Hey everybody!

If you have any questions, feel free to post them in your review or PM me and I will answer them when I can and try to apply more info into future chapters!

This story, LoZ: PotS, is rated T for detailed violence, suggestive/sexual themes, and language. Expect lengthy chapters, I try for about 10,000+ words, with a lot of detail drawing not only from Twilight Princess but also Ocarina of Time, Skyward Sword, among other tidbits of other games.

Expect action, violence, blood, rich fight scenes, death, maybe a lemon or two and a lot more!

Please Note* If I missed any grammatical errors... I'll find them eventually.

I do not own the Legend of Zelda.

'How do you return to a normal life after having accomplished and seen more things than anyone else who've ever known? Things you never thought possible before, things that should not exist but do? How do you move past it all? Pretend it all never happened or that what's done is done? How do you go on living?'

These were only some of the questions among the tangled plethora of thoughts clouding the mind of the figure that was staring out across a grazed-upon field. Sprawled out this way and that, his wards moseyed around idly and remaining ignorant of his internal plight and high above, the vast blue sky was dotted with white clouds. Absentmindedly picking at the grass, the young man sighed for the hundredth time before allowing his victimized blades to flutter away to freedom in the wind. His blue-eyed gaze fell to his left hand and there his pupils traced the triangular birthmark that distinguished him as someone important, someone who had a destiny, who was meant for great things. Yet here he was, leading an ordinary life, as an ordinary goat herder, in an ordinary village… even his clothes were ordinary.

Ordinary now, or rather again, but the young man's life wasn't always this quiet and Link was definitely having difficulty returning back to what he used to refer to as his whole world. But really, how many people have to essentially relearn how to take a bath without worrying about being ambushed by monsters? Link did apparently. Hell, the first time that a goat had escaped from the ranch and Link found himself in its path, he had stopped the beast with ease but had grappled with it so strongly, his expression turned so dark, that when he tossed it aside the animal landed hard and was injured. Link had been deeply apologetic and horrified that he had hurt the goat and Fado and Mayor Bo both had to calm him down. They reassured him that it had been nothing but a mistake and that the goat would simply walk it off. Eventually Link relented but what truly had scared him was that when the goat had charged he swore it was a Bullbo, or something just as evil and dangerous. When Link hurled the creature aside he had been intending to hurt it in order to protect the village, but it had been simply a goat. Goats weren't the only things Link found difficulty with. Currently his daily routine consisted of waking early, washing and dressing, making breakfast before heading out into the crisp morning air to tend to his silver bay mare, Epona, in order to head off to work at Ordon Ranch. All were simple enough tasks but doing them all without constantly looking over your shoulder for an approaching Poe or Bulblin made them slightly stressful. Link had always taken his time with his truly noble steed in that he made sure she was properly groomed, that her hooves cleaned, and that her mane and tail were combed so that all the dirt and tangles were gone. Perhaps taking his time was an overstatement because it seemed that more often than not these days, no matter how early he awoke, Link was usually late to meet Fado up at the Ordon Ranch.

With each stroke of his grooming brush upon his horse, Link would sink deeper into his thoughts and into his dread of having to face yet another mundane day and he would lose track of time. It was no secret that he wasn't satisfied with his duties anymore, for the entire village knew it and behind their smiles and comfort, they knew that he was unhappy.

In the beginning when Link had first returned home adorned in heroic green, astride his mare, and his adventures and deeds swollen to idealized and grandiose levels by the village children whom he had saved, things seemed to be all right. Welcomed like the hero he was, Link's return home was overcast with an invisible shadow that hung over him and he quickly realized that no one would understand, even if he tried to explain it. There was just too much to tell and Link had never been good at talking, period. The villagers called him the 'Saviour of Hyrule,' as did the entire kingdom, but Link knew that he did not deserve all the credit.

His gratitude and smile satisfied most of them, the people whom Link had grown up with, but there were the few who could read that behind his blue eyes and see that he was conflicted, hurt, and that there were things on his mind that he should talk about but wouldn't. It did not take long for Rusl, Link's mentor and practically surrogate father who had taken the young Hylian under his wing after his parents died, to pull Link aside in private.

"Link," he greeted, "I just wanted to let you know again how thankful I am of you for saving my boy, Colin. I don't think that I'll ever feel like I've repaid you for what you've done. It's so good to have you back home though, but I just wanted to, umm... I wanted to ask about, I mean..." Rusl began but paused, the older man trying to find the words he had obviously practiced in saying, but his companion beat him to it.

"I know what you're going to ask, if I'm okay or something, and the truth is I really don't want to talk about it. Not just yet anyways." Link spoke softly, not meeting his mentor's eye but it was the truth, however vague it was. "I'm glad to be home too, yeah."

