TitleHas No One Told You She's Not Breathing?
Summary Sometimes when things go wrong, it just turns out right
RatingT
GenreDrama/Tragedy/Romance
CharactersTemperance "Bones" Brennan, Seeley Booth, Madison "Maddy" Temperance Booth, Jayme Lynn Hodings, Angela Montenegro (Hodgins), and Dr. Wyatt
PairingBren/Booth
SongHello
Artist
You're both sitting in the Jeffersonian upon the hour of leaving and getting your six-year-old daughter. The case had long since been over and solved and now you're just waiting to leave. You have nothing else to do.
Then it happens. You get a phone call. Both of you. On your cell phones at the same time. And you have no idea why.
"Booth," Special Agent Seeley Booth paced around the platform in the Jeffersonian, cell phone to his ear. In the office not too far away, his fiance, Dr. Temperance Brennan had picked up her phone at the same time.
"Agent Booth, this is Miss Jordyns from school."
Booth's ears pricked. "Is-everything okay? I was just on my way out to get Maddy."
A sigh escaped Miss Jordyns lips and instantly, Booth's heart skipped a beat or more. Something told him, in all of his FBI ways, that something hadn't gone so right.
"Miss Jordyns?"
"I'm very sorry, Agent Booth. But Maddy--there was a tragedy in the school not a few moments ago."
Booth shook. "What kind of tragedy, Miss Jordyns? This involves my daughter, you have to be more specific."
"It all started when the bell was about to ring. Recess had just let out..."
Playground school bell rings again
Six-year-old Madison Booth smiled, playfully tackling her best friend, Jamyme Hodgins. Her dark brown hair bounced in her ponytail and her bright blue eyes couldn't have been smiling any brighter. She laughed as Jayme tried to pry her off.
"Come on, Jaym! I'ts only fair!" Maddy giggled as her best friend flipped her over onto the ground. Tomboyish like her father, but still had fashion sense and loved to shop, Jayme was probably one of the best dressed in class.
Well, now thanks to Maddy's tirade, she had dirt streaked on her pants. But, she didn't mind.
"Yeah, but I wasn't even ready. That's not fair."
"Oh whine," Maddy grinned a grin that was evidently her father's and helped Jayme up. "You may have the skills of an artist, but your fighting skills are weak."
"Hey, I'm not the one going to be the mini-FBI agent," Jayme smirked and Maddy gently shoved her shoulder.
The bell rang then, which meant that it was time to go back inside and prep for the arrival of their parents and go home. Jayme linked arms with Maddy and the two started off towards the elementary building together, following the other kids.
But not a split mili-moment went by when the first shot was heard. Everybody jumped and screamed, running towards the building in a frenzy. The teachers were rushing them inside, Miss Jordyns in the mix of it all, trying to get her students.
Jayme had lost her link with Maddy in the scurry of everybody else and the gun shots evidently started aiming for people. Two teachers got shot and in the scurry of it all, Maddy got lost.
"Jayme! Jayme!" She looked left in right, but couldn't see a thing, in the midst of the blur of running kids. She couldn't find Jayme, but she heard what was going on. As her father was a FBI agent, she knew how this worked. If she didn't run, she could get killed. But like her father also and a mix of her mother, friends and family were important. She had to find Jayme.
Taking a whirl, she looked the other way, not noticing at all the the barrel was taking a point into her direction. Her focus was on Jayme and nothing else.
But in a moment...just one moment...she heard a shot fired, then a depe, sinking pain her back. She gasped and closed her eyes. She fell to her knees, her hands on the pavement below her. She spat out blood and her vision became blurred. she gapsed, but breath was long but leaving her. "Jaym..." she winced in pain and closed her eyes. She felt herself slowly sinking down onto the pavement, her thoughts racing. She knew she was probably dying. She kenw everything. Wincing in pain again, she let herself fall onto the pavement and let out a ragged breath.
Her blurred vision saw Jayme and blood and bodies around her. Then...nothing at all.
