Madam Secretary Story Collection |The Heart Never Gives Up
The Lonely-Hearts Club: In Which Blake and Elizabeth bond over trust and intimacy issues and cucumber facemasks.
Elizabeth McCord x Blake Moran (Friendship)
If Elizabeth had to sweet talk one more lobbyist she might just loose her mind. The number of bad jokes she had laughed at, awkward flirtations she avoided and mini quiches she'd stuffed into her mouth to avoid commenting on controversial topics was so numerous that she'd lost count. She could however deduce that she'd eaten too much because she could barely walk and felt bloated and tired.
Why America need to have a celebration for the anniversary of Matthew Perry's invasion in Japan Elizabeth would never know. But it was good for diplomacy. Good for building relationships with major players in the fisheries, businessmen from the US and Japan, and countless Japanese officials from all areas of importance. She didn't truly enjoy schmoozing with business men who bought her treats and drinks and the sweet talked her into accepting new policies and sanctions that would improve their businesses, but it would be rude to say no to free truffles and trifle.
But her dress felt tighter from all the food and she could feel her eyes shutting as she listened to new economic policies. So, Elizabeth called on Matt, the motor cade was arranged and they drove off to the hotel. Once she felt safe, surrounded by other cars and the sounds of traffic the only thing piercing through the window, she rests her head on the glass. As she shuts her eyes and presses her head on the glass, veins pulsing against her forehead. The problem with having a job that requires so much interaction is that you feel drained. Every happy cell turns to a frown. Every inch of dopamine that once pulsed through your veins gone. It's moments like these she craved someone, anyone. To make her laugh or be okay with her not wanting to laugh. To just have someone be there, a talk to her like everything was well even if the world was falling to pieces around them.
In other words, she needed Henry.
But sadly, so did his former colleagues at George Washington who had eagerly dragged him on an academic fieldtrip to Camino de Santiago.
"It's the oldest pilgrimage route in the world!" He'd grinned, packing his suitcase haphazardly. "And we get to go and see it! To experience the culture and walk the path of those before us who believed so strongly in their god they walked miles on end without food and water just to prove themselves to their god!"
"Uh huh, but you are gonna eat on your trip, right? And drink purified water and sleep in a non-sand and scorpion infested bed." Elizabeth called, undoing his messy folding and refolding them into neat and orderly piles.
"Uh…sure" he called from the closet.
"Okay then. So, I will just take this, fancy sleeping bag out of your bag then" Elizabeth teased pulling the sleeping bag from under the suitcase and running away with it.
"Hey! Come back here!" Henry had laughed, grabbing her waist and tossing her onto the to the bed.
"No!' Elizabeth yelped, laughing as he kissed her face and neck furiously.
Elizabeth smiled at the memory, but it hurt a little. She was used to being without Henry for long periods of time when he was in the Marines and even during her CIA days but sometimes there were days where she just needed him. Maybe it was selfish, maybe she was asking for too much but it was late and she just wanted to be loved. Just for a while.
"We're here mam." Matt informed her as one of her bodyguards opened the door.
"Thanks Matt" she sighed, hobbling out of the car in her heels as she headed to her room. Blake vanished into his abode of privacy, Matt and Daisy had gone off to 'catch up' and Nadine and Jay had gone off to sleep in their respective rooms. And as Elizabeth shut the door to her room, she threw her heels off and slid to the ground. She pulled out the bobby pins in her hair and loosening the knots. She listened to the footsteps of people wandering the halls, of her security guards fussing around and the cars honking in the distance. But mostly the silence was what was getting to her. The overarching silence however made her feel lonely. She thought about calling the kids but it was too early and they would be at school. And then there was Henry. Trekking through the lonely lands of Spain and having conversations about Saints and Popes and whatever religious scholars talk about to amuse themselves.
Infuriated by this feeling of weakness and dependence, she sprung up and unlocked her door. She peeked her head out of the door, scanning the perimeter. She quickly grabbed her clutch and slipped out. She tip-toed her way to the elevator, heels in her hands. She didn't take her eyes off of Matt's door and the other two guards. It was when she finally reached the button that she let out a breath and pumped her fist in the air.
"Mam. What are you doing?"
She twirled around to see Blake, facemask fresh and wrapped in a white fluffy robe.
"Blake. Hi, what are you doing up so late?" She asked, attempting to stall.
"I was taking a moment to recuperate. What are you doing?" he asked, worry beginning to cloud his eyes.
"Oh, just stepping out for a breath of fresh air that's all" she sighed, stretching her arms.
"Without your bodyguards?" Blake countered, his eyebrow twitching underneath the face mask that prevented him from raising his eyebrow.
She sighed "Okay I will make you a deal. Why don't I go upstairs and take a breather and if I am not back in 10 minutes you can tell Matt. Deal?"
"No mam because if you aren't back in 10 minutes you could be dead" Blake pointed out.
"I'm not going to die I just…"
Just then her phone cut her off, she groaned and scuffled around her bag looking for it to check the caller ID.
Russell Jackson
"Wonderful" Elizabeth muttered under her breath before swiping and taking the call.
"What Russell?"
"You and your staff need to fly out to Spain in 4 hours" said the voice of Russell, dismissive as always.
"I am assuming it's not to run with the bulls" she sighed.
"Metaphorically speaking, yes. You will be convincing the foreign minister to get three of Spain's top car manufacturers to continue supplying their vehicles to the US so they don't run our economy into the ground."
"And why is this suddenly an issue?"
"Because the Catalonian people have the land where two of said factories are and won't let them send the cars to the US until they are recognized as their own nation." Russell snorted.
