The receptionist was polite and handed her a clipboard, nodding politely when she thanked her and pointing to the waiting area. She ignored the fact that they'd once gone to the same high school and the lack of subtlety when she recognized her former schoolmate, and took a seat in one of the uncomfortable metal chairs. The questionnaire was simple and easily completed and given back to the receptionist and she proceeded to wait awkwardly until her name was called.
She hadn't intended on being there at all. In fact, in her whole life she never imagined herself in a situation like this. But yet, here she was, close to a nervous breakdown because she couldn't straighten out her problems on her own. Not that she had any problems. Not mentally anyway. Okay, so she was human and had her issues but certainly none that were so dire as to come here. To come to a psychiatrist's office was, she laughed at the pun, insane.
When it was suggested by a friend that she come here, she was offended. 'Only crazy people go to shrinks,' she'd said defensively, 'and I'm not crazy.' But her friend persisted, explaining that in this era it was perfectly normal to seek help like that. She'd shrugged it off, even as her friend made an appointment for her without any plans to go along with it. It wasn't until things got crazy at home, as they often did, that she broke down and realized how much she needed someone to talk to.
Flashback
"You look tired, Kasumi. How are things at home?"
Kasumi sighed, not wanting to burden Tofu, whom she cared for greatly, with her problems. "They're fine. Father's had one of his down periods but he's over it now. Ranma and Akane are as vibrant as ever; there's always something going on with them. Nabiki is so independent, except when it comes to her meals and laundry..."
Tofu studied Kasumi closely as she spoke, then nodded. "What about yourself? Are you taking any time in the day for yourself?"
This question startled Kasumi. Time for herself? She hadn't had any real time like that since her mother had gotten ill that personal time seemed like a foreign concept. "Oh. Well, I get up really early in the mornings to fix breakfast while everyone is still asleep and the house is so quiet that sometimes it feels like I'm practically on a deserted island."
"No, Kasumi, not just time alone. Personal time. When do you do anything just for yourself?"
Tofu received a blank stare.
"I thought as much." He grabbed a piece of paper and a pen and scribbled something down before handing it to Kasumi. "Here."
Kasumi looked at it and frowned. "A psychiatrist?"
"He's a friend of mine, knew my dad well. He'll be able to help you."
"I'm not crazy."
Tofu shook his head. "I'm not saying you are. But Kasumi, you do seem awfully lonely, like you're missing something. Dr. Kimura will be able to help you figure some things out."
End of Flashback
"Kasumi Tendo."
She jerked her head up and stood awkwardly for a moment before grabbing her purse.
"The doctor is ready for you."
Kasumi nodded then went quietly through the doorway into the office.
It had an odd feel, Kasumi noticed it right away. The office was well decorated but sparse. No pictures on the wall, no magazines or other such items on the tables, simply a cluttered desk in one corner and a seating area in another. It gave the illusion of feeling cozy and homey but was lacking all the details that would have truly made it so, making the office seem much more impersonal to Kasumi than she would have liked.
There was an older gentleman seated in one of the larger chairs. He stood when she came closer, smiled and held out his hand. "Kasumi Tendo, I presume?"
Kasumi nodded.
"Good. Nice to meet you. I'm Dr. Kimura." He sat back down and looked at a legal sized notepad. "Tofu recommended you, I see. Now, what seems to be the problem?"
Kasumi hesitated before speaking. "I don't normally do this, doctor. Talk about my problems, I mean." She paused and looked at Dr Kimura. "I don't know what to do."
The old man smiled. "Just talk, Kasumi. All you need to do is talk and then I'll see what I can do for you, okay?"
Kasumi nodded and continued. "Tofu seems to think I need to be here. He says I'm lonely, but I don't really think so. I just don't usually have a lot of time to focus on myself. Most of the time, well, it's just easier not to acknowledge that there are any problems at all. Especially with my family. They're so caught up in their own issues that all they want is for me to just smile and help them out with whatever's going on in their own lives.
"Father is well.. he wouldn't like to know that any of his daughters have any problems at all. He seems to live in this dream reality where life has just stopped for him. He's almost constantly depressed and gets upset at the smallest things. My sisters and I have gotten where we don't even pay attention anymore, let alone talk to him about our own lives.
