Story:Fighting Bad, Sushi Good
Summary: Simon 'forces' Izaya and Shizuo to eat sushi together. After waking up in a cell that is even suppose to be relatively Shizuo-proof, Shizuo and Izaya are not pleased at all. Semi-Crack-fanfiction.
Disclaimer: I don't own Durarara!/DRRR!

"What the hell is this?! And why are you here?!" Shizuo demanded, glaring at Izaya, as he trotted over to grab him by the shirt.

"Why are you looking at me like I would know? Shouldn't you be asking the one who put us in here that? Then again, shouldn't that large bowl of sashimi over there be enough to answer that question~?" Izaya gave a wry yet irritated smirk. Seriously, this was one of the last situations he would have ever wanted to end up in with Shizuo.

"Fighting bad, sushi good, da? Be careful, Shi-zu-o, I-za-ya, or you might have to become Sushi, da?" a voice said from behind the door.

"Now, Simon, there really was no need to go this far, ne?" he backed away from Shizuo, as he was completely unarmed.

- "Please let me out, Simon. I really am going to die to here if you don't. You should already know that by now, ne? Well shit... Guess I'm out of luck, huh?"

Shizuo grabbed the bowl of Sushi, running toward Izaya. "I'll kill you for this!"

"I told you, I honestly was not the one behind this! Really now, so why are you running after lil' ol' me~?"

- "Why did I have to say it like that? Great, now I'm pushing my luck even further..."

"You really do doubt what Simon threatened, don't you? Are you trying to get me turned into Sushi, Shizu-chan? Quite honestly, I'm really not prepared for such a thing. While you may not mind having it happen to you, I do happen to value my life quite a lot. I, myself, want to live as long as possible if possible. On the other hand, if you want to become one with Russia, do it on your own time, will you? I am a rather busy person, believe it or not. I do have both yazuka members and clients to deal with."

Shizuo growled at his obvious nervous rambling, before shouting, "Urusaiiii! KUROSUKUROSUKUROSUKUROSU! KILLKILLKILL!"

"My, what intelligent language, Shizu-chan~!" Izaya said, as he was now being chased around the large concrete room by the monster. When he heard a loud crash in front of him and saw that the bowl had been thrown and shattered into the wall, he sighed, turning around.

"Come now, Shizuo-kun, don't be like that. I'm really not enjoying this anymore than you are, right now." he simpered, slightly sympathetic for the first time for the monster in front of him. It wasn't a lie.

And..., anyhow, because the narrator just happened to oh so conveniently get extremely lazy all of a sudden, we're going to skip to very end of this so terrible and tragic event to say that Shizuo and Izaya decided to put Shizu's brute strength and Iza's mastermind(literally) together to find a way out of that brick-like room.

Despite the fact that Simon's plans and intentions were relatively innocent, rumors were still heard that he had ended up in the hospital, recovering from one hell of a physical trauma. Poor Simon. Some times, doing the right thing for a good cause just isn't enough.

And many wondered after that little incident if Shizuo and Izaya would ever be able to get along. Probably not, but oh well. Was it for the best?

Ah... Who knows~?

Maybe, and that's why it has made everything all the more interesting and lovely for this oh so dear to the series, and of course vise versa, narrator.

Ja ne~

A/N: What do you think? Good bad? I guess this was crack, but I did still try to keep it in character, ne? Tell me what you think? Onegai? Onegaishimasu?