"So you want me to coax Spain to do something about the tensions?" Elizabeth asked.
"Yes. And soon. Otherwise half of America will be walking to work."
"You say that like it's a bad thing. It would solve our obesity issue and… Russell?" Elizabeth echoed as the Presidents Chief of Staff hung up on her as per usual.
Elizabeth frowned "He could've at least humored me. Well, alright I will alert the others that we have an early start. So much for sleeping". She quickly texted all of her staff members. The sound of cellphones pinging pierced through the hallway.
"Don't you guys ever put those things on silent?" She asked.
"No mam. Because we often have to be up to date with any and every change and putting it on vibrate would only make us ignore your uh late night reminders." Blake quipped.
"That somehow simultaneously insulted me but also made me happy." Elizabeth replied. She looked in frustration around her. She was still restless, still shaken by the loneliness that filled her system the second she stopped working. She glanced at Blake and shot him a smile.
"Well since neither of us plan on sleeping. Mind if I join you? Ali is always telling me I need to do something about my wrinkles." She asked, gesturing to the face mask.
Blake stood their in shock. He was aware the Secretary liked him but never believed it was enough for to want to spend time with him voluntarily. Slightly cautious and trying not to fanboy he chose to nod vigorously. She patted his shoulder and stepped into his room.
"Uh mam if you don't mind me asking... why did you think I wouldn't sleep? Not that I mind of course that you are here." Blake asked, closing the door behind them as she looked around his hotel room, analyzing the room in a very spy like manner (Bed remade, room sprayed with air freshener, clothes arranged neatly in an open suitcase, a bottle of wine he'd been gifted on the desk with a glass ready to poured).
"Blake you may be a private man but it's no secret that you do not sleep when there is a short time window. Heck I fall asleep hearing you type at your keyboard planning for the next day and listening to you pace around and humming songs to stay awake." She smiled, flopping onto the red armchair in the corner and crossing her legs.
"I didn't realize I was that loud" he replied sheepishly, walking into the bathroom to whip up a mask for Mrs. McCord.
"Oh you aren't. I just have very good hearing." She called to him as he took of her heels and folded her legs. She stared out the window, head resting on her knees as she looked out to the bustling city of Japan. How alive it seemed to be even in the dead of the night. How full of energy and joy, even if the streets below were corrupt. She'd always admired that about the world, how it was so toxic yet had spaces within it so beautiful and breathtaking that it made you forget all the evil it contained.
"Now. You are going to have to leave this on your face for 15 minutes before you peel it off okay?" Blake ordered, sitting on the edge of the bed so he could reach her face. She quickly placed her feet back on the floor and sighed.
"You enjoying telling your boss what to do?" she chuckled as he brushed the cool paste on her skin.
"It's what I usually do technically. Telling you where to go and what to do. Doesn't mean I feel superior to you of course, not at all. More like I'm…"
"Guiding a missile to her destination so it doesn't crash and burn and cry in a corner?" Elizabeth muttered as he now covered the corners of her mouth and upper lip.
"I was going to say steering the course of the forerunner for democracy and peace but sure that works as well".
The two friends looked at each other and chuckled.
"Oh God how do you wear this thing? I already feel like its sucking my soul out. Like those loan sharks didn't do enough of that with their smooth-talking money hungry mansplaining" she grumbled, gesturing to Blake to toss her a pillow.
"You never seem drained after those events." Blake replied, confusion evident in his eyes.
"Well hiding the feeling of sadness and remorse becomes far easier once you have had years of practice. "she said, grabbing the pillow as he tossed it and holding it close to her chest.
Blake didn't really know how to respond to that other than to look at her in awe. This woman whom he had idealized and aspired to be like for years now shedding her armor of pretense. Obviously, he'd known she was human, he knew she wasn't perfect. But when you see the magic she works behind the scenes and the tireless effort and optimism she held within herself, it was strange to see her be so vulnerable.
Elizabeth was staring out the window, aware that Blake was looking at her.
"Do you think it's good what we do? Keeping our truest selves under lock and key? Not that the person I am to the world is a charade but...the sadness and the loneliness. Do you think keeping our fears and weakness inside ourselves does us any good?" she asked, to herself or him he didn't really know.
Blake gulped, looking out to the world outside his window with her. It wasn't a secret that he kept his private life private for a reason, nor was the Secretary's tragic childhood. But to Blake those were two very different reasons to be so private. Blake hated questions. Especially questions that involved him. Because any time he answered one question another arose.
Do you like men? Do you like women? Are you bisexual? Are you sure you aren't gay?
Each question forced him to answer in a civil way and explain his existence to another random stranger or even newfound companion and it always sounded like they were questioning his being. Making sure he was real and valid when Blake himself already knows that he is.
But maybe he and the Secretary didn't truly have different reasons. Maybe she thought that feeling alone was unjustified because she had a loving family. Maybe she was afraid that her introversion would cost her job and so she tried to hide behind it. Maybe sho too was afraid of the questions the world would ask her if she ever showed every part of herself.
"I don't know mam" Blake finally responded. "But I do know this. It's the people that we eventually open up to and keep close to us that remain in our hearts forever, even if it does get a bit lonely from time to time as we wait for new ones to arrive."
Elizabeth turned to look at him and smiled and he returned the gesture.
"You know what Blake?" she said.
"What mam?"
"'I'm glad I opened up to you. Cause I want you to stick around."
Blake's heart warmed at her response "Good thing I like my job." He replied.
They laughed, sitting their enjoying their comfortable silence as the city around them continued to roar on with life.
"Glad we are in agreement. Now help me get this damn thing off of my face."