To Hate to Love
By: Sidra
Disclaimer: I don't own Slayers or any of the characters. So, please don't sue me! I have no money, anyways! Thankies ^_^
Author's Notes : This story is in Filia's POV. Oh, it is also Fi/Xel. Enjoy and review!
Love is a strong affection for someone else, they say.
Being a Ryuzoku, it's understood that we are prone to love more easily than other creatures. Yes, we are regular loving machines.
I think not.
Love was an emotion that was not encouraged for us dragon priestesses. The elders would say how important it was to love others, and yet we were not allowed to mate with a male of our kind.
It's actually quite ironic.
I, myself, was a young naïve maiden and the thought of true love would always make me giggle and daydream. I was one of the dragon girls, during my time as a priestess-in-training, who would tell all her friends about her perfect mate and I knew exactly how he looked like and acted.
Yet, he is nothing like my dream guy. Far from it, actually.
I was still the naive, stubborn, and youthful dragoness from the Fire Dragon Temple when I met Lina-tachi.
To this day, I still remember the food fights and the destruction that surrounded Lina-san and her friends wherever they went. Not to mention all of the monsters that they attracted.
Including.him.
I was taught that he was the supreme evil: the killer of our race, the worst mazoku of them all.
The moment I met him that swell of hatred rose in me faster than I myself even imagined. And truth be told, I did hate him. He was annoying, despicable, mysterious, genki and pure evil in too many ways to count.
And yet.
Everything I did did not affect him. Yes, he did get annoyed by my comments and I was always proud when I could get him to twitch a little. Yet, he never would lose his genki façade. His mask, persay.
The fact that I could never tell what he was thinking annoyed me more than anything he ever said about my race. He was my enigma, and I longed to solve him and figure him out.
I hid my curiosity well, so well I don't think he even figured it out. I used every technique in the book to hide it: I got mad; I insulted him; I hit him with mace-sama; I even ignored his existence.
Yes, it appeared to be true hatred. However, the more I wanted to learn about him the more I felt my hatred disappear.
I would not admit it though, so I took out all my confusion out on him. Sometimes, I took it the extremes and I found myself a tad guilty when I truly insulted him.
What? A Ryuzoku feeling guilty over insulting a Mazoku? Yes, all you non- believers, it's true.
Somehow, he had broken down all of the barriers I had surrounded my heart with and had affected me.
It went downfall after that. My heart opened up more and more to him until I could barely stand being in the same room as him.
That's about the time I admitted it to myself: I was in love. Try as I might to forget him, he was there whenever I needed him not to be. He was always there, haunting me.
I didn't try to tell him. I knew that he wouldn't feel the same way so I left the emotions hidden inside of me until the day we parted, hoping they would disappear forever.
Unfortunately for me, they still haven't.
It has been over 100 years since Lina-tachi defeated Darkstar. During that time, I have set up a weapons and pottery shop and have raised Val to the best of my abilities. He is now traveling the world in search of more information on magic and his past.
Although I haven't seen Lina-san, Gourry-san, Amelia-san, or Zelgadis-san at all since the Darkstar campaign, I heard of Lina and Gourry's marriage and of Amelia's and Zelgadis's wedding. I also received word of each of their funerals, which I did attend.
He was there too..
Val had just left home when I heard of my friends' untimely deaths. Amazingly enough, they had all died around the same time, even Zelgadis-san because he finally found his cure.
It was extremely difficult for me to see my friends' coffins being buried in the ground and I could not stop the tears from coming.
After the ceremony, I noticed him for the first time. He was standing by a tree, in the shadows. I hesitated for a second. Should I go talk to him? I asked myself as I stood a few yards away from him.
Before I had the chance to make up my mind, he came over to me. I looked up into his opened amethyst eyes and I saw a hint of sadness in them that I had never seen before.
I tried not to think of my deceased friends, but the longer I looked into his eyes, the more I was overwhelmed by sadness. However, I tried keeping the tears in because I still too much pride and would not let myself cry in front of a Mazoku. Especially him.
Before I even realized what was happening, my resolved crumbled and I had burst into tears, falling into his arms. He stood uncomfortably for a moment while I let out my tears of grief, but soon he hesitantly wrapped his arms around me and stroked my golden hair.
I admit, I loved being in his arms. It was so warm and I knew I would have loved to stay in those arms forever. However, after crying my eyes dry, I felt the awkwardness of the situation and removed myself from his embrace.
I looked back up into his amethyst eyes and an understanding passed between us. Neither one of us said a word as we walked away from one another.
I know if it hadn't been for the utter sadness of the situation we would never have had that embrace. Yet, I find myself thinking about it years later.
I haven't seen him since then. He used to come around when I was raising Val to annoy me and I used to wait for his visits. He hasn't made a visit in over 25 years.
Remember how I said that I did hate him? That's a lie. I do still hate him and I always will.
Love, a bond between two people who care about each other deeply. Yes, I know love well. For I have loved only Xellos Metallium for over a century.
How can I hate the one I love, you ask? It's quite easy actually. Over the years, I have matured and developed into an adult dragoness and I have decided that there is only one way to describe how I feel towards Xellos.
I hate him for the fact that I love him.
