a/n: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, and all character and plot rights go to their respective owners. I was feeling particularly depressed, and so I wrote. Please read, and review. Thank you, -Kat
His tears were blue, like Roxas's eyes.
He had waited for him to change his mind, but Roxas never did. Roxas's answer was always the same thing
"We dont feel Axel, so stop pretending."
"But Roxas, what--"
"Stop."
That day Axel had tried to find some thing to say to Roxas to prove him wrong; some argument he could make, a fault in the logic, a loophole...but nothing had come to mind. So he simply stared at the ground, avoiding the gaze of the blonde. And though Roxas couldnt see them, his tears were blue.
He remembered the days he and Roxas had not been confused about their time together. The days when hands accidentally brushing did not make for awkward silence. The days when cold skin and lack of heartbeats didn't matter, the days that they still smiled. And, Axel supposed, his tears were blue then too.
"Roxas, come with me, I want to show you something."
"What is it Axel?"
"The moon Roxas, come see it."
"But Axel, I've seen the moon a million times."
"Yeah, but not with me."
Were all tears blue? Maybe in other places they were happier shades. Axel had never really liked blue. But, tears were tears, after all. What would Roxas think of it, he wondered, A Nobody crying. He would never believe it was possible. Maybe it wasnt, maybe he was special...
"Axel, where were you today?"
"I was out, looking for sunshine."
"Sunshine? c'mon Axel. There isnt any sun in the World that Never Was."
"I know Rox, but you looked so sad, I wanted to bring you some."
"Axel..."
He wasnt special. Just unusual. Maybe even a little fruity. If he was special Roxas would have accepted the gift he had given him a few weeks before the incident. But he hadnt. And Axel had gone to all that trouble to bottle sunshine for Number XIII, to make him smile again. He had put fire in a jar, and made it burn permanantly in Roxas's honor, to give him warmth and light in the world where none was provided.
"What the hell is this?"
"Its sunshine Roxas, like I was looking for earlier. I got it for you because I...I wanna see you smile again."
"Axel, stop it. I dont want this okay?"
"But Rox,"
"Stop pretending like you care what I'm going through and just...just stop it."
The jar had been shattered by his spiteful fellow Organization members, who found his attempts to win over Number XIII extremely amusing. Axel had stared at the glittering shards on the floor for a long time before he made them melt into the ground. He had wanted to cry over it, but he couldnt. And even so, his tears were blue.
He was finally free of all of that. No one would give him assassaination orders or bend his will. No longer was he stuck in that sunless world. There was no more Organization. Not for him, anyway. And he wanted to cry over it. For once, he wanted to see the color of his sorrow. He hated that his tears were blue, but tears were tears, after all. If only he could cry...
"Roxas, make me bleed."
"What, Axel are you nuts?"
"No, I'm not. I want to feel something, anything. Do it."
"No way! I'm not gonna. You'd cry."
"Roxas, we cant cry, remember? Just do this for me please."
"Well..."
The sky above split in two, and glittering blue droplets fell from heavy gray clouds, softly at first but then they began to pound against Axel, soaking him through. Axel cupped his hands together to catch the falling water, and his gaze tipped skyward until he could feel the drops sliding down his face. The sky was crying for him, giving him a chance to release the pain that he was forced to keep inside. The sky was crying, and its tears were blue. But Axel had never really liked blue. Maybe he could change the color, shift his sorrow to some new shade...
"Roxas, I think I love you."
"No you dont. You cant."
"I can, and I do Roxas. I love you, I always will."
"We dont feel Axel, so stop pretending"
"But Roxas, what--"
"Stop."
It stayed the same. Axel could not escape it, just like he could not escape his feelings for the blonde who had given him at least the illusion of a heart.
"He was the only one who made me feel...like I had a heart."
His tears were blue, like Roxas's eyes. And as the thunder rumbled above him Axel realized something.
Nobodies couldnt cry but... His tears had finally come.