We might fall

Verse: Nikita

Genre: Friendship/Romance

Rating: PG-13

Pairing(s): Alex/Birkhoff, Alex/Nikita

Song: We might fall by Ryan Star

Summary: It wasn't easy telling someone it was OK to fall in love when they feared the very word. And it was down right hard to tell someone that sometimes falling can be fine.

As Michael slept peacefully, the raven haired beauty stole from her room. She had seen that look she had seen on her own face years ago.

A lifetime even.

Alex was so young and yet so old but Nikita would never forget that girl she had dragged back to life and she would never believe that she could understand the overwhelming nature of life both good and bad.

Hearing the muttering from Birkhoff's room, Nikita froze and closed her eyes against the pain she felt for him. They weren't friends in the normal sense, but she was damn well protective over him and watching his broken body slip on to his bed after his return had caused her heart to twist.

It only fed the fire of hate she held for Division.

Opening her eyes and moving away quickly, she had another mission in mind but would remind her self tomorrow she would do something nice for Birkhoff.

The living room was dark save for only the light from the full moon, but Nikita still saw her hunched over something on her lap. Feeling her heart break for the younger woman, Nikita walked over to Alex and sighed.

Alex snapped her head round and clutched Birkhoff's bracelet tightly, a sheepish smile just visible in the moon light.

"I thought you were Birkhoff" Nikita didn't miss the hitch to the name and slowly she eased her self into the seat beside Alex, choosing to ignore as the woman tucked the bracelet away.

"I thought you were sleeping" Nikita countered, smiling gently as Alex smiled bashfully and shrugged. But the smile slip from the woman's face and she swallowed hard.

"I tried" she offered as Nikita nodded and looked down. She understood so well that in the darkest hour of the night, when the world seems to stand still the nightmares roared to life and clung tightly enough to make you think you would never wake.

"Alex you did OK" Nikita reassured as she ducked her head to gain the woman's eyes, her eyes glistening when she saw the tears in Alex's eyes.

"Did I? Birkhoff has his hand crushed Nikita" Alex whispered before her eyes pinned Nikita to the spot. Sitting back Nikita offered a reassuring smile.

"I know what it's like Alex" Nikita frowned when Alex shook her head and furrowed her brow, those doe eyes holding such innocence and pain.

"But you don't" Alex took a wavering a breath, her eyes slipping close before she looked back to her friend.

"I know you've seen people you care about being hurt; and I know you have tried everything in your power to stop it... but I... I had to stand there, watch and listen to each break Nikita" a single tear rolled down the woman cheek and Nikita hated Division and herself a little more.

"Birkhoff understood what he was doing" Nikita offered even though they both knew that know one could know how to deal with torture.

"And that makes it OK? To stand by and watch it happen" Alex demanded and Nikita just watched her. The pair sat in silence for a few seconds before Nikita drew in a deep breath.

"Not now it doesn't but in the future when we are all free from Division and all it's evil, yes it will be OK" Nikita offered as Alex laughed a hollow laugh and shook her head. The tears rolled down her cheek and Alex brushed them away, rubbing a thumb along the bracelet.

"How can I expect him to look at me and not think about what I stood by and watched" Alex demanded as she looked to Nikita, who could only watch with sadness as the breaking of Alex's heart.

"You don't expect Alex" reaching forward Nikita took Alex's hands, holding the bracelet between their joint hands and squeezed hard.

"You trust; you trust that after all of this he will look at you and see the determination, the passion and the loyalty" Nikita declared causing Alex to bite back a sob and look away.

"Alex back in Division I told you not to form any relationships because I didn't want Division to find a way to hurt you even more" Alex jerked her hands back and refused to look at the older woman. Nikita sighed and tilted her head.

"We're not... I don't... he's just Birkhoff" Alex declared causing Nikita to reach out again and hold onto Alex's hands tightly. Slowly Alex lifted her eyes back to Nikita's and Nikita smiled at her, her thumb rubbing the bracelet against Alex's skin.

"It's OK Alex... I know it doesn't seem so but it. Falling in love with someone is OK; I know I said you shouldn't but I'm not one to talk am I" Nikita joked gaining a watery laugh from Alex who ducked her head.

"It's not the best of times but" Nikita stopped and smiled at Alex when she looked to her. She would have given anything to stop this, to even take Alex away so she could fall in love and live a life full of dreams and no fear of being chased. Any other time she wished it would have been anyone beside Birkhoff, because they both needed someone not damaged by their past.

It wasn't easy telling someone not to fall in love but seeing the deep pain rocketing around Alex, Nikita figured it would be so much harder telling her to fall in love.

"But it's OK" Nikita assured as Alex studied her face before nodding slightly. A thump caused both women to spin round and find Birkhoff staring at them from the bottom of the stairs.

"It's like 2 am, what the hell are you doing up" Nikita couldn't help but notice that Birkhoff's dark eyes short to Alex and lingered on her for more than was needed. Smiling Nikita glanced back to the younger woman.

"Girl talk" Nikita offered, winking at Alex who gave her a thankful smile.

"Whatever" Birkhoff snorted as he headed to the kitchen, gingerly grabbing a glass. Nikita saw the distress in Alex's face, climbing to her feet Nikita tugged at Alex's hand and lent into the girl.

"And it's OK to fall; there will always be someone to catch. Even if it just you" Nikita assured but her eyes told Alex that she would probably always have someone to catch her.

"And even if that someone has a busted hand" Nikita whispered causing Alex to laugh and squeeze the woman's hand before releasing it and stand. Nikita walked towards the stairs, smiling at Birkhoff who raised his glass in a silent toast. Alex made her way to Birkhoff, who despite his protest didn't push Alex away when she fussed over him.

Nikita stopped at the bottom of the stairs and watched the pair, Alex smiled at Birkhoff with a hint of worry and Birkhoff tired to act as though she had nothing to worry about.

Alex caught Nikita's eyes and smiled for her again.

As Birkhoff turned to rinse his glass, Alex nodded to Nikita and mouthed 'I'll try' before she turned back to Birkhoff and began to fuss over him again.

Nikita climbed back into bed and sighed when Michael wound his arms around her.

It wasn't easy to tell someone to not fall in love but Alex wasn't like everyone else. It wasn't easy to tell her that it was OK to fall in because Nikita knew that girl feared the very word love.

But she would try to convince her.

And she would convince her that it was OK to fall.

Because someone would catch her.

The end.