Chapter 1 - You Are A Memory
"Nate. Allie. X6. Are you ready?" Nora asked.
"Yes, everything is ready on our end." Allie replied.
"Affirmative." X6 drawled, sounding almost bored.
"I'm ready when you are Nora." Nate replied.
Nora's heart pounded in her chest as she fiddled with her PipBoy that was plugged into the Institute's mainframe. They set up their base of operations Dr. Secord's SRB laboratory, and as much as she wanted to deny it, Nora couldn't help but feel the tendrils of anxiety creep over her skin as she remembered her past experience here. Here Ayo was king. Here Ayo could do almost anything he wanted. But this time, Nora would be the one in charge.
She stood at the center console and flipped through her PipBoy functions and then stopped on the screen that showed a map of the greater Boston area. The Mass Fusion building was their intended destination.
Dr. Secord was to her right at a large control panel. Although the woman hadn't changed her cool attitude towards Nora, she at least agreed to keep a set of Gen-1 and Gen-2 synths on standby in case they needed additional backup. Meanwhile, Dr. Li was in charge of monitoring directing the trio through the Mass Fusion building while Dr. Binet was in charge of monitoring X6's and Nate's vitals in the field.
Nora wasn't sure what her roll was here aside for being the Institute's figurehead. She felt more like a spectator who was watching the event unfold than an actual participant. Still, although it had only been a week since Nora had been voted in as the new Director of the Institute, it felt like those seven days had lasted a lifetime. This would be her first major mission where she would be seen as the leader. The pressure to perform was immense. She knew that there would be no recovery if the mission were to fail.
Nora spoke into a desk microphone, "We're going to relay you onto the Mass Fusion roof. You'll be vulnerable as soon as you arrive, so be on your guard from the start."
She could see a grainy black and white video feed of the trio as they stood on the platform in the relay room. While teleporting out of the Institute was possible from anywhere in the compound, the amount of precision and power it took to teleport them to the top of one of Boston's largest buildings required them to use the physical relay for better accuracy. If everything went to plan, they'd be back with the beryllium agitator within a couple of hours.
Nora crossed her fingers and spoke into the microphone. "We are relaying you in 3 ... 2 ... 1 ..." A bright light flashed across the screen and the trio was gone.
There was no way she'd be able to get a visual on them while they were topside, at least not since Ayo's Watchers had been systematically killed once Hancock realized they were synth spies. All Nora had in way of communication was an audio feed courtesy of a two-way radio that Nate had clipped on to his jacket.
Nora knew they had arrived before she heard Allie speak. The ambient sounds of gunfire and the raucous music drifting up from The Third Rail told her everything she needed to know. She felt a painful sense of nostalgia, homesickness, and fear.
"It looks like the Brotherhood made it here before us." Allie voice said over the radio. "I guess we'll just have to go through them."
Although her words sounded blasé and cavalier, Nora knew that Allie was just as nervous as she was. Three people fighting against an entire squadron of Brotherhood soldiers were not good odds, so Nora told them to avoid fighting whenever possible, but she was quickly realizing the futility of that statement.
The trio began their mission without fanfare. This wasn't a war, she reminded herself, this was a covert operation. The goal was to attract the least amount of attention as possible.
The crackling and electronic sounds of laser rifles volleyed back and forth. Nora could hear the screams and groans of people as they died and occasionally she'd hear Nate's curt order to "get down" or "move out" and his labored, panting breathing as he ran into the fray.
Dr. Li barked instructions at them. "You will need to find an office key card to descend to the lower floors. There's an office to your left as you go down the hallway. Check any desk drawers, file cabinets, and even dead bodies."
She glanced sideways at Nora. Her stern look softened when she saw how pale Nora was and that she was losing weight again. The stress was getting to her.
"This will work." Dr. Li said aloud, but Nora knew the comment was directed at her.
Nora nodded and followed their movements on her PipBoy. The square blip that marked Allie's location moved from room to room efficiently and quickly. Although not completely defenseless, Allie was the least combat ready of the group, so their plan was for her to hang back behind the two synths and pick her fights wisely and assist with when necessary.
"I have the elevator key card. We're going down to Floor 14."
"How are you guys doing?" Nora asked.
"We're fine, Nora." Nate replied.
"Yes." X6 agreed with a sneer. "This Brotherhood is hardly a challenge. Their soldiers are stupid and rash. They think charging head on into battle will ensure certain victory. It's pathetic."
