Disclaimer: Doctor Who is not mine. I just play with it for a while, but I put it back after.
Authors Notes: Ok, so this fic is a little weird, I'll admit that, but it's one of those ones' which drove me crazy until I sat down and started to write it. I'm not usually a fan of song fics these days, but as I said, it haunted me in my sleep. The song itself is "I Can Hear the Bells" from the musical Hairspray. (Extra note: This was written before the movie came out, which means more of you will know the song now. Good. It's fantastic!)
For those of you familiar with the song, I've taken many liberties and just used the phrases that suit my purposes so please don't be angry if you're a purist.
As most of you will probably know, I don't have a beta, so any spelling or grammar mistakes are mine alone.
Rose's Memories
Song lyrics
I Can Hear the Bells
By Chaimera
I can hear the bells…
Rose Tyler closed her eyes and turned her face towards the cold winter sun. She was sitting on a park bench beside her best friend and confidant Mickey Smith. The young man sighed heavily as he looked at the young woman beside him. No matter what he said, he wasn't getting through to her. She was making a mistake. The biggest mistake of her life. He said as much, but she refused to listen. In the distance a church bell chimed the hour. Those same church bells would be chiming to celebrate a marriage in two days. In two days that same church was the very place where Rose Marion Tyler would become Rose Marion Sargent. Mickey shook his and fell silent. She wasn't going to listen. Not to him anyway.
Don'tcha hear them chime?
Rose let Mickey's words wash over her. She knew what he was saying. What he though of her upcoming nuptials. She really didn't care. She was doing what he wanted. She was going to have a fantastic life. She was going to marry a man who loved her and who she loved. She knew, deep in her heart that she wasn't in love with him, but, she argued to herself, she could learn. He treated her well and her mother had yet to slap him. She would be happy with Tom.
Why wouldn't she be? He loved her.
Rose's eyes snapped open as a sound carried to her on the cold winter wind. It was barely a whisper amongst the other sounds of the world around them. It was so familiar, so welcome. Her heart ached. She turned to her companion, eyes wide.
"Did you hear that?"
Mickey raised an eyebrow. "Hear what?"
She shook her head. "I thought… It's stupid." She stood. "It sounded like the…"
She stopped when he put his hand on her shoulder. "This is what I mean Rose. I know you want to move on with your life, but you still love him. If you marry Tom you're going to miserable and so is he. You shouldn't do it to him or yourself."
She shook him off. "Stop it Mickey. Ok? Just stop. I am going to marry Tom. I love him, I do."
Mickey just looked at her sadly. "Then why are you trying to convince yourself of that?"
She turned away from him. "We should get back to work."
Can't you fell my heartbeat keeping perfect time.
Her heart hammered in her chest as she walked back to the Torchwood building with Mickey by her side. She knew he was only thinking of her when he voiced his objections but she was happy. At least that was what she kept telling herself. Rose shook those disheartening thoughts from her head and concentrated on the task at hand. There was a group of Foamasi diplomats waiting for her to go and introducing them to her world and try and convince them that it was not the perfect planet to relocate to. She sighed inwardly and picked up her pace.
And all because he touched me…
Rose jumped as a hand rested on her shoulder. She turned around to be faced with a tired but smiling Tom. He brushed some hair from her face.
"Sorry. Didn't mean to startle you."
She gave him a small smile and shook her head. "No, I'm sorry. I was in another world."
Rose backed up against the wall. This wasn't real. It couldn't be. Shop mannequins coming to life? It was the stuff of bad horror flicks and dodgy romance b-movies. She couldn't go any further. She was trapped. The irony of the situation struck her suddenly. After a thoroughly normal life, she was going to die in the most decidedly abnormal way and no one would ever know. Suddenly a cool, calloused hand grabbed hers. She turned her head to be faced with a pair of painfully blue eyes filled with mischief.
"Run!"
Tom smiled and kissed the top of her head. "Not hard. Always been a dreamer you have. How was work? Any scandal?"
"No. Sheila's pregnant again, that's about it."
Tom went to the kitchen and poured them both a glass of wine as he launched into an encounter he'd had with a particularly disagreeable customer. Rose schooled her face to look interested. It wasn't that she thought Tom's job was boring, it was just stocks and bonds weren't really her thing. Pete had flat out refused to let Rose tell Tom what she did, even when they got engaged. She had protested, he had pointed out that Tom knowing would put him in more danger than it was worth. As far as he knew, she was a statistic analyzer for Torchwood, which was a corporate giant. Not a leader in her field in confronting, negotiating with and finding alien visitors.
Yes, he bumped me, my heart was unprepared…
Tom wrapped his arms around Rose's waist from behind, pressing a kiss to her neck.
"So, you ready for the big day?"
She laughed. "Yes. Are you? Not thinking of running off with your secretary?"
Tom pulled a face. His secretary looked like she could have been about two hundred and wouldn't think twice about giving Tom a good slap if he talked back to her and Rose knew it.
"Not exactly, no. What about tomorrow? You and your mum have anything planned?"
"No. She wanted to throw a big hen night, the problem with that brilliant plan is that it would just be me and her."
He turned her around in his arms. "You just need to get out more. Not just work and here. I mean actually out. See the world, live life. You know I love you just as you are, but if you had more of a social life… it couldn't be a bad thing."
"I know, I know, I just… I like being by myself. Thinking, reading… God. Seven years ago you wouldn't have heard me saying that."
"Ahh yes, before your jaunt around the globe. Speaking of, Rose Tyler, where do you want to go?"
She was silent.
"Rose?"
"Hmm, sorry, what?"
"Our honeymoon? You still haven't decide, where do you want to go?"
