Idk if I'll do that more or not.

I tired to remember all the thoughts I had of him…

The first time I saw him, our eyes met, holding gazes for a moment. That wasn't uncommon, to happen, to feel a connection with someone upon first meeting, or even later. But on Spira, such things are… trivial. Meaningful moments are painful, as anyone can be taken away at any moment. You learn not to forge things too deeply. You learn not to put too much weight on an instant connection. Most of the ones that exist are from childhood, from surviving an attack together… family, friends that become family, like Lulu and Wakka and Kimahri.

Of course after that, we were chasing rumors of Auron, who we found when fiends attacked. And it was his aeon that defeated them all.

I didn't see him again until Mi'ihen. We had been hearing about the operation for the last few days, more and more as we got closer, until now. We were at the road block, unable to proceed.

This presented a lot of conflicting emotions, conflicting priorities.

First and foremost, my priority was the pilgrimage, always. This was obviously impeding my progress to Djose temple. Of course, it wouldn't take long; they were even saying they may be ready today. What was a day? That's how long it took me to even become a summoner. The world waited a day, for that; waited seventeen years, for that; waited a thousand years… Auron was the one who mostly pushed us to hurry. Of course he was speaking for all of Spira, speaking the things that most didn't have the words to say.

Secondly, the hope and anxiety about the success or lack there of for the operation. Some were optimistic, refusing to even acknowledge the possibility of failure. Others were anxious, afraid. And if they fail, the delay to the pilgrimage was… (not for nothing… but…)

Thirdly, the need for me to be support. If my summoning could help, or Yevon forbid my healing… shouldn't I be there?

Fourthly, a plain old gut feeling that I should be there, maybe that something was going to go wrong?

Despite all of that… despite what my priorities should be… talking to Seymour, one thing, one feeling was pushing its way to top of the list. Talking with him, something inside me knew that I could persuade him, with a tilt of the head, a pop of my hip, a softness to my voice…

That wasn't like me. I mean it wasn't like, Lulu, sexy and sultry, it wasn't like Dona, aggressive and confident, it was like ME… it was Yuna, Yuna's way of expressing myself, my personality coming through, confident, instead of being partially hidden by teachings or social norms. It was like me… but it wasn't like me. And it was gone then, back behind the smile, the manners, the respect. And all of my priorities were back in their proper positions.

I thought I saw his lips curl up, more so than the permanently affixed slight curve they have to a pleasant polite smile; and his head incline to look straight at me. It made me feel, friendly, like we were friends, not like he was so so high above me. And for a moment I had to remind myself of my manners, to thank him appropriately, to bow. I thought for a moment then, what my feelings were. It felt like a stone in my belly, pulling me down to somewhere I knew was bad, but wanting to just let it be. It was pleasant in a way, unpleasant also. Not at all like how Tidus made me feel, light, airy, happy. With him I couldn't help but be happy, like it surrounded me, clouded me and lifted me up into the sky where it's all blue and sunshine. The way he makes me feel is wonderful, nothing about it is bad. It's the other feelings, from other people, from Spira, that pause me, that make me wonder if I should get so attached…

Lulu had to pull me out of it.

Then we were going forward, listening to his speech to motivate the Crusaders.

By then, the weight of the operation was getting to me. The air was stale and dusty, morbid and hopeful anticipation clouded the air like the pressure before a collapse. I tried not to get my hopes up, because it is dangerous to do so before seeing the result, but I can't help but hope, a little… and with a little hope comes a little worry and the feelings got heavier and heavier until I was going along with the church's use of machina during the operation. That wasn't like me. I told myself it was the weight of the situation, the church's involvement…

But here and now, I wanted to believe it was something else…

He approached us at Mi'ihen, he always looked so serious when he was walking towards me, always seemed like he was walking towards me.