Finally when Link did look up to smile at the master swordsman, who studied him thoughtfully, silent and clearly wanting to say more, Rusl however only nodded in understanding, respecting the teenager's privacy and true to form he would not bring it up again. Rusl expressed his pride and wonderment towards Link, assuring him that he would always be welcomed at his home and that he would always be there if the younger man needed. That in itself Link appreciated more than words could describe.

There were, however, others who were not at placid as Rusl with Link's ambiguous responses of what was on his mind, namely Ilia. She had been one of the first to greet him when the village discovered he had returned. Speaking of his return, something strange happened when he had come back and he hadn't meant to do it. Link did not trot down into the centre of Ordon like he had imagined, announcing that he was home and that the evil threatening Hyrule had been vanquished, or something along those lines, with fanfare and birds flying around while the cheers of his fellow villagers filled the air. Instead, he went to his house on the outskirts of the village, unsaddled Epona, then headed up to his empty home. With the door closed behind him, Link just stood in the middle of the floor staring dully at the familiar surroundings under the twilight that seeped into his windowpanes. Only after of few minutes of standing in silence did he fall to his knees, exhausted, and shrugged off his Hylian shield and empty scabbard, before pulling off his forest green hat while the night's darkness enveloped him.

"Home sweet home…" he mumbled dryly and had half-awaited the snarky remark that had been his echo for the past few months.

When the response never came and the silence of his house seemed to mock him, Link thumbed the durable material of his hat and admired the stitching with his finger, wondering absently if the hat had any real useful function besides being awesome and very warm, which had not been fun in Gerudo Desert. Removing himself from the floor, Link lit a couple of candles before heading towards his cellar to lock his heroic life away. Stowing away the Hero's Clothes, his shield, his belt, gauntlets, and everything else that identified him as the hero Hyrule now recognized him as in a chest, Link shut the lid and tried to turn his back on his heroism and settle back into his rustic life. When the villagers and Ilia had come to his house the following morning Link was dressed in his simple Ordon clothes, bearing no heroic significance save for the mark of the Triforce upon his hand and the memories within his heart.

The moment he showed his face from his door, cheers and shouts of joy bombarded his ears and Link was nearly dragged down his ladder. Hands clasped his arms with pride, clamped him on the head and shoulders, and the villagers' infectious praises aroused a shy grin and blush within his cheeks. His chagrin only intensified when he found himself face to face with the girl who he had literally risked his life for. Ilia, his best friend for years, who threw her arms around his neck and planted a not-so-subtle kiss upon his cheek, which only roused the villagers even more, though their cheering turned to chuckles and glances at the embarrassed mayor, the girl's father. The kiss for sure took Link by surprise but what really took him aback was that he was not more excited for it and all he did in response was give her an awkward hug.

Once all the hullabaloo had settled, after everyone had their share of his ear, smothered him with questions and gratitude for returning their children and of course after the grand feast that was held in his honour, did Ilia manage to drag Link aside to finally speak with him in private. How fitting it was, Link thought, that they found themselves at Ordon Spring, or maybe it was some sort of poetic ring composition. Among the pleasantly dancing waters, home of the Light Spirit Ordona, was where Link's entire adventure began. Ilia sat aside him on the sand, both looking at the scenery and listening to the bubbling spring, and after a few moments she spoke.

"Link. I do not know how I could ever thank you, for saving me and the others and for helping me restore my memories and all… It's been a while since I last saw you and, well, I'm so happy that you're back now, that we're all back home." Pausing she looked at him, met his eye, and smiled while blushing in the moonlight. "You are truly amazing."

Rubbing the back of his neck, Link quickly broke eye contact, out of apparent shyness and said slowly, "Well, I had help," he said simply and was about to go on, but the sudden lump in his throat stopped him and he remained silent.

Ilia, catching his hesitation and perhaps interrupting it differently, reached over to take his hand and looking down, she continued, "I must admit, your bravery will become legendary, everyone knows that, and it's easy to see that just by looking at you. Even when I did not remember you, when I saw you, I felt... no, I knew that you were a hero, that you were meant to help people and for greatness!" Biting her lower lip, Ilia struggled to find her words and giggled at herself to which Link smiled softly at but he took his hand from hers to idly toss a pebble into the waters of the spring.

"Ilia. A lot has happened during my travels, so much that really, I can't fathom it all looking back on it but, it's ah… going to take some time I think until I get used to everything again. I mean… I've been through a lot after all." That was as close as Link had wanted to get to the issue at hand and he had hoped that Ilia would understand like Rusl had, but she would not let him off that lightly.

Leaning closer, concern and perhaps slight hurt in her expression, Ilia began to ask, "What do you mean, Link? I can understand that you've been through more things than anyone here could comprehend. Hell, the things I've seen I'm sure are only a fraction of what you probably have, but why don't you tell me? I can help you, I'm sure I can… I mean we used to tell… I mean, we do tell each other everything, don't we? If we talked about it all, maybe it'll get better for you." Crossing her arms, Ilia pouted slightly before smirking aside at her friend, "Face it, you've always just bottled everything up and not want to talk about it."