"Right then Rose Tyler, where do you want to go?"
"Umm, I dunno. Where ever."
"Where ever? I can take you anywhere in space and time and you just want to go 'where ever'?"
She smiled. "I trust you."
He grinned like a maniac. "Ok then."
He bounced around the main console of the TARDIS pushing buttons. The whole room shook and he lurched side ways, bumping into her and they landed in a heap on the metal floor. He lifted himself up and looked down at her, smiling.
"We're here."
"Where's here?"
"Dunno yet. Let's find out."
"Oh." She looked up at Tom and smiled. "I don't really mind. Where ever."
He grinned at her and moved away, sitting down on the couch.
"That's just like you. You've seen everywhere all ready. No where I take you could be special."
She sat down beside him, curling her legs up underneath her. "Don't be silly. Anywhere I go with you is special."
When he tapped me, and knocked me off my feet…
Rose looked around at her desk when she felt a tap on her shoulder. Pete stood there, a frown on his face. She put down the alien machine she had been looking at. It came from a planet called Aractus and was used by the women there to do their nails, but she had decided not to tell anyone that yet. She enjoyed watching them try to figure it out.
"Yes?" She was the picture of innocence.
"Rose, you're getting married tomorrow. Do you have any idea what Jackie will do to me if she finds out you're working. She'll blame me, that's what."
Rose smiled. "It's nice to see you're concerned for me."
Pete grinned back. "Seriously Rose, what are you doing here?"
She shrugged. "I don't know. I'm going to be gone for nearly a month. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't leaving any loose ends."
Pete settled himself on the edge of her desk. "Sure." He motioned to the object she had been looking at. "Figure out what that is yet?"
She smiled and he groaned. "Don't tell me. You've known where it came from all along and it's actually a hairdryer."
"Well you're right about the first part but no dice on the hairdryer. Close enough though. Don't tell the white coats though. I want that pleasure when I get back."
"You can be so cruel. But Jackie can be more so, now go, before I'm kicked out of the house for over working you."
"But you didn't ask me to be here."
"Try telling her that."
"Good point."
Rose stood in the market bazaar watching the world go by. The Doctor had wandered off about an hour ago, he said to find some parts for the TARDIS and that she would find it very boring, but Rose suspected that he probably couldn't bare to stand with her as she agonized over another pair of shoes. He had, she noticed with amusement, perked up when he'd come across her trying to decide whether to buy a black dress with a slit in the side or a red strapless one. He'd suggested she try them on again, so he could make an informed decision and, once he'd seen them, promptly told her she should buy both, then saying he'd been meaning to take her to a planet whose economy turned solely on the nightclubs that were everywhere. She grinned when she remembered the look on his face and decided that the black one would be getting the first trip out.
She felt a tap on her shoulder and turned, expecting to see the Doctor. In stead she found herself face to face with a large, violently… yellow… alien. She should say chest to face, because he stood about three feet taller than she did. She took a step back.
"Um, hi. Can I help you?"
He tapped her on the shoulder again, but with a little more force. "We don't want your kind around here. Scram."
"Hey, I don't want any trouble, I'll just…" But before she could finish her sentence, the man, because though she couldn't be sure she assumed that's what he was, gave her a shove, sending her flying across the small square. She hit a wall with force and lay there, still for a moment, concentrating on getting her lungs working. A familiar face appeared in front of her, creased with worry.
"Rose, you alright?"
She gasped. "Yep. Gimme a sec."
He rolled his eyes and pulled her up. She leant against him, drawing in gasping breaths.
"Can't take you anywhere, can I?"
"He started it."
The Doctor looked at the alien that had attacked his companion. It was moving towards them at considerable speed.
"That's a she."
"Oh."
"Time to run."
"Again?" She groaned as the Doctor grabbed her hand in his and dragged her down the street.
Rose's mobile chirped in her bag as she exited the Torchwood building. She smiled as she saw Tom's name flash on the screen.
"Hey."
"Hey. What are you doing?"
"I'm just heading over to my mums. Gotta get ready for my big hen night."
She heard him chuckle. "Right. Will you be ok?"
"Yeah. I know how to deal with her."
"I can't believe I don't get to see you until tomorrow."
"I know, but I'm sure you'll survive. Though lord knows how you got this far without me."
"Very funny. Simon is throwing me my bachelor party tonight. It's going to be hell."
She smiled again. "Don't be stupid. You'll get too drunk and have a great time. Just don't disappear with any of the strippers."
"Right. Words of wisdom. See you tomorrow."
"Couldn't miss it if I tried."
"Love you."
"You too." Rose frowned at her own reluctance to say the words after she hung up. Shaking her head she drove to her mums' house.
One little touch, now my life's complete.
Rose sat at the kitchen table, a cup of tea in her hands listening to her mother talk on as she micro waved some soup for Sarah. The little girl sat opposite Rose, staring with big blue eyes at her older sister.
"Rose, why are you getting married?"
Rose looked at the little girl. When she didn't answer Jackie chimed in.
"When you love a person very, very much, you get married to them sweetheart."
"So you love Tom?"
Rose nodded at the girl, taking a sip of her tea. The youngest Tyler made a face.
"Tom's boring. He doesn't even know where Raxacoricofallapatorius is."
Jackie rolled her eyes and set the plate in front of the four year old, levelling an accusing stare at Rose, who avoided her gaze.
"The things you tell this child. I swear, she's not going to grow up normal. Raxi what ever. Really."
"Raxacoricofallapatorius."
Jackie sighed when her two daughters corrected her simultaneously. She looked down at Sarah.
"Now, Tom will make a great brother. He always buys you great presents."
