Hello! Here is my christmas fic for this year, started...in august...2 years ago....yeah. Anyway, it's panto season, horray! I love pantomimes, they're awesome! I did want to include a pantomime horse but i couldn't fit it into the story at all so i left it out. I love Pegasus in this fic, he's so awsome XD
I claim no credit for this idea, it was thought up by Tsubame on the school's music tour and I thought it was such a good idea i decided to write it (hope u don't mind) nor do i own yugioh (it's on my christmas list though XD)
enjoy!
Seto Kaiba gazed irritably at his reflexion in the mirror and wondered what on earth had possessed him to take part, and play the lead (female) role, in Pegasus' pantomime. Then he remembered, Mokuba had basically blackmailed him into it by forcing to choose between doing it or taking him on a two week holiday in the middle of the summer holidays to Greece where he would be forced to sit on a beach getting sunburnt, putting up with the hundreds of screaming children and having his photo taken constantly by the paparazzi. All in all Seto realised he would rather spend a night dressed in drag and trying to act his way through Cinderella without completely embarrassing himself.
He looked again at his reflection, to be fair the makeup artists had done a good job; he was wearing blue eye shadow to bring out the colour in his eyes (apparently) and mascara which made his eyelashes seem much longer than they were (they were pretty long to begin with). He brushed the long blonde wig, which fell to the middle of his waist, away from his face, pulling several strands of fibre off his lips which had been coated in cheery pink lip gloss and seemed to act like a magnet, pulling the wig onto his lips.
"This is going to be really embarrassing," he muttered to himself hoping that since he looked so much like a girl no one would recognise him, like that would ever happen. His thoughts then turned to wondering who would be playing prince charming, Seto wanted it to be a certain blonde who would look incredibly sexy wearing puppy dog ears, but knowing Pegasus he'd probably cast himself in the lead male role. Seto shuddered at the thought of having to kiss him.
There was a knock at the door, "Kaiba, are you ready?" came Yugi Motou's voice through the wood.
"Yes," Seto replied wishing he could stay in the dressing room for ever but knowing that if he tried it someone would come and drag him out onto the stage.
"Good, because Pegasus wants you backstage as soon as possible."
Seto stood up he was wearing a long sleeved dress made from grey and brown rags which came down to his knees which meant the audience could see his legs, which had been ruthlessly waxed by the makeup artists. After failing to pull the dress down to cover more of his legs, Seto walked to the door and out into the corridor.
"Oh, you look nice Kaiba," Yugi said, taken aback by Seto's appearance.
"I look like a guy in a dress," Seto snapped before storming down the corridor to the backstage area.
Backstage was a small and painted completely black, the only light came from two very dim lights which had green plastic over them. On one side was the stage and on the other was the 'green room' which was basically full of paint tins and wires for various electronic things.
"Hello Kaiba-boy!" Pegasus cried as he saw the CEO walking towards him, throwing out his arms to hug him.
"Touch me and you're dead," Seto hissed (by now everyone could tell Kaiba wasn't in the best of moods).
"Have you read through the script?" Pegasus asked.
"Script? I haven't seen a script. I thought you were just going to let us make it up."
"I left one on your desk."
"Then it's been covered with a mountain of paper work," Seto said, looking around to see who could be playing Prince Charming, but not seeing any likely candidates, "Who's playing the prince by the way?"
"Oooh, if I told you that it would ruin the surprise," Pegasus said trying to be mysterious and causing Seto's annoyance to increase, "but since you haven't read the script you'll have no idea what to do."
"I'll just make it up," Seto told him knowing full well if he dumped the role onto someone else Mokuba would increase the 'holiday' to two weeks in Disneyland... the horror.
"But that will ruin my vision!"
"Your vision is me in a dress? God you have some serious issues!"
"Will you guys shut up!" Yami, who had been given the position of stage manager, hissed, "Otherwise the audience will hear you arguing." Seto gave him a glare and stalked off to a corner.
"Oi, Priest!" Seto turned around and saw Bakura walking over to him holding a metal bucket and scrubbing brush, "you'll need these for the first scene," he said sneering at Seto's outfit and pushing the bucket and brush into the CEO's hands.
