It's been a whole lot of weeks and days since you left. Daddy keeps crying and telling me it'll be okay, but I don't know what he means. Nothing's wrong. Well, you're gone but you'll come back. I asked Emma and she said yes, and then I asked Ben and he was crying and then he told me "maybe", so I'm counting that as a yes.
The people at school keep hugging me and Jack and its annoying me because they won't let me do coloring. A few days after you left, daddy and the others all went to this big church place in a black car and they were wearing black clothes. They made me and Jack stay back with this annoying woman called Janice. I don't like her. Daddy said you didn't like her either, and Uncle Joey wouldn't go near her. She was like, "baby Bings!" and her voice was loud and her laugh was like hahahahahaha. I don't like her. Her son Aaron was ugly. He was born on the same day as Emma.
I asked Uncle Mike why people were crying and he just sighed. After that, Aunt Phoebe and Aunt Rachel gave me and Jack both a box of things. Mine had pictures of you and Aunt Rachel and Uncle Ross when you were our age and other things. My favorite thing is a necklace that was tucked into a wad of pictures. It has a pretty blue stone on it. It reminds me of your eyes, because they're pretty as well. The chain is gold but it isn't tacky, like the one Grandma Nora gave me. She also gave me some detailed stories about Daddy from when he was little.
Every night when Daddy tucks me and Jack in, he tells us that he loves us and you do too. I'm not stupid. I know you love me, you used to tell me every day. But now I'm a little scared, because I'm not all that sure that you will come back. I asked Uncle Joey if he would take me to the post office to post this to you. After a while, he gave in. Then he gave me a drink of his beer as long as I didn't tell Daddy (or you, now that I think of it. Oops) and a few slices of his pizza and we watched cartoons together. Uncle Joey's new girlfriend, Erin (Aunt Rachel and Aunt Phoebe made her pancakes once. She dumped him but they're trying again. She's really nice and she plays with my dolls with me), came out and watched with us. Then they got all mushy so I went over to our old apartment and waved at Emma. She let me in and then Aunt Rachel and Uncle Ross were really nice to me. Too nice.
Come back soon. Things are falling apart without you. Daddy isn't doing all that well and I haven't bathed in forever. It's okay though, cos I know he's trying. He has a picture of us all in Scarsdale when we went to see Grandma Nora and he keeps it on his nightstand. We need you, though, cos we can't handle it. Uncle Ross said that it was okay. Grandaddy Jack sat me down on his lap and showed me pictures of you when you were a baby. I have to go now, cos its bedtime and Daddy is yelling. I don't like it when he yells. I love you lots and lots Mommy. I won't forget you, even if you don't ever come back. I'll forgive you after a while.
Love,
Erica xxx