Title: Tainted

AuthorHazelmist
Ship: I'll let you be the judge.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Summary: PreDH. He didn't know, she'd never told him, about the blood that wouldn't go away. Ginny is murdered and Luna realizes that there are some things that are worse than death.

A/N: Another one shot, it's a pity I lost the edited version of this.

They killed her.

Luna groped for the wall and pressed her palm against the smooth stone. She closed her eyes and concentrated on breathing. But the wave of nausea swept over her once again and her knees gave way. She crumpled against the wall, falling down on all fours.

The girl's face swam before her. She saw her wide brown eyes, filled with fear. She heard her angry protests, so brave but so foolish. She could feel the girl's calloused hands, her short stubby nails, tearing at her robes, flailing a wayward fist in her face as she desperately fought for her freedom. She did not go quietly, but in the end she went, just like the others.

They killed her.

When Luna had finished cleaning it up, she drew a shaky breath and pulled herself up. Leaning back against the wall, she wiped her mouth with the sleeve of her robe and tugged her knees to her chest.

She shuddered recalling how easily, how quickly, they'd stifled the life in the girl. It was as if a candle had been snuffed out with a flick of a wand and a fleeting emerald flash of light. Luna remembered her mother's funeral, staring down at the immobile body which was like a lifelike doll, or a statue, but certainly not her mother. But this time Luna had watched the transformation, saw the actual moment when the girl's life had left her body, and this time, staring at the body of her lifeless best friend, she knew that it was all her fault.

They'd been in hiding. Hogwarts had opened and a few students had returned, including Luna, Ginny Weasley, Neville Longbottom, Dean Thomas and Lavender Brown. In December, Hogsmeade and the school were attacked and everyone had been evacuated. The five had narrowly escaped and chose to hide out in what was left of the smoldering Three Broomsticks. After a week, the starving group had chosen lots and Dean and Lavender had been selected to go in search of food. Neither one of them returned. Luna later found out that they'd died peacefully with a simple flick of a Death Eater's wands.

Lavender and Dean were the lucky ones.

Neville was suffering from a curse wound. Despite his extensive knowledge of healing and plants, none of them had wands and there were no supplies. Neville died a slow, painful death and both of the girls had sat there, unable to do anything but make him as comfortable as possible, as they helplessly watched him die.

Finally, the Death Eaters had come for them. Luna and Ginny had been too weak at the point, even to run. They were defenseless and starving. The cold cell they were thrown into was like a luxurious suite and the moldy unidentifiable food and muddy water were like delicacies and the finest wine.

Once again the Death Eaters came for them. They took Luna first. Luna had gone with them without protest, she was more than ready to die a noble death. It was Ginny who screamed when they tried to take Luna away. Ginny fought the battle that Luna was so unwilling to fight, because Luna had thought it was fruitless. They'd been preparing themselves for this day since Dumbledore died and Luna was looking forward to seeing her mother.

"Don't touch her! Leave her alone! LET HER GO!"

Luna remembered how they laughed at brave little Ginny Weasley who had been sticking up for Luna since they were First Years, and forever fighting the battles that Luna didn't think were worth fighting. Luna had smiled, glad that her last memory would be of her closest friend fighting for her, but it wasn't.

They separated them, but they did not kill Luna. They had a better idea.

Two days later they returned. The Death Eaters had decided that a simple killing curse was not enough, nor was the Crucio Curse. With a leering grin, the tall hooded form of Voldemort himself had chosen the last of the three unforgiveables, the Imperius Curse.

Luna didn't know what was happening, she remembered only flashes, vivid stills of a foggy dreamlike trance. Her cell door had opened and suddenly she was walking, in search of Ginny. The two girls had reunited. Ginny had been so happy that she was okay. She'd barely noticed the odd glaze in Luna's eyes, the way that she unlocked the door and set her friend free and then taken her by the arm into another part of the castle. She remembered vaguely telling Ginny that they were escaping, and then she'd led her right into Voldemort's innermost chamber.

"NO! Luna don't do this! You don't know what you're doing! You're not in your right mind! Luna they have you in a trance! NO LUNA! NO! LUNA!"

Ginny Weasley had fought her then, not because she was afraid of dying but because she knew that Luna would regret forever what she had done that day.

Because Ginny must've known that they would never let Luna die after that, but would make her live forever with the memory of that tragic day. Luna's hands would never be clean and would forever be tainted by the innocent girl's blood, the blood of her closest friend, sister and protector.

Ginny must've known that one day it would come to this. The day when she'd sit in the basement of the church, huddled against the wall in her wedding gown because she couldn't go through with her marriage, not yet, not now.

Luna heard footsteps on the stairs and silently prayed that whoever it was would go away and never find her. But the footsteps came closer and stopped in front of her. She didn't dare look up, but she felt him sitting down beside her and knew immediately who it was.

"Luna?"

Luna winced at the sound of his voice, wondering how she could possibly live with herself. She felt his hand stroke her cheek, tangling in her blonde curls. It took all of her power not to recoil, because she knew that this was wrong and that she shouldn't hurt him like this. He didn't know, she'd never told him, about the blood that wouldn't go away.

"Are you getting cold feet?"

Luna refused to answer because her feet had been cold since the day Ginny had died. In fact her whole body had gone cold. She was numb and unfeeling, but he'd survived and with Hermione and Ron caught up in each other, Neville gone, and Ginny dead, he'd looked to her, the only one left, for comfort. And she'd given it to him, the one shameless act she had left in her, the only thing she could do.

"Come on, they're waiting."

So she took his hand and they went upstairs, in front of the smiling Weasleys and all of the survivors of the war.

"Do you Luna Lovegood take Harry Potter to be your lawfully wedded husband-"

Ginny would have wanted it to be like this, Luna knew, the girl had the biggest heart and would want the best for her former love, and Harry too deserved someone and he'd chosen her. He smiled down at her, his green eyes shining brightly with the love that she was only able to return superficially.

And she pretended to smile.

Because he didn't know about the blood on her hands, the blood that would never come off no matter how hard she scrubbed. He would never know about the way Ginny had fought for her, or the way that Luna had watched her life be snuffed out like a candle, because Luna would never tell him.

"I do."

Because they killed her.

And it was all her fault.