"Great," Seto hissed sarcastically, "and I'm not a priest," he added as the tomb robber, dressed, like the rest of the back stage crew, completely in black, walked away.
Suddenly the type of music you'd hear in a Disney princess movie blared out over the speakers making Seto jump, he looked around and saw Pegasus pointing at the stage and mouthing something along the lines of 'get on the stage and scrub the floor'. Seto did what he was being told to do and walked onto the stage as the curtains slide smoothly open. Looking back over his shoulder Seto saw Malik was in charge of the curtains.
"Once upon a time," Yugi's voice came through the speakers, he was obviously the narrator, "there was a beautiful young woman named Cinderella who lived with her wicked step mother and two ugly step sisters." A spot light shone down on Seto who was scrubbing the floor and grumbling in his mind since his microphone was on and would be able to pick up anything he said.
The audience, which seemed to be full of Seto's fan girls, started to squeal in excitment when they saw the object of their desire dressed in drag and cooed in sympathy as they saw him scrubbing.
"Cinderella was forced by her wicked step mother to scrub the floor, do the dishes, clean the windows, cook the meals, mow the lawns... urm... and lots of other horrible chores every day. This made Cinderella very unhappy."
There was a pause.
Seto realised he was probably supposed to say something, "oh I'm so sad," he said in a flat monotonous voice, he almost smiled when he saw Pegasus cringe out the corner of his eye.
Another pause.
"I wish someone would save me?" he guessed and Yugi, at the back, read the script in front of him and sighed, the line was actually 'oh, what a cruel stepmother I have, there's a ball on soon, thrown by the handsomest prince ever seen! I doubt she will ever let me go!' Kaiba had obviously NOT read the script.
Yugi decided to save him.
"The handsomest prince in the land was planning a ball," he waved madly at Kaiba to get him off the stage. Everyone backstage was obviously doing the same as he, finally, moved off. Marik, Malik and Bakura hurried on during the blackout on stage to place a throne and a large golden table.
Jounouchi walked on in a typical medieval prince's outfit (Seto had been dragged back into his dressing room by an angry Pegasus so he could vaguely learn the script before his next part) in gold and red, a cardboard crown which was too big for his head and a long kitchen roll tube, also painted gold, for a sceptre, both with large, fake gems stuck randomly to them with squiggles of glitter glue everywhere.
His bodyguard 'Bob-gummings', played by Honda, was dressed in a plastic suit of armour with a coat of arms badly painted on the breastplate. Honda was finding it very hard to move. He lifted the flap of his helmet which immediately got stuck halfway so he couldn't see, he carried on battling with it throughout Jounouchi's first lines.
"Oh, Bog-gummings, what a wonderful ball this will be!" Honda marvelled at Jounouchi's inability to act, "I have invited all of the most beautiful girls in the land and I am determined to marry one of them!"
"Oh, but my liege, is that not a bit drastic?" Honda asked, still trying desperately to open his visor fully, "shouldn't you fall in love with a girl rather than marry the first one you see at a ball?"
"If I do not marry, Bog-gummings, my father will never give me the throne!" he threw his arms about in despair and collapsed into his throne. Yami cringed, the throne was pretty flimsy, it wasn't made to take that kind of action, he waited for the crash.
"Therefore I must-" CRUNCH! Jounouchi found himself on the floor, through the seat of the throne, his arms and legs waving comically like a beetle stuck on its back. Honda, stiffly, hurried over and pulled him out. The hall was filled with laughter. They waited for it to die down.
"Therefore I must marry tonight!" Jounouchi finished, wondering why Pegasus had made the script sound so drastic. "The fifth pretty girl to dance with me shall be my bride this very evening at midnight!"
"Why the fifth?" Honda asked.
"I dunno, that's what it says in the script," Jounouchi shrugged in reply and Pegasus collapsed backstage in horror, having left Seto to learn his next part. "Oh, no, wait! I remember! Because the fifth dance is the closest to midnight!"