Link could not answer her, not this time, and his hesitation seemed enough to inform Ilia of that, although the sigh he heard from her made him frown with guilt. The guilt that he felt was not because Ilia was clearly disappointed that he would not open up to her, but more so due to the fact that he felt no heartache that he had disappointed her and that confused him.

"I'm just asking for a bit of time, Ilia, okay? Just to figure things out. Please? I'll be all right, it's just weird to be back home I guess."

Looking up at her, Link caught the fleeting sight of his friend's frown before Ilia's expression changed to a smile and she nodded. Returning her smile was enough for the girl to reach over and hug him, whispering into his ear, "I am so glad that you're home, Link," and while Link hugged her back, he found himself thinking if he truly was as glad as she was.

That was almost five months ago now and during that time Link had indeed returned to his rustic routine and how he now found himself sitting on the grass of the goat pasture with Epona grazing a few feet away from him. He had been trying, he truly had, to move on and relax back into his life before monsters destroyed Ordon's pleasant and safe reality and brought the Twilight to the doorstep of the Ordona Province. The children of Ordon were kidnapped and Link had been imprisoned, though when he had awakened he found himself changed into a wolf, a form courtesy of the piece of the Triforce that resided in his hand that had protected him from the darkness of the Twilight Realm. It was as a wolf that he had met the person who was now a constant presence in his thoughts.

"And to think, I was her 'slave' at the start," Link thought aloud, smirking at the memory. His musings were disturbed when the eighteen-year-old's attention turned to the sky to see a black spot against the vast azure, which he recognized to be the hawk that he knew he could summon with some Hawk Grass. The fact that he had heard the bird's call from such a far distance only gave more reason as to why the villagers worried about Link and perhaps slightly feared him. Having been able to transform into a wolf had been useful in situations and while Link had grown accustomed at being a four-legged beast, the transformation was only supposed to be when he came into contact with the Twilight. However, it would seem that the darkness had imprinted itself upon his soul and body.

Smells and sounds sometimes came upon Link's senses too strongly, occasionally resulting in him having to cover his ears while others looked on in concern but unable to help him. Not disclosing what was wrong with him, the villagers had no explanation why Link would sometimes sniff the air or even growl. Rusl, worried for Link's well-being but wanting to give the youth time to open up on his own, tried to quell his fellow villagers' concerns and reassure them that he was fine. In truth, how was Link supposed to explain himself anyways? How does someone tell others that there were times on his journey where he could turn into a wolf and that's actually how he managed to find the children and Ilia? How there had been a chuck of Shadow Crystal within his body and, oh, on top of things that when he was a wolf, how he was also ridden by a magical imp who turned out to be the Twilight Princess?

"Midna," he whispered, watching the hawk soar across the sky before disappearing from sight. A breeze shifted his light brown hair and Link reached up and rubbed his eyes before lying back upon the ground with a grunt. Too many nights now since his return Link had been awoken by nightmares, riddled with monsters, or endless darkness drowning him, or the maniac figure of Zant, or the thunderous, dark chuckle of Ganondorf, which was the worst of all. No matter how hard Link fought, how many enemies he slew, his dreams always ended with Midna leaving his side and Link suddenly having to face all those evils by himself and becoming overwhelmed.

Never could Link forget the last time he saw her. She was leaving this realm for her own and in her wake the Mirror of Twilight shattered, thus ending all connections between their worlds. His friend, who at first he couldn't stand but then grew to trust, was gone. After all they had went through, she just left, just like that, with a simple good-bye and then nothing. Link had been left standing aside the Princess Zelda, both in a state of shock and Link hadn't quite gotten over Midna leaving yet, knowing that he probably would never see her again. In the end, Link just really missed his friend and that was partly the reason why he couldn't sleep at night, why his thoughts brought with them such a sad expression to his face. When he thought about her, Link found it difficult to visualize Midna anything but the snarky imp he had developed a deep sense of trust and friendship with, while the tall beauty of a princess whom had said farewell to him seemed like a stranger. A close friend turned stranger.

While it had been five months since he returned to Ordon and his 'big adventure' had ended, Link hadn't remained in the province for long. In fact, a couple weeks after he had returned Link couldn't resist the temptation. He was feeling anxious and in a act of weakness, he reopened the chest in his cellar. Once more he donned the clothes of a hero and memories flooded his mind: his numerous battles, the grandeur of Lake Hylia, the aridness of the Great Desert, the desolation of Hyrule Castle, and the heartache to be a hero once more. Link had slipped away, only meeting Ilia on his way out, from whom he only received a nod of understanding and a simple "Hurry home, Link" from her. His departure was narrowly missed by Fado, who had come up to Link's house to see why the Hylian hadn't shown up for his ranch duties. Spurring Epona to go faster, Link made it as far as Faron Spring before he reigned his mare to stop. He couldn't do it... what was he doing anyway? For months he fought monsters and yearned to return home and he had, yet here he was running off without giving anyone a word, towards the great unknown. No plan, no reason, just the driving burn in his chest that told him to keep going.