Jayme Hodgins knew the work her parents and Maddy's did. She never expected it to happen here, though. Never expected it to all go wrong for them. She ran over to her best friend, tears running down her face. She tripped over a body, then picked herself back up. "Maddy!" She screamed, but it seemed like an eternity. "MAD!"
She ran over to her friend, seeing blood under her, staining her hair. She dropped to her knees, scraping them, and picked up her dead friend's body. "Maddy!" In times like these, she felt like her mother. In times like these, she'd had only dreamed about, then had her dad tell her that it was going to be okay. Now, nothing was going to be right.
Jayme sobbed, hugging Maddy's body tightly. "Maddy...Maddy, Maddy, no. Why didn't you come? Why didn't you run?" She looked at Maddy's so calm face and took a shaky breath. "Maddy..."
The shooter of that afternoon's activities had ran off.
Booth slammed his cell phone shut and put his face in his hands, sobbing. He would catch whoever did this to his baby. He would. And when he did, he'd make him suffer. Suffer long and had like his baby girl had.
He promised this.
A sound caused him to look up. Brennan. She had a tear-streaked face and her eyes were still watery. Booth shot up instantly and ran over, hugging her tightly.
Brennan dropped her cell phone and buried her face into his shoulder, crying hard.
Booth swallowed hard. "Trust me, Bones, I'm going to catch whoever did this. You hear me?" He took her face in his hands. "You hear me? I will kill whoever killed our daughter!"
"Seeley, don't be so brash," Brennan put her hands around his wrists.
"Brash? I'm being brash! Our daughter is dead because of-" He swallowed and slammed his fist onto one of the tables. "Brash? Huh, Bones? Brash?" He turned to look at her and tossed his hands up. "Fine. I'm being brash." He grabbed his keys. "I'm going to the school."
Brennan turned to watch him walk off. "Booth..."
"What?" He turned around and asked a little more harshly than intended to.
"Don't do this."
"Don't do what, Bones? Get revenge? Because it never works? That's old news, Bones, old news. I don't care anymore. I don't care what happens, if I get on probation or fired, I don't care!"
Brennan didn't sway. She didn't jump. She didn't even blink. All she could do was swallow hard. Was she being heartless? Her daughter was dead, and here she was not even trying to do anything about it. Not like Booth was. She nodded and Booth walked off, pure tension and anger in his stride.
Then, she numbly sat on the platform steps and took a shaky breath, her eyes fixed on her cell phone five feet away from her.
Rain clouds come to play again
Booth pulled up to the curb of the elementary side of the school where the shooting had occurred. This was still evident, with police, ambulences, blood, and oh so much more that he was used to seeing. It was just harder this time around.
He slammed the door shut of his SUV and flashed his ID in order to get around the other authorities surrounding the area. He walked into the main office, seeing a disgruntled and shaky-looking Jayme Hodgins. He knelt in front of her and she looked up, tears running wild.
"I tried," she said, quietly. "I had her," she linked her arm around. "I had her, then she broke off from me. I think she was trying to find me before herself, but.." she shook her head, her curly black hair following her movement. "I'm sorry, Mr. Agent Booth."
Booth made a chance to smile and hugged her. "It's not your fault."
Jayme hugged her best friend's father, sensing comfort. Comfort she needed. When the pulled away, she took a shaky breath. "Miss Jordyns asked to keep her body so you could see it. They wouldn't let her."
"Where is Miss Jordyns, Jayme?"
Jayme pointed to the halls. "Down the right. First room."
"Thank you."
Jayme nodded and fell in silence as Booth walked down the halls. He stopped at Maddy's classroom, then walked in. Miss Jordyns was young...twenty...and pretty. She wasn't married and now, she looked twice her age or more.
Booth stood by the door, arms folded in front of him. "Miss. Jordyns."
She looked up. "Oh, Agent Booth," she dried her eyes and stood up, walking over to him. "I...I don't know what happened. I really don't. Jayme said she had been with her. I'm sorry. I really am."
"It's not your fault," Booth shook his head. "Where did they take her body?"
"DC Memorial hospital. They took them all there."
Silence followed and Booth looked down momentarily. "I just...just thank you," he shook his head and turned, reaching for the handle.