With that, Honda and Jounouchi swept off dramatically, Jounouchi swishing his cape as he had been yelled at to do by Pegasus during a million rehearsals. Honda tripped over his feet and into the prop table in the wings, there was a huge CRASH and Bakura started yelling until Yami threatened them with a mind crush and all was quiet again. The set was changed quickly to a stately sitting room during a blackout and Mai and Anzu made their debut. Mai in a blue and white stripey dress with a huge Elizabethan style ruff, the dress was nipped in at the waist, but the skirt was huge, on her feet she wore big blue, clown-like shoes. Anzu wore the same, only in red and white.
"Oh, Anz- I mean, Anna! Look at this that we have just received." Who the hell wrote this? Mai thought. "It is an invitation from the prince inviting the most beautiful girls in the country to a ball, one of the girls will be chosen to be his wife."
"Oh, wow! We must go and ask mother for permission!" Anzu squealed.
There was a pause, at this point Cinderella was supposed to come on stage; however there was no sign of Seto.
Thinking Kaiba hadn't heard his cue Anzu repeated her line, but slightly louder. Still no one came out on stage.
Then, a minute later, Kaiba was pushed roughly onto the stage by Yami who had been sent to fetch him, the fan girls in the audience squealed in delight. Kaiba turned back to Yami, threw him a death glare before looking at Anzu and Mai who were waiting for him to say a line.
"Why are you two dressed like pantomime dames?" he asked, "aren't the ugly sisters supposed to be guys in drag?"
"Like you then?" Mai replied.
"Wow Kaiba, you look really pretty as a girl!" Anzu told him before Seto could snap at Mai.
"I really don't want to be here, but since I am could you tell me who's playing the prince?"
"Yes, it's-" Anzu started but was cut off by Pegasus shouting:
"Get on with it!"
"Okay," Anzu said, "We've been invited to the prince's ball," she said, trying to sound like she was taunting Seto.
"So?" Seto replied.
"Well, you're not going to be allowed to go, we'll make sure mother locks you in the dungeon all night," Mai told him, "one of us is going to marry the prince."
"Good for you," Seto said sounding as though this didn't bother him in the slightest.
"Oh, here comes mother now," Anzu said, pointing off stage.
Ryou then walked out onto the stage dressed in a purple dress which was tight at the top but had a very big skirt with many layers of white netting underneath.
"Mother, tell Cinderella she can't come to the ball," Mai demanded walking over to Ryou who looked very embarrassed about having to dress in drag.
"Um, Kaiba- I mean Cinderella...um... I'm afraid I can't let you go to the ball," Ryou stuttered quietly, looking at his feet.
"You're the 'wicked stepmother'?" Seto asked incredulously, astounded by the miscasting.
"Yes," Ryou answered in a tiny voice, all the fan girls gave a collective 'awwwww!', "no one else wanted to do it, so I volunteered. I'm really sorry, Cinderella-"
"You're meant to be the 'evil' stepmother!" Pegasus yelled from the wings, "be more evil!"
"Do I have to be?" Ryou asked, close to tears. He was pulled off stage and the three actors on stage stood in silence for a while whilst hearing bumps and crashes from backstage. Then, Bakura entered in the dress.
"I am the evil stepmother, cower before my feet you mere mortals!" he snarled.
"Ooooooh, that's sooooooo much better!" Pegasus clapped.
"You, Priest Cinderella cannot go to the ball! My daughters will go and marry the prince because they are the most beautiful mortal girls around, you shall be locked in the dungeon and never let out, you shall rot there forever more! Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaaa!" Bakura laughed manically.
"I think I'd rather be in the dungeon," Seto shrugged.
"No, you should be crying at the evilness of your stepmother!" Anzu cried.
"Boo hoo," Seto mocked in a monotone, "I'll be going to the dungeon now." He walked off stage with three lines left, leaving the stepmother and daughters to improvise.
"We must get our dresses made right away!" Mai squealed, "Cinderella can't though." Seto was meant to be in the corner crying at the moment, asking the ceiling why she couldn't have a dress.
"And do our make-up!" Anzu joined in, "though Cinderella can't!" Yugi looked at the script. 'Kaiba: why can't I do my make-up?'
"And don't forget your hair!" Bakura cooed in a completely un-Bakura like manner. 'Kaiba: oh, why can't I have my hair done specially and go to the ball to meet the handsome prince? It's so unfair (move to centre stage) my stepmother is so mean! Now I'm going to be locked in the dungeon all evening, just dreaming of the ball'. Yugi sighed and watched Shizuka beside him put the stage into blackout as they moved back to the prince's palace, the throne repaired using the god of backstage: gaffer tape.