The speech he made to us, to Wakka then, he argued honorably for the use of machina, for the people of Spira, and their pure hopes being so important. And he shocked us all with his apathy at the end. Of course it was… I wouldn't have said this at the time, or even thought it, out of respect, but it was arrogant, or maybe just disrespectful. Maybe he was impatient, Wakka did sort of repeat himself. It was unbecoming, but it also lowered the stone for some reason, deepening the confusing kinship I felt for the Maester.

We ran into Luzzu and Gatta after that. We discovered that Luzzu had encouraged Chappu to join the Crusaders, which upset Wakka and Lulu. I wanted to comfort them… but they were the only ones in the world who wouldn't let me. Anyone in Spira would look to me for comfort, for no other reason than my intentions to save them all. But Lulu, she put her hands on my shoulders and told me how proud she was of me, for my heart. It turned out to be her comforting me. After that, I didn't want to try with Wakka. He was more talkative at times, but somewhere in the middle had the urge to tousle my hair or hit my shoulder.

But I'm getting off track. I'm trying to think of this for a reason. And I don't have all the time in the world.

At the command center, Auron and Kinoc had some confusing talks. This was the first time I truly thought there might be more to the church and Bevelle than meets the eye. Of course I may have had reasons to think that before, but had always had a reason to stop thinking it, like with the machina that day.

And then things got bad, the feeling in my gut, well it didn't go away, but it turned into full fledged pain and fear, like this was its climax. Bodies littered the area, if they were lucky enough to remain a body… many of them disintegrated in Hellish way that only Sin could bring. It was painting, Sin was, painting a picture, with blood and body parts and hope and faith… I wanted to help, to hurt the fiends, to be up front, but they kept pushing me back, do what I'm good at…

I was able to fight beside him at one point. I was reasonably impressed by his magic, his ability to hurt and heal, and summon. I felt small, ineffectual. I wanted to make it stop. I wanted to hurt them.

It wasn't often that I thought of hurting anything, even fiends. It wasn't until I was so pressured by pain and fear, by death of loved ones. But sometimes I would get angry, and I would want to fight the pain of the world so badly, sometimes I would even strike fiends with my staff as hard as I could, with little effect, and I could hear stifled giggles but I didn't care because this is my life and my feelings!

….But that was wrong of me to think, there was only one way to fight the pain in Spira, and I had already chosen my path… Many things that day reminded me of that, the failure of the operation with machina, the fighting…

And him…

He reminded me that I must not waver from my path… that I must focus on my pilgrimage and fulfilling the highest calling in Spira.

My anger, my few moments of anger, of wanting to hurt something, they were wrong, they were imperfections…

He wanted to help me with my imperfections, he had the confidence to guide me.

It would be so nice to be perfect… to know that I was helping Spira to the fullest of my ability…

The stone sank a little then, too.

I didn't think of much else besides my duty and death on the way to Djose. After that, our next destination was Guadosalam, where I obviously would think of him. I might have on the way there, but Rikku's joining us was much more important, rumors of disappearing summoners was much more important, being a disappearing summoner! everything… everything was always happening so fast and then…

Then he asked me to marry him.

It wasn't at all how I imagined it. I didn't imagine it much, of course. The times I did was daydreaming of another life, not this one, not Yuna's… still, I had imagined something beautiful (not that this wasn't) something… happy. Someone my family was familiar with. Something without the painful undertones of Sin and the pilgrimage and making everyone else in the world happy. Something that was about making me happy. And to add to it, he even said "We must play our parts." This didn't make the stone sink, but made the darkness around it grow.

And then I got Jyscal's sphere… and everything changed. My first thought, my only choice, was to help the world, bring justice, even if it means sacrificing myself. Of course I thought of telling the others, of course I thought of it many times throughout our journey on the thunder plains and Macalania. But I never did because I couldn't risk anyone but myself. Of course I hoped for the best, I hoped he would go peacefully and it would be simple. But if it wasn't simple, I couldn't risk anyone else…

What did I think exactly? Did I think, oh let's go sacrifice myself to beat Sin, as fast as possible lest Auron let us forget, but just for a couple days I'll get married and bring a murderer to justice? Won't take long… Being here now, I wonder what I was thinking…

I was thinking it would make people happy. I was thinking it would increase Spira's confidence in me, and thus increasing my confidence in myself?