"Nabiki, she's got her own life. She's so smart that she deals with whatever issues she has so pragmatically that there's little I want to burden her with. And Akane... well, she's not a little girl anymore but Akane's got too many problems of her own to even realize anyone else's. Mr. Saotome is just too oblivious and Ranma... Ranma tries hard to make sure everyone else is okay that he's got more on his plate than he can handle.
"But when I'm not cleaning, I'm taking care of everyone else's messes, always finding ways to clean up their lives that I barely know what to make of my own. I feel like I'm stuck, taking care of people all my life. The only problem is that these people don't really need me. I know that eventually I'm going to run out of people to take care of, and that scares me."
She sighed and looked at the man sitting calmly in front of her. His glasses had slipped down on his nose and with his salt and pepper hair he looked much older than she guessed he was. She waited for him to stop scribbling whatever notes he was making and frowned.
"I just.. Without these people I don't know who I am. They help me remind myself of all my little neurosis and basically what makes me tick. But at the same time, they frustrate me because it never stops and I don't feel like anything is changing, especially in my life."
"What do you want from your life?"
The question was simple and yet it confused her. No one had ever asked Kasumi what SHE wanted. Not since the death of her mother. Her mother had only ever been the one to consider what it was Kasumi wanted, yet Kasumi knew now how much her mother had actually sacrificed. What did she want? Kasumi didn't know. Yet she felt... something... stirring within herself.
Kasumi was silent as she thought about the question and what answer she would give. "I think," she began, "I think want to help people. I want to be able to give them comfort when they need it, to ease their pain. I want to be a nurse. In a hospital. Maybe a pediatric nurse or oncology - I remember the nurses from when my mother was sick..."
"Miss Tendo, let me be frank. I think you are strong willed and very intelligent. I also believe that no one has ever given you a chance to figure out anything beyond what to fix for dinner. You have great potential and all you really need is to figure out the direction you want your life to take. Do you want everyone to always be so dependent on you or do you want to learn how to become independent?"
"I want to be known as more than 'that poor Kasumi Tendo'. They don't think I can hear them when I go to the market but I know what people say about me. That I will never get married because I have no life of my own. That they think there's something wrong with me mentally. That my father.. has used me as a replacement for my mother. They smile at me and talk to me and at the same time they treat me like a leper."
Dr. Kimura shifted his position to get closer to Kasumi. His eyes met hers and for a second, she was a little frightened.
"Miss Tendo, you came here because Tofu was worried about you and now I see why. He cares so much about you and wants you to be happy but I don't think you know what happiness really is. No one is going to change your life for you. What I want you to do tonight is think about your life. Think about what you like and dislike about it. Think about what you want for yourself. Once you've done that, I want you to think of all the ways it is possible."
Kasumi frowned, skeptical of the idea that she would receive "homework" from this man who hardly knew her. "Is that.. I don't know.. right?"
"What do you mean, Miss Tendo?"
"Well, it just seems that my figuring out all the things in my life that I can't have is.. well, counterproductive. It'll just make me end up more unhappy."
Dr. Kimura nodded. "Yes, perhaps it is counterproductive but only if you choose not to go any further with it. If you refuse to take responsibility for your own happiness and leave it to others to decide what they think you should do with your life, absolutely. You'll never get anywhere with just wishing, Kasumi. At some point in your adult life you have to make a choice: Will you allow your insecurities overwhelm you and decide for you every little action you take or will you take the iniative and do something with your life?"
"But--"
"But what will the neighbors think, right? But how will my father react? Here's a little hint, Miss Tendo... No one ever succeeded in this world by worrying what their neighbors thought of them. They saw a need, whether in society or themselves, and they made an effort to fulfill that need. Now, do you have the courage to do what it takes or do you plan on being 'counterproductive'? Because I can tell you now that it would be a waste of your money and my time."
Kasumi was silent and Dr. Kimura looked at his watch.
"Think about what I told you, Kasumi. I expect a full report next week of all the things you have planned for yourself. Don't disappoint me."
Kasumi nodded and gathered her things silently, hurrying from the office.
Chapter 2
On the long walk home, Kasumi thought about what had occured with Dr. Kimura. A myriad of thoughts floated in her mind. How strange a thing to do nothing but give advice to strangers and listen to them talk all the time. Was it because he was more normal than everyone else or just better trained to handle his problems that made Dr. Kimura do what he did? What did she want from life?