"Oh, my lord!" Honda sighed as he came on stage, "what a tragedy this is!"
"Yes," Jounouchi swept onto stage, his crown slipping over his eyes. He pushed it back quickly and sat, gingerly, in the throne. Honda hopped up onto the table with difficulty. "Oh. What will become of the ball without my one and only love, Jessica Ballyfling!"
"If she is your one and only love, my lord, why are you looking for someone tonight?" Honda asked, completely confused, and why are you looking so happy?
"I was going to ask her for the fifth dance, it was one of my father's orders that I should have a party to find my bride, if I do not carry out his wishes, he says I cannot take the throne after his death!"
"Oh, shock horror!" Honda replied, amazed such a line was actually in the script.
"But, maybe, I can find an even more beautiful young lady for me to marry!" Jounouchi sighed dramatically, "and forget all about Jessica!" A pause, "how about you, Bog-gummings? Is there a young lady you admire?" Honda cringed, this was the part he had been dreading most, Pegasus' favourite part.
"No, my lord," he said, flat as a pancake, "there is only you!" The audience gasped. "Tell me that you will abandon your fight for the throne and run away with me so that we can live happily ever after." Honda watched Jounouchi trying desperately to keep a straight face.
"No, Bog-gummings, I'm afraid it cannot be," he said through laughter, "for I only have romantic feelings for women."
"That's ironic," Honda muttered, his microphone picking it up.
"Huh?"
"Nothing, lets us go and get you changed for the ball."
"I don't think I want you watching after your confession," Jounouchi replied, according to script.
Blackout, the table and throne came off and were replaced with a buffet table, a baroque style table and chairs, a chandelier was let down from the ceiling and the back curtains covering the back wall were opened to reveal a painting of a grand ballroom with a band and many guests enjoying themselves and drinking. The lights went back up showing Mako Tsumani, Bandit Keith and zombie boy in huge skirted dresses, Weevil Underwood and Rex Raptor in medieval prince outfits, asking them to dance.
Anzu, Mai and Bakura whooshed in from the side and all three gasped.
"Oh, what a wonderful ball!" Anzu exclaimed breathily.
"Indeed, how sad it is that Cinderella can't be here." They all froze and the lights on stage went down so the stage was only just lit in red. A spotlight went to the right of the stage where there was a board with stone work painted on it. Seto was pushed out of the side door which led backstage, he tripped and looked miserable in his dungeon.
"Why the hell am I doing this?" he asked angrily, sitting on the edge of the stage, "according to the script my 'fairy godmother' is supposed to appear now."
"He's behind you!" The audience shouted. Seto looked round behind him.
"No he isn't," He told the crowd.
"Oh yes he is!" The audience yelled.
"No he- wait a second, he?!" Seto asked.
"Hello Seto!" A high pitched voice squealed as the person it belonged to wrapped his arms around Seto's neck and hugged him.
"Mokuba?!" Seto yelled in surprise spinning around to see his brother dressed in a white dress which had silver glitter on, he had a silver plastic crown with fake pink plastic gems on and was holding a white wand with a star that flashed pink on the top.
"I'm your fairy godmother!" Mokuba squealed.
"Are you high on sugar again?"
"Cinderella, it's a disaster!" Mokuba said totally ignoring his brother.
"You've run out of Poky?"
"That wouldn't be a disaster, it would be a catastrophe!"
"Okay, so what's the disaster?" Seto asked his sugar high brother.
"The prince is holding a ball and you can't go!" Mokuba said bouncing up and down.
"That's not a disaster; I quite like it in the dungeon."
"Seto, you don't mean that, you have to go to the ball," Mokuba broke out his lethal weapon, puppy dog eyes, "pretty please Seto."
Seto imagined Pegasus having a heart attack since neither of them were following the script, "Fine, but only because you asked me to, I'm not doing it for Pegasus."
"Yay, thank you Seto!" Mokuba shrieked throwing his arms around his brother, "oh I'm suppose you need a better dress." He hit Seto on the head with his wand with a surprising amount of force.
