Farther and Farther
A Hetalia Fanfic
Hello there. If you're reading this, then you must have found my diary.
It's been a very long time. A long time of jealousy, sadness and loneliness. A long time of constant war with my sanity. I don't know when this will stop, but something tells me it won't.
I was not lonely before. I was not jealous before. I was not lonely too. All I was before was innocent. Innocent to the truth of the world. Some kind to piece in a board game. Having no control and yet being dictated on. A cruel joke, some would say. But I have no say. I've been punished for no criminal activity. I, forced to play the villain, had to endure centuries of mishaps and pain.
Such a wicked chronicle in my life. I don't know how I'll cope up. That itself sent me spiraling downward everything. All the things I loved are gone. My family. My country. My trust. And my dignity.
It all started on the Kalmar Union.
My ruler was quite ambitious. Wanting this and that. Grab whatever you can and rob them blind. Cunning too. She got my brothers to join me in one country. This idea I did not like. I tried my best to stall this, but I failed.
Berwald and Lukas, both of my brothers, both unaware of the hidden things in the letter. I feared on what would happen to them. I cared for them. They were my only brothers. And yet this horrible paper will tear us apart.
The dreadful thought happened. Berwald, seething with rage, stormed out of my house, bringing Tino with him. My outer demeanor said nothing, but inwardly, I was screaming. Screaming for him to forgive me and come back. This was not my doing. It was this wretched curse brought upon us nations. I wanted to rebel against my rulers, but I have no choice but to serve them, for I am only a personification.
Later on, gruesome murders and massacres happened left and right, guided by my kings. Then came the Stockholm Bloodbath. This was the thing that crossed Berwald so badly, I was left almost dead afterwards. I couldn't do anything but watch as blood splattered everywhere, on the ground and on me. Even the horrible stench of it sends me reeling.
Then the World Wars came.
Napoleon. That little Corsican whose head swam in power and pride. Whose mind was like Prussia's, designed to make every single war tactic as if it was written by a perfect being. And in his plans included me and Lukas. My king agreed, fooled by the truce made with France. I told him not to, but as like the others, I was shrugged off. Months later, Napoleon's defeat has spread all-throughout of Europe. My king had a horrified look on his face, and blamed me for my incompetence. I tried stopping him. And look where it got me. Alone. Norway was eventually taken away from me, with force. And the one who took him was Berwald. He said this was some kind of revenge.
The only thing I have done was crying. I lost my closest brother. To him of all people! Ironic isn't it? That all of this events are happening to me. I started to go insane by that point. Iceland was the only one left, and sure as hell I won't let anyone take him away from me, for the sake of Lukas.
Then, Napoleon's fan, Hitler, came to crash the party. With his anti-Jew propaganda and rules, he has set all of Europe in chaos. With Stalin as his partner-in-crime, Poland fell first. Then next, us. Germany, or his evil twin, Nazi Germany, gave us a choice. To surrender to him, leaving everything unscathed, or to suffer the wrath of being invaded and ruled over. Three guesses on what was the decision of my government, and the first two won't count. And that's where I was wrong. I thought my country would fight, but it surrendered. To my shock. IT SURRENDERED. I could not believe it. The King of Scandinavia, surrendering to some country that's not even a century old. Hitler then became my temporary boss. And as he was Napoleon's fan, he also tried doing what Napoleon did. Upstage all of Europe then seize the throne of Europe's overlord.
And as Napoleon's fan, he failed by the method where Napoleon failed too. And this added insult to injury. After the war, I was branded as Hitler's little Dane. Even if I tried fighting back. And during the war, Iceland declared independence. I couldn't blame the kid. He would later on get in trouble if he did not separate from me. It felt heart-breaking and relieving at the same time. Relieved that my little brother is safe, but heart-breaking because I am alone. Truly alone.
I tried building back my relations with the rest of the Nordics, but they still don't trust me. Berwald is still mad at me. Lukas treats me differently now. Tino's overly polite that it shows his hatred of my existence. Emil's socially awkward, but that I accept.
Up until now, nothing's changed. Nothing good happened. I'm going crazy now. Not even one of them visited me again. I am all alone. In the darkness of my past, and in the bleakness of my future. I have no choice but to accept this punishment. This unfair punishment.
A malicious chapter of my life gone, and a more vicious future for me. My book will end someday. But this chapter has still a long way to go. I don't really know when it will stop, but if it will, I would be dead by then.
All of this, in due time, will set me free.
Free from anguish, pain and suffering.
Free from life's unfair game.
Free forever.
But for now, I must suffer from the past.
I must walk the torturous mile.
I must walk to my final resting place.
I must pay for my shortcomings.
Under me is the cruel world.
There I can see them,
See them going
Farther and Farther.