What did she want? WHAT did she want? What did SHE want? What did she WANT? The question rolled around in her head, and she found herself feeling the question on her tongue for the first time in her memory. She spoke it aloud, ignoring the looks from strangers on the sidewalk. What did she, Kasumi Tendo, want from life? Did she want anything at all? Had she just been given what she wanted; a chance to voice her fears and frustrations to someone other than her journal? She wanted world peace. Admirable but not at all realistic. An end to hunger? Again, predictable and not all logical. Some quiet time alone where she wasn't doing some sort of chore? Kasumi shrugged. Every great idea starts out small. A candlelit bubble bath with a glass of wine? Even better.. a candlelit bubble bath with T-
"Kasumi?"
Akane was standing in front of her. How did Akane get here?
"You're blocking the door."
Oh, she was home.
Kasumi blushed and nodded, moving out of the way. "I must have..."
"Sorry, can't talk! Training, you know." Akane interrupted as she burst past Kasumi and waved. "I'll be home in time for dinner, okay?"
"Yes;, yes, of course. Have a good time, Akane."
A chance to be more than just Akane's older spinster sister. The opportunity to be more than just the cook, the maid, for her family to see her as an adult. To go to nursing school. Move out of the Tendo residence. Have a career. Meet someone and fall in love. Get married. Have babies. Discover herself.
Chapter 3
"Kasumi?"
Kasumi jumped and wheeled around. Ranma stood in the doorway, casually leaning against the frame.
"Oh, Ranma! You scared me. I didn't think anyone was home..."
He shrugged. "I left school a little early. Whatcha doin'?"
"I wanted to use the internet but I can't quite figure out how to turn the computer on," Kasumi admitted shyly.
Ranma grinned. "Thinking about trying those dating sites?"
Kasumi laughed and shook her head. "I was actually thinking about schools."
"You mean college?"
"Er.. yes. It's nothing, really, just something I'm curious about.."
Ranma smiled. "That's cool. Here, I'll help set ya up and then leave you to it."
"Ranma?"
"Yes, Kasumi?"
"It might be best if you.. don't say anything to anyone about this.."
Ranma nodded in understanding. "Don't want the old man finding out and blowing a gasket, huh? Yeah, sure, it's our little secret."
Chapter 4
With the right instruction, Kasumi soon found exactly what she was looking for. Her list of choices were great and hard to chose from, but eventually settled on what she felt was the right decision. The Japanese Red Cross College of Nursing had satellite schools around Japan and one of them was only a train ride away from Nerima. With Ranma's help, she filled out the online application and clicked send, and an immediate sense of accomplishment washed over her.
Ranma turned to Kasumi. "Nursing? Are you sure you can handle it?"
Kasumi shrugged. "I'm not sure. But I think I'd like to find out."
"This is a big step for ya, huh?"
She took a deep breath. "Yup."
"Are ya scared?"
"Terrified."
A moment of silence passed before Ranma spoke again. "Hey Kasumi.. can I ask you something?"
"Okay."
"Why now?"
Kasumi was quiet for a moment. "I saw Tofu the other day. He got worried about me because he said I looked more tired than usual. One thing lead to another and he made an appointment with Dr. Kimura, the phsychiatrist in town. Yesterday, when I said I was out running errands, I was actually with him. Dr. Kimura was really nice and pretty insightful. He told me that there are some things about my life that I need to figure out, primarily what it is that I want out of my life. Pretty selfish, huh?"
"No, no way. Sometimes you gotta take care of yourself before you can open yourself up to others."
"Well, Ranma, what I think I want to do is go to school. I missed that chance after I graduated high school. Most of the kids I grew up with have already finished college or moved on from Nerima. Actually, the receptionist at Dr. Kimura's was classmate of mine. And I think that I want to be a nurse."
"You take care of all of us pretty well."
Kasumi smiled outwardly and yet found herself mentally cringing at his words. "Thank you, Ranma. I appreciate your help, but I hope you know that my days of playing maid are probably numbered"
Chapter 5
The envelope was on the kitchen table when Kasumi saw it for the first time. Propped up against a vase of freshly picked flowers, it looked harmless but Kasumi knew there was much more to it than what it seemed. Inside was her future, one word that would decide the rest of her life. She eyed the envelope warily then moved to pick it up. Her breath was heavy and her pulse was quick. This was it, she told herself, no backing out now. The rest of your life is about to change.
