Author's Note: Mio here! This story was inspired by the opening sequence to the video game iPokémon Snap/i. This is nothing but pure crack, so enjoy accordingly. I hope you like my first story! Reviews are always appreciated.
Stepping lightly so as not to disturb the fauna, Roy drove deeper into the forest. Sweat dripped down his forehead and he tightly grasped his camera. This was his lifeblood and his passion: he wanted nothing more than to capture each and every Pokémon on film before he passed from this life. As the grass crunched softly under his worn brown boots, his eyes scanned the dense trees, searching for his elusive prey. His pockets weighed down with apples and Pester Balls, it was all he could do not to trudge loudly across the humid jungle. The end of his day drew near: he would have to retreat back to HQ for food and water before long.
Oh, how he wished to make Professor Oak proud! He had captured each and every majestic Pokémon on film, each picture proof of his photographic prowess. However, one final species had long eluded him. Certainly, numbers one through one hundred and fifty graced the annals of his albums, but there was still more to see.
Number one hundred and fifty-one. Mew.
Today, he would meet face-to-face with his long-time rival. The seductive, fleet-footed, secretive pokémon could run no longer. He had chased it long enough, he had decided. Though the battle had been long, winners had come and gone, he had carried on. He had spent hours in the library, voraciously devouring every tome even mentioning the name "Mew." He had personally perfected the Pester Ball and augmented the smell of the Pokémon food. He had scoured every corner of the island, carefully researching where Mew lived most often. His work had paid off: he had calculated the exact latitude and longitude where the tiny pink ball of fluff would be lying in wait, perhaps to humiliate him one more time.
No! He mentally screamed in frustration. Today was different. Today was the day that Roy would make Pokémon history, the day that his name would appear in books all over every region. He raised his camera and perfected the focus. Perfect weather, perfect placement, perfect bait, perfect research. Mew was sure to appear.
Suddenly, at the very corner of his peripheral vision, the shrubs stirred. Pivoting sharply, he caught a quick glimpse of long, pink tail. His hands trembled on the trigger of his camera. Then, he began to shoot.
Shot after shot after shot! Roy captured the pokémon to end all pokémon on his trusty camera. However, his efforts had been almost in vain—indeed, he had only gotten for himself a handful of pictures of Mew's glorious ass. The creature winked wryly at Roy as it disappeared in a glittery pink lens flare.
Our hero fell to his knees. His life's goal had beautifully eluded him once more. Post-adrenaline rush, Roy became painfully aware of the perspiration drenching his hideous striped shirt, the ache permeating every joint of his body, and his crushed camera lens. Consumed with righteous frustration at this injustice, he tore at his hair and classily and dejectedly screamed to the heavens,
"…SHIT!"
The end.