"Kelso Gets BUUUUUURNED!"

(During the 6th Season. Ever wonder why Kelso wasn't bringing up his past sex-life with Jackie as much to Hyde during the 6th and 7th seasons like he was in Season 5? Well, I always did. I don't think it was just because Kelso finally let Jackie go. Kelso LOVES pissing Hyde off and getting under Hyde's skin. He wouldn't have stopped trying to annoy Hyde so much. It just isn't like him. So, I ask: why did Kelso stop? When I came up with a possible anwer, I couldn't wait and write a short fanfic about it! NOTE: I do NOT own any of these characters or the show!!! I'm simply a FAN!!!)

(IN THE BASEMENT. EVERYONE--EXCEPT JACKIE--IS WATCHING TV)

(VIEW: DONNA, FORMAN, & FEZ ARE SITTING ON THE COUCH. KELSO IS SITTING ON A CHAIR BY THE BASEMENT DOOR. & HYDE IS SITTING ON A CHAIR NEXT TO THE FREEZER.)

DONNA: (moving uncomfortably. She reaches down on her back on the couch to see what's poking her backside. She feels the object and brings it out in front of her. Its a pair of cuffs. She turns to FEZ) "Fez, would you stop leaving your toys lying around everywhere?" (she hands them over to him.)

FEZ: (takes them) "I forgot them here when I was trying to show Kelso a trick."

FORMAN, DONNA, AND HYDE look a little worried.

FEZ: (notices the looks) "A magic trick, you sick sons-of-bitches!"

KELSO: "Yeah, I don't need Fez to show me any trick that involves naughty toys. Just ask Jackie."

HYDE tensed up.

KELSO: (turns to HYDE and smirks) "Did she ever tell you about that one time in her parents room? Man, that was amazing!!! It really comes in handy too that she was a cheerleader cuz she is quite bendy."

HYDE: (pissed) "Shut up, Kelso."

KELSO: (pretends that he didn't hear him and turns to FEZ) "You see, I had her legs tied up to the--"

HYDE: (begins to march over to him, pissed off)

At that moment JACKIE came into the room. She had heard everything from the basement door and had grown angry. She was sick and tired of KELSO'S inappropriate comments. It made her uncomfortable and, most importantly, it sometimes hurt her boyfriend. And she'd be damned if she saw someone try to hurt her HYDE. She was the only one allowed to do that. She had an idea she had been thinking about for a while and she promised herself that she'd only use it when Kelso had gone too far. And this was the time. Good thing she had worn a skirt today and a blouse that showed off some cleveage. She looked hot and she knew it.

JACKIE: (walked fast over to HYDE, with the idea planted in her head. Once she got to him, she wrapped her arms around him and back-tracked him.) "Hey, baby. I missed you this morning." (She planted him a big kiss that caused him to go directly down onto his chair once he reached it.)

HYDE: (He wrapped his arms around JACKIE'S waist and brought her closer. DAMN, she was a good kisser. He suddenly forgot why he was up to begin with. She used her tongue then and it made him go nuts. He grabbed her tighter and deepend the kiss)

JACKIE: (moaned as she wrapped her fingers around his curly hair. God, how those curls drove her crazy.)

DONNA: "Hey, horn dogs! There are people in the room!"

FORMAN: "Yeah, please stop before I go blind. Or before Fez squirts all over himself."

KELSO: (shocked by the entire scenery, but looks somewhat turned on.)

JACKIE: (pulls away, pink all in the face.) "Sorry." (she readjusts in HYDE'S lap so she's facing the gang.)

HYDE: (clears his throat and places his hands on Jackie's thighs. He plants a small kiss on her bare back. He feels her shivers and grins.)

DONNA: "Well, you came in pretty happy, Jackie. Care to share why?"

JACKIE: "I got great news! So, one of my dad's cabins is being auctioned off next week with almost everything in it!"

FORMAN: "And we care...why?"

JACKIE: "Because it's abandoned and the maids moved out yesterday! There's a science fieldtrip this weekend and I was thinking we could use that as a cover up for us so we can go and spend it over at the cabin instead! I've already given Mr. Tatter our names."

FORMAN: "Not gonna work. I've tried using that trick and it didn't do any good. Red and my mom will find out. They'll call Mr. Tatter and find out if we went or not. They won't fall for it. Couldn't you have come up with something more believable? Come on, you're the devil. I'm sure you can come up with a better trick than that."

JACKIE: "We can say that it's for extra credit--which is, by the way. And don't worry about Mr. Tatter. He won't be going. His teacher assistant is the one going and I've already got him to agree to tell all our parents that we did go."

DONNA: "How'd you manage that?"

