I am the comfortable secure
The definition of this western world, and
I have perfected deceit
Even I believe, I'm above, saving.
And I'll never, let you see
I am the broken
I am the bruised
I am the poor ones
I have been used
I paced the office high above the city, my eyes occasionally darting to the window. Something wasn't right. Sister Ray had been fired, but it seemed that nothing had changed. Then, I saw it. Diamond Weapon. I saw death plummeting towards me. I didn't even have time to be afraid.
The initial explosion knocked me unconscious. But, when I came to, all I saw was flames and wreckage surrounding me. My left eye burned, tears of blood leaking from it. My right eye was my only means of vision. My lungs burned, making me wonder how much smoke I had inhaled. I tried to sit up, falling back as pain flared in my torso and right hip. Damn. No way out. I guess this is it.
Will I be aware of the burning flames until the end? Or will I simply fall asleep and never wake up? I almost laughed as I felt my blood pool around me. So much for never cry, never bleed. A lone tear escapes my good eye. I had failed. My father was right. I had lost. While I lay, bleeding to death in a burning building, Meteor was hurtling towards the Planet. It was over.
Minutes seem like hours to those who know that their hours are numbered. I thought back on my life. So few memories were pleasant. And all of those seemed to be prior to age ten. Prior to my mother's death. After she was gone, I could no longer linger in the innocent realm of a child. I had to grow up. My father assigned a Turk to watch out for me. Tseng. He was my first and possibly only friend. The one person on this planet that I completely trust. He watched over me from age ten, as I struggled to find my place in an adult's world. I can only hope he escapes from this unscathed.
Even in my final hours, I would not show weakness. I was still Rufus ShinRa. The man who was made of ice. Who never cried, nor bled. I would not give my father the satisfaction of watching me crumble from whatever afterlife he currently resided in. I almost smirked at that. I had strived all my life to resist becoming my father. But, here I was, refusing to admit my humanity. My mortality. Even at the bitter end when the only ways out were either bleeding to death or burning. Just like him.
Things began to get blurry. It felt like hours since Diamond Weapon had struck the building, but I knew it couldn't have been but a few minutes. I waited for the flames to ebb away into the background. I waited for my eyes to close and to feel the comfort of my mind soul merging with the Lifestream. It never came. My body was beginning to go numb. Was I dead or simply loosing feeling from blood loss? I guess it didn't really matter. I heard the walls groan as the flames licked at them, weakening them. My life had but minutes left. I closed my eyes. I heard the crackle of the flames but still I did not feel them searing my flesh. Was some deity protecting me? Giving me a second chance? Or was a slow death simply punishment for the things I had done in my lifetime? I imagined I heard footsteps on the stairs. A cruel joke of the mind.
I had tried to reform the company. Let it reach its full potential. Perhaps I was just delaying the inevitable. ShinRa would have fallen the night my father was killed. Now it will fall with my death. You were right, Father. I was destined to fail. You win.