My Life In Black And White
Disclaimer- don't own Torchwood...I know it's so unfair
A/N- I don't think I give you enough Owen stories... Let's be serious, this is the only one. I wrote the diary part last night, I didn't intend it to be a story but some how it turned into one. Hope you like it.
Owen ran up the stairs. His mum was drunk again. But he made the mistake of talking to her this time. Owen tried to blame the alcohol. It wasn't his mother talking to him, it was the drunken stupor she was in. He couldn't do it though. Its your fault! Your fault I drink, you bloody disgrace! He was always messing things up. Owen got to his room and slammed the door shut. He ran to the side of his bed and collapsed on the floor. He took out his note book and started writing.
Love. What is love. A feeling? An excuse? A reason? Love to me is non existent. Because the people that's suppose to love you, don't. Family always seems to disappoint. They'll get mad. Say things they didn't mean to say. They'll forget but you won't. It'll linger on and the pain is always just as raw. You can try to ignore it but, it's always there. Sometimes they'll give you that look. That look that shows your not what they wanted. You didn't grow up like they wanted you to. They only love you because they have to. You'll never be anything more than a disappointment. A disgrace. You just hold your breath wishing that one day you'll die of suffocation. Maybe you'll die from all the times you tried to scratch and cut yourself but stopped because you couldn't bear seeing the marks and remembering. You hope that one day, you'll just drop dead for no reason so maybe the tears will stop making a track down your cheeks. Lovers come and go. They arn't there when you need them. And as soon as they leave, you become even more broken and vulnerable then you were before. Friends don't seem to understand the impact they make. When secrets spill they don't care but you only seem to feel betrayed. All you can remember is that you weren't good enough. When friends have left you behind, they don't realize it's their fault you can't trust anyone anymore. They don't know that they created the mask you wear everyday. Random strangers seem to make me feel the worst. They don't even know you but you see the judgement in their eyes. The frowns when you walk past. The passing remarks. And all we want to do is ignore it and hope it goes away. But it never will. This is my life. A life full off fake smiles and regret. A life with the absence of love. A life where all I do is try to forget. This is my life. My life in black and white.