The little girl seemed to weigh this fact against her own impressions of Tom before getting distracted by the food in front of her. Jackie sat down across from Rose.
"How're you feeling love? Day before the wedding and all."
"Everyone keeps asking me that. I'm fine."
Jackie nodded. "Right. Well why don't you go and try on your dress one more time, see if there's anything that needs fixing."
Knowing it would be pointless to argue, Rose nodded and rose from the table. Walking into the hallway, she glanced outside at the rain.
It was raining, but Rose didn't care. The grass surrounding them was bright red and the rain itself was purple, but Rose didn't care. She was soaked to the skin, her flimsy shirt clinging to her body. Her body which was currently pressed up against the Doctors. He was kissing her and nothing mattered except for that.
It had started out as a disagreement and developed into an argument. She had stormed out into the rain. Very cliché, her brain had noted absently. After a while he had followed. She ignored him and he said he wouldn't apologise, as he was clearly right. She had made to storm off some more and he grabbed her, turning her to face him. The moment had changed then. She never knew how he could tell her tears from the rain but he had reached up, cupping her face with one hand, his thumb wiping at her tears. That touch had changed her life, because he had kissed her and nothing else mattered. He felt the same way, and no monsters or xenophobic pepper pots could change that. Well, actually, it had been a xenophobic pepper pot that had pointed it out, but she didn't care about that either. She was in the arms of the man she… really, really liked and no one or nothing was going to take that away. Her hand clenched at his leather jacket and he pulled back.
Rose smoothed down the front of her dress and looked at herself in the full length mirror. The dress was pretty enough, she supposed. It had a sweetheart neck line and was strapless. The huge taffeta skirts ballooned out from her waist and the whole thing was studded in tiny silver jewels. Her mum thought she looked beautiful. Rose though she looked like a meringue. But this wedding had been her mothers show from the start and Rose simply didn't care enough to argue with her.
Wasn't that a bad sign? That she didn't really care about the details of her own wedding? She pushed the thought from her mind. Of course not. It was just between work and everything, she didn't have the time. The best option was to let her mum deal with everything. Right?
I can hear the bells, my head is spinning…
Rose's head snapped around from the mirror, her gaze fixed out the window, beyond the rain. She'd heard it again. It was haunting her. Never letting her rest, never letting her heart heal. This time though, just like yesterday morning in the park, it had sounded so real. So close. But it can't be. She knew that. Through Torchwood she had looked at every possibility. There was no way to get back. No way for him to get to her. So, she'd moved on. Well, she'd tried her best. Gotten a boyfriend, then a fiancé. They'd gotten a house together, with doors and carpets. They had the best money could buy. Really good carpets.
Rose clutched her head. It was all too much. The room began to spin and she sat down heavily on the bed, tears beginning to stream down her face. She rocked slightly, attempting to rid herself of the nausea in her stomach. None of this was right. She wasn't supposed to be here. She didn't look up when he door opened, didn't even notice that her mother had entered the room until her arm was around her, her voice making soothing sounds in her ear.
"Oh sweetheart. What's wrong?"
Rose clenched her eyes shut. "I can't do it mum. It's not right. I still love him. I can't betray that."
Jackie looked sadly at her daughter. "Love, he isn't ever coming back. You need to move on. You'll break Tom's heart."
Rose jumped up, turning to face her mother. "Don't you think I know that? Don't you think I've tried? This is all wrong."
Jackie stood, hugging her eldest daughter as she sobbed. When the tears had stopped she sat Rose down beside her.
"Love, we went through this when he proposed. Just think about the wonderful life you've had with Tom so far. Get changed and just take some time to remember why you said yes to him in the first place."
Rose sniffed and nodded, barely even aware of her surroundings as her mother unzipped her dress and helped her step out of the huge white concoction.
An hour later she found herself curled up in a huge armchair in the living room, a fresh cup of tea in her hands. She was alone and all the lights were off, making the room seem dark and foreboding as the rain pounded on the large windows. She watched as it ran in rivulets down the panes.
"… remember why you said yes to him in the first place."
Rose let out a small, mirthless laugh. Why did she say yes? Was it because she loved him? Or was it to escape her own demons? To hide away from the past in a nice house in the suburbs, with a nice man and a marriage certificate? She could never hide from her past. She had come to terms with that. No matter what she did to try to forget the pain, to forget the happy memories, they always haunted her. Many of the people she worked with often though she was a little more than crazy ever since she had walked into the office kitchen, seen a banana and burst into tears.
But that was years ago, she told herself sternly. No, she couldn't forget the past, erase her pain, but she didn't want to. It was all she had left of him.
She concentrated on what her mother had said, trying to remember her history with Tom. Why she was happy with him.
Round one; He'll ask me on a date…
Rose thought back to when she first met Tom. She had been rude.
Rose sighed and looked out the window, swirling the glass of wine in her hand absently, wishing it was something stronger. She grinned to herself. Yes, hyper vodka would go down very easily right now, strong enough to blast her brains into the next century, so she wouldn't have to deal with all this. Her eyes swept the crowded room derisively. It was a reception for those companies who had invested in Torchwood Inc. not knowing what it really did of course. Only a handful of people in the room did. She hadn't wanted to come. It was all schmoozing, smiling and pretending that she was actually interested in what all the bankers and oil tycoons had to say. Soon enough she had escaped into the corner, so she could observe, keeping her eye out for any trouble. Pete had told her she was being paranoid but she was quick to remind him about the last mixer for investors he'd held, where, if it hadn't been for Rose and Mickey a rather large purple gentleman from Ursa Minor would have burst into the room and asked the attendees if they would like a signed copy of his book "Who is the God Person Anyway?". Not trouble exactly, but it would have given the game away. It's not every day an eight foot tall, purple author with three eyes discussed theology with you.