That day, Link, Saviour of Hyrule, wept in silence with only Epona as witness. He wept for himself, his confusion, his guilt, and for Midna. His tears dripped down into the waters of Faron Spring and unbeknownst to him, Faron the Spirit of Light, was drawn to his tears and pitied the hero from the Realms of Spirits. In time, Link dried his tears and turned his mare to start back towards Ordon, for he belonged there, not out on adventures. Hyrule was moving on from her days of Twilight and so should he. When Link returned no one knew of his near-departure, save for Ilia, and once again he shut away his Hero's Clothes and returned to his ranch work.

"Link!"

Link's eyes snapped open and he bolted upright, unaware that he had begun to fall asleep, when he saw Fado waving at him from across the field. A glance at the sky revealed that the day was coming to an end and that the herd needed to be moved into the barn. Link raised his hand to acknowledge the other before standing to mount Epona. Taking the reigns in hand, Link made fast work of his farmhand duties and in no time, Fado was shutting the barn gates and dusting his hands upon his pants.

"Well now, Link! That's a fine job you did and I can't tell you how nice it is having you back, you know, you and all of the other children. I can say, life's back to normal, eh?"

"Yeah, it is, isn't it?"

Clapping Epona lightly on her rump, Fado grinned up at Link who nodded and smiled back before bidding the rancher goodnight and trotted out of the ranch. Descending the hill into the main layout of Ordon village, Link slowed his mount to a walk and here and there he raised his hand in greeting or gave a nod, but did not stop for a chat and no one tried to have one with him. It had taken a couple of months but eventually everyone realized that Link wanted space. Even Colin, Malo, and the other children didn't come by his house as often as they had before. While he hadn't intentionally wanted to push everyone away, that's what had been happening and as much as Link tried to vouch for his reasons, he found more often than not that he liked it this way.

The hero preferred not to be bothered and a lot of his alone time was spent practicing his swordsmanship with the Hylian blade Princess Zelda had given to him, among other titles and honours. After months of training with it, the sword still felt awkward in his hand, a dull piece of steel rather then the pulsing extension of his arm of evil's bane that was the Master Sword. The sword of legend he had returned to the ruined Temple of Time, advised by the princess, for his adventures and need of it ought to have been over. Still, he was the Hero Chosen by the Gods and only he could wield the legendary blade, meaning any other sword felt just wrong in his grip.

One afternoon not long after he had returned to Ordon, Link had been practising with the Hylian sword and was intent on seeing the death of a frail scarecrow but every swing of the sword felt wrong and spurred the boy's anger. With every slice, strike, slash, and swing, Link's expression darkened with fury, his mouth shifted into a snarl of annoyance, and his eyes blazed with impatience and irritation. With one final slash and a mighty yell, Link succeeded in hewing his target in two at the waist and breathing heavily, the hero watched his foe fall. The damned scarecrow mocked him, even when it was splinters on the forest floor, its faceless head stared at him and Link recoiled when a maniacal laughter filled his head. Link gasped, dropped his sword, and fell to his knees with his hands tightly covering his ears, eyes shut tight. With his pulse thundering in his ears, the cackling soon died away and Link coughed and sputtered when he was free of the memory of the tall, dark figure of Ganondorf. The dark king plagued Link's nightmares and from lack of sleep tearing down at the hero's senses, was also beginning to invade his waking hours as well. Heaving breaths shook Link's body and a deep growls rumbled from his chest while he weakly gripped for the scarecrow's head and numbly beat it with his fist.

"It's over! It's over!" he mumbled again and again, angrily punching at the straw-filled sack that was the scarecrow's head. "I'm not a wolf! I'm not Hyrule's hero anymore! I'm just... I'm just..."

...just an ordinary farm boy.

Pausing his punches Link stayed like that, kneeling on the ground with his head hanging low almost as if he were in mourning for the murder he had just committed of a simple scarecrow, angry tears rolling rebelliously down his face. Eventually he stopped shaking and was able to take a deep breath and collect his wits back together again, but failed to find a reason to move from that spot. Why? Why should he get up? To do what? For the first time in months, Link didn't know what to do next and he was tired of expecting Midna to appear and smack him while she ordered that he get going. Midna was gone, she had got what she wanted, had broken the curse on her, and had helped Link stop Ganondorf. Midna had left to get on with her own life so why couldn't Link? Why couldn't he shake the feeling that he was uncomfortable in the one place in all of Hyrule that he had always called home?

