Chapter 1 – In which a first year is lost, an argument ensues and a bet is made.


"So," Lily smiled and patted the girl reassuringly on the shoulder. "Do you think you can remember all of that?"

Charlotte nodded up at her, beaming. "Up the marble staircase after breakfast, turn left, walk to the end of the corridor, turn left again and then immediately right, and that's it!"

"And what did we say about Peeves?" Lily questioned.

"To just ignore him; he's nasty to everyone and it doesn't mean anything when he says horrible stuff about us."

"Good girl. Now if you have any other problems finding your way around just come and find me. Hogwarts can be pretty tricky at first – I remember!" Lily mock shuddered, grinning at the little first year, who laughed in delight.

"What's going on over here then?" said an obnoxious voice to her left, and turning she sighed heavily as James Potter swaggered up to the pair of them. "Trouble getting around Hogwarts?" he smiled superciliously down at the little girl, who blushed and mumbled something unintelligible. "Well," he sighed, "I suppose it could be daunting for those who don't know it as well as I do-"

"James!" Lily interrupted, furious, even as she put one hand reassuringly onto Charlotte's shoulder. "How dare you be so condescending?"

Glaring, she turned her back smartly on him to address Charlotte. "Don't worry about him – he got himself even more lost and into even more trouble than you when he first arrived," she said conspiratorially.

Behind her James spluttered, choked, and then and opened his mouth indignantly to retort. Whirling, she turned to face him pressing a finger gently to his lips. James froze in shock, and then became mildly cross-eyed as he attempted to stare at her finger.

Lily smiled wickedly at him. "Now, Potter, I want to tell my story without any of your usual jibes, comments or other unhelpful additions, and then you can have your say – deal?"

He winked at her. "Only if you leave your finger where it is to shut me up…" he leered slightly as his lips became rather more interested in her finger. Rolling her eyes at him, she yanked her hand away, and made a show of cleaning it with the hem of her robe.

Then, turning to Charlotte, she began, "Now, if I remember rightly, Potter here, decided he'd make a bit of a name for himself when he first arrived; fancied himself a bit cooler than the rest of us, and didn't much like the fact that no-one seemed to pay him any attention if you ask me." She winked down at the little girl, who grinned back up at her. "So, a few weeks after the sorting ceremony, he decided to sneak out and impress us all by breaking into the Slytherin common room – well, tried to in any rate - and hexing a few of them."

Charlotte had wide eyes as she stared up at James Potter, who preened slightly under her gaze. Lily ignored him and continued.

"Potter, here, had already managed the impressive feat of infuriating a large number of the Slytherins after only a few weeks – I suppose it must be one of your natural talents, eh, Potter?" Lily asked slyly.

James grinned back at her and winked. "What 'impressive feats'? Glad you think so highly of me, Evans."

Lily smiled coolly. "I was thinking more of your aptitude and limitless capacity for annoying others actually, but we'll move on…"

Turning her attention back to the first year by her side, Lily continued her story. "So Potter here sneaks out with the intention of earning a name for himself; no doubt he was imagining the cheering of his housemates on his celebrated return, and the glory he would receive from all of Gryffindor…" she mocked the older boy.

James folded his arms as he watched her, but said nothing.

Lily stifled a laugh. "Anyway, Professor Slughorn found him the next morning, cold, hungry and completely and utterly stuck with half his body sticking out of a wall, and the other half disappearing goodness knows where!"

Charlotte stared for half a minute, gobsmacked, before breaking out into nervous laughter. "But… but… how does something like that happen?"

"It was a trick section of wall," said James haughtily. "I'd cleverly discovered it the day before-"

"Yes, very cleverly," Lily muttered, interrupting him.

"-but it changed from the opening of a staircase to a solid piece of wall at the wrong moment."

"But," Charlotte stuttered once more. "Doesn't that hurt?"

"Dreadfully!" James sighed dramatically. "But I bore it heroically and didn't make a sound the entire night; I suffered in silence!"

"Ignore him," Lily sighed. "It doesn't hurt a bit. It just feels like somebody's giving you a really tight hug. You can't move at all, and there's a heavy pressure all around you, but it's not painful in the slightest."

"Oooh," murmured Charlotte, who to Lily's great annoyance, seemed slightly star-struck by this story.

"Anyway," she continued, "the up-shot is that he has no right to look down on you for feeling confused and lost at first – he was a lot worse when he first arrived."

The cocky retort that must have been leaping for attention on the tip of James' tongue for a good few minutes now seemed finally to have gotten the better of him. "Now, look here, Evans," he began, affronted. "That bloody staircase may have trapped me, but at least I had the guts to go out looking! I bet I've found more hidden passages and secret tunnels in Hogwarts than the whole school put together!"

"Oh, you do, do you?" ground out Lily, enraged by his attitude. "Just how much bigger will that head of yours grow, Potter?"

"There is nothing wrong with the size of my head! It's all true – ask Sirius, Remus and Peter just how many we've found."

"Oh, of course," scorned Lily, "because they'll give me nothing but the complete unadulterated truth of all your silly little adventures."

"Fine. Don't believe me, turn your nose up and walk away, Evans, just like you always do!"

Lily whirled around, furious. "If my nose is turned up, Potter, it's only to try and breathe some fresh air – the stench of testosterone surrounding you would choke me otherwise!"

"Ha!" he snorted at her. "I think you're jealous."

Lily stopped dead. "Jealous?" she gasped, amazed. "Of you? Of an immature, arrogant, conceited little teenage boy?"

James cheeks reddened slightly, and he became aware that the common room had gone oddly quiet and that Charlotte had slunk quietly back to her friends.

"You're jealous that I know so much more about Hogwarts than you. You're the bookworm Lily, you're supposed to know more than everyone else, isn't that what you think?"

"How dare yo-"

"In fact," James continued, bolstered by all the students staring at the pair of them, "I can prove it. I bet I know Hogwarts so well I could walk around the entire school blindfolded! What d'you say to that, Evans?"

Lily stared at him for a moment, seeing only that infuriatingly cocky grin, the polished pose of a smug Quidditch star and the look in his eyes which already seemed to scream at her I've won, I've won again and they all know how amazing I am.

Looking him right in the eyes, Lily Evans replied, "I say, I'll take that bet, Potter."