'Dear Ms. Kasumi Tendo.
Congratulations on your acceptance to The Japanese Red Cross College of Nursing.
We, at The Japanese Red Cross College of Nursing) , recognize the importance of your decision and the commitment it entails to learn and develop by means of association with an outstanding center of learning.
This institution) offers not only an a superb educational experience, but also promotes individual growth and development.
We encourage you to visit our campus if you can. If you have not made a commitment as to where you will attend college next semester, I hope you will carefully evaluate the information contained in this letter and seriously consider our facilities.
My very best wishes to you for a successful experience, and I sincerely hope you will be joining us here at The Japanese Red Cross College of Nursing in the fall.
Sincerely,
Takashi Ueda'
The feeling of elation that came from inside Kasumi bubbled and churned from deep down until it could no longer be contained, and the sound that erupted was that of pure and total joy. It filled the kitchen, made its way through the living room and filled the entire house with its noise.
Chapter 6
After a few moments, Kasumi heard herself yelling and cheering and realized how strange it sounded. She hadn't been so free with her emotions in a very long time and the feeling it gave her was foreign. She immediately silenced herself, unsure of what she'd say if anyone else had heard. The thought of having to explain the letter in her hands to her father or Akane...
Kasumi stuffed the letter into her pocket and immediately began preparing dinner, humming to herself and dancing as she moved about the kitchen.
"Good news?"
Ranma's voice in the doorway surprised her and Kasumi jumped, causing the knife in her hand to slip. She let out a yelp as it cut into her finger instead of the cucumber and immediately thrust her finger under cold water.
Ranma was by her side in a second, taking her hand into his own and guiding her over away from the sink, turning the water off and wrapping her finger tightly in a towel.
"No, no, stop the bleeding first by applying pressure. Then bandage it. When it's stopped bleeding, you can clean it later." He took out the first aid kit Kasumi kept in one of the cabinets and grabbing a band-aid.
For a second, Kasumi was amazed at how gentle Ranma was as he wrapped her finger in the bandage. She found herself blushing at the attention he was paying to her, then deeper as she imagined.. someone else.. being as attentive.
Ranma smiled as he finished and let go. "There. All done. It'll smart for a while but it wasn't deep so you'll be just fine."
"I'd forgotten how fast you react to everything," Kasumi said, hoping he wouldn't see the color on her cheeks that hadn't been there a moment ago.
Ranma shrugged. "Life with the old man, you learn to be quick."
"You're also very good at mending cuts."
"Another something I had to learn from Pop. Out training in the middle of nowhere, you gotta know how to take care of yourself in case something happens, and trust me, it usually does. I picked up a few things through experience, everything else I learned from doctors or healers from the villages we came across."
Ranma looked at the letter on the table. "Anyway, I heard you yelling. Must have been good news because you made all kinds of noise."
Kasumi grinned. "I got in."
Ranma's eyes lit up. "The college? Really?! Congrats!"
Kasumi jumped eagerly into the awaiting congratulatory hug. Ranma's arms felt strong and comforting, powerful yet gentle as he squeezed her small frame lightly. When the hug broke, his hands stayed on her waist and Kasumi could see the blush that had spread on across his cheeks.
She smiled sadly, seemingly able to read his thoughts. "Ranma, I.."
"Tofu."
"Afraid so." Kasumi patted his cheek lightly. "Come on, I have a celebratory dinner to fix."
"You gonna tell the family tonight?"
Kasumi shook her head as she went back to the vegetables. "I'm not ready yet. I thought maybe.. I'd give myself a chance to be happy about something before they tried to take it away from me."
Chapter 7
"Take what away from you?"
Kasumi's heart sank as Akane entered the kitchen and grabbed a slice of cucumber, popping it into her mouth as she stared questioningly at her sister.
"Oh.. you know.. the pleasure of seeing your face at dinner. I'm working on a great new recipe that Mrs. Omata shared with me at the market! It's got cucumbers and miso and -"
"I get it. Sounds great." Akane's hand waved her off.
Kasumi inwardly breathed a sigh of relief. Akane got bored when talking about housework and Kasumi had to admit that she'd used that knowledge to her advantage on more than one occasion. This time had worked like expected and Akane left the kitchen without further question or comment.
