Honestly, Infinity War gave me so many feels. But Steve and Tony never once met face to face, so I needed to fix that.

Warnings: Tony doesn't actually say anything about killing himself, but he does say that he wishes he was dead, so if that's triggering to you, please tread carefully.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything!

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How Tony had known to go to Wakanda, Steve had no clue. In fact, he didn't know anything about Tony right now, because the genius was currently kneeling in front of him, eyes glazed and pale-faced. He had seen a spaceship crash land on the outer skirts of Wakanda and had gone to investigate, only to find Tony kneeling like he was now, and a blue alien that had introduced herself as Nebula.

Needless to say, this was not how he had imagined seeing Tony again.

Natasha had caught up with him and taken Nebula back to the palace in order to exchange information. But what he had gathered from a quick debrief was that she and Tony had just come from outer space, fought with Thanos, and failed to defeat him. And in the fallout, everyone but them had withered away to dust, just like Bucky had here.

God, his heart thudded painfully in his chest at the thought of Bucky. Fate was truly a cruel mistress to keep bringing them together and ripping them apart like this.

But he couldn't afford to dwell on that now.

"Tony? Are you alright?" Steve asked, as he approached him cautiously. The brunet was silent, obviously in shock, and staring into nothing. Steve squared his jaw before continuing forward, intent on snapping his best friend out of it. He gently cupped the genius' face in his palms, staring into cloudy brown eyes. "Tony, can you hear me?"

Tony jerked once before shakily grabbing onto Steve's wrists. "S-Steve?"

"Yeah, it's me, Tony. Can you stand?"

"W-Why are you here? How are you here? You're dead. All of you are dead."

Steve frowned as he knelt down to Tony's height. "Tony, we're both alive. We're both ok, I promise."

That got a scoff out of Tony, startling Steve. He pulled back to appraise Tony again, worried, and this time caught sight of a troubling looking wound in Tony's gut.

"Tony! Is that a stab wound?!" he cried, pulling away the tattered remains of Tony's sweater in order to get a better look at the wound. "I need a medevac here!" Steve shouted into his comm. The brunet merely smiled brokenly.

"What does it matter? Everyone is gone. It's just me and you here, Steve. Everything is gone. Ash."

"Tony, no, listen to me. Not everyone is gone. I need you to come back from wherever your head is. I promise you, everyone is ok. We'll get you fixed up and then we'll figure out what to do from there, but please come back," Steve pleaded, clasping both of Tony's hands in his.

A tear ran down Tony's face and Steve's calm façade broke for a moment as his expression crumpled at the sight of the brunet's pain. "But everyone isn't ok, Steve. Don't you see all the ashes around us? Strange, the kid, Quill, the two weird strip club aliens… everyone is gone." Then he began to laugh madly.

"God, isn't this just a riot," the brunet laughed, throwing his head back. "I stopped making weapons because I wanted to stop all the death on my hands. I created Ultron because I was scared of all of you dying. I was scared I couldn't protect you. And look what happened! Look what fucking happened, Steve! It doesn't matter what I do, does it? Everyone around me is just destined to die!" he cackled.

Steve shuddered. These were the words of a madman. Gulping, he swallowed his dread and collected himself. He refused to lose Tony to something like this. Especially not when he was right in front of him.

"Tony, you're not there. You're on Earth, in Wakanda, with me. I swear to you, there are no piles of ash anywhere near us. Please, Tony, I need you to come back to me."

"He said I was cursed with knowledge… if I had known… would things be different? If I had known that everyone would die… if I had known that you were part of the price, would I have done anything differently? Would half of the universe still be alive?" Tony murmured dazedly.

Steve sobbed and pulled Tony into a hug, not caring that it wasn't being reciprocated in the least, Tony's arms just hanging limply at his sides.

"God, Tony. It's not only on you. It's my fault too. I should have listened to you about a bigger threat. I can never take back not trusting you. I'll spend the rest of my life atoning for this. But I promise you, I swear on Bucky's grave that we are both alive and on Earth. I need you to come back to me so that we can figure out what to do next. Can you do this for me, Tony? Just one more time?"

The genius gave a shuddering sigh before his arms slowly came up to return the hug, his body shaking the entire time. He blinked a few times before his eyes cleared and Steve could have cried with relief. It seemed like Tony was slowly coming back from the horrors that he had been through.

But even though Tony seemed to be back with him, the brunet only tensed before burying himself deeper in Steve's embrace. The blond breathed out and decided to focus on the warmth of Tony's arms and the feel of his fingernails digging into his back like it was the only thing keeping Tony afloat in a sea of despair. The genius pressed his head into Steve's chest and wailed, screaming with loss, pain, and unimaginable agony, and all Steve could do was close his eyes in acceptance and understanding.

Survivor's guilt was something he knew both he and Tony were intimately familiar with.

When Tony looked up to meet his gaze, the fog in his eyes was gone, the brown orbs now glistening with tears. Steve felt his heart crack and pulled Tony into another hug. The brunet went willingly enough, and the two sat in the decimated field, each holding onto the other for support.

It seemed like ages until they broke apart, Steve helping Tony to his feet and throwing Tony's arm over his shoulders. The two started to head back to the palace in silence.

"Steve?" Tony asked, after the silence became too much to bear.

"Yeah?"

"I wish it was me instead," Tony whispered quietly.

Steve didn't dare answer and only tightened his grip on the genius.

He wasn't sure if there was a way back from this… he didn't know if he or Tony were irrevocably damaged… he didn't know if he could win… but he was going to damn well try.

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