Oh, Albus. How could you let this happen?
How could you just go an leave me all alone?
Now, I don the mask and pretend I'm okay, but I'm not. And, you of all people, would have known that, would have seen through the charade.
How could I be okay? My best friend just died. No. You didn't die.
You were murdered
By a man we all thought we could trust.
How very wrong we were.
And I know you're gone, but I just don't understand
You were always so in control. You could have stopped it.
You should have stopped it.
It's all so overwhelming.
There are funeral plans to make, the children to attend to, and replacement teachers to hire- if Hogwarts is even to remain open.
And then there's the business of the order. What will become of that?
And everyone is so lost without you, especially me.
And I just keep expecting you to walk through the doors into your office- my office, but it'll always feel like I'm intruding in your office- because I simply can't accept your being gone.
And everyone keeps asking if I'm okay and if there's anything they can do. But they can't, because- despite all magic's efforts- they can't bring you back. And they all want to help.
They want to help with the paperwork aspect and anything else detached from emotion.
They offer to help find teachers.
And console the children.
They offer their apologies, again, for not believing you when you had said You-Know-Who had returned.
They offer their hatred of Severus.
They offer, worst of all, their condolences, which I can't accept because it means you're really gone.
Really gone.
Not just away on Order business, or Hogwarts business, or personal business.
But really gone.
And not coming back.
You've gone and left me to this perfect hell, where I'm supposed to be in charge. Supposed to know how to make it better.
You've gone and left me without notice or instruction.
When you left with Harry that night, you promised me you'd return, the both of you, safe and sound.
But you're gone now.
Really gone.
And I don't understand why or how.