"Not interested in socializing then?"
Rose rolled her eyes and turned to see who dared interrupt her musing. "No. Not really. I like being alone."
The tall man in front of her smiled. He was good looking, with short black hair. Clean shaven, well dressed. Perhaps gay, Rose had mused as she appraised him.
"Me too. Nothing like some quality with yourself." He replied.
"Well, then you can understand that I'm busy at the moment then."
He raised an eyebrow. "That's rude."
She grinned. Another one bites the dust. "It was a bit, wasn't it? Bye."
She turned on her heel and crossed the room, taking a seat. To her irritation, he followed her, sitting right next to her.
"You can't get away that easily. Am I even going to get the name of my verbal abuser?"
She sighed. "If I tell you my name, will you go away?"
He thought about it a moment. "No."
"Then why would I tell you my name?"
"Because I'm charming, witty and the only man in the room who doesn't appear to be terrified of you. Except for Pete Tyler."
Rose gave him a curious look. It was rare that someone was this stubborn around her. She glanced at Pete who was laughing at something the president had just said.
"Yes, well, he has good reason."
The man raised an eyebrow. "Oh. I thought he and his wife were happily married?"
Rose balked. "Ew, oh God, no!"
"What?"
"I'm his daughter."
"So, you're the infamous Rose Tyler. Most eligible bachelor-ette in England."
"And planning to be staying that way for a while thank you."
"Ok, dinner."
"Excuse me, what?"
"Dinner."
"… Comes after lunch? Dinner what?"
"I'll promise that I won't annoy you anymore if you come to dinner with me. Just once."
"I don't think so."
"I have your number."
"How… Fine."
Rose grinned at the memory. He had been so stubborn she just couldn't say no. She had to respect anyone who went after what they wanted with such stubbornness. She closed her eyes.
Rose turned around and he stuck his head out the door.
"Did I mention, it travels in time?"
Her eyes snapped open. No. She would not think about him. She would push him from her mind, for now. She was getting married in the morning. She couldn't have the Doctor gallivanting around her head, trampling any hope of having a normal life in this reality. She really should have expected it though. He did have a fondness of running about the place.
Round 2; I'll primp but won't be late…
She fiddled with the diamond ring on her finger. I was beautiful, and huge. Most other women would have jumped at the chance to have it on their finger, but Rose wasn't sure what she felt when she looked at it. She didn't know what to think right now. She'd always been attracted to Tom. God knows she spent enough time looking good for him.
Rose finished putting the last touches to her make up. She stood back and looked at herself. Not too shabby, she thought with a smile. The blood red dress was a halter neck that was cinched at the waist. It accentuated her hour glass figure. Her hair was loose, in large soft curls. She was surprised she'd kept the blonde all these years. She supposed it was just another trait she had inherited from her mother. She descended the stairs to see Tom waiting for her at the bottom.
"You look beautiful."
"Flatterer."
"I mean it. I do."
"Well," she grinned. "It's our anniversary. I thought I should make an effort."
It had been their one year anniversary. She'd thought maybe, just maybe, she was beginning to fall for him. He was good looking, charming, wealthy (not that that really mattered) and didn't know a thing about aliens, monsters or time travel. He'd taken her to a ball. She'd always loved balls.
"Rose, will you hurry up! The Royal Family of Tyroch are not known for their patients."
Rose sighed as she heard his voice drift up from the control room. "I'm coming."
She slipped into her shoes which were atrociously high, but suited the look and set out for the control room. She paused at the door and watched the Doctor before he noticed her. He was rummaging in his pockets, doing a mental check list, she knew. The essentials; sonic screwdriver, psychic paper… banana. She took a step forward as he shouted again.
"Will you come on."
"I'm here. Relax."
"Really, how long does it…" He stopped mid sentence as she twirled for him.
She grinned at his slightly open mouth. Her outfit was certainly producing the desired effect. The green satin dress clung to her every curve and dipped in the back, showing everything above the curve of her spine.
"Do I look ok?" She couldn't help asking. "For a human?"
"You look…" He didn't finish his sentence, instead choosing to take her face in his hands, kissing her softly. She smiled against his lips, running her hands through his already unruly hair. He pulled back and grinned at her.
"Well, we should be off then."
She walked down towards the door of the TARDIS. She could feel his eyes on her from behind.
"Um… Rose?"
"Yes Doctor?"
"Are you…"
"Yes?"
"Are you wearing any knickers?"
She simply turned, raising an eyebrow before stepping out the door. She could have sworn she heard him growl.
Rose sighed, throwing her head back. This was useless. Every time she tried to think of her time with Tom, she always ended up back with the Doctor. He was just as infuriating in her memories as he was in real life. She groaned and went to refill her tea. This was just like him. Barging in when he wasn't wanted. Disrupting what should be a fantastic life with his… his… She let out another long suffering groan and tried to concentrate on Tom.
Round Three's when we kiss inside his car…
Rose sat back down with a thump. She could hear her mother shouting at the florist on the phone in the hall way. She shook her head. Suddenly she didn't feel so bad about not wanting to be involved. She looked over as the door creaked open and Sarah's large blue eyes peered around it. Rose smiled and patted her knee. The little girl grinned and stumbled over to her big sister. Rose lifted the child onto her lap.
"What's up?"
"Nothing."
"Really? Nothing?"
Sarah screwed up her face. "Did you ever kiss Tom?"
Rose smiled and nodded.
"Eeww!"
"It's not that bad. You'll kiss a boy one day too."
