Author's Note: I wrote this same story awhile back but wasn't at all satisfied with it. So I did a little reworking. Hope that you find it improved. I love your feedback!

***7***

Band of Brothers

Hannah McFadden shivered and wrapped her arms around herself. She stood alone at the broad opening of the dark mine; alone even though people surged all around her. People came and went from the mine talking rapidly and gathering around maps and old diagrams. Glancing over her shoulder, she could see out into the clear light of day. People were gathered there, too. She could see the news vans that had pulled up a few hours ago - searching for that great personal interest story. She shuddered inwardly wondering if it would end joyously or with a tragedy.

All around her, everyone was talking but all she could hear was the constant pounding of her heart in her chest and the memory of Daniel's frightened voice calling out his oldest brother's name as he skidded across the lawn.

"Adam! Adam!" Daniel's voice shattered the peace of the chilly morning. They all heard him; all came running to him.

She couldn't form words, so shocked was she by the sight of Daniel's filthy, pale appearance - blood dripping from his forehead. Crane went to him immediately, his hand reaching up to his forehead, but Daniel pushed him away.

"No! We gotta go back! The mine! They . . . We gotta . . . I should've never . . . Adam! I'm so sorry!"

"Danny," She turned shocked at the sound of Adam's cool, clipped tones." His face was white and he reached a trembling hand to grip Daniel's arm. "What happened?"

"We were . . . and the mine collapsed but I was and . . ."

It was impossible to breathe and even harder to speak but somehow she heard herself manage a strained, "The boys? Are the boys alright?"

"I couldn't hear them."

The world began to dim; her vision narrowing to a tunnel. She fought it - fought tooth and nail to stay calm and to fight the raging torrent of absolute terror.

She didn't really remember leaving the house or driving to the mine. She remembered Daniel's voice, the white faces of Crane and Brian, and the brittle tone of Adam's voice. She watched as her sweet husband turned inward - shutting himself off to every emotion as he carried the weight of three brothers trapped beneath the earth, and three brothers trapped above.

Now, hours later, she was trying to navigate the dangerous path between the shattered fragments of the McFadden family as Daniel and Adam fought a private war. She felt the familiar tug-of-war within her heart, as her compassion for Daniel was at odds with her compassion for Adam.

And she couldn't allow herself to think of Evan, Ford or Guthrie.

They had been so cheerful at the breakfast table this morning - all of them polite and helpful. She chalked it up to Jenny's influence - trying to behave like gentlemen around a girl. Now, looking backwards at it, she could see clearly that they were about to sneak off on a dangerous adventure. She rubbed a hand over her face and paced the entrance to the mine, shaking herself away from thoughts of the littlest McFaddens.

"There you are!" Marie's voice cut into her thoughts. "You are still in here! Hannah! It's freezing! Come outside and warm up a little!"

"No. I think that Adam should be headed out soon. I heard someone say that they were going to make them take a break." She turned to Marie but kept her eyes from meeting those of her compassionate friend.

"And it would be good for him to hold on to your warm fingers, when he does, Hannah. Come on, now. You aren't doing anyone any good by making yourself suffer." She reached out and grabbed Hannah by the elbow, guiding her toward the bright daylight.

She pushed Hannah past workers preparing to go down into the mine to free the boys, to where the press stood hovering, like coyotes stalking their prey.

"Someone is coming out of the mine now. Let's see what . . ."

"Here comes someone. Maybe they have an update."

"We aren't sure who this is. Let's wait and see. We saw earlier today when little Jenny Barrett's parents arrived and saw her poor, stricken mother. Perhaps this is . . . no. It is no one."

Hearing their voices as they spoke into their microphones was like facing an all out assault. Their words felt like rocks thrown at her already bruised heart.

"Hey, ladies!" One of them called out. "Any news from down there? Anyone important headed this way? Where's the boys mother?"

Marie ignored them, only glaring their direction and led Hannah to a nearby bench.