JACKIE: (looked at her best friend in disbelief) "Donna. Come on." (she motioned to her outfit)

DONNA (caught on and smiled) "But of course. How else do you pursuade men other than giving them a little dance in a sexy outfit?"

KELSO (couldn't help himself, that comment was too easy) "By doing a sexy dance with NO outfit."

JACKIE felt HYDE tense up and close his plams into fists. She gave KELSO a warning look that told him to stop.

KELSO: (paid no attention to the look) "Good times, good times. Hey, Jackie remember the time where you came home right after cheerleading practice and I was in your bed, waiting right after you got outta the shower? God, we must have done it like 4 times that night."

HYDE: (he began to make movements that were signaling JACKIE to get off of him so he could go and beat up KELSO.) "That's it, Kelso."

JACKIE held HYDE down. She might be little, but she could always hold HYDE down...for a few seconds. Plus, she knew if she stood her ground, he woudn't push her outta the way in fear of hurting her.

KELSO: (still continued) "No, I'm thinking it was more like 6 times that we had our fill that night."

HYDE: "Jackie, get off!"

JACKIE: (Fed up) "No, Michael. YOU had your fill 6 times that night. I, on the other hand, barely got one. And you weren't even the cause of THAT one!"

FORMAN, DONNA, FEZ, & especially HYDE looked shocked and ready to start laughing.

KELSO: (realized he had just been burned, but decided to not go down without a fight) "That's not what you said that night."

JACKIE: "I didn't speak that entire night! You were the one doing on the talking while you were practicing your new little move. Which, by the way, I did not enjoy."

HYDE, FEZ, and FORMAN all laughed as they screamed out to KELSO: "Burn!"

KELSO: (jumps out of his seat and walks toward the door with a big pout on his face)

JACKIE: (trying to hold back her laughter) "Oh, come on, Michael."

KELSO: (slams the door shut)

DONNA:(stands up) "I should go after him."

FORMAN: "Oh, Donna, let him cry. It's what he does best."

DONNA: "No. He'll probably egg my house!"(begins to walk away)

FORMAN: "I'll go with you. You might need some protection."

DONNA: (frowns at him)

FORMAN: "Ok, ok. You just look really hot after fights and well...I'll be damned if I'm not there to see it. And I imagine you in that...gold bikini. With chains around you. No way out." (turns and sees that DONNA left during his little travel to the moon) "Ah, crap." (he walks out after her)

FEZ: "I didn't know Donna had a gold bikini. Where does she hide it cuz it's not in her closet!" (he goes after his friends as well)

JACKIE: (notices the new edition of Vogue Magazine on the table. She walks over to it and once she takes it, she sits down on the couch.)

HYDE: (can't stop staring at JACKIE. Then, his body takes control and he found himself walking towards JACKIE. He reacher out, takes the magazine out of her hands, and throws it out of her reach.)

JACKIE: (gets a little annoyed) "Hey! That's the new--"

HYDE: (shuts her up by planting a heavy kiss on her)

JACKIE: (taken aback for a second, but quickly recovers and kisses back)

HYDE: (he pushes her to lay down on the couch as he climbs on top of her and continues to ravish her lips with his own.)

JACKIE: (slowly pulls away and tries to get her breath back) "Wow. Where'd that come from, baby?"

HYDE: "That...was bad freakin ass." (he traveled down to her neck)

JACKIE: (cracked a smile)"Well, he should have seen it coming. It was only a matter of time before it came and bit him in the ass. Besides, I can't stand seeing someone try to hurt my little Puddin' Pop."

HYDE: (pulls up and looks at her with a sincere smile)" Thank you, Sweetums.

JACKIE: (feels warm and fuzzy) "Awww. I LOVE it when you call me by my nickname." (kisses him gently) "Shows how much you lo--"

HYDE: "Shut your pie hole." (and shuts it for her by a deep kiss)

JACKIE: (she feels something funny on her backside and reaches in to see what it is. Once she grabs and pulls it out, she sees what it was and gives a kinky smirk.) "Hey, baby."

HYDE: (he knew that tone. His little vixen only used it ever so rarely. Whenever she did use it, it was always worth hearing her, so he stopped kissing her.)

JACKIE: (wiggles the handcuffs in front of him) "Thinking what I'm thinking?" (she kisses his neck and leaves little pecks all along his face)

HYDE: (pulls away from her) "Like I'm gonna do whatever Kelso did with you."

JACKIE: (frowns and sits up)"Steven--"

HYDE: "I ain't into that kinda kinky shit."

JACKIE: (arches her brow)

HYDE: (gives in) "Fine, so I am. But, forget it. If Kelso did it with you, then I certainly don't want to."

