This is my first story; I tried to do my best.
Thanks to my wonderful Beta, Stands With A Fic who helped and supported me. Thank you, hon. You're amazing!

Chapter 1

Sharon's house

There were things that could not be said. There were things that even Sharon Raydor didn't have the courage to say. On that Friday morning, she woke up with a headache; the alarm rang too loud and Sharon wasn't ready, she wasn't sure to be ready to face the day. Because, after that night, that day wouldn't be like any other day she had to face in the past.

She opened her eyes, slipped her right hand through her hair, and when they were totally open, her gaze fell on the other side of the bed, on the pillow which was next to hers. Sharon wasn't sure she had done the right thing or that she had taken the right decision. Actually, she wasn't sure she was able to think properly during those moments. She closed her eyes again, and leaning on her right side, she grabbed the other pillow and brought it to her. She embraced it like a baby hugs a teddy bear. She breathed deeply and then sank her nose in the pillow, in order to relax for a while. But something brought her back to reality...

"Sharon, are you awake?" Rusty's words were followed by a soft touch on the door. And Sharon was back to reality, too fast.

She didn't have the strength to answer, so she didn't and stayed like that, still for some second. Then, she let go of the pillow and when she was really ready, she got up from bed. She couldn't remember where her things were, or what things she was looking for. Her brain was like after a hangover. She remembered nothing. She was confused.

"Yes, I'm awake. Give me some minutes." Those were the only words she was able to say. She couldn't say more. She didn't want to.

About 15 minutes later, the sound of her heels revealed her presence to Rusty. The kid was sitting at the table, with his backpack on the chair next to his and mug of coffee in his hands. Sharon came into the kitchen without saying any words. Rusty followed her with his eyes as she approached the coffee pot and gently poured coffee in her mug. She had never been so quiet. Or at least, not with him.

"Anything wrong?" She didn't answer. She just smiled, approached the table and stroked Rusty on his right shoulder. The kid kept looking at her, surprised.

"So?"

"So what?" she asked, placing her mug, now half-empty, on the table.

Rusty did the same. "I asked you if there is anything wrong?"

Sharon shrugged, smiling feebly: "It's ok. Everything's ok."

Rusty nodded, even though he was not sure of her words. "Last night you came back late..."

Sharon smiled again, but Rusty continued, almost teasing: "Very late."

She smiled more and more, trying to make Rusty feel comfortable. Or maybe, trying to make herself feel comfortable; she grabbed both the mugs that were on the table and brought them to the sink. She could have said so many things to explain that "very late", but she didn't. Of course she didn't, she couldn't, not with Rusty.

Once again she didn't comment what her youngest son said. She ran her right hand through her hair, gently, and closed her eyes for a few seconds as if she could feel the hand of someone else slip through her hair. Literally.
She didn't like lying to her children, in general she didn't like lying, but basically omitting the truth didn't mean lying. Or, at least, not completely.

She lost herself in memories. She had spent most of her life thinking about how to make the others happy; she had begun to do that when she was still a child. But, what about her? When it was her turn? How long did she have to wait to be truly happy without risking destroying everything around her? No, she could not tell the truth to Rusty. She could not talk about something that neither she knew exactly what it was. She could not. Not yet.

So she breathed deeply, inhaling every particle of oxygen in the air and then released the slightest trace of impure substance that could spoil her mood. She looked at the mugs in the sink for some seconds, then turned around, sketching the most successful smile of the morning. Rusty looked confused by her behavior.

"I'm fine, really. I guess I'm just tired…" She began to walk toward the kid, still smiling, more and more. "And yes, last night I came back home very late. Maybe I should've slept more. Now I feel like a walking dead!"

Rusty let out a slight "uhm."

She smiled at her son, again: "Rusty, trust me. It's nothing you need to know. Nothing worthy to be said."

Of course, he couldn't pressure her, not if she didn't want to talk. And it was clear she didn't.

"Well, next time you need to come back earlier then. You know, you're not that young." He uttered those words and grabbed his backpack, that still was on the chair in kitchen.

"HEY!" Sharon followed him with her gaze, resting her hands on her hips in her most menacing Darth Raydor pose.

Rusty laughed, never looking at her, slid the backpack over his left shoulder and when he found his car keys, finally turned to look at Sharon.

"Come on, don't look at me like that. I did not say that you're old, I just said that you're not as young as you think. You can't do those things anymore." The kid frowned, perhaps reflecting on the last sentence… "At least I think you can't…" then he turned and left.

Sharon relaxed her shoulders and breathed again as if it was the most important and most necessary thing for survival.

"So do I..." she muttered to herself.

Los Angeles Police Department Office

It had been four years since she replaced Brenda as commanding officer of Major Crimes; four tiring years, but also four years that gave her the privilege to know wonderful people, her people. Her team. Because, after such a long time, Sharon could think to live in a world without Major Crimes, but not in a world without the people of Major Crimes. Those wonderful people who somehow became part of her life and an important little piece of her heart. They were part of her, part of her family.

And just like every morning, in the last four years, Sharon parked her car in her usual place, she grabbed her bag, resting on the passenger seat and got out, closed the car with a click. She put the car keys in the bag and walked toward the elevator. When she was there she began to rummage in search of her phone.

She wasn't even sure it was in her bag; that morning she was not sure of anything. When she was at the elevator, still struggling with the bag and its contents, she barely pushed the button, so that the light turned on. She snorted nervously, after so many years she couldn't understand why in her bags there always seemed to be (the world) a paralel universe where things got lost. When the sliding doors opened, Sharon went in and leaned her back against the wall, throughout the ride. When the doors opened again, Sharon finally managed to grab her phone and stepped out, victorious, but when she tried to use it, she noticed it was dead.

