Title: Everything's Made to Be Broken
Author: snarkysweetness
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Skye, May, Coulson, & Fitz; mentions to Philinda
Summary: When May and Coulson return to find Skye's bunk empty Melinda assumes the worst.
Warnings: Brief mention to suicidal thoughts.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Author's Notes: I would get this done right before it gets Jossed.
"Don't you think she's a little old for Mickey Mouse pancakes, Phil?" Melinda asked as he unpacked the bag of groceries.
He grinned and shrugged, pulling out pans and utensils. "I think she'll appreciate it. Pass me the pan greaser, please.
Melinda shook her head and unpacked her own bag, handing him the spray can. "Well, Director, while you're up here playing Mr. Mom I'm going to check in on Skye."
"Great idea. Keep her away; I want to surprise her when it's all done."
Melinda was sure Skye couldn't eat pancakes, bacon, eggs, and potatoes but Phil was peeling and mixing away. She didn't have the heart to point it out so she let him be. Between Fitz and Mack the feast he was preparing wouldn't go to waste.
It was such a Phil thing, using food for comfort. She must have gained ten pounds after their first bad mission from his cooking alone.
Melinda walked around the base and slowly realized Skye was nowhere to be found. Her stomach hardened and twisted and she fought back nausea.
No, no, no.
Skye had to be here.
Somewhere.
Anywhere.
"Skye!" She called, running into the garage. She opened every SUV and nothing. She wasn't in the lab, wasn't in the training rooms, wasn't in the common areas.
Her room!
Melinda rushed down to the dorms and for Skye's bunk. She didn't have to fling the door open because it was already ajar.
"No," she moaned, about to be sick. Not only was it empty but her dresser and closer were cleared out. Her luggage was missing. She was gone.
Melinda pressed herself against the wall and fought the urge to cry. She didn't have time for this, she had to find her. She had to bring her home.
What the hell had happened while they were gone?
"Phil, she's gone!"
Melinda couldn't keep the edge out of her voice. Skye was out there somewhere, alone, and she was terrified.
Phil turned around in his Captain America apron and threw his whisk down. "What do you mean she's gone? Where the hell did she go?"
He was already halfway to his office and she was right on his heels. "Hurry up, Phil!" She yelled, impatiently. How long did it take to rewind surveillance footage?
"She's in the cage," a small voice said from the door. Melinda turned, relieved she was still home and confused as to why. "I tried to stop her and she won't come out…I'm sorry."
"Don't be, Fitz," Phil said, touching his shoulder. "At least she's safe-Melinda, wait!"
She wasn't going to wait, she was furious. She'd been close to have a goddamn heart attack. That girl did nothing but rattle her nerves. When she got her hands on her-
"You can't even kno-"
Melinda crushed Skye against her chest, hugging her tightly. "Don't you dare do that me again. You pull another fucking stunt like that and I will throw your ass in that vault for my own sanity, got it?"
"May," Skye struggled to say, squirming, "what are you-"
"I thought you were gone." Not just now. But when she's shot herself…for a moment Melinda had forgotten she was carrying an Icer. That was the most terrifying moment of her life, thinking Skye was gone. Remembering how it felt to be in her position. How many times had she turned her gun on herself in those days? How many times had Phil been forced to bring her back? She'd broken them then because she was too far gone to care and she refused to see Skye do the same.
Not her baby girl.
Never.
Skye hesitated for a moment and returned the hug. "I'm sorry, I just…they're all afraid and…I don't want to risk-"
"Did you know it was an Icer?"
Melinda felt Skye tense and she had her answer.
She pulled away angrily. "Don't you ever…that is so selfish and stupid and what were you thinking!?"
Melinda ignored the tears on Skye's face, too angry to let them sway her. "I…I had to make it stop-"
"You don't get to quit just because it's hard-"
"I'm dangerous!"