Chapter 8
The next morning, Kasumi went about her chores like normal. She waited until her sisters and Ranma had left for school and her father and Mr. Saotome were properly occupied and heading out.
Kasumi took her time, trying not to hurry in her excitement about the errand she was undertaking. She took the train north, and found that she enjoyed the solitary trip as she watched the scenery passing by. As a child, she had taken day trips with her mother, but they stopped when her mother became ill. When she got older and her mother died, the chances to leave Nerima disappeared almost completely. It was nearly an hour before she disembarked from the train and walked the short walk from the station to her destination.
Arriving at the Japanese School of Medicine was a shock to Kasumi. She was overwhelmed by the sheer beauty of the campus and the amount of students who attended the prestigious university. It was a large campus. The buildings were simple brick structures surrounded by masses of trees and open grass lawns. Students were everywhere. Some sat under the trees or played ball. Some students stood talking in groups while others hurried from class to class.
For a second, a wave of doubt crashed into Kasumi and she was tempted to forget the whole thing and go straight home, but she knew that if she did that, she would never have the guts to try something like this ever again. Kasumi took a deep breath, gathered her wits and walked right up to the nearest student.
She could feel herself blushing but the boy seemed not to notice as he politely directed her to the Administration office. Kasumi stilled the thoughts raging in her mind and without hesitation, entered the office.
"My name is Kasumi Tendo. I was accepted to attend nursing school here and I'd like to speak to someone to arrange it."
Chapter 9
Kasumi could not help but fidget as she sat in front of the admissions officer in front of her. She watched as he read through her file, looking over her high school transcripts and application form. Deep down, she knew that she'd already been accepted, but his penetrating stare at the file in front of her made her nervous.
Finally, he put down the papers and fixed his gaze onto her.
"Well, Miss Tendo. Congratulations. It seems that everything is in order. You'll be in the freshmen class for nursing for this coming semester, which starts in two weeks. Your financial aide has been accepted and includes all of your textbooks for the year and any other school issued items you may be receiving in the course of your year here. Seeing as you also will be commuting, you are now able to use the student discount on all your transit needs, provided you show your student ID when you purchase tickets."
He stood and Kasumi rose as well. "Once again, Miss Tendo, congratulations on your admission. I know you will be a strong student and fine addition to the medical and nursing communities. Please be sure to come back to pick up your textbooks within the week and I encourage you to be on time and prepared for all your classes. The instructors take their jobs seriously and do not take kindly to those whom they feel are not serious as well."
Kasumi nodded. "Yes, sir. Thank you."
Kasumi practically floated home on pure joy. College. She was going to college! In four years, she would be a nurse, an RPN. It was something she knew was going to change everything about her life. No longer would she just be "that poor Kasumi Tendo". She would be Kasumi Tendo, RPN, medical student. She would be free.
Chapter 10
Two weeks passed quickly for Kasumi as she prepared for school. At home, she said nothing to anyone except Ranma about what had happened at the college. To everyone else, she was still the same young girl, unchanged. But deep down, Kasumi could feel something inside of her was different. On the night before she was slated to begin her first day of college, however, she knew she would have to tell her family.
Chapter 11
The dinner was served. It was a special meal, one she'd worked on for hours to prepare. It was her own personal celebratory meal, yet no one knew the meaning behind it except for her. The family ate greedily and Kasumi was pleased, yet terrified. She ate little, as she often did, and every time she thought of what she would soon face, her heart would beat wildly and her cheeks were flushed. They did not see the rise of pink in her cheeks or the small smile she smiled.
When everyone had eaten their fill, she left the dishes where they were, and cleared her throat. They all looked at her, expecting more food perhaps. A delicious dessert to match the incredible meal they were now digesting. But Kasumi did not move and this confused them.
"I have an announcement," she declared.
Now she really had their attention. Kasumi never made announcements.
"Recently, I was forced to do a little thinking about my life, about the direction it was headed. I realized that.. well, it was time for a change."
The mass was shocked and she continued her speech.
"I love you all, but.. I just can't keep doing this any more. I can't keep taking care of you. When you have no personal use for me, you ignore me until I become useful again. I am not your wife," she looked at her father, "I am not your mother," she looked at Akane and Nabiki, "I am not your maid," she said, looking at Mr. Saotome. "I am Kasumi. I am your daughter, your sister and your friend, and it's time you treated me as such.