Miss Jordyns was confused. "Thank--for what, Agent Booth?"
Booth turned and looked at her. "Just for trying," he managed a small, sad smile, then left, shutting the door behind him.
Has no one told you she's not breathing?
Booth walked into DC Memorial Hospital and showed his ID again. He went to the front desk. "I'm looking for the trauma unit."
The receptionist pointed. "Down your left."
"Thank you."
Booth shoved on his sunglasses and walked rather stifly to the Trauma Unit. Once there, he again showed his ID and asked, "The school shooting of the elementary. I'm here to identify a body."
"Name?"
"Madison Temperance Booth," Booth could hardly choke out the words.
"Downstairs in the morgue. Number 55647MA," the Trauma Unit in charge shook his head. "It's a shame. I'm sorry."
Booth nodded. "Aren't we all."
Taking a elevator down, he walked through the double doors, showing hid ID with force. "Special Agent Seeley Booth of the FBI. I'm identifying a body. Have a problem with that, I won't think twice about shooting you in between the eyes, got it?"
Two of the attendees nodded and let him pass. Booth didn't mind his force or anger then. All he though about was his daughter. His dead daughter. Who was only six. It was so unfair.
He stormed into the morgue room and recited the number to himself. "55647MA..." he looked around until he found the right storage unit. He swallowed hard, just staring at the label. He shoved his sunglasses up on his head and with a shaky hand, he pulled it open.
Maddy hadn't been placed in a body bag. Instead, she was covered from the chest down in a white sheet. Booth's breath caught in his chest when he saw her face. So calm, so still. He let a sob escape his throat and he kissed her cold forehead, letting a tear fall onto her.
"God, my baby..." he said with a shaky breath. He stroked her hair and let all emotion run out and wild. He took her cold, stiff hand then, and kissed it. "Daddy's so sorry, Maddy. I should've came and got you earlier."
The only sound that came next was Booth's sobs and shouts of curses to the person who killed his baby girl.
Tired with a migrane hitting hard, Booth walked into the front door of his apartment, tossing his keys on the counter. "Bones?" He called out, throwing his jacket on the couch. "Bones, you home?"
He walked through the house and into the bedroom, where Brennan was lying quietly in bed in a ball. She wasn't asleep and she was holding onto the pillow hard with one hand.
"Bones," he knelt in front of her. "Hey."
"I'm sorry," Brennan said very quietly. "I didn't mean to be heartless."
"You're no heartless, Bones. You were just as lost and confused and hurt as I was. That was just your way of showing it," Booth stroked her cheek with his thumb. "I saw her."
Brennan closed her eyes.
"I'm going to find who did this. For me, you, and all those other hurting families. Bones, listen to me, this was not fair."
"Life isn't fair, Seeley," Brennan sat up. "Haven't you learned that? From what we do? LIfe isn't always fair."
"How can you say that when our daughter's body in stored away in the DC Memorial morgue?" Booth shot, hands on his hips.
Brennan got out of bed. "I'm just as bent up about this as you are, but I'm not going to murder anybody in retrun for it!" She was incredulous, her blue eyes peircing.
"I didn't know what I was saying, Bones. I'm not goign to kill who did this. I just want him behind bars and if he has to be killed, let somebody else do it," Booth said sternly.
"But you don't--" Brennan shook her head. "You're going to snap. And it's not going to be pretty. Talk to somebody before it happens."
"I am! I'm talking to you, Bones!"
"No, you're not! You're mad because whatever rationality you don't have is lying with me, making me the bad parent!" Brennan shot, now in anger.
"You don't have rationality, Bones! You have the same hatred I have, you just want to be rational about it!" Booth truend his back in frustration and sighed deeply, rubbing the back of his neck.
"We're going to break, Seeley," Brennan said, calmer now. "We're going to grow apart. We're not even married yet, I don't want that to happen if you think I do."
Booth sighed deeply again, as if the whole weight of that day was on his lungs. "I know. Maybe we should go see Wyatt."
Brennan nodded and climbed back into bed.
"Why don't we just spend tonight away from each other? To relieve the tension?" Booth asked.