She shook her head obstinately. "Nope. Never."
"Never?"
"No. I can't imagine they taste good."
Tom's lips were soft and questioning as he kissed her. She returned the kiss a little more forcefully. It had been along time since Rose had had sex and Tom's lips had suddenly awoken her presumed lost in action libido. Her hands clutched at his shoulders and he continued on, encouraged.
Rose raised an eyebrow. "Um…"
"And besides, it looks really boring. You just stand there. Right?"
"Um…"
Rose yelped as her back impacted with the main console, but the pain was soon forgotten as the Doctors insistent lips distracted her. She moaned as he moved down her neck, paying particular attention to a sensitive spot just below her pulse. She barely even registered their actions as he grabbed her bum, lifting her up and setting her on the console. She wrapped her legs around his hips as he continued his journey with his mouth downward. He released his hold on her for a moment to rid himself of his leather jacket. She grabbed his head as he licked a trail down her chest.
"Rose? Rose?"
Rose jumped. "What? Oh, sorry Sarah. I was just thinking."
The small girl looked at her questioningly. "About what?"
"… Bananas."
Sarah looked at her as if she knew better. Rose decided it was a look that a four year old should never use.
Round Four; He'll ask me for my hand…
Rose glanced down at the girl curled up in her lap, looking up at her sleepily.
"Are you looking forward to being my flower girl?"
Sarah frowned thoughtfully. "I don't like my dress."
Rose laughed. "Do you wanna know a secret?"
The girl perked up immediately.
"I don't like mine either."
Sarah giggled, a bright sound that seemed to light up the room. Rose smiled.
"Don't tell mum, ok?"
Sarah nodded and yawned. Rose put down her mug down and scooped up the child in her arms.
"Come on. Bed. You have to get your beauty sleep."
She protested tiredly but her head fell onto Rose's shoulder, her eyes drooping. Rose took the stairs slowly, helping Sarah get ready for bed when they reached her room. She sat on the child's bed as she snuggled under the covers.
"Rose?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you think someone will ever ask me to marry them?"
Rose wandered through the house, wondering where Tom was. He'd told her to come by after work but he was nowhere to be seen. She headed for the back garden, knowing how he sometimes liked to sit out on warmer nights. She stepped outside and gasped. There were candles everywhere, flooding the place in their soft, flickering light. There were also roses, lots and lots of roses. She rolled her eyes. Tom knew she though men giving her roses because of her name was tacky. Trust him to pull something like this.
"You look beautiful."
She spun around and saw him standing there, looking for the entire world like a man in love. She didn't look beautiful. She looked like she'd just come from the gym.
"Tom, this is… It's…"
He smiled. "Well, I've made Rose Tyler speechless. It's a mammoth task."
She giggled.
"I hope to do it again." He got down on one knee and Rose had to remind herself to breath.
"Rose Marion Tyler, I have honestly never loved anyone more that I've loved you. Marry me." He held out the small velvet box to her, the diamond glittering in the candle light.
Rose felt her chest getting tight, bile rising in her throat. She never thought…
"Tom, I…" He smiled. "I need to think about it."
She'd gone back to him nearly three hours later, after talking to her mother. Jackie had helped her get her mind in order. She did love Tom. When she'd told her mother that she wasn't in love with him, she'd smiled and told her that would come with time. She'd said yes. She hadn't regretted it until this afternoon.
She looked down at her sister who was watching her with expectant eyes. She tucked the duvet around her and smiled.
"One day, when you're older, you'll meet someone and he'll take your hand and he'll make you feel safe, and he'll love you and you'll be happy. That's all you'll ever need."
"Rose, take my hand!" He shouted above the thundering of explosions and gun fire.
Rose turned back to the young woman who was trapped below them. Rose was balanced precariously on a ledge just below where the Doctor stood, attempting to reach her. He stretched down to her.
"There's no time Rose, we have to go."
"I can reach her. We can't just leave her."
As Rose leant forward there was a huge crash and the world seemed to shake. Her footing lost, Rose yelled as she slipped forward and the Doctor jumped grabbing at her outstretched hand.
"Rose!"
The last thing she saw before the Doctor pulled her up over the edge was the woman disappearing under a torrent of rocks and soil.
The Doctor pulled her off the ground and looked at her. "Are you ok?"
She nodded and he jerked her forward, crushing her to him. "You have to stop doing that."
"I thought I could get to her."
The Doctor pulled back and looked at her, as she wiped dirt and grit from her face.
"I'm sorry Rose, but we have to keep moving."
She nodded and he grabbed her hand, giving it a small squeeze.
Sarah looked puzzled but didn't ask any more questions. Except…
"Rose, will you tell me a story?"
Rose sighed. "Not tonight."
"Please?"
"Sarah…"
"Please. Just one. The one about the evil Lady Cassandra."
Rose smiled and gave up. That was a very good story.
Round Five; we'll book the wedding band…
"So, it's all sorted. You'll love the band Rose. It's that jazz band you two went to see last year. You were raving about them for months and…"
Rose phased her mothers' words out. She was about to go to bed, but had been cornered with last minute details. It was all so close. Florists, dresses, wedding bands. It was too much.
"Ian Dury at the Top Rank, Sheffield, England, 1979? Whadda ya think?"
Rose gave herself a mental slap. She was not going to do this to herself. She refused to torture herself for the rest of her life, thinking about what might have been with the Doctor. He was gone and she was stuck here, on Earth, alone. She shook herself. No, not alone. She had her family, Mickey. She had Tom.
Then why did she feel so alone?
She got up from the kitchen table and walked away.
"Rose? Rose, where are you going?"
