We shout

The rain was pouring down as we entered the cafe that afternoon. We had been out simply enjoying each other's company for the day. Nowadays we don't see each other so often. Life has moved on for both of us.

We both graduated from Mahora, both with good grades. I decided to follow up on my magical studies and Setsuna returned to her swordsmanship. I often found myself worrying about her and if she'd ever end up out on a battlefield. The day would come that she would, I knew that. There was no better soldier than her and they knew that too. That's why they had contacted her in the first place. It was, of course, considered an honor to be asked personally by the head general of the royal guard in the magic world. She couldn't decline the offer they had made. And why would she?

We sit down in one of the small booths of the café and I order in hot chocolate while Setsuna settles on some honey tea. A nostalgic feeling comes rushing over me, reminding me of all the times she had been so persistent to order the same thing as me back when we were younger. We're not, anymore. I quickly dismiss the sad thought and look at her with a smile.

"Don't you just love rain? It's so cozy!"

"Yes, you are right." She answers. "And what better way to experience it then inside a warm café." She smiles and let out a sigh as she takes off her jacket.

I sigh dreamily and stare out the window. After a moment or two I allow my gaze to travel however, to the girl in front of me who is currently swirling around her honey crumpets in her cup. I smile, almost grin, at her for looking so focused on the task. So serious. "You have always been like that though.." I think to myself.

"Say… What was the last movie you saw?" I ask her and she immediately focuses on me.

"What?"

"What was the most recent movie you saw?" I smile "Tell me." She lets out a small laugh when I stick out my tongue teasingly.

"Hah, why would you want to know that?" Her eyes sparkle when she says it. This is something that I noticed a lot during our school years. She would always look at me differently then she would others. But it gets to me now more than ever before.

"It's just… I don't know I haven't seen you for so long. It feels like I've missed something."

"Well." She laughs and fidgets a bit under my stare. "You haven't missed much. Last movie I saw was with you." She smiles and looks at me with those bright eyes that are telling me so much, and so little at the same time.

I laugh at her innocent display "Oh my you're no fun at all are you, Secchan?" Opps…Caught up in the moment I let it slip. Her smile fades into a somewhat forced grin and she's playing with the spoon in her hand. For some reason she's embarrassed.

"You know me." She finally says. The words feel heavy as she speaks them. Like there's more to it than that. And I know what it is. I know what it is because it has been there for so many years. Putting up walls between us.

"How are things with your grandfather?"

"They're the same. He's still trying to set me up on dates." I force out a laugh as I say it. Try as he might I will probably never agree to marry anyone who is chosen by my grandfather. Deep down inside I know why. But I've always been reluctant to submit to the blatant truth. Even though it's staring me right in the eyes.

"I could talk to him if you'd like?" She asks. She still wants to protect me, even after all these years I can still hear that cutting edge in her voice as the subject comes up.

"I doubt it would make any difference. But thank you." I smile at her fondly and I notice a slight tint of red on her cheeks. It's barely noticeable, but it's there. I watch her for a few seconds as she continues the play with the spoon.

"Have you ever been in love?"

She's taken aback by the question. My sudden change of topic makes her go stiff. The reaction is so sudden, but to my surprise she doesn't blush all that much, nor does she turn away her face like she usually would when asked such a personal question.

She answers softly after a moment of silence.

"Yes."

I look at her and she's got a distant look in her eyes. Like she's pondering something important. Then she turns her gaze towards me and I can feel it in my chest 'bbmp'.

"Does this person feel the same way you do?" I ask her. For some reason I feel nervous asking her the question so bluntly. I've always felt so sure around her, but now I feel uncertain.

"I... I don't know." she says meekly. "I don't think so."

"What's stopping you?"

"Eh?" I can see that she's surprised by my question. I'msurprised by my question.

"What's stopping you from finding out?" I feel like I'm getting closer to finding out a part of her that she keeps hidden from me. A part I would nothing else then get to know.
She looks at me with her mouth just slightly agape. Like she doesn't know what to say.
And I want to kiss her. The feeling just suddenly washes over me. And I'm scaring myself a little, for acting so nonchalant inside my own head.

"It wouldn't matter." she finally says. And I can see her eyes fall. That shine she had before completely vanished. She looks like she carries her heart on a string and it breaks me, looking at her looking like that. Not a warrior, not a bodyguard. But a young woman. With the world on her shoulders. And I can't stand it.

She averts her gaze towards the now lukewarm cup of tea and she brings it up to her lips and sips on it slowly. I can't shake the feeling of guilt that settles in my stomach.

"Why wouldn't it matter?" I blurt out. I regret it almost instantly. Because it feels like she wants to drop the topic. And I'm right.

"Some things are just not meant to be, Kono-chan." the nickname and the seriousness of her voice throws me off momentarily.
I can see the hurt in her eyes. And I still see it when we leave the cafe and part ways by the fountain at the old bookstore before heading our separate ways to return to our separate lives. I didn't say anything, but I knew. And it hurts me to say even to this day.

That I loved her too.

A/N:

Or is it?
I hope you liked this short fiction. I spent quite some time on making the conversation realistic because I kept letting my fantasy get the better of me.
I thought about making another chapter but with Setsuna's point of view but I've been offered a job abroad and I'm leaving in two weeks so I can't promise anything at all.

Oh and the title comes from the song "We shout" by t.A.T.u. I think the lyrics describe Setsuna and Konoka's relationship in this chapter perfectly.

But please leave a review and tell me what you think about it!