"Okay," Brennan's heart crumbled, but she knew that it wouldn't last. She laid back down and heard Booth grab his pillows and blaket. He then kissed her cheek.
"Bones?"
"Hm?"
"I love you."
Brennan swallowed and nodded. "I know."
Hello I am your mind giving you someone to talk to
Hello
That next morning, work at the Jeffersonian continued as normal. Angela and Jack Hodgins had tried to pursuade Booth and Brennan to take it off, but they would have none of it. Zach Addy suggested merely that they were just trying to get their mind off it.
Funeral services for Maddy would be that next day.
Brennan would smile every chance she got. Booth and Angela knew she was bluffing for yesterday. She smiled no matetr what happened that day. And it was really hurting her and booth inside.
Soon, though, it was too much for Booth. The anger had boiled inside him for so long since yesterday and it had never left. Alone in the solitude of his office, he grabbed his gun and in a blinding moment, shot the window of his front office door, shattering it.
Shaking as Angela ran over, he dropped the gun on his desk and put his head in his hands. Angela stepped inside quietly, sitting in a chair in front of his desk.
"You both need to let it out."
"I just did," Booth replied with ice to his tone.
"Not healthily, Hon. You both need to talk without fighting. I'm sorry about what happened to Maddy and I'm sure that--"
"That what? That if it was Jayme, you and Hodgins would be doing the same thing?" Booth asked with bitterness. Not that he meant to. It just jumped out.
Angela didn't take it as offense. She just stood up. "You need to be better at this. You need to learn how to take loss as loss and look at what good you do have."
When she left, Booth leaned back in his chair and with a shouting curse, chucked his gun halfway across the room. Maybe Angela was right.
But that's what the appointment with Wyatt was for later.
If I smile and don't believe
Soon I know I'll wake from this dream
Brennan shifted in her seat at Dr. Wyatt's place. Booth crossed his legs and cast a side look over at Brennan, then took her hand. She looked back at him, then let her eyes drop.
"Alright," Wyatt sat in a chair across from the both of them, "who's starting off?"
Brennan looked at Booth. Booth looked at Brennan. Neither of them spoke a word.
"Yes I see," Wyatt looked over both of them. "I can see that this past event has gotten the better of both of you."
"More or less," Booth spole up, keeping his eyes downcast.
"Agent Booth, I think you and I both know that from our previous meetings that keeping your eyes downcast doesn't send good messages. If you wish to speak clearly with meaning, it's important to look at the person you're speaking to," Wyatt instructed and Booth knew that this was right. He just wished he'd done this with Brennan.
Booth looked up slowly, tears starting to brim his eyes. "My--" He heaved a sigh, "our daughter died yesterday. School shooting. And I vowed to kill whoever did it for us and all the other grieving families."
"Isn't that a bit extreme, Agent Booth?"
"I don't think so," Booth said severely. "I think it's what I need to do."
Silence fell thick before Wyatt asked, "How's your anger been?"
"In check," Booth lied.
"I don't necessarily believe that," Wyatt shook his head. "I can read it on you right now. You're so pent up with anger and remorse for what happened that you literally want to commit a murder for your daughter."
"It's not necessarily a murder, okay?" Booth's voice rose. "I just want to catch the sicko who killed my daughter and all those other kids."
Brennan let her eyes wander and Wyatt turned to her. "Dr. Brennan."
"Yes?"
"Would you say that your relationship with Agent Booth has become strained since this event?"
Brennan looked at Booth, who gestured with a hand as if to say "go ahead." She swallowed. "Yeah. I would."
Wyatt looked at Booth. "Agent Booth, would you agree with her?"
"Maybe."
Brennan gave him a look and Wyatt nodded. "Quite. Agent Booth, have you done anything rash in these past two days?"
Booth thought. He had. Breaking the glass on his doorw ith his gun, then throwing it like a ten-year-old with a temper tantrum would classify that well. But how would that sit with Brennan? "Yeah."
"Care to elaborate?"
Booth clicked his tongue. "I--threw a temper today in my office. Shot the glass off my office door," he made the motion as if doing it then. "Then after I talked to Angela, I chucked it across the room."