"Ow, that hurt!" Seto complained, but Mokuba ignored him and threw a handful of silver glitter on him, "what was that for?" Seto asked as the spot light dimmed and he was pulled off to the dressing room to quickly change into his new dress.
The lights went back up on the main stage and everyone started moving again, a little stiffly.
"Would you like to dance?" Weevil asked Bandit Keith, about three times his height.
"Ok," Keith replied in his normal low voice. They began to dance around along with Rex and Mako. A fanfare played.
"Make way for the prince of this land, the most handsomest prince the world ever did see! Prince John Charming!" Honda announced.
They could of given me a grander name... Jounouchi muttered in his head, strutted on, everyone clapped.
Seto was pushed on to the stage in his brand new white Chinese style dress with a slit up one of the legs which came up to the middle of his thigh. Everyone froze again and the lights went down, a spot light on Seto. Mokuba flew down from the ceiling on wires and said in a wavy voice: "Seeeeett- I mean, Cindereeeeeellllaaaaaaaa, don't forgeeeeeeeeeet, you must be home by miiiiiiiiiidniiiiiiiiight or the spell on your dreeeeeessss and the carriage will wear oooooooooooooooooffff." Everything went back to normal and Mokuba waved as he whizzed back up to the rafters.
"Wow, she's really pretty," Jounouchi muttered to Honda.
"Don't you know who 'she' is?" Honda asked, amazed that his friend couldn't recognise Seto Kaiba when he was wearing a dress.
"No, who?"
"Nevermind," Honda sighed, "You'll find out eventually."
"She is Cinderella though?"
"Yes," Honda replied.
Yugi's voice came over the speakers, "the dance went on, Prince John danced with four ladies, but for the fifth dance he chose Cinderella."
Seto looked around trying to find the prince amongst the men in drag and in costumes which he thought the prince would probably be wearing. Suddenly someone took his hand; Seto looked down and saw Jounouchi with a crown slipping over his eyes.
"Would you like to dance?" the blonde 'prince' asked.
"If I don't I'm going to have to go to Disneyland, so yes," Seto replied realising he was about a head taller than Jounouchi.
"Great!" Jounouchi said happily leading Seto to the centre of the stage. The main lights dimmed and a spot light shone down on the dancing couple.
Seto's heart was beating rather fast as he danced with Jounouchi who was only slightly better at dancing than acting, and was treading on Seto's toes every now and then. He had been in love with Jounouchi for a while now, but had always thought it was going to be unrequited.
"You're really pretty," Jounouchi told him, his microphone had been switched off during the dance.
Seto blushed, "you have no idea who I am, do you?"
"Sorry, I don't."
Just as well then, Seto thought knowing Jounouchi would probably run away if he found out who was playing Cinderella.
"However before the fifth dance could end the clock began to strike midnight," Yugi's narration began, "and Cinderella had to flee."
Seto, who had been enjoying himself so much whist dancing with Jounouchi (despite the protests from his toes), didn't hear this and was about to carry on dancing.
"You have to run off stage now," Jounouchi hissed helpfully causing Seto of turn a pretty shade of pink.
"Thanks," Seto said quietly before dashing off the stage.
"You idiot! You're supposed to leave a shoe!" Pegasus could be heard yelling off stage and a moment later one of the silver high heels Seto had been wearing flew through the air, narrowly missed Honda's head and smacked Bandit Keith right in the back of his.
Honda bent down and picked up the shoe, like he was supposed to, "my liege this is the only item left by your dance partner," he said presenting the shoe to the Jounouchi who was still gazing after Seto longingly.
"Oh...erm thanks," Jounouchi took the shoe and desperately tried to remember his lines. Thankfully Yugi was on hand.
"The prince decided that he would search the land for the beautiful woman the show belonged to," he said.
"Yes that was it!" Jounouchi remembered, pushing the oversized crown back onto his head, "Bob-gummings, we must search high and low, leave no stone unturned...urm... check in every nook and cranny for my beautiful princess."
The stage went into black out and all the 'actors' piled off, crashing into the props table again causing a very angry Bakura to scream at them all again and Yami to tell him off loudly for being so loud.