JACKIE: "A little too late for that, don't you think? You've already done 'it' with me plenty of times."

HYDE: (scowls her) "You know what I mean."

JACKIE: (rolls her eyes) "Steven, this is ridiculous. You can't let Michael get you all upset like this. He only does it to annoy us. Plus, he hopes one day he'll say something real big that'll get us into a big arguement in front of everyone. And we all know he loves watching fights."

HYDE: (acts as if he didn't hear her. Just ignores her as he watches the TV)

JACKIE: (gives a devilish smile and crawls over to him) "Come on, baby." (she whispers to his ear as she lays soft kisses there) "I promise it'll be fun. I'll even do that thing you like so much."

HYDE: (shivers. And it takes a LOT for him to shiver)

JACKIE: (lays more pecks along his neck and face) "Puddin' Pop." (She used that whiny tone that drove him crazy. She knew it annoyed him, but turned him on all at the same time. Then, she layed one on his lips, not able to contain herself any longer.)

HYDE (lets out a groan and grabs the back of her head to pull her tighter against his lips)

JACKIE (lets out a grown as she throws her left leg on the other side of him to get better comforting) "Lets go into the bedroom before the others get back."

HYDE (doesn't need to be told twice. He stands up, taking JACKIE with him while her legs are wrapped around his waist as she keeps kissing him. Once they get to the room, he kicks it shut and locks it. Then, he takes JACKIE to the bed and lays her on top of it.)

JACKIE (pulls him down with her) "C'mere." (Drags him back to her lips.) "Should you wear them or should I?" (she brought out the cuffs with a teasing look in her eye)

HYDE: (stares at them and can't help himself. He needs to ask) "Did you really do it five times?"

JACKIE (puzzled) "What?"

HYDE: "Kelso told me once that you guys did it five times in one night."

JACKIE: "Steven, you know I don't like talking about this. My sex life is personal. It's between me and that significant other. I don't like talking about it to others. And I dislike it even more talking about my exes to my current boyfriend. What Michael and I did is personal. He can go ahead and say all he wants to say, but I don't want to. It would be rude and wrong."

HYDE: "You said something not too long ago in front of everyone. Why not here, to me in private?"

JACKIE: "I only told myself that I would never say anything personal about my sex life with Michael unless I felt that Michael crossed the line. And he did cross that line with that comment. Maybe it'll finally get him to shut up."

HYDE: "Fine." (he looks as if he doesn't like it, but accepts her choice)

JACKIE: (she gives him that smile) "So...we're good?"

HYDE: "Yeah." (He gives her a smile to prove it and kisses her)

JACKIE (the kiss gets hot and heavy fast. It isn't long until her clothes are on the floor. Then she throws the cuffs away) "To hell with this! We don't need it."

HYDE: "Hell no, we don't." (he continues to kiss her)

the time passes...

JACKIE: (wrapped up on him) "That was amazing, baby."

HYDE: I know I am.

JACKIE: (laughs and smacks him lightly)

HYDE: (chuckles) "You were too, Sweetbums." (kisses her head lightly)

JACKIE: (snuggles closer to him and travels into deep thinking. She struggles over to say something to him or not. And she finally decides to say it. She lets out a defeating sigh.) "I rarely had an orgasm."

HYDE: (shocked) "Huh?!"

JACKIE: "Once out of the month, I would get one. I just told him I always got one because I didn't want to hurt him. I would fake it and he was too busy anyways, worrying about himself. He never noticed."

HYDE: (relaxes once he realizes that she's not talking about him) "You seriously faked it?"

JACKIE: "Yeah. Just don't tell him I told you."

HYDE: "I would never." (he cracked a grin once JACKIE wasn't facing him)

JACKIE: (she knew him too well) "Stop grinning."

HYDE: (he starts laughing)

JACKIE (Gets up and puts on her underwear) "Ugh! I knew I shouldn't have told you."

HYDE: (can't stop laughing) "I can't wait til I tell Forman!"

JACKIE: "You're a jerk if you do." (pulls on her skirt and blouse)

HYDE: "And then when I tell Fez!" (he laughs even harder)

JACKIE: "I will never forgive you." (she begins to storm out of the room)

HYDE: (shuts the door once she opens it and turns her around) "Come on, Jacks. Would I ever? I don't even tell them about us."

JACKIE: (gives him a look) "You promise?"

HYDE: (puts up his palm) "Scout's Honor."

JACKIE: (smiles and pecks him on the mouth) "I love you." (Hugs him close to her)

HYDE: (brushes her off and turns around and acts Zen) "Whatever."

JACKIE: (kept smiling. She knew he did too. And very rarely did he say it. But always, she could feel it)