"Why can't things be like the way they were before?"

It wasn't until he felt a nudge on his back did a spark of life appear back in his eyes and Link turned to see Epona's majestic head looming over him that gave the Hylian the strength to stand. Letting the sack-of-a-head roll from his lap, Link got up, dusted off his pants, and wrapped his arms around his mare's neck to bury his face into her mane.

"What's the matter with me?" he had muttered to her, but Epona had given him no answer that day.

Riding up the small hill, Link finally came into sight of his house and he stared up at the dwelling with an indifferent expression, daring even a glance at the fallen figure of the scarecrow that had remained untouched since its murder months before, leaves had shifted to partly hide the maimed body. Typically, after a day's work a man would be glad to return home and be able to eat and rest but Link simply followed the motions of dismounting from his horse and unsaddling her, his movements stiff and mechanical while his thoughts whirled.

Nowadays if he wasn't practicing with his sword or busying himself with Epona, or some other mundane task, Link found himself to be anxious, restless, paranoid at sounds, and tense, though he tried to hide it from the rest of the villagers. His adventures had not only transformed him into a wolf but also into a warrior, a hero nevertheless, and as Link unsaddled Epona he knew that he was living a lie. Whoever heard of a hero truly retiring to a mundane life of concord? A hero never lost his sense of guard, sense of morality and of justice, and herding goats wasn't really that brave or trying. It did not matter how much he tried or how much time he afforded, but Link was simply no longer just be a farmhand. He had seen too much, done too much, and now he was finding that the life he used to yearn for back when he first began his adventures no longer held any comfort nor lustre for him.

"Some things, you just can't change," he mumbled, stroking his horse's neck until she bumped him with her nose in affection. Link had raised Epona since she had been a yearling, a fine though spirited young filly, but with time, patience, and a lot of bruises did Link manage to gain her trust. The mare was about four now, healthy and young, and Link had considered in the past breeding her knowing that she would make a good mother and any offspring she bore would make fine mounts, but his recent role as a hero had but an end to that idea. The teen trusted the horse with his life and he had relied on her plenty of times as of late to carry him to safety and breeding her would put an end to that. Call him selfish, but now that he has lost Midna, Link didn't want to lose Epona either, if one could call her foaling as losing her.

But what was he saying? Change happened all the time! Link had just found himself in a rut in his life and was being pessimistic, a quality uncommon to his usual nature. Frowning and letting his head sink, Link dramatically fell over when Epona nudged him, causing the mare to snort and sniff at her fallen master in the tall grass at her feet. Eyes closed, Link remained as still as he could while he fought against reacting to the tickling ability of Epona's soft muzzle, the horse's lips smacking on his cheek and his nose was in danger of being nipped. Peeking a blue eye open, Link met his mare's big and bright, brown eye and a chuckle bubbled past his lips when she blinked at him.

"I'm fine," he told her, reaching up to obediently respond to her call for affection. "Yeah, I'm fine..." he repeated, his tone lower and his smile faded.

That wasn't true. Hell, sometimes Link wasn't even sure what was real anymore. Occasionally when he was out in the goat field, lounging in the grass like he had been today, he had to ask himself if Midna was actually real, if the Master Sword, Ganondorf, and everything else that had actually happened was real or if he had dreamt it all up. Link had come full circle, from simple farmhand to hero and back again, and it was only the faint birthmark of the Triforce upon his left hand that was a physical reminder that it all had happened. Shifting in the tall grass, Link continued to idly scratch Epona's neck while she pleasantly began munching on the grass. From his vantage point, Link didn't have much of a view of the sky but from what he could see, the creeping, rosy tendrils of sunset were slowly tainting the rich blue of the day. He had to get up, get things done like grooming Epona, giving her hay, and getting inside to eat for himself, but by the goddesses... that did not sound exciting at all.

Relenting to his inner sense of responsibility, the teen sat up, grass in his hair, that Epona happily helped him remove with a tugging pull of her lips on his light brown hair. Chucking again, Link gently shoved her aside and stood, smoothing his wild locks and set to work. Grooming Epona thoroughly before leaving the mare to her hay, Link climbed up to his house to begin the monotonous routine of lighting his hearth's fire and readying his meal before heading to bed.

Retrieving his tinder cloth and flint, Link knelt before the hearth and built up his kindling. Just as he was about to strike his steel and flint, a knock came upon his door and the Hylian looked up from where he was kneeling before his hearth in surprise.

"Who is it?"

"Link! It's me. Let me in, would'ya?"

