Hello Ladies and Gentlemen, this is a story idea I've had in my head for a little bit but I haven't had the motivation or creative spark to continue it. If anyone wants to pick it up, using my intro as a kind of starter or just my prompt, go ahead! If anyone is interested in doing a round robin with me, I would love to collaborate so shoot me a PM!

Prompt:

Roy was drenched, missing a left shoe, his trusted right hand had been benched by antiquated gender laws, his only weapons of choice were baby pictures skillfully planted in his pocket by a psychopath, and his next highest ranking subordinate was a golden haired menace who still had some of his baby teeth.

Possible Intro:

Drachman Peace Exchange, that was what this horror was. Roy managed a civil smile as a Drachman officer of his rank greeted him with a stiff, unnecessarily firm handshake. That sickly sweet smile that someone gave which indicated they hated you for every centimeter they could widen their smile was pasted on both their faces.

"A pleasure to meet you, Colonel Mustang."

The officer's accent was thick, the faux civility making it even harsher upon Roy's ears.

"The pleasure is all mine, Colonel Ivolgin," Roy returned, ice cold despite his reputation as the Flame Alchemist.

"And who is this?" Colonel Ivolgin said, pearl white teeth flashing as he turned them toward Riza.

"I did not know the Amestrian military allowed their personnel to bring around their secretaries."

Hawkeye's finger twitched from where it was hanging at her side. Roy ground his teeth for a moment before he was able to respond.

"This is First Lieutenant Hawkeye, an invaluable personnel of the military with an uncanny ability for marksmanship."

Colonel Ivolgin stifled a disbelieving chuckle and Roy watched as Riza's hand once again twitched toward her gun. The situation was horrible at the moment. A month prior Fuhrer Bradley had announced an amicable meeting between them and the Drachmans. Somehow that lead to the planning of the Drachman-Amestrian Peace Exchange, a week long event that got together certain personnel of both the Drachman and Amestrian military in order to promote fraternity and camaraderie between the usually opposing groups. Not everyone got picked to go, oh no, only those special few were elected to this important job of kissing ass and pretending you didn't want to shoot the other guy's prick off. Kissing ass though was Roy's speciality, you didn't make plans to become future Fuhrer without that particular skill.

However, these Drachmans were pushing the boundaries of his ability to grovel, he could lick boots but he struggled doing so for ignorant, chauvinistic officers like this one Ivolgin. Still, even then, he could manage, his real problem was something far worse.

"And they allow you to bring your bastard children with you?" Colonel Ivolgin said, waving in a certain Major Elric's general direction, "How quaint!" He exclaimed.

Roy physically restrained himself from both shooting himself in the head and strangling a minor.

"It's Major Elric, Colonel," Ed bit out, having stormed forward to scream insults but having been stopped so well by the giant metal gauntlet of Alphonse Elric.

The Drachman Colonel raised a brow at the sight of Al's body.

"Children, females, and giant armored freaks," the man chuckled, "you Amestrians are so interesting."