"Sit. I'll get you a cup of coffee." She said pushing Hannah down. She sat numbly, her eyes fixed on the scene before her. This long day had taught her they would be coming up soon. They were forced to take breaks, and they would stumble out into the bright light of day, cold, exhausted and panicked.

She bit her lip, recognizing she was dangerously close to losing it, and knew that when they surfaced, she'd have to be calm and controlled. Adam needed her steady and strong. She couldn't give in to the relentless fear that had come occupy her hollow heart.

"Here." Marie said, returning with a steaming styrofoam cup. "Drink it. Your lips are blue."

She settled next to Hannah on the bench, one hand resting on Hannah's knee.

"They said they are coming up in twenty minutes." Marie said to her. "So, that means you can fall apart for fifteen, and then use the last five to pull it back together."

She turned to smile sadly at Hannah. One of the things she'd always appreciated about Marie was that she wasn't a woman who held things back. She didn't play games or pull punches. She said it like it was - told you what you needed to hear - whether or not you wanted to hear it.

"I can't." Her voice was a choked whisper. She set the cup down on the ground beside the bench, covering her face with her hands. "If I . . ."

"Oh, I know, honey. I thought I'd say it just the same." Marie said gently. She reached over and squeezed Hannah's hand. "I can't figure how you are managing it - except it is what we do, isn't it?" She sighed and reaching out brushed the hair back from Hannah's forehead. The two women sat together in silence, Hannah, her body tense, her jaw tight, while beside her Marie, lovingly rubbed her shoulder. After a long time, Marie spoke again, "I sure am glad I gave you that job - even if you quit after six weeks."

She wrapped a comforting arm around Hannah's shoulder, and Hannah allowed herself to rest briefly against Marie's shoulder - saying nothing - incapable of words. She sighed deeply so grateful that after her long, solitary beginning, she had come to be surrounded by family.

"Don't listen to those reporters, Hannah. They don't know a damn thing. They are just after a story. They don't know anything about families and who the important people are. Those boys now just who you are and where you fit in, and I believe with all my heart they'll be okay, and in your loving arms again."

Hannah could feel herself shattering, and rose up suddenly. "They'll be coming out soon." She said abruptly, rushing away from Marie and back to the darkness of the mine. She should have turned back to thank her dear friend, but found it impossible. Marie knew too much and could see too deeply. The truth would shatter her completely.

***7***

Seeing the brothers argue made everything worse. She could see how badly Daniel need reassurance from Adam, but could also see how impossible it was for Adam to give it. All of them were on edge and none of them were saying anything that they were thinking or feeling. None of them really talked to her, either - not even Adam. She understood it - knowing he couldn't manage his feelings just now - any more than she could. They were all simply hanging on - surviving from one minute to the next.

She wondered what it would be like afterwards. Would it only occur to them then, that all of this; all of it - was her fault?

***7***

"You should try and get some rest." Adam said to her, as he and his brothers prepared to go back into the mine.

She shook her head saying nothing, but handed him his gloves instead. They stood apart from the brothers, just a few feet from the mine opening. He gathered his supplies, lifting the heavy oxygen tank onto his back. She felt his eyes on her, and knew that he felt as conflicted as she did. No doubt, he wanted to fall into her embrace and give way to all the fear, but instead he sighed deeply and shifted the straps of his tank. This was part of their surviving; even when they were alone they barely touched each other. She knew if she reached out to him, they would both fall apart, so instead she sighed and adjusted a strap to his tank which was twisted. He flinched even at this brief contact, and she plastered a smile across her face.

"You be careful, Adam. Listen to what they are saying. Don't be reckless. Just be careful, please." The last word faded as her voice became choked and she glanced away from him, unable to meet his eyes. He hesitated a second but then resumed preparing to go back into the dark hole that held his brothers; that held their hearts. But then he paused, surprising her, and chipping away at the hard shell she'd built around herself in the last five hours. His familiar work-rough hand brushed her cheek briefly.