"Damn!" she murmured, by raising the tone of her voice. Her phone had abandoned her. Seconds later, with the mood already folded, Sharon made her entrance among the members of her team. Just before being seen, she realized that something was different. A louder murmur rose up among the walls of Major Crimes division.

"Captain..." Amy Sykes announced, whose eyes betrayed a mix of apprehension, lifting and even concern.

Sharon watched one by one the people there, noting some faces that were not used to spend over there and her eyes suddenly became clear. A smile furrowed her face.

"Captain Cole!" The man turned, finally noticing the presence of Sharon, already announced by Amy. Adam Cole became a captain very soon, he was the youngest among the people who started with him that career, Sharon included; she had known him since Homicide division, when they had been partners for a while, before he moved to New York City.

"Captain Raydor." Cole replied, maintaining a degree of seriousness that worried Sharon, who instantly moved her gaze to Provenza and Taylor. The oldest man approached his Captain as Cole started: "I'm very sorry... I came back here one month ago, I really wanted to call you but you know… so much stuff to do and fix and… then this one."

Sharon looked back at him and surprised, replied: "I'm so glad to see you again here, but… I can't understand…"

Provenza urged: "We tried to call you like 100 times, Captain." Sharon waved her right hand that still held her dead phone: "My phone is dead, sorry. But... what's going on?"

It was clear that something was going on, but people were so serious and silent there. No one looked at her in the eyes, as if they were afraid of something. But about what? She looked around and then at Provenza again: "Where's lieutenant Flynn?"

"Ya, that…" the man tried to answer but then stopped, waiting for Taylor or Cole to answer first. "Is it about him?" Sharon asked again. "Can anyone tell me what the hell is going on?" Taylor nodded and approached her: "Captain, this morning we got a call. We found a dead body in a parking, nearby your neighborhood."

Sharon was feeling always more confused: "Ok, then what?" "The dead body belonged to David Fisher." Sanchez stood up from his chair and murmured softly.

Sharon looked at his detective and then at Provenza: "That David Fisher?" He nodded and Sharon put her hand on her mouth, whispering: "Oh God!"

"And Andy is with his family now?" "No, Captain, he's here, we're interviewing him."

Sharon remained silent.

"His gun's been found next to Fisher's body." Provenza answered.
That was the moment when Sharon understood what was going on there. "Are you kidding me? Andy's gun there?" She laughed. Almost. "It's impossible!"

Taylor looked at Cole: "Captain Cole is here to do his work. I hope you two can cooperate."

"I don't need to cooperate with FID. Andy did nothing, and we all know it!" Sharon replied, as if Taylor were saying bullshits.

The man got nervous and looked at Sharon strictly: "We don't know what he did; for this reason, I expect you to be very professional. As usually."

Sharon nodded and when he left, Cole smiled at her: "I really need you to cooperate."

"Adam, he did nothing. I am sure."

"So do I." Provenza added: "He's stupid, not a murderer."

"I don't care what you say, lieutenant. I care what the proofs say. And his gun's been found next to a dead body. A dead body, which was his ex wife's husband. And now I need to know everything about this Andy Flynn. And above all I need to know what he did last night and this morning." He breathed deeply and turned toward Sharon: "Then I can say, as you do, that he's stupid but not a murderer."

Adam was always resolute.

Sharon loved his passion and his faith in justice. But now she was totally confused. She knew he was innocent, she trusted him and knew where he was last night. But she couldn't understand why his gun was there. She touched her hair and nervously said: "Adam, he's innocent."

Her friend and colleague replied: "You can't say it for sure."

"I CAN!" She said loudly.

"How?"

Sharon looked around, smiling at her team. They didn't need to know. So she breathed deeply, again: "Not here, can you join me in my office please?"

He nodded and followed her.

"You too, lieutenant." Provenza nodded and joined them.

The oldest man closed the door behind him and stayed there in silent. Like people outside. They remained silent: they couldn't believe Flynn had killed someone. They remained silent, waiting for Captain Raydor to decide the next move. They were hurt and confused, but they needed to do something to fix that.

Meanwhile, Sharon was still nervous, she didn't know how to start that topic. She'd prefer saying nothing about that. And for "that" it means something she couldn't explain at all. But Andy needed an alibi and she knew his alibi.

"I'm sure. He wasn't there."

"Sharon, I know you trust your team, I know you very well." He explained.

She smiled and nodded, still caressing her hair.

"You were amazing when you worked for Homicide division. A true leader. And I'm sure you're now."

Sharon looked into his eyes and felt embarrassed. She didn't remember how charming he could be.

"I'm here to help you, Shar." He approached her and put his left hand on her shoulder, caressing it.

Provenza looked at them and was surprised about how close those two were.

"I really wanna help you, but you can't say it that lieutenant is innocent. Let me work. Let's work together." Adam said softly.

She looked down: "I am sure he wasn't there last night."

"Oh God…" Provenza murmured. "I don't wanna listen."

Sharon raised her head and tilted it to look at Provenza: "I…" But those words were too hard to be said.

Captain Cole raised his hands and waved them: "Maybe I need a little clarification. Can you explain to me as well? Why are you so sure that he wasn't there?"

Sharon turned toward Cole and smiled a while, just to drive away embarrassment.
"Because he was with me."