Hearing Ilia's voice caused the young man to momentarily frown. Recently, he found himself slightly avoiding the girl, who had done him justice as his friend by having not barraged him with questions, but had made it clear that her feelings for him were more than friendship. This Link already knew and for a long time had hoped for, though given these past few months, he found that while he could kiss her, which happened on occasion now, he did not think of her as he once had. Getting up and walking to the door, he unlatched it to reveal Ilia's smile, to which he returned. Standing aside, he allowed her to come in and shutting the door, the youth barely had the latch closed before he found himself in an embrace.

"Ilia? Ah, how are you?" he said in surprise before trying to sound casual and gently settling his hands upon her back.

"Fine," she replied shortly, "Link, we need to talk."

"Oh," he breathed, feeling his dread stir within his chest. "What do you mean ta-"

Link was cut off by soft fingers to his lips and, confused, he followed Ilia when she led him to sit before the cold hearth. Picking up the flint and steel he had left on the floor, Ilia began striking the metal to spark the tinder cloth as she spoke, "Okay, here it is. These past five months I have been nothing but patient with you, I think anyways. I've tried to be there for you when you need me and I admit that I'm happy to be with you. But, Link, I can't... I can't stand it anymore." Pausing to blow on her small flame, Ilia continued once smoke began to billow and signalling the life of a new fire, looking at Link with an expression that used to make him flinch. "I can't stand the waiting, the silence, and the dismissal you seem to give the entire village these days without actually doing anything. I mean, what on earth could have happened to you for you to become so distant and why won't you talk to me? It's driving me crazy insane, Link! And it doesn't help in the least that you seem to have no idea that you're doing it! Well, I mean you could, but that would be so cruel, especially for you."

The more Ilia spoke, the more frantic and angry her tone became until she was gazing at Link with desperate, angry eyes. It was clear that she had been bottling these words up for a while and they had all come out in sort of a heated rush. Wetting his lips, Link looked away from her only to have his cheeks taken and forcefully turned back to face her.

"Oh no! No, you will look at me, and I want answers, Link! Just… please, let me in, let me help you! Please, just give me a reason not to worry! And I am worried, Link, worried about you and about us... I mean..." Ilia paused to take a deep breath, her eyes upon her growing fire, "I can't help this feeling in the pit of my stomach that you're going to leave." The end of her sentence was barely louder than a whisper and filled with a storage of insecurity and worry.

"Ilia," Link began slowly, trying to find the words, "We've talked about this before, I just need time, okay? I went through a lot and still don't know if I want to talk about it all. I don't think I'm asking for a lot with that."

Ilia frowned and sighed. "I know," she relented, "I just... I just want to help you but how can I when you won't let me in? You won't let anyone in and I'm sorry to say but if you haven't noticed, the entire village is worried too, Link."

"I know," Link mumbled, reaching up to reach the back of his neck, trying not to get annoyed about this entire conversation. He could understand Ilia's feelings and appreciated her concern, but fuck! He didn't want to deal with this sort of thing, not now anyways. Running his fingers through his hair, that small voice at the back of his mind argued that if not now, then when? How was it fair to keep Ilia in the dark when it was clear she wanted to know more and help him?

"Ilia," he began, but was quickly cut off because apparently, Ilia wasn't done.

"Oh, and then there's the whole... Well, I don't even know what to call it, but sometimes the way you act..." Ilia clearly was stumbling to find the right words and it was then that Link was starting to get annoyed because he knew very well what she was referring to.

"What?" He pushed, arching a brow somewhat critically.

Ilia, her expression hardening to match his, lifted her chin and in a steady tone said, "Sometimes you act like a dog or something, and yes I mean that literally. People are talking, Link. You've been heard growling, people swear that they hear howling from your house at night, and more than once Sera has seen you talking to her cat, as in conversation wise." Crossing her arms Ilia leaned forward, forcing Link to sit back and in a louder tone the young woman continued, "I mean what the hell is up with that, Link? And why the hell can't you tell me? I want to understand but you sure are making it difficult to be with..."

Ilia faded to silence, her eyes narrowed dangerously and her lips quivered but Link, being as oblivious as he could sometimes be, failed to see that his friend was only trying to hold back her tears so when he spoke, anger burned in his voice.

"What? Difficult to be with me? Well sorry to burst your bubble, Ilia, but perhaps it's those very reasons that I don't want to talk about it because look how you react! Maybe I am crazy but I've been through hell and back if you haven't figured that out! Why in all of Hyrule would you want to be with me if-"

Without warning or given any chance of time for Link to finish his tirade, Ilia leaned forward and forcefully pressed her lips upon his. Taking only a moment to react, Link kissed back like he usually did, enjoying the taste of her lips, with as equal passion as she was giving him and while wrapping his arms hungrily around her, he hoped. Link hoped that he would once again feel something for her that resembled what he used to, like before when he was nothing more than a farmhand. Did he enjoy brooding and being as vague as Ilia accused him of being? Not entirely, there was a part of him that wanted to be normal again but call that wishful thinking. Still, he had been trying and if that entailed deepening his kissing as Ilia gently pushed him onto his back to practically straddle him, then so be it. Ironic though, him baring the Triforce of Courage, he couldn't even confess up to his best friend that he didn't love her anymore. Link knew that he was being cowardly, leading Ilia on with the way he was kissing her now and the way his fingers slid across the back of her neck; kissing Ilia helped him forget his own troubles and if he told her that, she'd probably hate him for it.