By: Sidra
Disclaimer: I don't own Slayers or any of the characters. So, please don't sue me! I have no money, anyways! Thankies ^_^
Author's Notes : This story is in Filia's POV. Oh, it is also Fi/Xel. Enjoy and review!
Love is a strong affection for someone else, they say.
Being a Ryuzoku, it's understood that we are prone to love more easily than other creatures. Yes, we are regular loving machines.
I think not.
Love was an emotion that was not encouraged for us dragon priestesses. The elders would say how important it was to love others, and yet we were not allowed to mate with a male of our kind.
It's actually quite ironic.
I, myself, was a young naïve maiden and the thought of true love would always make me giggle and daydream. I was one of the dragon girls, during my time as a priestess-in-training, who would tell all her friends about her perfect mate and I knew exactly how he looked like and acted.
Yet, he is nothing like my dream guy. Far from it, actually.
I was still the naive, stubborn, and youthful dragoness from the Fire Dragon Temple when I met Lina-tachi.
To this day, I still remember the food fights and the destruction that surrounded Lina-san and her friends wherever they went. Not to mention all of the monsters that they attracted.
Including.him.
I was taught that he was the supreme evil: the killer of our race, the worst mazoku of them all.
The moment I met him that swell of hatred rose in me faster than I myself even imagined. And truth be told, I did hate him. He was annoying, despicable, mysterious, genki and pure evil in too many ways to count.
And yet.
Everything I did did not affect him. Yes, he did get annoyed by my comments and I was always proud when I could get him to twitch a little. Yet, he never would lose his genki façade. His mask, persay.
The fact that I could never tell what he was thinking annoyed me more than anything he ever said about my race. He was my enigma, and I longed to solve him and figure him out.
I hid my curiosity well, so well I don't think he even figured it out. I used every technique in the book to hide it: I got mad; I insulted him; I hit him with mace-sama; I even ignored his existence.
Yes, it appeared to be true hatred. However, the more I wanted to learn about him the more I felt my hatred disappear.
I would not admit it though, so I took out all my confusion out on him. Sometimes, I took it the extremes and I found myself a tad guilty when I truly insulted him.
What? A Ryuzoku feeling guilty over insulting a Mazoku? Yes, all you non- believers, it's true.
Somehow, he had broken down all of the barriers I had surrounded my heart with and had affected me.
It went downfall after that. My heart opened up more and more to him until I could barely stand being in the same room as him.
That's about the time I admitted it to myself: I was in love. Try as I might to forget him, he was there whenever I needed him not to be. He was always there, haunting me.
I didn't try to tell him. I knew that he wouldn't feel the same way so I left the emotions hidden inside of me until the day we parted, hoping they would disappear forever.
Unfortunately for me, they still haven't.
It has been over 100 years since Lina-tachi defeated Darkstar. During that time, I have set up a weapons and pottery shop and have raised Val to the best of my abilities. He is now traveling the world in search of more information on magic and his past.
Although I haven't seen Lina-san, Gourry-san, Amelia-san, or Zelgadis-san at all since the Darkstar campaign, I heard of Lina and Gourry's marriage and of Amelia's and Zelgadis's wedding. I also received word of each of their funerals, which I did attend.
He was there too..
Val had just left home when I heard of my friends' untimely deaths. Amazingly enough, they had all died around the same time, even Zelgadis-san because he finally found his cure.
It was extremely difficult for me to see my friends' coffins being buried in the ground and I could not stop the tears from coming.
After the ceremony, I noticed him for the first time. He was standing by a tree, in the shadows. I hesitated for a second. Should I go talk to him? I asked myself as I stood a few yards away from him.
Before I had the chance to make up my mind, he came over to me. I looked up into his opened amethyst eyes and I saw a hint of sadness in them that I had never seen before.
I tried not to think of my deceased friends, but the longer I looked into his eyes, the more I was overwhelmed by sadness. However, I tried keeping the tears in because I still too much pride and would not let myself cry in front of a Mazoku. Especially him.
Before I even realized what was happening, my resolved crumbled and I had burst into tears, falling into his arms. He stood uncomfortably for a moment while I let out my tears of grief, but soon he hesitantly wrapped his arms around me and stroked my golden hair.
I admit, I loved being in his arms. It was so warm and I knew I would have loved to stay in those arms forever. However, after crying my eyes dry, I felt the awkwardness of the situation and removed myself from his embrace.
I looked back up into his amethyst eyes and an understanding passed between us. Neither one of us said a word as we walked away from one another.
I know if it hadn't been for the utter sadness of the situation we would never have had that embrace. Yet, I find myself thinking about it years later.
I haven't seen him since then. He used to come around when I was raising Val to annoy me and I used to wait for his visits. He hasn't made a visit in over 25 years.
Remember how I said that I did hate him? That's a lie. I do still hate him and I always will.
Love, a bond between two people who care about each other deeply. Yes, I know love well. For I have loved only Xellos Metallium for over a century.
How can I hate the one I love, you ask? It's quite easy actually. Over the years, I have matured and developed into an adult dragoness and I have decided that there is only one way to describe how I feel towards Xellos.
I hate him for the fact that I love him.