First Year
"Who's that ginger again?"
"Lily Evans."
"Oh, right."
"…"
"You know, she looks like a carrot."
"Yes James, you've told me three times in the last 30 minutes."
"Oh. Sorry."
"Don't worry about it."
"Her freckles make her look pale."
"I know. You already told me. You've also already said that she looks like fire, that she's abnormally short and that she's a pain."
"Sorry."
"Don't worry about it."
"…"
"…"
"You know, she really is-"
"I KNOW! YOU HATE HER! I GET IT!"
"Actually, I was going to say she's kind of cute. In a strictly platonic way, of course."
"Of course, Potter."
Second Year
"Do you think she likes me?"
"Who?"
"Evans. Do you think she likes me?"
"HA! She hates your guts. Get over it mate."
"C'mon Pads, she said hi to me last Monday at potions."
"That's because Slughorn paired you up for the project."
"Oh and what a beautiful project partner she made."
"You're losing it Prongs."
"HEY!"
"I'm just being honest. Though, I don't know why you spend all your time pining over some girl. Quidditch try outs are coming up, we need to train."
"Hmm, what sorry? I was looking at Evans. She smiled at me, you know."
"That's it Prongs, I'm leaving."
"Wait, Padfoot! Sorry! I'm easily distracted."
"So I figured."
"What were you saying about Quidditch?"
"We need to practice."
"Yeah! Then we'll make the team, I'll win us the match and Evans and I will have beautiful ginger babies."
"…"
Third Year
"You know she always sticks her tongue out when she's writing an exam?"
"Yes Prongs, you've told me before."
"Oh. Well, I bet you don't know that she eats two waffles with whipped cream and strawberries with a glass of milk every morning for breakfast. Except on Thursdays, when she treats herself to pumpkin juice."
"I know mate."
"Oh."
"You really like her don't you?"
"So much!"
"Well personally, I think you're wasting your time with that bird. Time to spread your wings mate. She's not into you."
"Just you wait Padfoot, soon, she'll be eating out of the palm of my hand."
"Whatever you say mate."
Fourth Year
"You know Pads, maybe Evans just isn't all that into me."
"Oh really? And what makes you say that? Other than the fact that THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I'VE BEEN TELLING YOU FOR THREE FUCKING YEARS!"
"Ok, calm down mate. Anyway, I asked her out again after lunch, and instead of the usual rude but clever comeback and glare, she slapped me!"
"Wow."
"I know, right?"
"You missed the sarcasm mate."
"You're missing the point Sirius! I think she went from hating me, to wanting me to die a slow, painful death."
"OK, let me tell you something about women. They like men, and frankly, you haven't hit that stage yet. Sorry mate, but I think that Evans is looking for someone a little more serious. Like me! HA!"
"Black…"
"Hey, I'm kidding. Calm, yeah?"
"Easy for you to say. You've had at least 10 girlfriends since school started."
"It's your own fault for refusing anyone but Evans, who hates you by the way."
"Aw, Sirius, what am I going to do?"
"Here's a thought, man up and get over it!"
"…"
Fifth Year
"HA! Progress Padfoot! Progress!
"Lemme guess, Evans?"
"Yeah! Today, when I asked her out over lunch, she laughed!"
"Uh Prongs? You've got mashed potatoes on your chin."
"Aw, fuck!"
"Heh."
"The the bloody hell is wrong with that girl?"
"I don't know Prongs. She has to be crazy to pass up an opportunity with me."
"Not funny Sirius."
"Eh, I apologize. But seriously Prongs, it's time to move on. It's been five bloody years and the bird ain't moving."
"Maybe you're right, Padfoot. I've just been kidding my self."
"Merlin mate, stop being so sensitive. Evans is just a girl, get over yourself!"
"You're right. From now on, I'm James fucking Potter, chaser and Gryffindor Quidditch captain!"
"Ah, there's my prongsie-boy."
"You mean man."
"…"
Sixth Year
"Prongs mate, we're worried about you."
"What? Why?"
"Ever since you 'got over Evans', you've been really distant. Not to mention boring. I mean, when you were chasing after her, you were sure as hell annoying, but at least you provided some entertainment with all your failure. Now you're a bloody wreck! Not caring about your grades, I mean, you always slacked off, but at least you made a slight effort to impress Evans, sleeping with multiple girls in a week, killing everyone at quidditch practice. Hell, you can't even charm McGonagall out of detention anymore! This is it! Moony, Wormtail and I are hosting an intervention!"
"What the fuck are you talking about Sirius?"
"You've changed man, changed."
"Right…"
"Think about it! When was the last time you made McGonagall blush?"
"Ok come on, just last- OH DEAR MERLIN PADFOOT! I've really let myself go!"
"Of course! What the bloody fuck did I just tell you?"
"You know, starting now, I am the new old James fucking Potter."
"Finally! OI, Moony, Wormtail! He's back! OI Prongs! Where d'you think you're going?"
"I just saw one Lily Evans walk by, and might I say she looked mighty foxy."
"That's my Prongs!"
Seventh Year
"Marls, d'you think he notices me?"
"Of course he bloody well notices you, the boy's been pining after you since first year!"
"Yes but did you notice that he hasn't asked me out since the beginning of fifth? He's given up! I've waited too long."
"No, Lily honey, don't cry. It's ok, just go tell him you've changed your mind."
"Changed my mind? Changed my mind? I've been nothing but horrible to him for the better part of seven years! SEVEN YEARS! YOU THINK I CAN JUST TELL HIM I 'CHANGED MY MIND?"
"Lily, hun, you're worrying me. Calm down. I'm sure he'll understand."
"Oh Marlene, you don't understand! I think about him all the time! I wrote an essay on Amortentia and described him exactly! His cologne, the way he smells after quidditch practice, the way he always smells a bit like pine! I told that to Professor Slughorn!"
"Wow Lils, you really fancy him."
"So much!"
"One thing to do Lily. Find that boy! I think he's flying. Seemed cross for some reason."
"Well then it's a horrible idea to tell him now! What do you want him to do? Kill me?"
"No Lily! You don't get it! What better way to get him un-cross?"
"You're right!"
"Hey where are you going?"
"To find James!"
"That's my girl!"