Dr. Li tilted the microphone towards her, "Don't underestimate them. They can be a formidable enemy. Stay focused and be ready for anything."
Dr. Li's warning was apt for when the elevator doors opened, an onslaught of bullets and lasers crackled over Nate's radio; the sound was deafening.
"Shit!" Nate snarled and Nora heard his laser rifle rapidly firing back.
Explosions and missile artillery whistled over the radio and Nora ground her teeth together until they ached. Nate's been through this before. He is a solider. He's fine. He's been through this before. She repeated this mantra over and over.
After five agonizing minutes, the sounds finally died and Nora yelled into the microphone. "Status check. Is everyone okay?"
"Mother, don't yell in my ear." X6 growled. "We are fine."
"Yes, all of us are still alive." Allie confirmed. "It's - well - it's a miracle actually. The Brotherhood was waiting for us. Thankfully we closed the elevator doors as soon as we got to the floor. They had two missile launchers that would've made short work of us otherwise.
"What about Nate?" Nora asked.
"I'm ... fine." He groaned. His voice sounded strong but Nora suspected that he was putting on a brave face. "I took some shrapnel to the arm, but I'll live once I can get a chance to get a stimpack into me."
Nora exhaled in relief. "Just be careful, okay?"
The trio ran through the tight hallways and corridors. To make their route unpredictable, they took the stairs as many stairwells as they could. If the stairwell was collapsed or impassable, then they'd carefully clamber through one of the many holes in the floor and descend through the building like gophers. Although it was slow-going, they began to see less and less Brotherhood soldiers in the second leg of their journey. But, after another hair-raising firefight in the Mass Fusion first floor atrium, Nora was back to worrying and grinding her teeth.
"For Elder Maxon!" A voice cried but then gurgled as they collapsed from a bullet wound.
"Ad Victor-" A rough male voice cried as an explosion cut him short.
"Allie, we need to make it to the next elevator!" Nate cried. "X6 has the key card."
The thunder of heavy boots and the whooshing hydraulic of Power Armor sounded much too close for comfort. Nora watched the blip on her PipBoy travel through the secretary's office and into a side service elevator.
"Close the doors!" Allie yelled as gunfire and more missiles and artillery rained down from above.
Nora heard Nate yell something but it was unintelligible amid the cacophony of the battle. It wasn't until she heard the ding of the elevator again that she realized the trio had made it down to the Reactor level.
"X6, scan the area for any signs of hostile life." Allie ordered.
"Yes ma'am." He replied and Nora heard nothing but silence for a good ten minutes. "Everything is clear. There's two deactivated laser turrets and two Protectrons but we should make short work of them if they were to activate."
"We have to be ready for an ambush." Nate replied, sounding exhausted. His voice sounded hoarse from overuse. "This company wouldn't leave their main source of power guarded with only Protectrons and turrets."
"Well that's all I see." X6 replied flippantly. "But if you want to conduct your own, more superior search, go ahead."
"Knock it off. Both of you." Allie snapped. "Nate's right. We have to be ready for anything when I enter the reactor room. Nate, I need the radio feed for this next bit."
Nora heard the rustling of fabric and then the gentle thudding of the radio being passed over to Allie who then strapped it to her radiation suit. "Can you hear me?"
"Yes, we can hear you just fine." Dr. Li replied. "Once you crack the terminal, the beryllium agitator should be beyond those doors. We're almost done, Allie."
Nora heard the tapping of fingers hitting a keypad and then the whooshing of hydraulic doors opening.
"There's the reactor. Not a bad piece of work for its time." Allie complimented.
Allie's geiger counter began ticking sluggishly as she entered the decontamination chamber, but the radiation suit she wore mitigated most of the danger.
Nora held her breath as she heard more clicking, another door open, and the heavy metallic thud of feet crossing a metal-grated walkway.
"I'm in the reactor room and I'm removing the beryllium agitator from it's core. There will be a moment where the reaction will be unstable, but if I can get it into the canister before it has a reaction, then we all wont die in a nuclear explosion...so there's that."
The woman's voice was breathy and lacked its normal substance. She was just as afraid as Nora was.
"Whenever you're ready Allie." Dr. Li replied. "We only have one chance to get this right."
When Allie removed the core from the nuclear reactor, her geiger counter began ticking so fast that it sounded like it was chattering.