"In anger or resentment?"
Booth shrugged. "Probably both."
"So, bascially, you threw a temper tantrum."
"Pretty much."
Brennan looked at him. "You shot the glass off your door?"
"I didn't mean to. I didn't even know what I was doing. All I know is that I picked up the gun. I couldn't stop myself. Next thing I know, the glass is shattered and Angela walked in to talk to me. When she left, I threw it," Booth told her like it was no big deal.
Brennan sighed. "Why didn't you come talk to me if you were so upset?"
"You don't necessarily help, Bones. Smiling all day, knowing that our daughter's dead?"
"I was trying to get my mind off it."
"Why would you!" Booth blew up. "You act like you don't even care!"
Brennan shook her head. "Why would you say that? I loved her just as much as you did."
"You sure don't act like it," Booth said bitterly.
Wyatt watched this display with a thinking face. He knew exactly what to do. He just wanted them to think it through and figure it out themselves. He would just help it along.
"Just because I have a more rational way of dealing witht his other than shooting things or threatening?"
"You call it rational, I call it you not caring," Booth replied.
Brennan sighed and shook her head, now frustrated. She crossed her arms over her chest and Booth rubbed his temples. This wasn't going anywhere for either of them.
Don't try to fix me I'm not broken
"What I see displayed here is an act of resentment. Resentment for what happened. You both blame each other and yourselves," Wyatt pointed to both of them. "But neither of you want to admit that resentment or fault. But the real fact of oit is is that it's nobody's fault. You both want to believe that if you had been there, you could've saved her. The real truth of that, though, is that if you had been there, both of you may as well have been part of it. If you were there, you'd both be in that morgue, with or without your daughter. Then where would she be?"
Booth looked at him. The sense that was made was so true. So true that he never had stopped twice to think about it. Never. And Brennan was thinking the same thing.
"You both need to look at the perspective differently. Of yourselves, of each other, and of the others. Look at the situation as gain. You didn't lose Madison. You still have her. You just have to find it."
Later that night, Brennan sat on the bed, staring out the window. It was raining. Booth pulled on a T-shirt and sat next to her. "Bones?"
"Hm?"
"Thinking about it?"
"Yeah."
Booth hugged her. "It's going to be okay."
Brennan buried her face in his shoulder and let out a small cry. Booth let his tears run down his face, but didn't cry. He just held her tightly and rubbed her back.
"It's going to be okay..."
Hello I'm the lie living for you so you can hide
Don't cry
It was raining still that next day of Maddy's funeral. Everybody was there. Angela, Jack, Jayme, Zach, Cullen, Cam, Wyatt, Booth's FBI buddies...everybody.
Brennan bit her lip against the tears. She tried to hold them back, but lost fast. Angela squeezed her arm. Booth had his sunglasses on to hide his bloodshot, teary eyes. He wasn't afraid or ashamed...just lost.
In his hand, he clutched one of his medals. His little girl deserved it. She was brave in the midst of that shooting...trying to save her friend. Trying to find and save Jayme. That's what being an agent was all about. Protecting and caring about the people you loved the most.
Numbly stepping up to his daughter's casket, he swallowed a sob and looked down. "Daddy's still sorry, Mads. But I'll always love you," he wiped his nose on his jacket sleeve and placed the medal down. "You were a fighter, Babe." He kissed his fingers then and laid it on the casket, stepping back by Brennan.
Instantly, Brennan went up next and laid a yellow rose down. Maddy's favorite. "M--Mommy's not mad, Maddy. She just doesn't know what to do with herself." She took a shaky breath and Booth stepped up behind her, putting a hand on her shoulder. Brennan broke and turned around, hugging Booth tightly.
Booth wrapped his arms around her, laying his cheek on top of her head. He let a tear roll down his face and the rain soaked through them like their emotions.
But at least the killer had been caught...and Booth had been the charge of that whole mission. As long as he didn't tell Brennan or Wyatt that he'd lost it and killed the man, it would be fine.
They would be okay.
Yes, I know, horribly sad.
Jay