Title: Dear Logan
Summary: Camille and Logan have just broken up, and Camille is (not surprisingly) not very happy about it. Kogan, slight Logille and Ko.
Rating: T
Warnings: Pissed off slightly teenage girl. 'nuff said.
Disclaimer: I can't write accurate teenage guys for the life of me, do you really think I could mastermind Big Time Rush? Haha, no. I don't own Big Time Rush. And I don't particularly wish I did, either.
Word Count: 1065
A/N: Haha, what is wrong with my brain? It's Nanowrimo, and I go and write THIS. I think it has to do with the over the top writing stress.
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Dear Logan,
God, this is so stupid. Me writing you a letter to tell you…damn, that came out weird. I guess, since I'm not putting my name on the envelope because I just know Kendall would throw it away before you got to see it, I guess I need to tell you who I am.
It's Camille, Logan. And no, don't worry, I'm not writing to bitch you out (okay, maybe I will, just a little), or anything. I'm writing to tell you that everything's cool. Everything's gonna be okay, and someday, I'm gonna laugh about this. Someday, but not today.
Honestly, right now, I'm a wreck. Jo's just fallen asleep—she took the Kendall thing pretty well (but I'm still going to rip your boyfriend's face off the next time I see her for breaking her heart) and we both just cried for an hour…or, yannow, eight.
And Kendall, Logan? Really? I would've pegged you as a James type, if, you know, I'd been thinking my boyfriend was, you know, bisexual and had forgotten to tell me.
What's gonna happen tomorrow, Logan? Do you have any idea? 'Cause honestly, I have no clue. I have no idea if I'll accidentally run into you in the lobby and we'll have that whole ex awkwardness (sorry 'bout that, I totally didn't know you were into Kendall, I swear) or if we'll see each other and Jo will have to forcibly restrain me from murdering you both.
I have no idea if I'll see Kendall and get in a catfight (because he so fights like a girl, you have to give me that, I mean, seriously, he slaps people, doesn't even punch them) or bitch him out or try to ruin his rep or rip his hair out or if I might even be cool with it and tell him congrats and walk away the better person. I have no idea (and you have no idea how much I'm hoping I don't see any of you…except for Katie, she'll still due at my apartment for movie night on Friday with me, Jo and Stephanie, could you remind her? Thanks), and that scares me.
Letting go is hard, and I honestly think I'm giving myself hypothermia from trying to freeze you guys out. I'm an actress, and actresses are liars and make-believers and generally crazy people (yes, I'm admitting I have problems), but I just can't make believe that it doesn't hurt.
If anything, it makes it worse. I'm a total wreck right now—if anyone saw me, they'd be sure I was auditioning for that melodrama on ABC (you know, that one with the dead parents and the suicidal daughter? Incidentally, I'm auditioning for the suicidal daughter, and right now, I bet you I would SO land the part…hey, by the way, is James up for another movie role? Because the hair model spy prince and princess bot programmed to love are casting again, since the last audition…well, yannow, tanked when we brought the real bomb in…I swear, I didn't mean to singe his hair and I totally didn't mean to kiss him and I'm bringing up dead topics again, aren't I? But anyway, they loved our audition and wanted to know if James was up for it. It'd be good publicity for the band. Just saying.)
I guess I'm just a control-freak (kinda like Kendall, right? Okay, that was really out of line, sorry) and I need to know the future before I, yannow, freak.
You were the first guy I fell in love with, Logan. You'll always hold a special place in my heart, and no one's ever going to be able to budge you from your spot of specialness (yeah, I just said spot of specialness, I'm a drunk, depressed teenage girl who just had her previously unknown bisexual boyfriend break up with her in order to date his also bisexual best friend who had been cheating on my completely straight best friend with my previously unknown bisexual boyfriend. I think I'm allowed to make up words and sound generally ridiculous).
I loved you like you loved me (and don't tell me you didn't, I so know you did, also, I'm drunk and out for revenge and there is such a thing as justifiable murder, okay) and I thought you knew (was I really subtle? Because I've been told subtle isn't my strong point) and it just can't be replaced.
It was everything I needed, Logan, and I have to thank you for that. You kept me alive, for a good year (but seriously, couldn't you have freaking told me you were bisexual? Like, I dunno, when I kept commenting on cute guys and you got all pissed because I was looking at other guys? You couldn't have slipped in a comment, like, yeah, he's cute, or not really my type and then told me you were a little bisexual? No? Well, screw you)
I'll fall in love with someone else someday. It won't ever be the way I loved you.
It'll be wonderful, magical and everything I've ever waited for. It'll be a miracle—and don't you dare tell me otherwise, Logan Mitchell. I will kick your tail from here all the way back to Minnesota if you try to tell me otherwise.
So, yeah, I still love you.
But don't you dare talk to me (but I'll talk to James and Carlos, they're nice, so if you have anything to say to me, say it through them), because I honestly cannot say I will be the responsible person and not cuss you out in front of Tyler and Katie and all the little kids in the Palmwoods. Or the teachers, or Mr. Bitters (he'll totally think it's a role, so maybe I can get away with it) and I WILL make your life miserable (and Kendall's, as well) if you try to talk to me.
Hugs (not really) and Kisses (are you kidding me? NO WAY),
Camille
PS: If you to talk to Jo, she'd totally talk to you (and probably bitch you out and beat you up, which I SO would love to see)
PPS: Tell Kendall that if he hurts you, your relationship is going straight to the tabloids, Katie will mysteriously go missing (she's totally on my side, by the way) and I will make his life absolute hell.
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R&R?