Maybe he can help me increase my confidence in myself?

Here in this icy hallway I began to ask what I was thinking, alone with him, and that's when he spoke…

"I am not a murderer." I had gasped quietly, and couldn't form words. "It's written all over your face," he adds warmly, the corners of his mouth turning up slightly. I hung my head. I wished I had Auron's skills, to reassess a situation, damage control, whatever. All I could do was stand there stunned, frozen, and not from the ice surrounding us. He turned and took a few calculated steps towards me.

He tilted my chin with one long, sharp finger, forcing me to meet his eyes. Were they blue? Gray? Not the questions to be thinking at this moment.

"I was set up. The politics in Bevelle are not as simple as they are in Besaid. I would love to enlighten you, as my honored and valuable wife." There it is again, the proposal.

I looked into his reptilian eyes, and he relaxed his hand back to his side. We stood for a few pregnant moments.

"Let's keep going." I finally said.

"As you wish," he said turning around and leading us back down the frozen hallway.

Which is what prompted me to recall my feelings, every thought I ever had. The stone had turned into something completely different, a boulder, a crystal, I'm not sure what anymore…

We continued through the cloister, the puzzle I had put myself in with a murderer who was much stronger than me in every way, politely and effectively. 'I'll hold that sphere, your grace.' 'Let me push that pedestal, m'lady.' I wished it was that simple, honored to be completing a trial with a Maester, honored to be proposed to by a Maester. I wished it was even as simple as it was five minutes ago when he was a killer and I had chosen to put myself in a cloister alone with a killer like self sacrifice was second nature to me. Of course it was second nature to me… I learned a long time ago that if I'm ever to successfully bring the Calm, I can't think too much about what I'm doing or I'll procrastinate…. Which may have helped to get me here.

I wished that I could consult my family now, now that it's too late and I didn't do it during my many chances to. Jyscal did warn me of this. Why would I think he was a simple killer; 'oh yeah I did it let's go turn me in'? My second nature to sacrifice may have gotten me in too deep before I even had a chance to use it for good! If I'm to survive long enough to kill myself for Spira, I must not give him any reason to kill me….

So I must play along…

"Why would they want to set you up?"

I felt a little, just a little, more like Auron, with the skills to assess a situation and react.

"It is… complicated Lady Yuna. Why have you come here, alone with a perspective killer?" When his smooth voice said my name, I felt the stone take shape again a little inside…

"To discuss turning yourself in…"

"An exchange?" I nodded. His eyes dropped just slightly. He must be used to keeping them high, for politeness. "Why would I want an empty marriage? It is an uneven offer." My hopes went low then, my plan wasn't even a good one. His eyebrows lifted in concern. "Lady, my offer is sincere. Let us be honest, I know what you seek. Happiness for Spira, truth, justice. Let me adjust your bargain, to better benefit us both. Marry me, honeymoon with me, let me explain everything. It will take that long anyway. I will tell you this, if you come to Bevelle with me, Mika will confirm that I was set up."

Everything's become heavier, more complicated. Longer? Auron has been rushing us to Zanarkand. He will not stand for… a "honeymoon." And what does it matter, the politics in Bevelle? I wanted to bring one criminal to justice, not get a crash course in Bevelle relations!

But my upbringing calms me, and reminds me that I must do right, wherever I am. It would be easy to run from Besaid to Zanarkand, stopping for nothing, but it would be wrong.

"How long would it be?"

"As long as you like." Or as short as I like.

Okay, so I could right as many wrongs in a short amount of time, and go on?

"I will speak to the fayth." I say, before we enter the main chamber.

I walk, feeling his gaze on my every step.