"...And now it's going in to the canister." Allie's voice said with palatable tension.
Nora bit her lip. Please let this work. Please let this work. She begged
"...And it's in."
"INTRUDER ALERT IN REACTOR MAINFRAME"
"Dammit!" Allie cried.
There was too much noise to decipher what was actually happening. As the alarms rang out, Nora heard a lot of commotion.
"UNAUTHORIZED ACQUISITION. ASSESSMENT - IMMEDIATE TERMINATION." A cool, feminine voice said.
It was an Assaultron, Nora realized. But then she heard another voice boom out.
"ALERT: HOSTILE DETECTED. LETHAL FORCE AUTHORIZED FOR ALL UNITS."
Nora didn't recognize the programmed voice. It sounded too deep to be an Assaultron and too threatening to be a run-of-the-mill Protectron.
"They have a Sentry Bot!" Dr. Li gasped.
"Shit!" Allie cursed. Then she screamed.
"Allie, what's going on!" Dr. Li yelled over the radio.
"We have to retreat back to the elevator." They heard Nate yell. His voice was far away.
"Dr. Secord, send in the Gen 1s to help provide a distraction so they can escape." Nora ordered.
"Yes, Mother." Dr. Secord responded and began pushing a series of buttons on the console.
Within seconds, Nora heard the programmed synth voices over the gunfire and threatening warnings.
Nora could only hear fragments of sound as the PA system overhead began to cut out.
"... Too many of ..."
" ... Argh ... Die you sonofa..."
" ... Head's up!"
"Shoot him now while it's overheated!" Nora heard Nate order.
The electrical blasts from the Assaultron's face laser and the tit-tit-tit-tit-tit of the laser turrets were drowned out when the sentry bot droned: POWER INTAKE AT MAXIMUM LEVELS. INITIATING SELF DESTRUCTION SEQUENCE.
"Take cover, it's gonna blow!" Allie yelled.
The violent explosion was so loud that it busted one of the PA speakers in the Institute. Seconds ticked by like hours and Nora's fingers were beginning to ache from being balled up in her fist for so long.
Were they dead? Were there more robots lying in wait to finish them off? Where was the Brotherhood and would they come investigating the unmistakeable war zone looking to pick off the survivors?
"Allie, can you hear me?" Nora's voice shook as she spoke into the microphone.
"Dr. Filmore is unconscious." X6's voice came over the radio.
"I'm readying the relay to teleport you back to the Institute. Is everyone there?"
"We're all here. Just pretty banged up." Nate groaned. Simply hearing his voice again lifted Nora's heart into her throat.
"Is the agitator still intact?" Dr. Li asked.
"Affirmative." X6 replied.
"Dr. Secord, relay them all back." Nora ordered.
"Be ready for the relay." Dr. Secord replied. "Ready in 3 ... 2 ... -"
Nora saw the flashing blue light appear in the laboratory and X6 was carrying Dr. Filmore's unconscious body in his arms.
Nora beamed at Nate who was holding the large metal canister that held the beryllium agitator, but when he took a step forward, he staggered. He was holding his side with his other hand and Nora could see the blood seeping through his hands like red paint.
"Nate!" Nora rushed to him but he collapsed to his knees with a pained groan.
"Jesus! Someone get him a stretcher." Nora ordered.
Nora took stock of his other injuries. His skin was blistered and peeling at his neck from an explosion and most of his face was covered in dirt, grime, and robot coolant.
"Excuse me, mother." A synth worker said as they pushed a stretcher up to Nate's body.
She gave them some space and watched as they lifted Nate onto the stretcher. The scream he let out was tempered from the pain, but his entire left arm was trembling as he clutched onto the wound in his side.
"What happened?" Nora turned to X6 who looked remarkably unscathed.
He shrugged, his nonplused expression was haughty and detached, "He was in the way when the Sentry Bot self-destructed."
"And you were the one who didn't want to do a further security sweep." Nora pointed out. "If Nate would've died -"
"N1 is capable of taking care of himself." X6 replied. "That's what happens in war. Sometimes people die."
Nora's hand clenched into a fist and she wanted to punch the emotionless and glib bastard in the nose. Maybe she'd punch him hard enough to break is stupid sunglasses, she considered. But she gritted her teeth and stood up straight.
"You are dismissed X6-88." Nora said through clenched teeth. "Thank you for your assistance."