"Hey, sweetheart it will. . ." He began, but was unable to finish the sentence, his voice thick with emotion. He swallowed hard and then drawing a steadying breath, said sternly. "Go get warmed up, baby. Your fingers are like ice."

She nodded, chewing at the inside of her lip, fighting about seven hundred things she wanted to say to him. Just as she opened her mouth to at least say how much she loved him, Brian passed by, squeezing her shoulder as he headed back down into the darkness. They were forever interrupted by brothers. She smiled up at Adam, as she turned to nod at Brian.

"We'll get 'em out, Hannah." He said confidently, but she could hear the fear in his voice.

"I know you will." She managed to say, hoping that her faith wouldn't be broken.

Crane passed by with Daniel at his side. It was typical Crane behavior - even in the midst of everything, he kept a watchful eye, and tender hand on his younger brother. Daniel's head was down, shame carved into his features. Her heart ached for Daniel; she glanced around the circle of tall men surrounding her. Her heart ached for all of them, and for the faces missing from the circle.

"Don't try and climb in after them, Hannah." Crane said in a half-hearted attempt to tease. "Let us do the heavy lifting." He smiled sadly and kissed her cheek. She said nothing, but returned his smile, while reaching out to grab, Daniel's arm, pulling him toward her.

"Be careful, Daniel." She said, running a hand along his cheek. He looked completely miserable and her heart welled with compassion for him. He was such a wild combination; their tenderhearted daredevil. He wouldn't look up - refusing to meet any of their eyes. She shook her head, and pulled him into a tight embrace and keeping him close, whispered in his ear, "You are a good brother, Daniel. You would never hurt them."

If Adam couldn't reassure his brother right now, she damn well could. She was surprised when he clung tightly to her as the sound of his soft, "I'm so sorry," broke her heart. Releasing her, he rushed away toward the mine, with Crane a step behind.

She stepped back and found herself under the stunned and tearful gaze of Brian, who reached out wordlessly, squeezing her hand. "We'll get 'em out, Sis." He said gently, all his normal bravado gone from his voice, and then followed after his wounded younger brothers.

"Why you gotta do crap like that?" Adam's voice startled her and she turned to see his eyes filling with tears. "I gotta keep it together, baby and you . . ." He shook his head at her as tears spilled over, running down his chiseled face. He lifted a hand waving it at her and turned away.

"Adam?" She followed after him, as he stumbled away from her and away from any overly curious onlookers. Wishing she could embrace him fully, she reached out and rubbed gentle circles on his strong shoulder. "I'm sorry. I was just . . .He is so broken-hearted and I can't just . . ."

"I know, darlin' and I swear I'm trying but I can only manage so much at a time. I can't deal with Daniel right now. I really, really can't." His whole body communicated volumes to her; he was clearly tormented - trapped between brothers - trying to manage the completely unmanageable.

"That's okay. I'll step in."

This simple sentence destroyed any resolve he had left, and she watched as his strong features crumpled into grief. She faced him directly now - for the first time in hours and hours, her tear-filled eyes locking tight onto his. She reached up, her hands on his strong arms, and not even trying to dodge their tumultuous emotions, she continued softly, "That's why I'm here."

He shook his head as more tears spilled out. "Ah, hell!" He said angrily, stepping away from her and sliding the oxygen tank off his back. It was difficult to watch him suffer, but knew if she wrapped her arms around him, he wouldn't be able to pull himself back together quickly. And much as he might find comfort in her arms, she knew he longed to go back down into the darkness and find his brothers. He had turned from her - first bent over in grief, and then squatted low, his head down, his shoulders shaking. She stepped closer, and fought hard to keep herself from wrapping arms around him. Instead she bent low, a hand on his shoulder and steadying her voice as much as she could began to quietly whisper encouragements.