Yuna and Seymour - Stay - Alesssica Care

I enter the ante-chamber, and pray, pray hard, until I no longer feel time go by, until I sweat, until I don't know up from down anymore. But before I become so exhausted that I faint, the fayth appears.

A beautiful priestess floats before me.

"Your heart is torn, Summoner. This will not do." Of course it is, it took so much out of me just to concentrate on praying instead of thinking. I stare, my lips slightly parted, not knowing what to say.

"My heart is with the people of Spira. I will do whatever I can to help them, no matter where I am. Is there truly wrongdoing in Bevelle?"

"The truth is yes."

"And someone must right it?"

"Yes, someone must… Summoner, take care of your own heart, before you take care of the world's." And with that, the woman flew through me, imparting her strength.

"Lady Yuna, they come, they have ill will." I hear him say through the door.

I run out, look in his face one moment, and run again. We run up the snowy path, I slipped once, into his large hands, and continue, through the door, we hear footsteps, and we barely make it down the icy walkway without detection. Once we hear the door to the main chamber shut, we pant loudly, catching our breath.

I can always turn back…

We retreat to the small dark underpart of the large cloister, cutting off the hallway up top. "How did you know they have ill intent?" I whisper.

"The Guado have a keen sense of smell. I could smell violence, mostly because of their numbers." His whispered words wrapped the air around us like silk. They wanted to hurt him? No, they were just preparing, preparing to deal with my stupid plan, preparing because he's stronger than me in every way… We didn't have time for this.

"All I know is I don't want anyone to be hurt. I don't want to fight." I didn't want it to be like this, running from them, I just didn't want to fight, and now all this pressure is on to make a slew of choices, ones for right now, ones for the very near future and ones for the regular future… a few stray tears collect at my eyes' corners and I furiously wipe them away. The emotion and the cold cause me to shiver and… his arms are around me, his bare chest touching my bare shoulder. "I didn't want it to be like this. I just didn't want to fight." I cry into him a little. "What will I do…"

The heat of his skin on mine contrasts the ice around us, adding to the tension, the feelings, the stone…

"Don't do it alone. What can I do?"

"I don't know…" If we see them in here, it's seven to one, and they're fired up. They probably wouldn't attack if I begged them not to, but how could I be sure? If we exit into the main part of the temple, then there are Guado in every corner and they are outnumbered and feel defensive and wouldn't believe me anyway because we're in a room full of Guado and I just don't want anyone to hurt!

All you have to do is Stay…

A minute

Just take

Your time

The clock, is ticking, so Stay….

"There is… a peaceful option." I looked into his face. "Marry me, now. There is no stronger argument to prove your conviction. Actions speak louder than words."

His arms are still around me, and the stone is there.

'Take care of your heart…'

I'm panicking and it's tearing me up and Sin is supposed to tear me up! Sin is the one who is supposed to bring me pain! I knew there would be pain before, I know that but I want happiness before too and… and his skin is warm on mine… and his eyes are gentle…

'My offer is sincere…'

I look into his face, his eyes, searching for answers that I know have to come from me, nowhere else.

"Let's hurry," I say, and we haste to one of the rooms off the main part of the temple.

The Guado priest performs a simple ritual, quick, and before our last words are spoken, we hear the Cloister door open. Upon their search, they walk in to find us hand in hand, a Guado knot skillfully tied over our hands, fingers ringed.

They stop, the breath stolen from their lungs. They question, they are angry, but no one fights.

Rikku forces a smile. She is happiest. She remains quiet through the initial bickering, but eventually grows brighter and brighter.

"Guys, Yunie is married! Let's stop bickering, we should be celebrating some!" I smile, a deeply grateful smile at her. They simmer down, not immediately, but quickly. Rikku drags Lulu over to me and begins to gush and ask (happier) questions and drag us both for 'post bachelorette parties.'

Before we leave the room, Auron takes my elbow, and asks "Why…"

"For Spira. He is not a killer."

"I hope you're right." He says dryly as he releases me.