She turned from him before she did something that she'd regret and stalked off towards the door. Allie was being loaded onto her own stretcher by other synth workers. Dr. Li was at Allie's side and was shining a small penlight into her eyes.
"She's got a mild concussion. She'll be okay once she wakes up." Dr. Li commented and then turned to her. "Congratulations on a successful mission. As soon as Dr. Filmore is awake and feeling better, she'll install the agitator into the Institue's mainframe. Finally we will have more than enough power to satisfy our needs for generations. You've done a great thing for us Nora."
Nora nodded mutely. She didn't feel proud, in fact she felt like shit. Two out of three of her "soldiers" were wounded. Those results - and the fact that Nate or Allie could've died under her command - jumped to the forefront of her mind.
"Nora?" Dr. Li asked. "Are you okay?"
Nora didn't answer, not right away at least. "I'm going to go lay down for a moment. I'm not feeling well at the moment."
"Should I have someone send some food up?"
Nora shook her head. "I wont be gone for long. I just need an hour or so for myself."
She had made it more of a habit to eat her meals with the other scientists if only to break down the thick walls that were erected between her and them. The only two who really took notice that Nora did more talking than eating were Dr. Li and Nate.
"Alright. I'll come to collect you in an hour or so. We still have a lot of data from the mission to go over." Dr. Li replied.
Nora nodded again and walked mindlessly out to the atrium. Desdemona's words about making tough decisions rang in her mind. Objectively, the mission was a resounding success, but Nate's injuries reminded her of the costs at stake.
She didn't think she was ready to have other people's blood on her hands - especially not Nate's.
"This is unacceptable!" Elder Maxson snarled.
The men and women, Paladins and Scribes, were all standing at attention as their commander patrolled between their lines like a caged lion.
"This was an assured victory." He continued. His dark eyes fixated on the crew.
"The Institute sent only three people to recover the beryllium agitator and an entire Paladin force couldn't stop them!"
One Paladin stepped forward from the line. His eyes remained locked on an imaginary object in front of this nose as his voice wavered. "Sir, two of them are Coursers who have been trained extensively in combat and reconnaissance. These were not civilians."
Elder Maxson, although a full head shorter than the Paladin, squared himself up like he was about to go toe-to-toe with a Deathclaw.
"Since when did three of anything defeat you? You all fought against dangers far worse than this. This outcome was unacceptable and it will not happen again." Elder Maxson said with finality.
"Sir, please." A scribe stepped forward. Her sandy brown hair was pinned back into a bun which was tucked beneath a hat. "We've been fighting for the past ten years. If it wasn't in the Capital Wasteland, then it was getting here and setting up a base of operation in the Commonwealth. We're tired and we are low on amunition and morale. Please -"
Elder Maxon's shear presence cut off the rest of her sentence. His cold brown eyes looked into hers as he addressed someone else in the room.
"Paladin Danse." He commanded.
"Yes, sir."
"Is this how you let your scribes behave?"
"No sir." Danse replied. "I don't know what has ... I apologize for Scribe Haylen's insubordination. There was no excuse for our performance today."
Elder Maxson looked up at Danse who kept a neutral, stony expression despite his racing heart and sheer embarrassment of being called out in front of his squad mates.
"I expect you discipline her appropriately." Maxson said.
"Yes sir." Paladin Danse replied a little hollowly.
"It seems you have all forgotten our place in this world - our history. The axioms that our friends, our brothers, and our ancestors have lived by as they bring righteous rule to this forsaken land."
Elder Maxson stood in front of the assembled Paladins and Scribes. "Repeat the axioms."
The group resounded out with one voice: Shield yourself from those not bound to you by steel, for they are the blind. Aid them when you can, but lose not sight of yourself.
"Good, next." Elder Maxson commanded.
Give way your suspicions to the wisdom of thine Elder. Where he shows trust, so shall you.
"Next!" Maxson growled.
Fear those who do not pledge to the Brotherhood for though their eyes may be opened through service, they are now blind.
"Next!"
We do not help them, or let them in. We keep knowledge they must never have.
"Ad Victoriam." Elder Maxson concluded.
"Ad Victoriam!" The group rang out in one unified voice.
Scribe Haylen glanced sideways at Paladin Danse who looked troubled. His face still held its stony countenance, but his eyes were wide and uncertain.
Nora sat at his bedside. Nate's face had been cleaned up so his burn could be bandaged, but is normally sun-tanned skin looked wan.