"You can do this, Adam. You can. You'll figure a way to get them out, and they'll be fine. You'll see. And later, you'll make things right with Daniel, too." She found her voice gaining strength as she spoke to him. "You can do this. I know it. It's gonna be okay. Somehow, I know it. It's gonna be okay. All the boys will be home soon." She gripped his arm tightly. "Go on, sweetheart. Take a deep breath. You can do it."

He looked up at her then, his dark eyes red-rimmed with exhaustion and tears. He reached out, gripping her arms and rose so that they stood facing each other again, but this time, the grief was replaced with strength, and love.

"You . . . get . . ." He choked out each word, biting his lip against fresh tears. "Some sleep, girl, ya hear?" He leaned forward and kissed her deeply, passionately, and then abruptly released her, pausing just long enough to lift the heavy tank back on his shoulder before disappearing into the darkness of the mine.

She stood alone, again, surrounded by people who continued to hustle back and forth. She stood still watching after him for a long time; unable to move, unable to speak, unable to even breathe as a whispered prayer repeated over and over deep in her heart, "Please God! Please! They've lost so much! Take no more!"

***7***

Keeping busy helped some. They made coffee. They made sandwiches. They paced. She kept a watchful eye on the mine opening, and on Jenny's mother. She wanted to say something to her, but felt awkward and anxious. After all, it was her fault Jenny was lost. Their only child - a child who had come to them with great difficulty. It was like she didn't understand how hard it was to accept that children wouldn't come easily, and couldn't dare to imagine the glorious joy of actually holding a child in your arms at long last. And now, Jenny was deep in the darkness of the mine - maybe already . . .

She should've done a better job watching over her. She should've demanded to know where they were all going. She should have keep them all home! She glanced again at Mrs. Barrett. But how could she apologize?

"You are sure she was dressed warm?" The question startled her, and she turned to find herself staring into the face of Carey Barrett.

"Ye - ess." She answered. "She had on a warm sweater." Hannah repeated the answer she'd given to the same question earlier.

She watched as the older woman wrapped her coat tighter around herself. "It must be so cold down there."

Hannah said nothing, but felt her heart begin to pound in her chest. "I'm so . . ."

"I can't . . ." Carey Barrett said lifting a hand. "I can't absorb any apologies. I can only think of Jenny." She met Hannah's eyes and lifted the cruelest slicing blow before leaving her alone. "She is my daughter. You can't understand how this feels."

Hannah staggered backwards completely devastated. She tried somehow to fight her way through her emotions and recognize that Carey Barrett was not a cruel woman by nature - that her statement probably had very little to do with Hannah at all, but rather her own fears and anger. Hardly anyone outside the family knew of the miscarriage anyway - and even the younger brothers didn't understand the impact of all that had happened - that she had nearly died, that their chances of conceiving had been cut in half.

She swallowed down bitter tears, and struggled away from the table laden with food and coffee - away from the guilt and nearly tumbled directly into Crane who emerged from the mine alone. Her face grew white.

"No!" Crane said immediately recognizing her panic. "Everyone's okay. Adam's okay."

"I thought . . ."

"No, I just . . . maybe you should sit down. You look like you are gonna faint." He put a hand under her arm, and it was only as they moved forward together that she realized he was limping.

"Crane! You are hurt!" She turned toward him, and led him to a nearby stump.

"A big rock came down and hit me on the foot - just standing in the wrong stupid spot at the wrong stupid time! Adam's just being a worrywart and wanted me to get it checked out. It's okay, Hannah."

But she was already kneeling and undoing the laces of his boot. She gently lifted his foot out of his boot, and studied his foot and ankle - even peeling back his sock.

"Can you move it?" She asked him, focused now on years of first aid training. "Rotate it for me."

He moved his foot, and she nodded her head. "That's good. It isn't broken. It's already bruising though." She slid the sock back over his foot. "You should ice it, but I don't imagine you'll consider it." She sat back on her heels and peered up into his face. He said nothing, his blue eyes studying her. She shifted nervously under the intensity of his gaze.

"Crane . . ." She began, unsure.