When the lights came back on the scene had changed back into the evil stepmother's castle. Bakura, Anzu and Mai walked on stage accompanied (in fine panto tradition) by the boos and hisses of the audience.
"I have just received a letter from the prince," Bakura growled, "The prince is trying to find the girl who he danced the fifth dance with."
"But we don't know who it was," Anzu said.
"I do!" Bakura shouted dramatically, "go and fetch me my step-daughter."
Anzu and Main walked off stage and returned moments later with Seto, who was back in his rags, and refusing to go along with the script and be dragged onto the stage.
"You disobeyed me and went to the ball!" Bakura shouted at Seto who looked completely unbothered by all this.
"Yes I believe I did," he smirked. Backstage Pegasus was having a nervous breakdown, Seto should be cowering at the evil stepmother's feet not giving her attitude...maybe he should have cast Ryou as Cinderella. On second thoughts no, he really didn't want Cinderella being molested by the wicked stepmother... that was just creepy.
"Then I will lock you up in the dungeons until the prince has left!"
"Excellent, I like it down there, nice and quiet," and without any more encouragement Seto walked to the edge of the stage and sat down where the dungeons were supposed to be.
There was a long silence, Bakura was still supposed to be taunting Seto. Yugi decided to save the day once more, "Then the handsome prince arrived at the castle." There was the sound of someone knocking at the door and then Jounouchi wandered onto the stage, trying not to trip over his cloak.
"I have bought this shoe," he said holding the shoe high in the air (as per Pegasus's instructions in rehearsals), "the person it fits is my one true love."
"What happens if your one true love has the same shoe size as someone else?" Mai pointed out the obvious floor in the plan.
Jounouchi looked stumped, "I dunno, hadn't really thought about it."
"The prince ignored the ugly step sisters and proceeded to let them both try on the shoe," Yugi said quickly before any more plot holes could be found.
"Oh look, it's too big for both of you," Jounouchi said, "besides neither of you look like the person I was dancing with."
According to the script Seto was supposed to be calling for help but he seemed far too interested in working out where all the cables along the walls lead to. Finally, after a long awkward silence, Pegasus decided to fill in for him, "help help, they've locked me in this dungeon! I am you're one true love!" Seto jumped slightly and looked around as Jounouchi walked towards him.
"Hello gorgeous, wanna try this shoe on for me?"
Seto nodded and put the shoe on, it was a perfect fit.
"I have found you-" Jounouchi started but was interrupted.
"Look, I've played along this far, but I'm not going any further," Seto said, "I'm sure if you knew who I was you wouldn't want to kiss me."
"Who are you?" Jounouchi had dropped the prince persona.
Seto pulled off the long blond wig revealing his short chestnut brown locks, "It's me."
And to everyone's surprise Jounouchi kissed him anyway. Some of the fan girls in the audience looked as though they were about to burst into tears at the fact the object of their desires was being thoroughly kissed by another man. The majority however squealed happily at the hotness and began to take lots of pictures.
"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that," Jounouchi growled before kissing Seto again.
At this point Pegasus ran onto the stage, "you are ruining my vision!" he shouted dramatically.
"I'd say the story has ended pretty well, Cinderella is snogging the prince, it's a happy ending," Bakura shrugged as he walked off stage to change out of the hideous dress.
Once Seto and Jounouchi had parted long enough to be dragged off stage, the Disney princess style music played again and all the 'actors' went out to bow. According to the script they were supposed to sing some song Pegasus had created but all hurried off stage before it got past the introduction. The props table was knocked over again in the rush, but no one seemed to care as they all ran to change into their normal clothes, remove their makeup, and get to the after show party.
All in all, Seto had to admit as he danced with Jounouchi to 'can you feel the love tonight' (a song Pegasus had picked) in the bar that had been booked for them, it had been a good thing he'd given into Mokuba's blackmail.
Oh the insanity XD Sorry about some of teh characters having their dub names (or abridged series name in zombie boy's case), i couldn't remember teh japanese names and couldn't be bothered to look them up (plus they're so minor it doesn't actually matter that much). Oh and the 'can you feel the love tonight' song is the john barrowman version because... he rocks lol (search it on youtube, it's excellent)
Merry christmas and happy new year everybody!
Oh and well done to rage against the machine for getting the xmas number 1 spot!