This is a little Cowboy Bebop one-shot fic that's been bouncing
around my head for quite some time now. Basically, it's Session #7: Heavy
Metal Queen, only it takes place in a strange alternate universe, parallel
to that of Bebop. I didn't think I'd write any Bebop stuff, because I
don't consider myself worthy, but I really don't have a choice about this.
Zolac made me do it!
Disclaimer: I do not own Cowboy Bebop... not the show, not the manga, not the movie, not the characters, not the music, not anything. Sob! Go ahead, rub it in my face!
Warning: Um... spoilers for Session #7, kinda.... Uh... some blood and guts... mild use of language... I dunno if this should be PG-13, but I don't think it's PG either....
IRONIC
They had been chasing some dude named Decker, a little whiny creep with a passion for explosions. He had a sweet 12 million woolong reward on his head, but Spike and Faye were starting to think he was more trouble than he was worth. Then V.T. called in to say she'd cornered him in the Linus Mines. No choice. They had to get her out of that hell hole safely.
When the two bounty hunters arrived on the scene, Decker was already dead, killed when an explosion shattered his cockpit, exposing him to the lethal vacuum of space. So much for the reward. But there were more important things to worry about, like how the defunct mining sat's reactors were breaking up. And how the resulting explosions had blocked the exits, trapping them inside.
It had been V.T.'s idea to use Decker's enhanced nitro to blow through the rubble, but it was Spike's plan.
Faye backed slowly away from Decker's ship, clutching one of the delicate capsules gingerly in the Redtail's pincers. "Okay. I've got one of them. Now what do I do with it?!"
Spike tapped furiously at the Swordfish II's controls. "I'm programming this pod to shoot towards the exit in forty seconds. So get that nitro in here ASAP. You don't have a lot of time, Faye!"
"All right. But what are you going to do?"
He smirked. "My floating act." Shoving plugs into his ears, he inhaled deeply and popped the hatch. Propelled into space by the force of the air escaping, his body was flung towards V.T.'s ship. He floated gracefully upwards for several seconds.
Then his chest exploded, shooting droplets of his blood violently outward in a crimson mist. Faye screamed. V.T. gasped in shock and horror.
There was dead silence for several seconds.
"What... what happened?" quavered Faye, her eyes wide.
The trucker rubbed her hand across her face, her eyes creased in pain. "The stupid idiot," she said. "When he inhaled, he filled his lungs with air. Upon entering the zero pressure of space, the air expanded with explosive force. Didn't the dumbass pay attention in physics?"
"Is he... is he... dead?" asked Faye, her voice trembling.
V.T. sighed deeply. "I'm... I'm afraid so." She shook her head, grimacing. "If only the poor bastard had *exhaled*, he might have made it!"
ISN'T IT IRONIC?
* * *
Notes: You probably don't realize how hard it was for me to kill Spike. But... but... HE INHALED!!!!!! GYAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!! You can't do that! You have to *exhale*! You have to *empty* your lungs of air! If not, you'll *explode*!! Welcome to the magical land of *reality*, people!!! YE CANNA CHANGE THE LAWS OF PHYSICS, JIM!!!!!!!!!!
*Gasp*. *Gasp*. Ehehehehehe... ahem. What? Don't look at me like that! It... it was against the laws of physics! *Twitch*. The laws of physics... musn't break them... no... musn't break them... *twitch*. @_@
Disclaimer: I do not own Cowboy Bebop... not the show, not the manga, not the movie, not the characters, not the music, not anything. Sob! Go ahead, rub it in my face!
Warning: Um... spoilers for Session #7, kinda.... Uh... some blood and guts... mild use of language... I dunno if this should be PG-13, but I don't think it's PG either....
IRONIC
They had been chasing some dude named Decker, a little whiny creep with a passion for explosions. He had a sweet 12 million woolong reward on his head, but Spike and Faye were starting to think he was more trouble than he was worth. Then V.T. called in to say she'd cornered him in the Linus Mines. No choice. They had to get her out of that hell hole safely.
When the two bounty hunters arrived on the scene, Decker was already dead, killed when an explosion shattered his cockpit, exposing him to the lethal vacuum of space. So much for the reward. But there were more important things to worry about, like how the defunct mining sat's reactors were breaking up. And how the resulting explosions had blocked the exits, trapping them inside.
It had been V.T.'s idea to use Decker's enhanced nitro to blow through the rubble, but it was Spike's plan.
Faye backed slowly away from Decker's ship, clutching one of the delicate capsules gingerly in the Redtail's pincers. "Okay. I've got one of them. Now what do I do with it?!"
Spike tapped furiously at the Swordfish II's controls. "I'm programming this pod to shoot towards the exit in forty seconds. So get that nitro in here ASAP. You don't have a lot of time, Faye!"
"All right. But what are you going to do?"
He smirked. "My floating act." Shoving plugs into his ears, he inhaled deeply and popped the hatch. Propelled into space by the force of the air escaping, his body was flung towards V.T.'s ship. He floated gracefully upwards for several seconds.
Then his chest exploded, shooting droplets of his blood violently outward in a crimson mist. Faye screamed. V.T. gasped in shock and horror.
There was dead silence for several seconds.
"What... what happened?" quavered Faye, her eyes wide.
The trucker rubbed her hand across her face, her eyes creased in pain. "The stupid idiot," she said. "When he inhaled, he filled his lungs with air. Upon entering the zero pressure of space, the air expanded with explosive force. Didn't the dumbass pay attention in physics?"
"Is he... is he... dead?" asked Faye, her voice trembling.
V.T. sighed deeply. "I'm... I'm afraid so." She shook her head, grimacing. "If only the poor bastard had *exhaled*, he might have made it!"
ISN'T IT IRONIC?
* * *
Notes: You probably don't realize how hard it was for me to kill Spike. But... but... HE INHALED!!!!!! GYAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!! You can't do that! You have to *exhale*! You have to *empty* your lungs of air! If not, you'll *explode*!! Welcome to the magical land of *reality*, people!!! YE CANNA CHANGE THE LAWS OF PHYSICS, JIM!!!!!!!!!!
*Gasp*. *Gasp*. Ehehehehehe... ahem. What? Don't look at me like that! It... it was against the laws of physics! *Twitch*. The laws of physics... musn't break them... no... musn't break them... *twitch*. @_@