"We're all dangerous!" Melinda snapped. "Most of us are trained killers. Fitzsimmons…I don't even want to think about what those two could do if they went dark. We're all capable of horrible things, Skye, but…" Melinda fought the urge to cry and cupped Skye's cheek. "Not you. You're good, Skye."
"People need to stop saying that," Skye whispered with a shake of her head. "Trip died because of-"
"Trip died because he wanted to do the right thing. This happened to you because you were trying to do the right thing.
You're not dangerous, Skye. Something terrible happened to you and we're going to deal with it. We don't run. We don't take the coward's way out. Got it? You fight, Skye. You fight like hell."
"I'm sorry," Skye whispered, more tears falling.
"Don't be sorry, be stronger."
Skye's shoulders slumped and she leaned into Melinda, sobbing. Melinda pulled her into another hug fiercely. She wasn't trying to be cruel but…didn't Skye understand she couldn't live without her? Phil…they needed her.
"I know it's hard, Skye," she whispered, allowing a single tear to fall. "We can't go back, Skye. All we can do it deal with this and move forward. Learn to accept you're different now and love yourself the way I still love you. I will always love you."
Skye buried her face in Melinda's neck and cried harder. Melinda stroked her hair, rocking her gently.
"And trust me, it's hell; trying to be who you used to be."
"You've got to learn to let the girl go," Phil whispered from the doorway, echoing his words to her all those years ago.
Melinda lifted her head and made room for Phil who wrapped his arms around both of them.
"You can't undo what's been done, Skye. The guilt, it'll be with you forever. But clinging to that? To the person you want to be? That's not how life works. You can blame yourself for the things you can't control or-"
"You can accept this is a part of you and learn to control it." Melinda finished.
"I don't…how?"
Melinda and Phil met eyes over Skye's head and she knew what he was thinking. He gave her 'the look' and she sighed, nodding.
"We know someone," Melinda said. "A therapist who specializes in helping people on the index."
"You're not going to put me-"
"Of course not," Phil whispered, taking her hand. "But he can help."
"I hate shrinks."
"I'm not his biggest fan, but he's good."
Skye gave Phil a 'look'.
"If you don't like him why are you-"
"He doesn't like him because I was married to him," Melinda said with a sigh.
Skye's eyes went wide. "You were…to a shrink?"
"It's a long story."
"Can I hear it?"
"No."
Skye made a face and pouted. "Fine, but I'm not going back there. Everyone…they think I'm a monster."
"They're wrong," Phil insisted.
Melinda kissed Skye's temple and began packing her things.
"I said I'm not-"
"What made you think you have a choice in this?" Melinda gave her a look, daring her to challenge her. "You're family, Skye. You're not going to hide in here like a criminal. They'll get used to it. It's not like Hunter's never killed someone for money, or Bobbi hasn't taken out a diplomat or two, and if you saw Mack's file…if anyone says a word they'll have me to deal with."
Skye smiled and Melinda winked. No one was going to make her feel like an outcast. They were all in this together. They were all broken, all battling their own demons; no one had any right to turn on her.
Melinda led Skye back to her bunk, glaring at the looks other agents sent Skye's way. Phil went back to the kitchen to finish making everyone breakfast for dinner.
"Shower, put on something comfortable, and come to dinner. Coulson is very excited about feeding you."
Skye nodded and gave Melinda a hug around the middle. "Thank you."
Melinda cradled her head against her chest and smiled. "Anytime and remember if you ever scare me again, it won't be pretty.
And I meant what I said…you have a good heart, Skye. They'll remember that soon."
Melinda released her and headed for the door.
"So do you," Skye whispered.
Melinda turned in confusion. "What?"
Skye smiled. "Have a good heart. You try to hide it but…" Skye glanced down, blushing, before meeting her eyes. "You care about all of us."
Melinda smiled and moved into the hallway. "Don't go around spreading lies about me now, Skye," Melinda teased, pulling the door closed.
"Wouldn't dream of it," Skye muttered from behind the door and Melinda smirked.
She had one hell of a kid.