"So, in order to make a significant step in the right direction, I applied to the Japanese School of Nursing and was accepted. Tomorrow I begin classes to become a registered practical nurse. This will mean a drastic change for us all. From now on, I will have classes to attend and homework to do. It will be up to you all to help out with the housework. I will help where I can, but I refuse to do it all. That is all. Have a good night."
Kasumi stood and prepared to leave the room, leaving the dinner dishes untouched. "I will be gone early tomorrow morning. Please do not expect me until later in the afternoon. Sleep well."
With her head held high and her stride steady, Kasumi made her grand departure.
Chapter 12
The wheels of the train clacking did nothing to calm her. With every turn her heart matched the beat and her stomach twisted in another knot. Kasumi had barely slept the night before, as she rode high on the adrenaline rush from her speech at dinner and her excitement of what the next day would bring. Instead, she paced in her bedroom, trying without success to still her shaking hands and raging thoughts. She had set work to pick out an outfit, rummaging through every item in her wardrobe, changing combinations countless times before settling on a simple combination of a light blue sweater, denim skirt and brown leather knee boots.
In the morning, she had come down the stairs to find the house quiet, everyone having left without a word to her. In the kitchen, she discovered a gift of a personalized notebook and ink pens tied neatly with a yellow ribbon and topped off with a bright red apple. Even with no note, it was easy for Kasumi to figure out who it was from and silently thanked Ranma, her only supporter of her new adventure.
The train stopped and Kasumi gathered her bag, the butterflies in her stomach giving way to complete excitement. As she arrived on the campus, she was struck with a sense of belonging, as if this moment had been part of the plan in her life and she had never known it until now.
Chapter 13
The next few months flew by in a blur for Kasumi. She had been nervous, almost terrified, at first, and the courses were much harder than she had imagined. Kasumi found herself with a new appreciation of the human body. Worried that she would fail her classes if she tried to study alone, a small study group was formed. Each person was unique and soon she found herself with friends that she'd never imagined having. The study groups worked well for Kasumi and they were always held somewhere new. After four months of avoiding having them over, however, Kasumi bit the bullet and organized a meeting at the Tendo compound.
The evening before the study date, Kasumi once again confronted her family, telling them what she was planning and begging them to behave. Dire consequences were promised if she or her friends were harrassed, beaten up or otherwise interrupted. Each member of the family promised to behave, but Kasumi could not help but worry.
True to her instincts, nothing went as planned that evening. As her guests arrived, there was a fight out front that traveled into the house and continued through the back garden. Akane and Ranma, followed by both Happosai and Mr. Saotome blew through the Tendo compound. Kasumi thought she had removed most of the breakable items beforehand but found that broken glass and other unknowable items still managed to scatter themselves all over the living room. When she went to bring out the snacks, she found that they had been eaten with only crumbs left for her guests. As her schoolmates were harassed in some way or another, Kasumi was filled with despair until she could not take it any longer.
As the tornado of activity swirled around her, Kasumi reached her breaking point. Never one to lose her temper or yell out, her voice sounded strange as she raised it to overpower the sound of chaos.
"Enough! All of you!"
The frenzy of the room ceased and everyone stared at Kasumin in shock.
"I asked you to let me follow through with my dreams! I told you that I was nearing a nervous breakdown because I needed more than what you would allow me to have! I have sacrificed my life for you for so many years yet you seem intend to sabotage me. It is as if you cannot stand to see me happy! Is this what you want? Do you want to see me crying like I am now, except not in anger, as I assure you, I am very angry, but in desperation and from a broken heart that you can do nothing but oppress me with your incessant need for attention?
"The more you fight for my attention, the more you push me away! Can you not understand how much I need this? I am happy! For the first time I can remember, I am finally happy. This is what I want to do. And you all seem determined to see me fail!"
Her words failed her as the tears overwhelmed her. Kasumi swallowed a sob and managed a choked out apology to her guests before she ran from the room.