"I'm going to bed mum."
Jackie frowned for a moment at her daughters' abruptness, but nodded her head.
"Right love. You get a good nights rest and I'll see you in the morning. The hair and make-up people are coming in at half nine."
Rose nodded and made her way to her room. A good night's sleep. She doubted it. There was so much in her head right now. In particular, two men fighting for preference, one winning by a mile. But he was the wrong one.
"God." She rolled over and looked at her clock. Four in the morning. This was all his fault.
"Damn you, Doctor."
She could practically hear him laughing in her head. She really wanted to slap him right now.
I can hear the bells…
Rose was awake when her alarm went off. This was it. The day that Rose Marion Tyler became Rose Marion Sargent. She stared at the ceiling, listening to the commotion outside her room. Her mother rapped on her door.
"Up Rose."
"I'm awake."
"I want you downstairs in fifteen minutes."
She sat up and threw her legs over the side of the bed. She didn't feel elated or even nervous. What she did feel was much more distressing. There was a leaden weight settling in her heart. Mickey was right, she knew. She was going to make this man miserable. She would never love him like he loved her. She would become bitter that he wasn't the man she loved. It was so unfair on Tom. How could he even hope to measure up to a nine hundred year old Time Lord? He didn't even know what a Time Lord was. He knew nothing of what she has seen. He didn't know that when she woke at night in cold sweat the figures that haunted her dreams weren't figments of her imagination. They were Daleks and Cybermen, the faces of all those they couldn't save, an endless black void, a white wall.
She sat there with her head in her hands. She couldn't leave the poor man at the alter but what was the alternative? Condemn them both to a life of misery and bitterness? She heaved a sigh. This was not exactly how she'd imagined this day. Suddenly Jackie burst into the room in a whirl wind of excitement. Clearly, she was the only one not feeling excited about today. Jackie hauled her daughter to her feet.
"Alright, the people to do your hair and make-up are waiting downstairs. Off you go now."
"Mum, I don't…"
"Really Rose, I don't have time for this. You are getting married in five and a half hours, now go."
"Always wait five and a half hours."
"But…"
Jackie ushered the young woman out the door and towards the stairs. "No buts. Go."
Before she knew it, Rose was sitting in a chair in the kitchen, people tugging at her hair and poking brushed in her face. She was in hell, she thought. There wasn't a black hole or a Satan wannabe in sight, but she was in hell. Suddenly, she whirled her head around again, causing the make-up artist to give a shout of outrage, pulling back the eyeliner quickly. She stayed silent and allowed her head to be forced back into place. She was, she decided, going completely stark raving mad. Crackers. It was the only explanation. Either that or this particular universe was playing a very cruel joke at her expense. The familiar wheezing of the TARDIS' engine had been following her the last few days. It was driving her insane. Well, that is if she wasn't already.
Today's just the start…
"Just look at you."
Rose gave a mental moan as she saw the tears well up in her mothers eyes. She loved her mum, she really did, but she could be that little bit too much at times. This was one of those times. Jackie circled her and adjusted her voluminous skirts.
"You look so gorgeous. The start of a brand new life. I always knew this is how you'd end up. Married to a wonderful man. A good job. Well…"
She reconsidered her last remark and shot her husband a pained look. Pete shrugged.
"It's not my fault she's the most qualified in alien relations on the planet."
Jackie snorted. "Qualified? You make it sound like she was out there getting an education with that man."
Rose rolled her eyes and sent a pleading look towards Pete, who returned it with sympathetic eyes.
"Hey Jacks, perhaps we should give Rose some alone time. You know, get her mind together. There's another half an hour at least before the car comes to pick her up."
Jackie frowned but nodded. "Yeah. Alright love. Don't go ruining your make-up or spilling anything on your dress now."
"I won't mum."
The pair left Rose alone in the room. She looked at herself in the mirror. Well, she didn't burst into tears at the sight of herself in a wedding dress. It was a start. Rose wandered down the back stair to the kitchen. She could hear her mum and Pete in the front living room. There was still time for a cup of tea before the car came to pick her up. Rose breathed deep as she watched the steam pouring from the kettle. The weight in her chest had yet to abate. She could even feel tendril of panic begin to creep up from the pit of her stomach. She hastily set her cup down, her hands shaking violently. Her chest tightened as it had last night. This was wrong. For the second time that morning Rose spun around. This time it sounded completely real, not a whisper on the breeze or an echo. She heard clearly the wheezing and grinding that was the sound of time itself. She rushed back up the stairs to her room and rummaged frantically through her bag, pulling out a long chain that lay at the bottom. On it hung a key. A key that was glowing. It was all Rose could do to keep herself from leaping out the second story window. Moving quietly, with the ease of experience despite her cumbersome dress, so as not to alert her mum or Pete she slipped back down into the kitchen and out the back door, key clutched in hand.
The Tyler mansion was surrounded by woods, but Rose was sure she knew from which direction the familiar, beloved sound had come from. She took off at a run, gathering her huge skirts around her, her pristine white heels sinking into the soft ground. She skidded to a halt in a clearing not too far from the house, her heart in her throat. In the middle, looking completely innocent, was a battered blue police box. An involuntary sob tore itself from her throat as she approached it, her skirts now trailing in the dead leaves and mud. Taking a deep breath she slid her key into the lock. The door swung open and she stepped inside.
I cant contain my joy
'Cause I finally found the boy
I've been missin'
Rose couldn't see the Doctor as the door clicked shut behind her, but there was a grate missing in the floor and the hum of the sonic screwdriver emanated from the gap.
"Doctor?"
