Enjoy! Sixth in the Moon Dust in Your Lungs, Stars in Your Eyes series.
Disclaimer: I do not own The Expanse.
He finds himself wishing that there were people that weren't going to get ground up by the churning wheels of life.
He finds himself in a race to save a planet of people he doesn't care about.
He finds himself wishing he could be more than he was.
He finds himself wishing he could be better.
He finds himself looking for a little girl that could become him, except that she has a father who cares.
He finds himself fighting against himself; part of him just doesn't want to care, let the churn roll on like it always has, part of him though, as seen what happens when you fight the flow. And the results? They're messy and haphazard and you get cut open more than if you just let it happen but it's still, still beautiful, like the calm he felt when he smoked his first cigarette or the burn you get from swallowing Ganymede gin.
He finds himself glad that a monster like him can be used for something better. (There's so, so, so much blood on his hands. And he doesn't care but Naomi will and Jim will and Alex will. They won't care enough to leave but they'll do their damned best to wash some of it off. Miller won't care, the blood doesn't matter to him.)
He finds himself changing and he doesn't know if he's glad or not.
He finds himself hoping he can escape the churn long enough so that he can get the others out forever.
He finds himself, piece by broken piece and forces them together in a spray of blood and grinding shards.
He is Amos Burton, crew member of the Roci, he is broken and he always will be, but he is strong enough to weather the maelstrom of his life.
He is Amos Burton, a name that he stole but the person he's made to fit the name, is his.
He is Amos Burton and he has people he can trust and people that he'd die for.
He is Amos Burton and honestly, he doesn't know who the hell he really is but whoever he is, is more than he ever thought he'd become.
He is Amos Burton and he's broken but he's growing.
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