Disclaimer: I don't own Harvest Moon or She's The Man :)
First of all, I wanna say that I'm sorry for not updating Golden Ranch but I freaking lost the chapter! I'm so sad and manically depressed because the whole bloody thing was three thousand words long!
So, in an attempt to cheer myself up (and so as not to get skewered by enraged readers) I hereby give you some comic relief. The original trailer of "She's the Man" can be found here: watch?v=D4OhwrMidSU in youtube. You can use their voices for references. Most characters are from IoH (which is totally my domain) but a few are the main characters from other DS games.
Shout out to DWDOJO. Hey, man :D I think you can tell where I got a little inspiration from…
ALLUSION PRODUCTIONS PRESENTS
CHELSEA'S THE MAN
A Trailer Parody
The room is white, lacy, and extremely prissy. The group of young women are listening (un)attentively to their etiquette teacher.
"Ladies today we're going to go over the guidelines for graceful ladylike entrée into society."
A loud snore sounds through the room, and everyone turns to glance at the girl at the back. Chelsea wakes up with a snort and grins sheepishly.
The etiquette teacher makes a face and slaps her forehead.
Viola was facing a fate worse than death.
Chelsea enters her house and finds the Harvest Goddess shoving a frilly pink…dress-thing…in her face. "Ta-daaaa!!!"
"Sorry, mom. I have a strict no ruffles policy."
Until her twin brother Sebastian…
"Where are you going?"
As Jack packs his bags, he accidentally grabs their dog Toto and stuffs him in a duffel.
"I'm checking out Gramps' farm in Mineral Town. Just for a few weeks."
Chelsea blinks. "But what about Sunny Ranch?"
"I was hoping you could help me with that."
…Showed her a way out.
Jack takes his cap off and clamps it on Chelsea's head. "The old geezer there won't let a girl work at the farm. Could you like, pretend to be a guy?"
Toto pops his furry face out of the bag and whines.
Claire is laughing at her cousin. "You want…me to turn you into a guy?"
Jill intercedes. "No one on the island has met her yet. They wouldn't know the difference."
"Yeah, with boobs like that."
Chelsea crosses her arms across her small chest defensively.
Now, she's headed to Sunny Island…
Chelsea steps onto the island sand and grins, the breeze ruffling her bangs beneath her cap.
Where the work is a pain…
Chelsea is unsuccessfully pushing the cows out into the open, using various methods and positions to get it out of the barn. "Nnggghhh…ugh…arrghhh…"
"Mooo…"
…And the townspeople even worse.
Eliza bounces up to Chelsea. "OMG! OMG! You're so dreamy…"
"Huh? Oh, thanks—ow!" The rancher clutches the knee Charlie kicked.
"Don't talk to my girlfriend!"
Eliza giggles.
Chelsea enters the diner, and everyone turns to the newcomer. "Uh…what up?"
Vaughn snorts at his milk.
"We're gonna be tight, bro!" Chelsea pumps her fist.
"Seriously, how old are you?" Denny asks.
"A pony!"
"Seriously? Are you gay?" Natalie raises a critical eyebrow.
Chelsea grins sheepishly. "Heh."
"There is something odd about that boy…" Sabrina tells Mark.
Chelsea swaggers into the cafe, adjusting her cap. "Sup?"
Pierre gawks as Chelsea flinches and awkwardly hugs herself, clad in harvest sprite-patterned pajamas. "You are SO busted—oof!"
Vaughn walks off, shaking the sting off the hand that hit Pierre.
But at this island, everyone's got a secret.
Elliot gets a nosebleed as Julia and Lanna pass by in slow motion. "Wow…"
Duke wants Olivia…
Vaughn stares as Lanna closes her compact. "Do you like…cheese?"
Who wants Sebastian…
"How ya doin', babe?" Chelsea grins lazily.
Lanna fans herself.
Who is really Viola…
Chelsea cheers as she cannonballs into the river by Jack's ranch, hair loose for once.
Whose brother is dating Monique…
Witch Princess frowns as she adds frog's toe to her potion with a relatively loud 'boom!'
So she hates Olivia…
"Hey, cutie-pie." Lanna twirls her hair and leans into Vaughn.
Who is dating Duke…
Vaughn and Denny bump fists and do their 'secret handshake'.
To make Sebastian jealous...
"What does your heart tell you?" Chelsea puts a hand on Vaughn's arm.
He jerks away. "Huh?"
"I mean…which woman do you wanna see naked!"
Who is really Viola getting jealous…
Chelsea shoots death glares as Lanna drags Vaughn by.
Because she wants Duke…
"Come 'ere and gimme a hug, big guy." Chelsea laughs as she jumps up to piggyback on Vaughn. "Yeehaw! Save a horse, ride a cowboy."
Who thinks she's a guy.
"Uh, okay, could you get off now?"
And this is where things get complicated.
Just as Chelsea and Vaughn are about to kiss, Jack pulls Vaughn back and gives him a solid punch to the face. Vaughn punches back.
Natalie slaps Lanna and stomps off. Lanna drags her back by the hair and starts a cat fight. Julia is screaming for them to stop.
Dr. Trent adjusts his eyeglasses. "Sexual tension—"
Chelsea slaps Vaughn.
"—Male-female dynamics"
Elliot attempts to kiss Julia and fails.
"All part of the teenage experience."
Sabrina's eyes roll to the back of her head and she faints in Mark's arms.
Witch Princess laughs maniacally as she adds one last ingredient to the pot. "Eureka!" An explosion later, she is covered in purple soot.
This Spring…
Vaughn frowns. "I'm not really that good at talking to girls."
"Why? You're hot!"
"What?"
"Er-hem, you know I mean that you're a man—guy, guy—man…guy…you know…"
Crickets.
The secret is out!
Chelsea Chapman,
Chelsea grins at her mirror and dances to herself.
Vaughn Vaults,
Vaughn hides a smile beneath his Stetson.
Lanna Crusoe,
Lanna gasps happily as a large-sized fish is put in her hands.
Denny Wilson,
Denny waggles his eyebrows and puffs his chest out, holding his fishing rod.
Julia Harris,
Julia tilts her head and presents a plate of her dubious cooking.
Jack Harvest,
Jack winks at the two hot girls in front of him.
Witch Princess,
Witch Princess raises an eyebrow and mutters an incantation.
and Timothy Trent
Tim swivels his chair around, grinning slightly, fingertips pressed together.
"I got lady troubles," Denny confesses.
Chelsea pats him and smirks smugly. "I gotta lifetime of knowledge!"
Chelsea gets hit on the crotch with a volleyball. Everybody winces and looks away.
"Oh, right…" She drops to her knees and curls up. "Oww! For the love of harvest sprites…it burns!!"
What can I say but that made me laugh? I hope it made you laugh too. The 'save a horse' bit was inspired from this awesome comic at:
priscy-elric. deviantart . com /Save-a-Horse-133538852 (take out the spaces. I know, erasing spaces annoys me too)