Chapter 14
Kasumi ran blindly, unsure and unaware of where she ran. The feeling of needing to get away overwhelmed her, to get away from the chaos in her home, and, though she barely realized it, from within herself. After all this time, she had hoped that her family had finally recognized what she herself had only come to recently: that to be happy, she needed them to understand what she had to truly offer. And yet it seemed that they ignored it all. Caught up in their own lives, Kasumi was little more than the furniture in the house, useless until needed. So Kasumi ran, until she found an obstacle in her path that she could not run around.
The door was one she had seen a hundred times. There was nothing interesting or unique about it. Even the building to which it was attached was familiar. She had crossed this particular threshold so many times, she could walk the entire space blindfolded. Kasumi's sobs had subsided and she was out of breath from running, yet she could not explain the hitch in her breathing that occured when her hand moved toward the handle. Nor could she rationally explain the sudden surge of fear that hit her like a wave. The familiarity of the space in front of her could not stop the feelings she had in this instant.
Still, her hand moved of it's own accord, turning the doorhandle and pushing the door open. As if in a dream, Kasumi moved. She crossed the threshold, in silent observation, studying the space as if she'd never before seen it. She acknowledged the skeleton in the corner whom she had fondly come to know as Betty, before moving beyond the main rooms into the back. That was where he kept his study, away from his office, away from the patients he so lovingly tended. It was his sanctuary, she knew, and she would find him there.
He was at his desk, leaning back with his feet stretched out in front of him, relaxed in a way which was completely different than she was used to seeing him. He was reading, a novel instead of the many medical texts which covered the walls, and he looked at peace, happy, not nervous and awkward like he usually was whenever she appeared. Kasumi found herself studying his features and liked what she saw, and smiled to herself as the thought touched her.
He shifted suddenly, brushed a hair from his eyes, and it surprised her, made her jump. The movement caught his eye and he looked up from his book.
"Kasumi! What are you doing here," he asked, putting his book on his desk and sitting up straight.
Kasumi opened her mouth to speak, to explain that she hadn't intended to come here, but there were no words for her. Instead, the tears came back in a flood and she was overwhelmed all over again.
Tofu was up on his feet in an instant, his usual awkwardness gone and replaced with the strong, confident man Kasumi had fallen in love with. He strode over to her, unable to bear seeing her cry, and wrapped his arms around her. Kasumi relaxed into his embrace, allowing herself to cry until the tears were gone.
When she had cried her last tear, and hiccupped her last hiccup, she took a long trembling breath. Tofu held her tightly, his chin on her head. She stirred and looked up into his hazel eyes, once again touched at what she saw.
He smiled at her, soft and full of understanding. For a second, neither of them thought to move. And then suddenly, slowly, he was kissing her and she realized she was kissing him back, their passion growing as the seconds passed. Her arms snaked to the back of his neck, feeling his soft hair and curling her fingers into it. They pressed themselves into one another, the kiss deepening. For Kasumi it was like she was finally coming to life, a barrage of emotion coming into her all at once. She had known she was in love with Tofu for a very long time, but she had never realized how strongly she had felt it until now.
When the kiss ended, they were out of breath and found they were right back where they had been before. This time, however, the air was filled with an expectant electricity. There was no need to say anything now. They came together again, and although their meeting was still passionate, it was also slow and deliberate. Both knew a decision was being made and sealed with this second kiss, something which would be irreversible and unbreakable. With this kiss, nothing would separate them now.
Chapter 15
Six months after the outburst which nearly alienated Kasumi from her family but solidified her relationship with Tofu, she moved out. That fateful day, like so many in her recent life, convinced her that nothing would change unless she made the decision to. As much as Kasumi loved her family, they were constantly unchanging, refusing to evolve as time went by. Kasumi realized that until that meeting with Dr. Kimura, she had been just like them. Deep down, change was cause for fear. Change had brought her mother's illness and inevitable death, and it was as though the remaining Tendos were determined to ensure stability and security by hiding from change, from events that were natural to most of the world. Kasumi's bold steps into the world made her see that instead of promises of security, refusing to change had caused them to become stale and stagnant. By their very nature, they were suffocating themselves.
The apartment, which she found halfway between Nerima and the college, was small but comfortable and Kasumi had a roommate who helped share the burden of rent. In order to live on her own, she took on a job in the campus library. The work was interesting and studying the various medical texts available for class came in handy.