There was a clank and some cursing before a head appeared above the edge. His hair was a mess, his face smudged with grease and his glasses askew and his was totally, completely, in no way a memory or a dream, real. He squinted at her for a moment and then rolled his eyes, hoisting himself out of the gap in the floor.
"Oh would you just go away?"
Rose felt sick. "Wh… What?"
He wiped his hands on his already stained shirt and adjusted his glasses, examining her more closely.
"Well, the wedding dress is a first I must say. Never imagined you in a wedding dress before. Well, obviously I've imagined you in considerably less, but I have to say, my imagination isn't very good with bridal wear. My hallucinations usually have you dressed much more appealingly, if they have you dressed at all."
Rose could barely keep up with him, but it was clear he thought she wasn't real. She'd have to put him straight on that one.
"Doctor, I'm real."
He scoffed at her. "You always say that. Now I need you to leave."
"No, look…" She reached out and touched his arm. "I am real."
"Ahh, you seem to forget that my mind is brilliant, and easily capable of tricking my senses into feeling something that isn't there."
It was Roses' turn to roll her eyes. "You're not that brilliant. Why won't you believe me? Somehow you're here. I'm here. This is real. Why won't you believe that?"
He took a step back and his face darkened. "Because you're not her. You are my brain torturing me, making me hope for something that will never be. You are torture. Nothing but a cruel joke. An hallucination."
Rose stepped back, desperately trying to hold back her tears at the venom in her voice. "So that's it then, I've been down graded from your companion to an hallucination?"
"Don't be so hard on yourself." His tone was mocking. "You've been downgraded from the love of my many lives to an hallucination. Now…" He bellowed. "Get out!"
Suddenly anger bloomed in her mind and all Rose could see was red. The Doctors head snapped back as she slapped him.
"Fine. Believe your bollox, always trying to rationalise things. Never believing that maybe, just maybe, the universe might cut us a break."
She gathered her skirts about her, tears flowing freely now, noting the shock that was slowly registering on the Doctors face.
"If you'll excuse me, this hallucination has to go and get married."
Rose ran out of the TARDIS, the door slamming behind her. She kept running, her vision blurred through her tears. This was more than she could take. The Doctor had stopped believing in her, to such an extent that he couldn't even believe that she was standing right in front of him. Suddenly she tripped, falling forward. She crashed to the ground in a mess of tears, limbs and fabric. She sobbed as she attempted to pick herself up but her arms seemed to have given up with the rest of her and collapsed beneath her weight. She felt pathetic, like nothing. Suddenly strong, cool hands were on her, lifting her up slightly. She pushed some hair out her face and looked up, in to the Doctors face, which was a whirl of emotions. He fell to his knees in front of her, his hands still on her upper arms.
"You… You're real?"
Rose sobbed again, nodding her head, unable to speak.
The next moment she couldn't have spoken even if she'd wanted to. The Doctors arms were around her like bands of steel. She could barely breath but somehow she didn't care. All the time he was speaking, whispering into her hair.
"I'm so sorry. I can't… I'm sorry, I thought… God, you're really here."
He pulled back and kissed her fiercely, his mouth hard on hers. It wasn't a romantic or tender kiss, rather that of a desperate man. She kissed him back just as desperately. This time she was the one to pull back, still crying, but for different reasons.
"So, you convinced I'm real now?" She hiccupped as she spoke.
He grinned at her and scratched the back of his head. "Sorry about that. I've taken to hallucinating about you fairly regularly and…"
She nodded, not needing more explanations. She leant forward and pressed her lips to his softly.
"I can barely believe you're here either. I've been hearing the TARDIS for days. I thought I was going insane."
"Rose? Rose?"
A voice drifted through the trees from the direction of the house. Rose jumped up.
"Oh God, Tom."
Then she paled visibly and the Doctor stood, steadying her as she swayed precariously.
"Oh God! Mum. She's going rip us apart."
The Doctor stared at her as if she had gone insane. "What about you're mother? Who the hell is Tom?"
She stared at him wildly. "What time is it?"
"A quarter to one, why?"
"Jesus. Shit. Tom is the man I'm supposedly marrying in fifteen minutes. I was about to leave for the church when I heard the TARDIS and ran out here."
"You're getting married? Well, that would explain the wedding dress, but I just assumed I hadn't gotten enough sleep and my brain was playing tricks, but of course you're real so I shouldn't be surprised. Married. Well, we're going to have to something about that and…"
"Doctor!?!"
The man in question looked around to see a familiar face. "Mickey boy! Surprise."
Mickey strode up to the pair, raising an eyebrow as he surveyed the state of Rose but not commenting. There was a squeak from somewhere around his knees and both the Doctor and Rose looked down to see a large pair of brown eyes staring up at them questioningly.
"Sarah!" Rose swept her younger sister up in her arms and the young girl used her fingers to wipe away some of the tears lingering on her cheeks.
"Why are you crying?"
"I…"
Mickey cut in before Rose could answer. "How the hell did you get here? Your mum is pitching a fit. Seriously, big trouble." He addressed them both.
The Doctor shifted from foot to foot nervously. "I don't know how I got here. I'm just… here." He finished lamely. "Jackie's going to rip me limb from limb isn't she?"
Mickey grinned. "That's only if you're lucky." Suddenly he smacked the Doctor on the back good naturedly. "Talk about timing mate. If there was any time you needed to find your way through here, it's now."
"I… What?"
"Stopping Rose from making the biggest mistake of her life is what. Toms a good guy but… You were always it for our Rose. No competition."
Rose blushed violently and the Doctor looked smug. Sarah looked between the three people.
