Disclaimer: I don't own stuff.

Officer Nicole Haught sat at her desk, filling in paperwork. In her home town, paperwork was awful because it was boring, monotonous, and often a waste of time. Here in Purgatory, it was still awful, but because it was terrifying.

Let's see… so-called "demon rooster" sighting, I'll file that for reference with Animal-Related crimes… a body seemingly torn apart in broad daylight, but by something with fangs; I'll put that in Animal-Related again… Two more disappearances, I'll have to—

"Hey, Officer," interrupted her thoughts. There was a scraping as one of the wooden seats for visitors was dragged in place across from her, and Wynonna Earp sat down in it, leaning back, arms crossed across her chest, looking at Nicole expectantly.

"Oh… hi, Wynonna," said Nicole. She hadn't spoken much to the older of the two Earp sisters; her interest was in Waverly. But she knew the two sisters were close, so she put down her pen and focused on making a good impression.

"What's up?" asked Wynonna.

"Uh… paperwork." Nicole turned it around to show Wynonna, who didn't look interested. "If there's anything here the Black Badge division needs, I'm happy to help, but we hand it over to Waverly to look through twice a day anyway."

"Yeah… Waverly." Wynonna uncrossed her arms and put them on the desk, leaning forwards – a little too far forwards for Nicole's comfort, given Wynonna's loose-fitting tank top. "Listen. Waverly likes you and all, but we both know she's gonna stick with Champ forever before she finally realises what a loser he is. Who knows how long you'd have to wait for that?"

"I… didn't know you knew I liked her. But anyway, I can wait. What alternative do I have?"

"Go for a girl who's already unattached and interested." Rather suddenly, her hand moved on top of Nicole's.

Nicole looked at Wynonna's eyes. She looked serious. "I'm… going to wait for Waverly, thanks."

Wynonna's gaze was unflinching. She leaned a little closer. "You sure?"

Nicole leaned back uncomfortably. "Yes, I'm sure."

After another moment of unflinching gaze, Wynonna relaxed and leaned back in her seat again, smiling. "Good," she said.

"… uh… why…?"

"Well, if you'd taken me up on it, I would have had to throw you through that window there." She pointed. "It sounds like Waverly really likes you."

"She—"

"She dumped Champ yesterday, and told me all about the Officer Haught who lives up to her name, who she was going to ask out today. When you stop by Shorty's for lunch in twenty minutes or so."

Nicole's face lit up. "She is?"

"She is. But first, I wanted to make sure you're some revenant or other monster trying to use her to get to me." Wynonna casually threw this out like it was nothing.

"What?"

"Bonus, I also know you aren't a jerk who doesn't care about her feelings. Revenants and jerks would both have taken me up on it. Probably I'd have to pull Peacemaker on you after I threw you through the window to check which one you were. I can always tell, then."

"What… what's a revenant? And wait, Waverly really—she's going to ask me out? You're sure?"

"You're going to have to know about revenants, if you're dating an Earp. Waverly knows more than me. Ask her. I'm sure she won't mind if you show up early."

Nodding, Nicole got to her feet, then sat down again, looking at Wynonna. "But she really—"

"Yes. I'm sure, she's sure. Although apparently you technically asked her first. Go."

Nicole was running out of there by the time Wynonna got to "she's sure." The door slammed behind her.

Wynonna, bemused, read the paper on the desk.

"Demon rooster, huh? That's new."