Title: Who Wants to Be a Farmer?
Author: Darth Corsa
Genre: humor
Feedback: Always appreciated.
Disclaimer: These characters definitely are not mine.
Obi-Wan Kenobi was an Apprentice of the Jedi Temple on the Coruscant and was looking forward to his forthcoming thirteenth birthday. It was a very special date in a life of every Jedi. If an initiate didn't become anyone's Padawan, he was sent to the Agricorps on a distant planet. Thus, students both waited for and feared this date. On the one hand, it was a great honor to be a Padawan of a Jedi Knight, on the other hand, nobody wanted to be a farmer and use the Force to plant trees and flowers. Of course, it was an honor for the Republic too, but one could not seriously compare those two things.
Obi-Wan returned to his room and looked at his possessions - everything already had been carefully packed in his travel bag. Tomorrow he would not be here anymore.
(Some hours ago)
The ancient Master moved his long ears sadly. He had been trying to persuade the boy to stay in the Temple for several years. For all those time he had had a slight hope that the student would come to his senses and change his foolish decision.
"Obi-Wan, absolutely sure you are?" Yoda asked, staring at the boy. There was desperate hope in his green eyes.
"Yes, Master Yoda! As I've already said—"
Master signed heavily. He himself began to believe that all of this was the will of the great Force. He was old and so tired…
"Yes, pack you things, you can. Good luck to you I wish." Master Yoda walked away to meditate on the Force's wishes. Maybe, he really needed some vacation. Or retirement.
"Thanks!" Obi-Wan yelled, already running to his room.
He would travel on Monument, an old and worn space Corellian barge, heading to Bandomeer, where he would accept his fate and become a farmer. He had been dreaming of it since his childhood.
His classmates loved to discuss and to wonder about their future — would they be the famous Jedi or would the Jedi Masters even take them as their Apprentices. They studied hard and a lot, trying to learn the ways of the Force. Obi-Wan, on the contrary, had missed his classes and had never done his homework. But the Force was so strong with him that his mentors had not given up at him and tried to make him study. He had great memory, brilliant intellect, but he had not wanted to do anything.
All the same, in contrast to his classmates, Obi-Wan had been asked to be an Apprentice since he was ten. Some councilors, even the great Master Jedi Mace Windu himself, Master Dooku, and other famous and not so famous Masters had tried their luck and had asked young Kenobi to become a Padawan. They had failed. Obi-Wan was too stubborn and stood his ground.
Some days ago a famous Master Jedi Qui-Gon Jinn appeared in the Temple. He worked alone for some years — his previous Apprentice Xanatos had turned to the Dark Side and Jedi's heart had been broken. He had sworn that he would never take another Padawan. Nevertheless, Obi-Wan was a special case. Qui-Gon was strong with the Living Force and sensed how powerful the boy was. He thought that the Force itself ordered him to train the boy, but Obi-Wan refused. He refused the offer of one of the best swordsman of the Temple! Master Jinn thought that he'd heard something wrong and asked one more time – with the same answer. Obi-Wan was stubborn same as Qui-Gon. Although, Qui-Gon had not much time to grieve — he was suddenly assigned on a mission from the Supreme Chancellor Finis Valorum.
Obi-Wan said goodbye to his friends, who tried to persuade him to stay here for the last time, but failed too, and headed to the ship. He had been asking Yoda for about a month prior to his birthday not to wait and to send him to the Agricorps immediately. And to stop now? No way!
Obi-Wan always loved trees, plants, flowers and different animals and studied books about horticulture instead of his lessons and was eager to use his knowledge practically—
"Obi-Wan! I'm glad to see you here!" Qui-Gon said happily. He knew that the boy would fly on the same ship and hoped that he would not fail this time.
"Yet Again!" Obi-Wan thought, but respectfully bowed to the Jedi Master (he was not only stubborn; he was a very polite boy, too).
"I think, you've come to your senses and want to be my Padawan?"
"Nooooo!" Obi-Wan cried and ran to his bunk.
He had not come out from his room till the vicious space pirates attacked Monument. Even then, he helped Qui-Gon to defend the passengers and demonstrated the perfect using of the lightsaber and even connected mentally with Qui-Gon, what was very unusually for not a Master/Padawan team.
"Obi-Wan! Please!"
But Obi-wan shook his head and went away.
When they finally reached Bandomeer, Obi-Wan ran to the main Agricorps building, trying to leave the tall Jedi Master behind.
But the Fate (or the Force, perhaps) didn't let him be even then. He was made a miner against his will. That invoked lots of hatred and anger in him. He wanted to choke Xanatos with his bare hands (or the Force)! But the dark Jedi laughed at Obi-Wan and didn't believe that young Kenobi wanted to be a farmer. It was very insulting.
Then, the Fate brought Jinn and Kenobi together once again. Obi-Wan even wanted to blow himself up — he was feared of only a thought that the Agricorps could be destroyed. But somehow they managed to neutralize the bomb without his sacrifice (not without Obi-Wan's help).
Qui-Gon once again gingerly asked Obi-Wan to be his Apprentice, not especially believing in positive answer.
"Well, I can bear it no more! If I'll behave properly, he rejects me himself (or I'll run away) and then, I'll be a farmer at last!" Obi-Wan thought, staring at Qui-Gon and carefully thinking about the important decision.
"Yes, I accept your offer, Master Jinn." He answered kinglike and solemnly.
"I'll be the best teacher, I promise!" Qui-Gon cried, not believing his ears.
Master Jinn kept his word. He had never ignored Obi-Wan. He always tried to help him with everything — lessons or sparring. He took the boy everywhere: to the cinema, to the Coruscant Zoo, to the meetings with the Supreme Chancellor. He had never even compared him and Xanatos. He loved Obi-Wan as a son he had never had.
But then, there was an incident on Melida/Daan.
Qui-Gon offered to stay on the planet in order to heal his fellow Jedi Master Tahl there, but Obi-Wan insisted that Jinn should return to Coruscant.
Obi-Wan pushed Qui-Gon and Tahl in the shuttle by Force (and by force) and foisted off his lightsaber to Qui-Gon.
"Qui-Gon! I'm not worthy to carry this kind of weapon! Only spades! I think I must be sorry, but I don't! I… I have much anger in me! I want to kill Mace Windu!"
Qui-Gon opened his mouth to say that he'd help his Apprentice and it'd be foolish to waste such potential, but Kenobi interrupted him.
"I can't be a Jedi! I want to marry soon and have many children!" he paused for a while, imaging a model family, planting something, and smiled. "Also, I want to access the Sith holocrone – I'm going to the Dark Side! You should go away, bye!"
Then Obi-Wan smiled and returned to his friends. He had no intention of helping them — only to use their spaceport and fly to the Agricorps.
He didn't know that Qui-Gon had already connected with Master Yoda and argued about him and the green Master agreed that Jinn would return for Obi-Wan and bring him back to the Temple.
But when Qui-Gon once again reached Melida/Daan, he found nobody. Although he learned that the civil war was stopped not without Obi-Wan's help.