"Rose, are you still going to marry Tom? Mummy's going to be really mad if you don't, even though we hate our dresses. Who's he? Why's his hair so funny? And big?" She finished, pointing a finger at the Doctor.
Rose laughed. "Sarah, this is the Doctor. Doctor, this is my sister, Sarah."
Sarah gasped, here eyes wide as the Doctor took her tiny hand. "Nice to meet you Sarah."
The little girl was agog. She twisted in her big sisters arms. "Are you really the Doctor? Have you travelled to Raxacoricofallapatorious? Did you really banish the evil Lady Cassandra? Do dogs on Barcelona really have no noses? The planet, not the city." She clarified as she gazed at the Doctor.
The Doctor looked slightly shell shocked at the bevy of questions fired at him. "I… Um… Rose what have you been telling her?"
The blonde woman grinned. "Bed time stories."
Suddenly her face turned serious and she turned to Mickey. "Mick, what the hell am I going to do?"
"Well, not getting married would be a start."
Rose ignored the Doctor and looked to her friend who shrugged. "Go with the Doctor Rose. We all know it's what you want."
Rose looked uncertainly at the Doctor. "Would… Would that be alright? I mean, do you still… want…"
The Doctor cut her off with a quick kiss, ignoring the loud 'eww' from the child in her arms. "Of course you stupid ape."
"But…" She shook her head. "What about Tom? Leaving him at the alter without even an explanation. Just disappearing. It's cruel."
Mickey put a hand on her shoulder. "What would you say to him Rose? 'Sorry, but my alien lover just found his way back from an alternate universe and I'm going back with him'? It would be just as bad, on both of you. I'll take care of it."
"You would do that?"
He nodded. Rose put Sarah down and flung her arms around Mickey. "Thank you." She whispered and kissed him on the cheek.
"Oh God, what about Mum?"
Mickey balked. "Now, that I…"
"What about me? Rose, what the hell are you doing out here. We're so late!"
They heard Jackie approaching through the trees. Rose glanced at the Doctor. She's never seen him look more terrified. Jackie burst into the clearing and took in the scene. Her eyes settled on the Doctor and her face turned to thunder. She launched herself at him.
"You! Why can't you leave us in peace? Just go. Leave us alone. You said you couldn't get back, it took her years too…"
Rose jumped in front of the Doctor, stopping her mother. Mickey joined the foray, grabbing Jackie and hauling her back as much as he could while the fought against him.
"Mum, stop it. This isn't his fault."
"Isn't it?" If looks could kill, the Doctor was sure he'd be out of regenerations.
"He comes waltzing in and steals you away showing you things and taking you away from me, from a normal life and then he dumps you here, heart broken, and as soon as you have a chance at a good life, here is again."
She looked directly at the Doctor. "Why can't you leave us alone and let her be happy?"
The Doctor opened his mouth to answer but Rose beat him to it. "Don't you see Mum, I never could be happy here. Not with Tom, not with anyone."
"But you said yes."
"I don't love him." Roses' thunderous voice caused her mother to stop thrashing. "This is what you wanted for me. A normal life, a house and a husband and no aliens or running, but that's not me. I could never be happy with that, but that's what you wanted for me, not what I wanted for myself. He…" She pointed at the Doctor. "He makes me happy."
"But, you're getting married."
"To a man I don't love. We would never have been happy together. Let me go Mum. It's time for me to go."
Jackie let out a small sob and Mickey let her go. She threw her arms around her daughter. "For good?"
Rose looked at the Doctor questioningly.
"I don't know Jackie. If I can get us back again, I will."
"Mum, this isn't how I was meant to live."
Jackie sobbed again. "I just wanted the best for you. I just wanted you to be happy."
"I know Mum." Rose was crying now too. She pulled away from her mother and sent a meaningful look towards the Doctor. He nodded, understanding that she needed to make this quick and as painless as possible. He moved towards the TARDIS, slipping inside, leaving Rose to say her goodbyes.
She hugged Mickey fiercely and he gave her a kiss and a cheeky wink before her mother engulfed her.
"Oh Rose."
"It's ok Mum. I'll be ok. I'll be happy."
"Try to come back."
Rose nodded and turned to her little sister, who was surprisingly, the least emotional. "Rose, if you come back, will you bring me a present?"
Rose giggled and hugged the girl, who put her short arms around her neck. "Of course I will. I'll miss you."
"I'll miss you too, but it sound like more fun with him." She pulled back and looked at her big sister with large, serious eyes. "He'll hold your hand."
She nodded with a finality that only a child can pull off and moved to her mother.
Rose stepped towards the TARDIS and turned to her family. "I love you all, so much."
Before she could cry anymore she hurried into the TARDIS and shut the door behind her. The Doctor looked up at her from the main console with concerned eyes.
"Are you ok?"
She shook her head. "Not right now, but I will be." She gave him a wan smile. "You figure out how you got her yet?"
"Yup. Quite brilliant of me in fact. The TARDIS detected another rift and managed to…"
Rose held up her hand and stopped him. "I'm much to tired from your techno babble right now."
He put on a look of mock affront. "I do not babble."
She rolled her eyes and lifted her voluminous skirts, walking up the ramp. "Right. I'm going to have a bath and get out of this thing." She walked past him towards the interior of the TARDIS but he caught her arm, pulling her to him, he kissed her gently.
"I'm so glad to have you here. I never thought…"
"I guess the universe gave us a break."
"Right."
"You know," She commented as she pulled away from him. "You get us into the vortex fast enough and you might be able to join me in the bath."
She giggled as his hands flew over the controls and sighed as she heard the time rotor wheeze to life. She paused half way down the corridor, listening to it. It sounded like home.
I can hear… The bells!
End.