Things progressed very quickly for Kasumi in her relationship with Tofu Ono as well. She became a constant fixture in his practice, spending as much time there as possible. He let her sit in on examinations, patiently helped to answer her many questions as best as he could, and offered her a quiet place to study when she needed it. They were quiet about their relationship when it came to others but to those who watched them when together, it was an obvious and strong connection.
Chapter 16
Snow fell in silent whispers, covering Nerima in a white blanket. The practice was quiet. There were no patients today and for once Tofu did not mind. He had spent the day with Kasumi there for company. Although they had done little more than read, they were both content with with their day. Kasumi did not mind the quiet, and all she needed was to be near Tofu to be happy.
She stretched and yawned suddenly, drawn Tofu's attention away from his book to her. Kasumi smiled contendedly and he grinned at her before standing and stretching as well.
"I don't know about you, but I need some fresh air. Come on, let's take a walk."
Kasumi nodded and went to grab her things.
They walked along the canal, her arm tucked into his, and watched the snow falling. Conversation came to them easily after a day of saying so little. Kasumi reviewed some of what she had been studying and Tofu smiled at her questions. They discussed plans, dreamed of what she would do once she graduated.
Kasumi was in mid-sentence when Tofu stopped suddenly, and looked up at him in surprise. The look on his face puzzled her; for the first time in six months, she could not read his expression.
"Are you okay," she asked.
After a moment's hesitation, Tofu replied. "Yes, I'm fine."
He paused again and looked down at Kasumi.
"I have something to tell you. It's kind of important, and it's going to change everything. When I'm through, I'm going to ask you a question and I want you to be honest with me. Can you promise to do that for me?"
Fear knotted deep within her stomach, all Kasumi could do was nod in reply as Tofu took her hands in his and squeezed them tightly before speaking again.
"I love you," he said seriously. "I've loved you for so long that I can't remember when I started to feel this way. I am so proud of what you've done, how far you've come that I can hardly imagine what you used to be like before. You are a beautiful, strong, intelligent woman, you always have been, except that now I think you're finally starting to believe it. One day, you're going to be very successful."
Tofu stopped, thinking over his words as he subconsciously ran his hand through his hair, scratching his head.
"I... I.. I'm really nervous, I'm sorry."
Kasumi smiled, the fear in her gut gone. She nodded again, prompting him to continue.
"Look, I'm just a small town doctor with a little chiropractic practice on the side. I don't have a lot of money. I can't promise the world, I can't promise a big house or a wealth of riches. I have very little to offer you, but it is yours - if you want it. Will you accept it - accept me?"
Kasumi realized it was now her turn to speak and she chose her words with a sense of reverence for the ritual which was now occuring.
"I don't want the world. I don't want a big house and wealth is more than just money. I love you, too. What you have is my heart and it is yours to keep. Yes, of course I accept you, just as you accept me."
Tofu dug in his pocket and brought out a small box with a grin. "I didn't plan on asking you like this, but I've had this for a few weeks. I hope you like it."
Kasumi gasped as she opened the tiny box, then frowned sternly at Tofu. "You can't afford this."
"No, I almost couldn't," he confessed, "but I wanted you to have something special."
Tofu reached out, taking her hand and the ring into his own.
"I love you," he said quietly as he slipped the ring onto her finger.
Chapter 17/End
The receptionist was polite and smiled, handing over a clipboard, nodding politely when thanked. Kasumi smiled as she and Tofu made their way to an empty set of chairs. She was just beginning to show and she gently touched her swelling stomach in an effort to calm her nerves, taking comfort from her husband's hand on her arm and the burgeoning life within her.
Kasumi thought of how her life had changed over the space of two years. On the verge of a nervous breakdown, she had sought help, albeit unwillingly at first, and a whole new life was born. She had once been unable to tell where her life ended and that of her family began. How lost and unsure she had been! She must have seemed so two dimensional, so lacking in personality! Yet she took the fear she'd had and turned it into an adventure. With each day that had passed, Kasumi made steps to change her life for the better, to seek greater things within herself and the world at hand.
Becoming a nurse. Moving out of the Tendo compound. Marrying Tofu, and soon, bearing his child. Working with her husband in his clinic. These events had been both large and small, and with each change, she realized, she was gathering pieces of herself until image in the puzzle was finally revealed. After so long, she had found herself. Finally, Kasumi knew who she truly was and she was happy.