'I probably would have told Midna,' he thought in spite of his current situation, causing him to pause, but Ilia only responded by caressing his cheek to coax him back into her rhythm.

The heat of the growing fire in the hearth mirrored the heat Link felt in his body, his masculinity responding to Ilia's lips. His hands slid to her hips to gently hold her as hers caressed his face, a bit strongly if his mind cared to think about it. The first time their lips met was probably around a month after he had returned. In those early days, Link had found himself greatly struggling to return to rustic tasks like being still to watch the goats, fishing, or even carry on a conversation, not that he was great at that in the first place. The children barraged him with questions and begged of him to show him his skills and his various items, but when it came to their inquiries of his quest Link only gave fragments, half-answers. Link's first kiss with Ilia had slightly been a mistake because she had been asking him questions, even though he had asked her not to, but when she wouldn't take no for an answer he had just kissed her.

It just happened, he hadn't intended it but just when Link had tried to pull away, Ilia had thrown her arms around him to deepen the kiss and... Link followed suit. Their tender kissing eventually intensified and their endeavours had lengthened to full make-out sessions and it was all very nice, satisfying even. Link enjoyed feeling Ilia so close, the warmth of her skin. Many times he reasoned this was so because of how he felt for Ilia but then there was the small voice that suggested that he enjoyed simply for the escape, the company of a woman and nothing else.

A small moan escaped his throat that turned into a growl when he felt her hand at his waist's sash, he instinctively grabbed her hand back. Their kiss ended with a gasp as Ilia jerked back in surprise to look down at him, confused and slightly worried.

"What are you doing?" he asked, panting, his tone light but the question held weight. He hoped she wouldn't bring up the fact that he growled while knowing full well that it was the reason she had stopped kissing him. Well, that reason and the fact that she had tried to undo his pants.

"What do you mean?" she answered, glancing at his hand firmly upon her wrist while a deep blush bloomed in her cheeks and her eyes twitched with shyness.

Catching her glance, the heat within him dulled and he quickly released his grip on her arm, though Link looked up at her with growing suspicion. "Ilia? I think you know what I mean," he said slowly.

"Well..." she began, before shrugging slightly, "Why not?"

Sighing, Link shook his head. "No, Ilia, not like this…"

"What do you mean 'not like this'?" Her response ringed with slight annoyance and perhaps panic but Link was aware that they were both thinking the same thing, or at least he hoped so.

The Hylian leaned up on his forearm to better look up at Ilia as he said, "I mean, this! What are we doing here? We were just arguing and you're mad and... this isn't what you want, is it?"

His question almost came out like an accusation and Link regretted his words when he saw the hurt and embarrassment flash across his friend's face. Frantically she looked around, wetting her lips, before quickly wrapping her arms around his neck so tightly he gasped in surprise.

"Wh-what am I doing here? What do I want?" she repeated into his, sounding slightly unsure herself, "Link, you stupid idiot, can't you see that I love you? That's why I'm here, to be with you! I want you, I want to be with you! Please, please don't leave!"

The hero's eyes grew wide from shock and lack of oxygen and he froze. Once upon a time, not too long ago sadly, he would have been over the moon, thanking the goddesses upon hearing Ilia say those words, but now all he could focus on was shifting slightly so he could breathe better in the girl's grasp. He could feel her shaking, desperate and afraid, and naturally he wrapped his arms around her to try and soothe her, though he knew that what he had to say would procure the exact opposite. It was time to be a hero and make the hard but right choice.

"Ilia. I don't think us getting... are you just saying that so I won't leave?" he asked softly.

"Then you are leaving."

Her reply came quick, full of knowing and full of sadness, and Link felt her composure sink a bit as the reality in her words weighed down. However, the Hylian had an inkling that what Ilia really wanted to say was to confirm that he didn't love her, rather then him leaving. Frowning, Link sighed, knowing he would never be able to say that to her but he did love her, though not like she felt towards him. Stroking the back of her hair, Link opened his lips to speak after he felt her hands slide to his back from his neck.

"Yes," he said simply, being more honest to her in that single word than he probably had been in the past months and the word answered more than he wanted to think about.

"For how long?" she mumbled into his hair numbly, her back tense with suppressed sobs.

"I don't know…"

"Will you ever come back?"