"Nora?" He murmured.
"Hi. I came to check on you. You've been out for almost a week."
Nate blinked dumbly at that news. "How's Dr. Filmore?"
"She regained consciousness soon after coming back with you. She's already installed the beryllium agitator into the Institute's reactor. Thanks to you three, the Institute will have power for generations to come."
"Well then I guess the mission was successful." Nate grinned and rested his head back on the hospital pillow.
However Nora didn't share his elation. "Nate, I'm sorry that I put you in this position. You could've died."
"Don't be sorry. We should've done a more thorough inspection of the area before we sent Allie through to retrieve the agitator."
"But still..." Nora trailed off and swallowed the lump in her throat. This was much too close to home. Much too close to Shaun's death for it to be anything but unsettling. "You could've died Nathan."
"But I didn't." He replied with a stubborn grin.
Nora sighed, "You don't understand. I watched you die once before. I watched you get your brains blown out by a hired thug. I buried you, and now that you're back, I could've gotten you killed again."
"Killed again?" Nate sat up with a wince. "Nora, you didn't get me killed the first time."
"Didn't I?" Nora asked. "I was the one who told you to sign us up for that stupid vault. Do you remember? That salesman had been hounding our house for nearly a month and you turned him away every time until I begged you to sign up for a spot just in case."
"And you were right." Nate replied. "We both would be dead otherwise...or worse."
"Nora, put it out of your mind." He replied.
"I can't."
"Nora, I'm fine. Even Dr. Volkert said that I'll be able to resume my security detail in a week. Don't worry about me."
"I worry about you all the time." Nora confessed. "Ever since you came back into my life, I wonder when I have to watch you die all over again."
"When? You sound so certain that I'm going to die." Nate sounded offended but he grinned.
Nora frowned. She couldn't tell him of Mama Murphy's prophecy - he'd laugh in her face - but that didn't take away the anxiety and the guilt that constantly haunted her thoughts.
"I can't do this Nate. I can't put you in danger. Once you are healed, I'll ask Dr. Binet to recruit another synth from the leftover courser division to take over surface-related missions." Nora replied.
"What? Are you kidding me?" Nate's voice was hard and Nora could hear the edge of betrayal that was there. She had the exact same tone when Father told her that he was deactivating the courser program and subsequently removing any and all chances she had at going topside. The cruel irony of these turn of events wasn't lost on her.
"I can't watch you die, Nathan." Nora replied with more finality.
Nate's jaw clenched into stubborn defiance. "Well maybe I can't do this either."
"Excuse me?"
He sighed and stumbled over his words as he tried to spit them out through his anger. "Dammit, I can't ... I can't compete with your memories of me Nora. The first thing I remember when I was created was you giving birth to Shaun. The memory was so vivid in my mind that it took me days to come to terms that they were memories that belonged to some other man. Look, if you wont treat me as your husband then don't. I can't make you love me like I love you. But don't protect me either."
"Nate..." Nora began but he interrupted.
"No! You've built me up in your head as this paragon of virtue; a hero fighting for the American way, but you forget that first and foremost I'm your husband. I was your husband. I want to be your husband. But you wont let me be any of those things unless it's convenient for you."
"What are you talking about!" Nora's voice rose.
"You forgot me Nora. And dammit, the most painful part of this is that you don't even know that you did."
"That's crazy. I never forgot about you Nate. I fucking pulled your body from the vault. I buried you. I had nightmares for months about you and about that damn vault."
"And how long did it take before you began throwing yourself at guys?"
"That's not fair!"
"Is it not?" He wanted to yell but he was too weak to muster the effort, so his response was tepid and indignant. "You're with two different men ... If you can call them that."
Nora reeled back like he had slapped her.
"I never forgot you Nate." Nora seethed. She reached down her shirt collar, grabbed the long chain that hung around her neck, and pulled out the rings for him to see.
The golden metal glinted beneath the artificial light and Nate's expression changed from indignant anger into guilt.
"What I do with my life and with my relationships are none of your business, but I have never forgotten about you Nathan. And if you can't accept me as I am now, then maybe I can't accept you either."
Nora pulled the chain with a hard yank and broke it from her neck. She put the rings on the nightstand and dropped the chain on top of them.
She rose abruptly from her seat and walked towards the door.
She heard Nate cry out, "Shit! Nora, wait!" but she ignored him and walked out of the infirmary.