"How the hell did we ever wind up with you?" He asked gently, reaching a hand out to touch her shoulder.

"Crane, I . . ."

"Adam just isn't that good-looking - hell, no one's good looking enough to make up for six rowdy brothers - not to mention an isolated, on-the-edge-of-failure, cattle ranch. It's not even like he's a sweet talker - unless you know something, I don't." He moved his hand to lift her chin, so that she couldn't avoid looking at him. "How the hell, did we get so lucky? Ain't nobody but someone who loves me would touch my filthy foot."

"Lucky enough to get your sweet baby brothers trapped under the earth and maybe . . ." She pushed his hand away, stopping herself, as his brows furrowed in confusion. He studied her thoughtfully, his look so intense that she rose to move away from it.

He stood, favoring his good leg, his foot inside his unlaced boot.

"Oh, God! It's Daniel times two! You think this is your fault?" He shook his head. "Why? Why would you even . . .? Hannah, what are you thinking?"

She didn't answer his question, but instead, knelt and laced his boot.

"That isn't too tight, is it? I know you don't want to rest, but you be careful Crane." She stubbornly refused to respond to his question.

"No, it's fine." He said quickly, and demonstrating that he could be equally stubborn, repeated, "Hannah, why? Why is it your fault?"

She rose and face him with a heavy sigh, recognizing that she wasn't going to be able to convince him to drop it.

"The gold was for me. Daniel said so. He said they wanted to get gold for a ring; for me." It was so ridiculously obvious, and she knew it was just a matter of time before Adam realized it too.

Crane considered this statement thoughtfully, and then asked, "You ask them to get you that gold, Hannah?"

"No, but don't try and . . ."

"You been secretly shaking my little brothers down for precious metals?"

"Crane," She shook her head in frustration. "I don't have time for this. You don't have time for this. Forget it."

"Oh, so you've got time to comfort Daniel when he's weighed down by guilt, but no time for you, huh?" He shook his head and smiled sadly at her. "Well, ain't that just like Hannah McFadden."

"Crane. Let it go." She could feel an unreasonable anger building up.

"No. 'Course you could just walk away from me. I'm not too fast on my feet just now." He raised an eyebrow at her. "But you won't because that would be rude, and might hurt my feelings. Jesus! Hannah! When is it ever your turn?"

"You are a college graduate and you said, 'ain't'." She said angrily. "And what? I'm some kind of saint, now?" She put a hand on her hip. "God! Now, I understand why Adam hates it so much! I'm not some kind of sainted angel because I love Adam and chose to make a life with him!"

"It ain't just him you love." He said pointedly.

"Stop saying 'ain't'."

"You love me, Hannah. I know it, and so does Daniel! Hell, even Brian knows you love him - which is well-beyond my ability to reckon! Why anyone would put up with his . . ." He stopped himself to hobble a step closer to her. He leaned in close and grew serious, "And Evan, Ford and Guthrie know you love them. You love them just as much as their own sweet Mama - and they know it - just like they know a dark sky brings rain. And that's why they climbed into that stupid mine to bring you some gold."

She had no response to this, but simple kept her eyes on the ground, studying the earth beneath her feet. She felt his hands on her arms then, and looked up into his face, unable to avoid his loving gaze.

"And if they had come to me this morning to see if I had wanted to tag along, I probably would've Hannah. I would've made Guthrie, Jenny and Ford waited outside that stupid mine, but I would've climbed down into that gaping maw of darkness to dig gold out for you. It's the kind of thing knights have been doing for ladies for centuries. We do it because we are men and sometimes words escape us and we are left with grand gestures to declare our devotion." He paused to kiss her forehead. "So, stop feeling guilty, Sis."

She watched him as he hobbled away from her, trying to sort out her emotions, wishing she could think of something to say to him. But before she got the chance he paused and said over his shoulder, "You better go wash your hands, Mrs. McFadden, you might not have noticed it while you were playing Florence Nightingale, but my foot is pretty damn, grimey."