Mistakes always come back to haunt us.
Sam woke up in a panic, his face dripping with sweat and his brain pounding against his skull. He was scared, he knew he neededit. He wanted it. He turns his head and looks over at Dean sleeping peacefully in the bed next to him. He needs some fresh air. He gets out of bed and stumbles to his feet, trying not to wake Dean. He slips into his shoes and rushes out the motel door. He leans against the cold wall and he puts his head in his hands. His head is still causing him pain. He can't take it anymore and starts running, he doesn't know where he's going but he just keeps running, and running, and running. He feels the cool wind hit his face as he's running. It's relieving; he's not so hot anymore. Suddenly, he stops in the middle of the road and falls to his knees. He looks around as he tries to catch his breath, he doesn't know where he is. He slowly rises to his feet, confused at his whereabouts, he starts to walk forward. He comes to a clearing and notices a couple of broken down warehouses. He realises it's raining as he wipes the drips from his forehead. He heads towards the first warehouse and manages to break in. He could tell no one has been here in a long time, he looks around. The old wooden floors are dusty and there are old, broken cables lying around. He walks through a door and comes into a huge, dirty room. His head still hurts. He walks over to a solid box which lies in the corner of the room and sits down. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out his cell phone, its 3:18am. He stares at Ruby's name on his contact list. Every bone in his body is telling him not to call her but he doesn't listen. He presses the call button and listens to the ringing, she answers almost immediately.
"Sam?"
"Ruby, I can't do this. I… I need it"
"What do you need, Sam?"
"Don't do this, Ruby. You know what I need. It's you're fault I'm like this. This is all because of you."
"Sam, all you have to do is ask for it, and then it's all yours."
"Please, Ruby?"
"Ask properly, Sam. Tell me what you want." Sam pauses. He knows he needs it, he's getting withdrawal symptoms. This can make the pain go away. He doesn't want to ask because he knows it's so wrong. He shouldn't have agreed to let Ruby help him, knowing what she is. A Demon.
"Please, Ruby. I need you're… You're blood."
"Okay, Sam. Remember I told you, you can have it whenever you want it. All you have to do is ask."
"Thank you."
"I know where you are. Stay there, I'm coming." She hangs up.
Sam sits there for a while thinking about what he's just done. Demon blood is the only thing what can keep him going. He needs it. It makes him stronger, a better hunter. It's the only thing which enables him to exercise Demons so fast. He Thinks about Dean. What his big brother would think if he knew what he was about to do and that it wasn't the first time. He shakes his head to get that horrible though out of his mind. Sam's sitting there waiting, holding the only thing which is able to properly kill a demon. The Demon killing knife. He knows that dean is going to be pissed at him when he realises it's gone. Hopefully he can put it back before he wakes up. He hears footsteps. He looks up and see's Ruby standing in the open doorway. She's wearing black leather, high healed boots, tight jeans, and a black leather jacket which is opened down the middle to reveal a tight, brown low-cut top. She looks good.
"Hello, Sam… I haven't seen you in a while. I know you've been avoiding me."
"Ruby, you were… Um, quick getting here."
"How's you're head, Sam? I know it's been hurting you. You haven't had any Demon blood in over a week. I can make the pain go away. You know I can. I can make you stronger."
"I'm not to sure about this anymore… It's so wrong. What would Dean think?"
"Forget him, Sam. He only thinks of himself. He doesn't understand what this is. He doesn't care that you can send Demons back to hell, he just hates me. He will never accept this. Its better he just doesn't know." Sam pauses and takes in what she just said. He knows she's right.
"All you have to do is agree, Sam" He's thinking. He knows it's a bad idea. But he's weak and gives in.
"Okay, Ruby." She smiles and slowly approaches him. He's still sitting down on the old, solid box. She sits astride him, on his lap. Sam looks worried, but kind of excited at the same time. He's done this before, he knows exactly what to expect. She pulls out a sharp knife from her boot and raises it so Sam can see it. She slowly cuts a deep enough line in her forearm. Sam watches the dark red blood drip down her arm.
"Are you ready, Sam?"
"Yes."
"Okay, drink." Ruby raises her arm so it's in front of Sam's face. He slowly puts his arms up and grips tightly onto Ruby's arm. He looks up at her.
"Go on, Sam"
"Okay." He puts his mouth around the cut; he tastes the blood on his lips. He starts to drink. He remembers how good it tastes, and starts to drink more heavily. It tastes good, he missed it. When Ruby lets out a small "Ahh" he realises that he is squeezing her arm really tight.
"Okay, Sam. I think you've had enough now." Sam stops drinking and looks up at her, he has no expression. His eyes are soulless.
"Did I hurt you?"
"No, Sam. It's okay. I'm fine."
"Okay, that's good"
"Does you're head still hurt?" Relief passes over his face as he realises that all the pain has gone and he feels numb.
"No, I feel better now. Thank you, Ruby."
"No need to thank me, Sam. I enjoy this. It makes you stronger; I know I'm helping you." Ruby is still sitting astride Sam. She notices Sam shifting uneasily. She puts one hand on his shoulder to reassure him.
"Its okay, Sam. Don't worry about it. At least you feel better now, right?"
"Yes, I guess so… I just feel so wrong."
"This is right, Sam. I'm helping you. Trust me." She leans in and plants a soft kiss on his cheek. Sam looks surprised and confused at her actions.
"This is right." She whispers in his left ear. She kisses him again, this time it's passionately on his lips. Sam moves away in shock.
"I can't do this, Ruby. You know I can't."
"Yes, you can. You can do anything you want."
"That's not what I meant. It's just this… It feels wrong. It is wrong."
"No it's not, Sam. This is so right." She kisses him again. Realising what he's done, he pushes her off his lap and she stumbles to her feet. He gets up quickly and starts to walk away.
"Wait." Ruby calls after Sam.
"I can't do this, Ruby. I'm sorry." He heads outside through the open door. It's 4:56am now; it's getting lighter outside. He starts walking back the way he came. He's deep in thought. He's thinking about Ruby. Why did she kiss him? She's a Demon. But he does feel better now, the pain has gone. The torment is finally over. He feels stronger. He starts thinking about Dean. He can never know about this. Sam knows exactly how Dean will react. It's because he doesn't understand. He will never understand. The thought of Dean knowing what he's been doing makes him sad. The last thing Sam wants is for his big brother to be ashamed of him. He can never know. He approaches the motel where they are staying. He quietly opens the door and see's that Dean is still fast asleep. He looks up at the clock on the wall, its 5:17am. He walks over to Dean's bed, and quietly places the Demon killing blade on his night stand. He walks over to the bed where he was sleeping a few hours ago and takes of his shoes and places them out the way. He lays down on the bed and looks over at Dean once more. He feels worn out and tired. He shuts his eyes and before he knows it, he's asleep.