Her question brought Ilia back to face him, her eyes brimming with tears that Link realized probably weren't the first she had shed for him concerning this. Reaching up, the man caressed her cheek for a second before whispering, "I… don't know."

Wiping back her tears, Ilia looked away, taking in a breath to try and remain strong, before slowly placing both her hands upon Link's chest, adjusting her position on his lap. When she spoke next, her words were quiet and faint, as if she had spoken them a hundred times so that now they barely held any meaning.

"Do you love me?"

She had said it, dragged it out in the open, and Link wished she hadn't. Pain flashed across his face but he could not lie to himself or especially to her, she deserved more then that after all. "Ilia," he breathed, unsure where to put his hands so he brought one to raise her chin to make her look at him.

The loud slap that suddenly bit his cheek was indication enough that he had her attention. Blinking, the Hylian resisted the urge to rub the sting from Ilia's hand and his guilt deepened when her sobs intensified. "Why not, Link? You save me, you kiss me, but you don't feel anything for me? I thought you did, or hoped you did. I may have lost my memory but I remember us... You-"She would have gone on Link was sure if her sobbing hadn't stolen her capacity for words.

"I think that… for a long time I loved you, Ilia." Link finally said, taking her face with her face to hold her close. "Perhaps I didn't fully know it myself or maybe I was too afraid to say it out loud or maybe it was both, but I have always cared very much about you, I hope you know that." Retrieving his handkerchief from his pocket, the young man tried to help dry her tears but she swatted him away, leaving him only to continue. "Then you were taken and I felt like my heart had been ripped from my chest and I knew that I would do anything, give anything, to save you. But, when I found you, Ilia, in Castle Town, you did not know me. I found the pain of knowing that I may never get the chance to tell you how I felt almost overwhelming, that I had lost my chance."

Taking a moment to pause because his own voice was beginning to crack, Link took a deep breath and closed his eyes, feeling the pricks of tears but he could no stop the truth spilling from his lips even if he wanted to. "I fought so hard and so many enemies to ensure your safety and that of everyone else, until I realized that I was fighting for my life, both literally and figuratively I guess. You, Beth, Colin, Malo, and Talo, you all mean so much to me and you all are apart of my life here in Ordon. I… err, I mean… when you regained your memory, it was as if I suddenly got my life back! I was so happy and for a moment it felt that all I had fought for was finally over, because I had been fighting for you most of all. I wanted to tell you how I felt but even then I couldn't find the words."

Ilia hiccupped a tiny smile and dabbed away at her eyes, giving Link a moment to collect himself, his voice changing into a more serious tone. "But it wasn't over, Ilia, the fighting, and I fear that it will never truly be over. I had more to do and the more I did the more I realized that… I could never go back to my old life, never return to being carefree or settle down, not in Ordon anyway or…"

"Not with me." Ilia finished Link's sentence and she looked at him with heavy eyes and it was all Link could do but return her gaze, owning up to his words and his resolve.

Swallowing, Link stumbled finally with his words, unsure how to go on from there, but ended up on the truth that, as he said it, sounded so unfair but Ilia had the right to hear it. "I thought if I tried to go back to my life in Ordon that I could forget how to be hero, that if I was here with you like how I used to dream about, that I wouldn't want to fight. I hoped that your kisses would help keep the nightmares away but... they haven't. I know if I stay here I would be living a lie. Ilia, I tried, for you, I tried but..."

Any other words Link could think of he knew would only hurt her more, make her cry, and make him look more like a selfish ass. He didn't know how to apologize or make her understand, though he knew that he had no right to try to make her. Hell, Link wouldn't blame Ilia if she never wanted to speak or see him again after this. The boy was saved from speaking when Ilia suddenly planted a soft kiss upon his lips, much to his surprise.

"Wherever you go, Link, know that to me you will always be my hero and my best friend and for that reason alone, I will always love you. I just… hope that you won't totally forget me or your old life when you leave."

Her words were breathed upon his lips lightly and delicately, but they struck his heart like arrows and Link felt like she was banishing him. Before he could respond or stop her, Ilia stood from his lap and made her way towards the door. "Ilia!" Link called, causing her to pause though she didn't look back and after a moment Link said in a low tone, "I'm sorry. I… "

She did not allow his to finish as he was cut off by the slam of his door and Link did not go after her. Instead, Link sat there facing his hearth, the taste of Ilia's tears still on his lips, with a growing sense of restlessness within his chest. It felt as though a curtain had been pulled away from his mind and with it a number of questions that had remained unanswered disappeared and it became clear to Link of what he must do from then on and what path he must take.

He had no reason to remain here any longer.

In the morning, Link would say his farewells and leave Ordon. He'd set out once again in the wide world to begin his life as a hero of Hyrule and perhaps discover the reason why he had just broken Ilia's heart.