Sorry

Cold breeze ruffled through his bronze hair as he gazed into the dark endless night. Sitting on an uncomfortable stone right outside the tent, he twirled the wand between his fingers as he pondered on his return to the quest. Harry had been ecstatic on his return and Ron, humbly apologized to his friend for deserting him. But Harry was too pleased to have him back to even notice his embarrassment. Ron cursed himself for the millionth time for abandoning such a person who had been with him during the best years of his life. Hermione, however, didn't look at him for once since his return, let alone talk to him. He did sometimes see Hermione glance up at his way when she thought he wasn't looking. The first two days since Ron's return were full of anxiety and tension as Ron wanted to express his apology with every little thing he said or did. Though it worked for Harry (who strictly told him not to apologize anymore), Hermione was much tougher. She drove a hard bargain and it drove Ron crazy with her silent glares and disapproving nods.

The tent rustled behind him and he whipped his head around, wand ready. A brunette head came out of the flap opening soon followed by the small body. Hermione was holding a large steamy mug in her hands and moved towards him, eyes narrowed somewhere above his head.

"This is for you," she said curtly handing him the mug which Ron accepted gratefully owing to the chilly breeze flipping around him.

"Thank you," Ron replied, hoping she could at least welcome some small talk.

"Harry is the one you should thank. I had actually forgotten that you were here too," Hermione made to go back to the tent but Ron, hurt and angry, held her elbow. The words slashed and voiced the shame he had felt since the day he left the tent.

"Let go Ron," Hermione struggled angrily, sending her hair loose of the side braid they were tamed into.

"No!" Ron held tightly to her arm as he brought her away from the tent opening. "You are going to listen to me through because that's the least I deserve."

Ron said this with such resolve that Hermione's jaw tightened and she stopped struggling, noting the seriousness and hurt in his voice. Tendrils cascaded her face as she ventured her eyes to his.

"I am sorry, Ok? It hurt bad enough, being guilty and ashamed and lonely. I curse myself a million times everyday for leaving you and Harry in the middle of this. I am sorry, truly," Ron broke his sentence as breath clogged his throat and he let go of Hermione. Turning away from her questioning eyes, he closed his own to collect his thoughts.

"Why?" Hermione's quiet voice he so longed to hear broke the icy darkness surrounding them.

"I was stupid. The necklace, the horcrux was making me see things which were not true and I believed it. I was unable to think clearly when ever I had that necklace on and it fed my clueless mind with things that compelled me to run away. Run away from…" Ron stopped before he gave away everything and he felt his palms getting sweaty amidst the chilly winds.

"I am sorry. I was just stupid," he shook his head and plunged his hands deep in the pocket, waiting for her tirade. A soft hand grazed his back and he turned around to find Hermione standing close to him.

"Run away from whom?" Hermione's steady gaze locked in his troubled ones and he felt at ease. Warmth filled his stomach and he exhaled a strangled breath.

"Myself. My corrupted self. Before I could corrupt both of you. I had to run away from it all."

Ron saw tears well up Hermione's eyes and he cringed. He despised himself every time Hermione cried because of him.

"Please, Hermione, don't cry. I am sorry more to you than anybody else," Ron held her by the shoulders and tried to console her.

"You came after me in that rain and I was such a jackass not to come back to you," Ron came to her level and desperately tried to bring her back to the angry self which he preferred than the crying Hermione. She hung her head down and sobbed harder. Leaving him no choice, he pulled her closer to him and wrapped his arms around her.

"Please stop, Hermione. I will never even think of going and leaving you. If I do, kick me, slap me, punch me but don't cry. Please," a muffled chuckle came from somewhere near his chest and Hermione wiped her eyes. Pulling back but not out of his embrace, she looked up at him.

"I know Ron you are sorry but you should have told us about the way that necklace effected you," Hermione said, voice thick with emotions.

"And admit that I was so useless to you two that I couldn't even carry the horcrux," Ron said dejectedly.

"You were never useless to us Ron. For not even a second," a cold hand pressed his cheek, surprising him. "You are an integral part of us and we would be nothing without you. Look what happened to us in Godric's Hollow without you. Never for once consider yourself useless."

Ron nodded under her intense gaze which was focused on him. Her hand warmed his cheek which he was glad for which she removed after seconds realizing where it was. This was the first time intimacy had crept between them both. They both had been accustomed to light hand holding but this was completely beyond the stage. Ron unwrapped his arms and brought them dangling by his side, red in the face.

"You should…drink your tea before it gets cold," Hermione mumbled not meeting his eye, nodding towards the forgotten mug on the stone.

"Yeah," Ron replied taking his tea.

"Good night and by the way, Harry didn't… remind… me of you." Before Ron could see her blushing face, she crept into the safety of the canopy. Smiling to himself, he sipped merrily to the tea, no longer required to warm him as Hermione had done the job well.

ZAHRA HAIDER